MENE. And can't you then contain yourself?
Have you no self-respect? And am not I A full example for you?
CHREM. Menedemus, My anger throws me quite beside myself.
MENE. That you should talk thus! is it not a shame To be so lib'ral of advice to others, So wise abroad, and poor in sense at home?
CHREM. What shall I do?
MENE. That which but even now You counsel'd me to do: Give him to know That you're indeed a father: let him dare Trust his whole soul to you, seek, ask of you; Lest he to others have recourse, and leave you.
CHREM. And let him go; go where he will; much rather Than here by his extravagance reduce His father to distress and beggary.
For if I should continue to supply The course of his expenses, Menedemus, Your desp'rate rakes would be my lot indeed.
MENE. Ah, to what evils you'll expose yourself, Unless you're cautious! You will seem severe, And yet forgive him afterward, and then With an ill grace too.
CHREM. Ah, you do not know How much this grieves me.
MENE. Well, well, take your way.
But tell me, do you grant me my request That this your new-found daughter wed my son?
Or is there aught more welcome to you?
CHREM. Nothing.
The son-in-law and the alliance please me.
MENE. What portion shall I tell my son you've settled!
Why are you silent?
CHREM. Portion!
MENE. Aye, what portion?
CHREM. Ah!
MENE. Fear not, Chremes, though it be but small: The portion nothing moves us.
CHREM. I propos'd, According to my fortune, that two talents Were full sufficient: But you now must say, If you'd save me, my fortune, and my son, That I have settled all I have upon her.
MENE. What mean you?
CHREM. Counterfeit amazement too, And question Clitipho my reason for it.
MENE. Nay, but I really do not know your reason.
CHREM. My reason for it?--That his wanton mind, Now flush'd with lux'ry and lasciviousness, I may o'erwhelm: and bring him down so low, He may not know which way to turn himself.
MENE. What are you at?
CHREM. Allow me! let me have My own way in this business.
MENE. I allow you.
Is it your pleasure?
CHREM. It is.
MENE. Be it so.
CHREM. Come then, let Clinia haste to call the bride.
And for this son of mine, he shall be school'd, As children ought.--But Syrus!
MENE. What of him?
CHREM. What! I'll so handle him, so curry him, That while he lives he shall remember me. (_Exit MENEDEMUS._ What, make a jest of me? a laughing-stock?
Now, afore Heav'n, he would not dare to treat A poor lone widow as he treated me.
[Changes:
_Harper_ MENE. The very same thing I was thinking of.
_Colman 1768_ MENE. The very thing that I was thinking of.
CHREM. What is there more that he can counterfeit?
_Harper edition reads "more than he"_
Fool, fool! But by my life I'll be reveng'd: _the 1896 Harper printing has "I'll he". Everywhere else, the 1859 and 1896 printings appear to be made from the same plates_]
SCENE III.
_Re-enter MENEDEMUS, with CLITIPHO and SYRUS._
CLIT. And can it, Menedemus, can it be, My father has so suddenly cast off All natural affection? for what act?
What crime, alas! so heinous have I done?
It is a common failing.
MENE. This I know, Should be more heavy and severe to you On whom it falls: and yet am I no less Affected by it, though I know not why, And have no other reason for my grief, But that I wish you well.
CLIT. Did not you say My father waited here?
MENE. Aye; there he is. (_Exit MENEDEMUS._
CHREM. Why d'ye accuse your father, Clitipho?
Whate'er I've done, was providently done Tow'rd you and your imprudence. When I saw Your negligence of soul, and that you held The pleasures of to-day your only care, Regardless of the morrow; I found means That you should neither want, nor waste my substance.
When you, whom fair succession first made heir, Stood self-degraded by unworthiness, I went to those the next in blood to you, Committing and consigning all to them.
There shall your weakness, Clitipho, be sure Ever to find a refuge; food, and raiment, And roof to fly to.
CLIT. Ah me!
CHREM. Better thus, Than, you being heir, for Bacchis to have all.