MENE. What do you laugh at?
CHREM. I was thinking of The cunning rogueries of that slave, Syrus. (_Laughing._)
MENE. Oh, was that it?
CHREM. Why, he can form and mould The very visages of men, a rogue! (_Laughing._)
MENE. Meaning my son's well-acted transport?
CHREM. Aye. (_Laughing._)
MENE. The very same thing I was thinking of.
CHREM. A subtle villain! (_Laughing._)
MENE. Nay, if you knew more, You'd be still more convinc'd on't.
CHREM. Say you so?
MENE. Aye; do but hear.
CHREM. (_laughing_). Hold! hold! inform me first How much you're out of pocket. For as soon As you inform'd your son of my consent, Dromo, I warrant, gave you a broad hint That the bride wanted jewels, clothes, attendants; That you might pay the money.
MENE. No.
CHREM. How? No?
MENE. No, I say.
CHREM. What! nor Clinia?
MENE. Not a word; But only press'd the marriage for to-day.
CHREM. Amazing!--But our Syrus? Did not he Throw in a word or two?
MENE. Not he.
CHREM. How so?
MENE. Faith I can't tell: but I'm amaz'd that you, Who see so clearly into all the rest, Should stick at this.--But that arch villain Syrus Has form'd and moulded your son too so rarely.
That nobody can have the least suspicion That this is Clinia's mistress.
CHREM. How?
MENE. I pass Their kisses and embraces. All that's nothing.
CHREM. What is there more than he can counterfeit?
MENE. Ah! (_Smiling._)
CHREM. What d'ye mean?
MENE. Nay, do but hear. I have A private snug apartment, a back room, Whither a bed was brought and made.
CHREM. What then?
MENE. No sooner done, than in went Clitipho.
CHREM. Alone?
MENE. Alone.
CHREM. I tremble.
MENE. Bacchis follow'd.
CHREM. Alone?
MENE. Alone.
CHREM. Undone!
MENE. No sooner in, But they made fast the door.
CHREM. Ha! And was Clinia Witness to this?
MENE. He was.--Both he and I.
CHREM. Bacchis is my son's mistress, Menedemus.
I'm ruin'd.
MENE. Why d'ye think so?
CHREM. Mine is scarce A ten-days' family.
MENE. What are you dismay'd Because he sticks so closely to his friend?
CHREM. Friend! His she-friend.
MENE. If so----
CHREM. Is that a doubt?
Is any man so courteous, and so patient, As tamely to stand by and see his mistress----
MENE. Ha, ha, ha! Why not?--That I, you know, Might be more easily impos'd upon. (_Ironically._)
CHREM. D'ye laugh at me? I'm angry with myself: And well I may. How many circumstances Conspir'd to make it gross and palpable, Had I not been a stone!--What things I saw!
Fool, fool! But by my life I'll be reveng'd: For now----