GETA. O happy man! the happiest man on earth!
So very happy, that, beyond all doubt, You are the God's chief fav'rite, Antipho.
ANT. Would I were! but your reason.
GETA. Is't enough To plunge you over head and ears in joy?
ANT. You torture me.
PHOR. No promises! but tell us What is your news?
GETA. Oh, Phormio! are you here?
PHOR. I am: but why d'ye trifle?
GETA. Mind me then! (_To PHORMIO._) No sooner had we paid you at the Forum, But we return'd directly home again.
--Arriv'd, my master sends me to your wife. (_To ANTIPHO._)
ANT. For what?
GETA. No matter now, good Antipho.
I was just entering the women's lodging, When up runs little Mida; catches me Hold by the cloak behind, and pulls me back.
I turn about, and ask why he detains me.
He told me, "Nobody must see his mistress: For Sophrona," says he, "has just now brought Demipho's brother, Chremes, here; and he Is talking with the women now within."
--When I heard this, I stole immediately On tip-toe tow'rd the door; came close; stood hush; Drew in my breath; applied my ear; and thus, Deep in attention, catch'd their whole discourse.
ANT. Excellent, Geta!
GETA. Here I overheard The pleasantest adventure! On my life, I scarce refrain'd from crying out for joy.
ANT. What?
GETA. What d'ye think? (_Laughing._)
ANT. I can't tell,
GETA. Oh! it was (_laughing._) Most wonderful!--most exquisite!--your uncle Is found to be the father of your wife.
ANT. How! what?
GETA. He had a sly intrigue, it seems, With Phanium's mother formerly at Lemnos. (_Laughing._)
PHOR. Nonsense! as if she did not know her father!
GETA. Nay, there's some reason for it, Phormio, You may be sure.--But was it possible For me, who stood without, to comprehend Each minute circumstance that pass'd within?
ANT. I have heard something of this story too.
GETA. Then, Sir, to settle your belief the more, At last out comes your uncle; and soon after Returns again, and carries in your father.
Then they both said, they gave their full consent That you should keep your Phanium.--In a word, I'm sent to find you out, and bring you to them.
ANT. Away with me then instantly! D'ye linger?
GETA. Not I. Away!
ANT. My Phormio, fare you well!
PHOR. Fare you well, Antipho! (_Exeunt._
SCENE IX.
_PHORMIO alone._
Well done, 'fore Heaven!
I'm overjoy'd to see so much good fortune Fallen thus unexpectedly upon them: I've now an admirable opportunity To bubble the old gentlemen, and ease Phaedria of all his cares about the money; So that he need not be oblig'd to friends.
For this same money, though it will be given, Will yet come from them much against the grain; But I have found a way to force them to't.
--Now then I must assume a grander air, And put another face upon this business.
--I'll hence a while into the next by-alley, And pop upon them as they're coming forth.
--As for the trip I talk'd of to the fair, I sha'n't pretend to take that journey now. (_Exit._
ACT THE FIFTH.
SCENE I.
_Enter DEMIPHO and CHREMES--and soon after, on t'other side, PHORMIO._
DEM. Well may we thank the gracious Gods, good brother, That all things have succeeded to our wish.
--But now let's find out Phormio with all speed, Before he throws away our thirty minae.
PHOR. (_pretending not to see him_).
I'll go and see if Demipho's at home, That I may----
DEM. (_meeting him_).--We were coming to you, Phormio.
PHOR. On the old score, I warrant.
DEM. Aye.
PHOR. I thought so.
--Why should you go to me?--ridiculous!
Was you afraid I'd break my contract with you?
No, no! how great soe'er my poverty, I've always shown myself a man of honor.
{_CHREMES and DEMIPHO apart._}