Enjoy how he licks hot fudge off your face.
Enjoy staring at the stars with him.
Enjoy feeling crazy in love.
Like you will die if you don't see him.
Like you will die if you have to stop kissing him.
Enjoy making out in movies.
Enjoy letting him woo you.
Revel in the slow pace.
Let your relationship build.
Fall in love.
I think about what Aiden said last night too. About how when you know you are going to be together forever, waiting doesn't seem like that big of a deal. That's how it felt with Brooklyn. It's how it feels with Aiden.
Where that leaves me and Dawson is something I don't know. Dawson is like me satisfying my sweet tooth.
When I eat something rich, sugary, sweet, it tastes so good.
But when I'm done sometimes I think I shouldn't have eaten that. It had way to many calories, so I feel guilty.
Dawson is a five layer chocolate cake with ganache filling. Impossible to resist, but leaves you feeling a little guilty after.
I need some cake.
10:30am Most of the classes today have very few people in them, most of us are working, setting up Top of the Eiffel Tower, sunset.
The cafe has been transformed with black drapes and huge canvas artwork depicting a Paris street. The artwork is really good. You can smell the croissants baking.
Outside the student center there are pink and black fabric awning put over the normal green ones. A rental company is bringing in bistro tables and chairs and sprinkling them all over campus. Each dorm has an activity or game or something. Our dorm decided something about bringing out your inner artist and we have all sorts of sidewalk chalk. And we thought it would be cute. People can write like hearts and love notes or something. Our sidewalks are already getting filled with parisian drawings, hearts, people's initials. I look down and see a big heart. Right outside my dorm door. Inside it says, Dawson + Keatyn = forever.
And just like that, Dawson's sweetness makes him impossible to resist. I need some cake.
So I text him.
Me: Saw the heart.
Dawson: I love you.
Me: Are you in class?
Dawson: Naw, helping Coach get all this lawn bowling stuff organized for tomorrow.
Me: Think you could sneak away?
Dawson: Why?
Me: I'm craving you.
Dawson: My room, as fast as you can get there.
There are a lot of people coming and going, so I don't look the least bit suspicious when I sneak into the dorm. I am careful not to run into anyone in the hall. And I make it safely to his room.
He's sitting on his bed, his shirt off. He is so freaking hot. And the second I walk through the door, he is up and has me pinned against the back of it. He's kissing me, pulling off my jacket, my scarf, kissing my neck.
"Did you see your brother's neck today?"
"Did you see my brother's stomach today?"
"We've never done that. Given each other hickeys."
"You've given me a couple little ones before."
"I think I ruined us when I took things too fast."
"You think we're ruined?" He backs away from me.
"Not like ruined, like we missed out on all that. The wooing, the dating, the kissing for hours, all that."
"Is that what you want? Shall I write Dawes across your stomach. I'll do that before the next game. When you wear that little half top you'd have my name blazed across. Maybe I could put my number on your back too."
"Maybe."
"Okay, fine. Come here." He pulls me onto his bed on top of him. "Were just going to make out. That's it. So don't get any of your naughty ideas."
We kiss and kiss and kiss for about fifteen minutes. But I'm laying on top of him, and as our kissing gets deeper, both our hips start that little movement toward each other. That movement that I'm going to fight today.
"Keatie, baby, you gotta stop that."
"Stop what?"
"Every time you kiss me, you like move your hips into me, you're like practically humping my leg, and you keep making those sexy little noises. I don't know how much more I can take."
"Thats cuz you keep pushing my butt into your leg and moving it against me."
I roll off him. Lay next to him. Wrap both my arms up around my head. It pulls my shirt up off my waist. He puts one big hand on my exposed skin.
I moan, then sigh. Try to shake this desire. "Remember, we're just going to kiss. We're just going to kiss."
He runs his hand down across my back, undoes my jeans, pushes them down my legs, pulls my back in toward him, and thrusts himself towards me. I use my feet to kick my jeans the rest of the way off.
"I don't think that's gonna happen," he whispers.
Then he's pulling off my thong. I'm trying to undo his belt, finally get it undone, unzip his shorts, pull down the front of his boxers. When I do, he's so hard, it like springs out at me. He flips me over, holds my hands down above my head with one hand, sliding his shorts and boxers off with the other. Then he grins at me and says "We're just gonna kiss." I wrap my legs around his waist and say, "Yeah, we'll just kiss." And pull him towards me.
Dawson may not touch my soul, but the parts he does touch, he makes feel really good. (And this is part of his pull on her.) We get dressed, Dawson says, "I'm starved. Lets go get lunch."
We're sitting at the lunch table, probably looking way too happy. Bryce says, "So what's going on with you two? Like I saw the it's complicated thing, but then I heard you had a date with Aiden."
"We're allowed to date other people."
"So are you still hooking up?"
Dawson says, "Um, we decided for now, we're just gonna kiss."
"Yeah," I say with a goofy smile, "just kiss."
And he squeezes my hand under the table.
My phone makes a little email ding. I have a message from Grandma.
Grandpa says you want to know the difference between love and true love. Joan Crawford said this, "Love is a fire, but whether its going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell."
And I think Joan was very profound.
Dawson is walking with me to class. "Do you believe in true love?"
"Uh, I think so, why?"
"Like do you think you just know?"
"Like love at first sight? All this french romance stuff going to your head, Keatie?"
"Was our um, just kissing romantic?"
"Hell, yeah."
I look at him, like seriously.
"Okay, so it probably wasn't romantic. It was hot. Sexy. That's what all this is about, huh? The romance? We have the sex, but not the romance? Wasn't last night romantic?"
"Last night, dinner was romantic. I loved that place. I'd like to go back. And I loved that you made me dance with you. Even though it was sorta embarrassing."
"So tonight you're mine, right?"
"I think already was yours."
He laughs, "Naw, we just kissed." The he kisses me and smacks my butt toward French class. "Six thirty. Be ready."
Uh, yeah, just kiss.
French I do have to go to French class. We are working on organizing all the picnic baskets. Everyone had to pre-order them, then a local specialty grocery store put them all together. They also sent us some smaller basic ones to sell before the movie starts. That's what Aiden and I will be doing Saturday night. Everyone is supposed to pick up their food an hour or two before sunset. Then they are supposed to go put a blanket down on the field, pick their spot for the movie, eat. There is going to be French music playing over the loudspeaker during this time. Everyone is really excited for this part.
Aiden says, "So tonight?"
"Um, tonight, I have to hang out with Dawson, but I'm yours all day tomorrow if you want."
Bryce told me you and Dawes decided you're just gonna kiss for now."
I blush. Look down, hope he didn't notice.
"Uh, yeah. Just kiss."
I don't want to lie to Aiden, so I add, "Well, we're going to try."
He narrows his eyes at me and says, "So you might not succeed?"
"We're going to try. I don't want to sleep with him," is what I say.
I just can't help it, is what I don't say.
"I don't like this."
"This basket?" I ask.
"No, this dating me one night and him the next. It sucks."
"I know. I'm going to try and not drag it out."
"Just break it off with him. After Saturday night is over, you'll be mine anyways."
"What do you mean?
"You'll see."
"I think they have this under control. Come over to the my dorm. I want to show you our decoration. It should be up now."