A: Cos he didn't pay for her chips.
Q: Why does an Essex girl keep her feet out of the bath?
A: So her ankle chains don't get rusty.
Q: How do you know when Essex girl's got her period?
A: She stays in to wash her hair.
Q: How does an Essex girl get dinner for her guests?
A: Hello? Is that Pizza-to-go?
Q: What's the difference between an Essex Girl and a gerbil?
A: An Essex Girl doesn't stand a hope in hell of getting a date with a Hollywood star.
Q: Why did the Essex girl join a golf club?
A: She wanted to become the inter-course champion.
Q: Why do Essex girls love snooker?
A: They like men who go in off the pink.
Kevin: 'Ere Trace, fancy trying something from the Kama Sutra?
Tracey: You know I don't like Indian food, Kev.
TV Interviewer: What do YOU think about the Green Belt?
Essex girl: You shouldn't wear it with a pink frock.
Q: What's the difference between Essex girl and Mount Everest?
A: Fewer people have been up Mount Everest.
Q: What's the difference between dating and Essex Girl and travelling on the Star ship Enterprise?
A: The Star ship Enterprise only goes where no man has gone before.
Q: Why does an Essex Girl wear earrings?
A: She wants to look like her dad
Fact: An Essex girl is the only person that can trip a guy up and be on the floor before him.
Did you hear about the Essex girl who thought the Gulf Conflict was a new Volkswagen convertible?
Q: Why is an Essex girl like an anchor?
A: She goes down so quickly.
Essex Man : D'you know why I love you?
Essex girl: I give in.
Essex Man : Tha's right.
Q: What's the difference between Essex girl and Heinz Tomato Soup?
A: There's no artificial colouring in Heinz Tomato soup.
Q: What is the Essex Girl attachment on a Swiss Army Knife for?
A: Getting feet out of steering wheels.
Q: What's the difference between Essex girl and a turkey?
A: A turkey doesn't gobble at night.
Q: What's the difference between Essex girl's pussy and a tube of glue?
A: You might consider sniffing a tube of glue.
Q: Why does an Essex girl where patent shoes?
A: To check she's still got her knickers on.
Q: Why doesn't Essex Girl snort coke?
A: The bubbles get up her nose.
Q: How do you find an Essex girl's G-spot?
A: Promise her a weekend in Marbella.
Q: How do you find an Essex girl's clitoris?
A: Turn left at the handbrake.
Q: How do you confuse an Essex girl?
A: Take her out in a left hand drive car.
Q: Why does an Essex girl where cheap perfume?
A: To keep the flies off her kebab.
Q: How does an Essex girl hold her liquor?
A: By the ears.
Q: Why did the Essex girl give up aerobics?
A: She couldn't put her legs together.
Q: What is the difference between an Essex girl and a table?
A: A table only gets laid 3 times a day.
Q: Where does Essex girl get together with her friends?
A: The VD clinic.
Q: An Essex girl told her boyfriend that lights must flash and bells must ring when he made love to her.
A: So they did it on a Pinball machine.
Q: What is the most essential item in Essex girl's make-up kit?
A: Clearasil.
Q: What is the difference between a supermarket trolley and an Essex girl?
A: A supermarket trolley has a mind of its own.
Q: What's the difference between an Essex girl's knickers and Alton Towers?
A: You have to pay to into Alton Towers.