"Whose name I don't mention, nor intend to," said Jack, gravely. "Her case is so peculiar that it cannot be classed with the others. I never breathed a word about it to anybody, though it's been going on for six or eight months."
Jack spoke with such earnestness, that I perceived the subject to be too grave a one in his estimation to be trifled with. A frown came over his face, and he once more eased his mind by sending forth heavy clouds of smoke, as though he would thus throw off the clouds of melancholy that had gathered deep and dark over his soul.
"I'll make a clean breast of it, old chap," said he, at length, with a very heavy sigh. "It's a bad business from beginning to end."
"You see," said he, after a long pause, in which he seemed to be collecting his thoughts--"it began last year--the time I went to New York, you know. She went on at the same time. She had nobody with her but a deaf old party, and got into some row at the station about her luggage. I helped her out of it, and sat by her side all the way. At New York I kept up the acquaintance. I came back with them, that is to say, with her, and the deaf old party, you know, and by the time we reached Quebec again we understood one another.
"I couldn't help it--I'll be hanged if I could! You see, Macrorie, it wasn't an ordinary case. She was the loveliest little girl I ever saw, and I found myself awfully fond of her in no time. I soon saw that she was fond of me too. All my other affairs were a joke to this. I wanted to marry her in New York, but the thought of my debts frightened me out of that, and so I put it off. I half wish now I hadn't been so confoundedly prudent. Perhaps it is best, though. Still I don't know.
Better be the wife of a poor devil, than have one's heart broken by a mean devil. Heigho!"
H E I G H O are the letters which are usually employed to represent a sigh. I use them in accordance with the customs of the literary world.
"Well," resumed Jack, "after my return I called on her, and repeated my call several times. She was all that could be desired, but her father was different. I found him rather chilly, and not at all inclined to receive me with that joyous hospitality which my various merits deserved. The young lady herself seemed sad. I found out, at last, that the old gentleman amused himself with badgering her about me; and finally she told me, with tears, that her father requested me to visit that house no more. Well, at that I was somewhat taken aback; but, nevertheless, I determined to wait till the old gentleman himself should speak. You know my peculiar coolness, old chap, that which you and the rest call my happy audacity; and you may believe that it was all needed under such circumstances as these. I went to the house twice after that. Each time my little girl was half laughing with joy, half crying with fear at seeing me; and each time she urged me to keep away.
She said we could write to one another. But letter-writing wasn't in my line. So after trying in vain to obey her, I went once more in desperation to explain matters.
"Instead of seeing her, I found the old fellow himself. He was simply white, hot with rage--not at all noisy, or declamatory, or vulgar--but cool, cutting, and altogether terrific. He alluded to my gentlemanly conduct in forcing myself where I had been ordered off; and informed me that if I came again he would be under the unpleasant necessity of using a horsewhip. That, of course, made me savage. I pitched into him pretty well, and gave it to him hot and heavy, but, hang it! I'm no match for fellows of that sort; he kept so cool, you know, while I was furious--and the long and the short of it is, that I had to retire in disorder, rowing on him some mysterious vengeance or other, which I have never been able to carry out.
"The next day I got a letter from her. It was awfully sad, blotted with tears, and all that. She implored me to write her, told me she couldn't see me, spoke about her father's cruelty and persecution--and ever so many other things not necessary to mention. Well, I wrote back, and she answered my letter, and so we got into the way of a correspondence which we kept up at a perfectly furious rate. It came hard on me, of course, for I'm not much at a pen; my letters were short, as you may suppose, but then they were full of point, and what matters quantity so long as you have quality, you know? Her letters, however, poor little darling, were long and eloquent, and full of a kind of mixture of love, hope, and despair. At first I thought that I should grow reconciled to my situation in the course of time, but, instead of that, it grew worse every day. I tried to forget all about her, but without success. The fact is, I chafed under the restraint that was on me, and perhaps it was that which was the worst of all. I dare say now if I'd only been in some other place--in Montreal, for instance--I wouldn't have had such a tough time of it, and might gradually have forgotten about her; but the mischief of it was, I was here--in Quebec--close by her, you may say, and yet I was forbidden the house. I had been insulted and threatened.
This, of course, only made matters worse, and the end of it was, I thought of nothing else. My very efforts to get rid of the bother only made it a dozen times worse. I flung myself into ladies' society with my usual ardor, only worse; committed myself right and left, and seemed to be a model of a gay Lothario. Little did they suspect that under a smiling face I concealed a heart of ashes--yes, old boy--ashes! as I'm a living sinner. You see, all the time, I was maddened at that miserable old scoundrel who wouldn't let me visit his daughter--me, Jack Randolph, an officer, and a gentleman, and, what is more, a Bobtail! Why, my very uniform should have been a guarantee for my honorable conduct. Then, again, in addition to this, I hankered after her, you know, most awfully. At last I couldn't stand it any longer, so I wrote her a letter. It was only yesterday. And now, old chap, what do you think I wrote?"
"I don't know, I'm sure," said I, mistily; "a declaration of love, perhaps--"
"A declaration of love? pooh!" said Jack; "as if I had ever written any thing else than that. Why, all my letters were nothing else. No, my boy--this letter was very different. In the first place, I told her that I was desperate--then I assured her that I couldn't live this way any longer, and I concluded with a proposal as desperate as my situation. And what do you think my proposal was?"
"Proposal? Why, marriage, of course; there is only one kind of proposal possible under such circumstances. But still that's not much more than an engagement, dear boy, for an engagement means only the same thing, namely, marriage."
"Oh, but this was far stronger--it was different, I can tell you, from any mere proposal of marriage. What do you think it was? Guess."
"Can't. Haven't an idea."
"Well," said Jack--
CHAPTER VI.
"I IMPLORED HER TO RUN AWAY WITH ME, AND HAVE A PRIVATE MARRIAGE, LEAVING THE REST TO FATE. AND I SOLEMNLY ASSURED HER THAT, IF SHE REFUSED, I WOULD BLOW MY BRAINS OUT ON HER DOOR-STEPS.--THERE, NOW!
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT?"
Saying the above words, Jack leaned back, and surveyed me with the stern complacency of despair. After staring at me for some time, and evidently taking some sort of grim comfort out of the speechlessness to which he had reduced me by his unparalleled narrative, he continued his confessions:
"Last night, I made that infernal blunder with the widow--confound her!--that is, I mean of course, bless her! It's all the same, you know. To-day you behold the miserable state to which I am reduced.
To-morrow I will get a reply from _her_. Of course, she will consent to fly. I know very well how it will be. She will hint at some feasible mode, and some convenient time. She will, of course, expect me to settle it all up, from her timid little hints; and I must settle it up, and not break my faith with her. And now, Macrorie, I ask you, not merely as an officer and a gentleman, but as a man, a fellow-Christian, and a sympathizing friend, what under Heaven am I to do?"
He stopped, leaned back in his chair, lighted once more his extinguished pipe, and I could see through the dense volumes of smoke which he blew forth, his eyes fixed earnestly upon me, gleaming like two stars from behind gloomy storm-clouds.
I sat in silence, and thought long and painfully over the situation. I could come to no conclusion, but I had to say something, and I said it.
"Put it off," said I at last, in a general state of daze.
"Put what off?"
"What? Why, the widow--no, the--the elopement, of course. Yes," I continued, firmly, "put off the elopement."
"Put off the elopement!" ejaculated Jack. "What! after proposing it so desperately--after threatening to blow my brains out in front of her door?"
"That certainly is a consideration," said I, thoughtfully; "but can't you have--well, brain-fever--yes, that's it, and can't you get some friend to send word to her?"
"That's all very well; but, you see, I'd have to keep my room. If I went out, she'd hear of it. She's got a wonderful way of hearing about my movements. She'll find out about the widow before the week's over.
Oh, no! that's not to be done."
"Well, then," said I, desperately, "let her find it out. The blow would then fall a little more gently."
"You seem to me," said Jack, rather huffily, "to propose that I should quietly proceed to break her heart. No! Hang it, man, if it comes to that I'll do it openly, and make a clean breast of it, without shamming or keeping her in suspense."
"Well, then," I responded, "why not break off with the widow?"
"Break off with the widow!" cried Jack, with the wondering accent of a man who has heard some impossible proposal.
"Certainly; why not?"
"Will you be kind enough to inform me what thing short of death could ever deliver me out of her hands?" asked Jack, mildly.
"Elope, as you proposed."
"That's the very thing I thought of; but the trouble is, in that case she would devote the rest of her life to vengeance. 'Hell hath no fury like a woman wronged,' you know. She'd move heaven and earth, and never end, till I was drummed out of the regiment. No, my boy. To do that would be to walk with open eyes to disgrace, and shame, and infamy, with a whole community, a whole regiment, and the Horse-Guards at the back of them, all banded together to crush me. Such a fate as this would hardly be the proper thing to give to a wife that a fellow loves."
"Can't you manage to make the widow disgusted with you?"
"No, I can't," said Jack, peevishly. "What do you mean?"
"Why, make it appear as though you only wanted to marry her for her money."
"Oh, hang it, man! how could I do that? I can't play a part, under any circumstances, and that particular part would be so infernally mean, that it would be impossible. I'm such an ass that, if she were even to hint at that, I'd resent it furiously.
"Can't you make her afraid about your numerous gallantries?"
"Afraid? why she glories in them. So many feathers in her cap, and all that, you know."
"Can't you frighten her about your debts and general extravagance--hint that you're a gambler, and so on?"
"And then she'd inform me, very affectionately, that she intends to be my guardian angel, and save me from evil for all the rest of my life."
"Can't you tell her all about your solemn engagement to Miss Phillips?"