MASC. Are you the husband of this lady?
AND. Sir?
MASC. Is she your wife or your sister?
AND. Neither.
MASC. Upon my word, she is very pretty! Do you come on business, or have you a lawsuit going on before the court? A lawsuit is a very bad thing, it costs so much money; a solicitor is a thief, and a barrister a rogue.
AND. I do not come for either of these.
MASC. You have brought this young lady then to walk about and to see the town?
AND. What is that to you? (_To Celia_). I shall be with you again in one moment; I am going to fetch the old woman presently, and tell them not to send the travelling-carriage which was ready.
MASC. Is the lady not quite well?
AND. She has a headache.
MASC. I have some good wine and cheese within; walk in, go into my small house. (_Celia, Andres and Mascarille go into the house_).
SCENE V.--LELIO, _alone_.
However impatient and excited I may feel, yet I have pledged my word to do nothing but wait quietly, to let another work for me, and to see, without daring to stir, in what manner Heaven will change my destiny.
SCENE VI.--ANDReS, LELIO.
LEL. (_Addressing Andres, who is coming out of the house_). Do you want to see anybody in this house?
AND. I have just taken some furnished apartments there.
LEL. The house belongs to my father, and my servant sleeps there every night to take care of it.
AND. I know nothing of that; the bill, at least, shows it is to be let; read it.
LEL. Truly this surprises me, I confess. Who the deuce can have put that bill up, and why...? Ho, faith, I can guess, pretty near, what it means; this cannot possibly proceed but from the quarter I surmise.
AND. May I ask what affair this may be?
LEL. I would keep it carefully from anybody else, but it can be of no consequence to you, and you will not mention it to any one. Without doubt, that bill can be nothing else but an invention of the servant I spoke of; nothing but some cunning plot he has hatched to place into my hands a certain gipsy girl, with whom I am smitten, and of whom I wish to obtain possession. I have already attempted this several times, but until now in vain.
AND. What is her name?
LEL. Celia.
AND. What do you say? Had you but mentioned this, no doubt I should have saved you all the trouble this project costs you.
LEL. How so? Do you know her?
AND. It is I who just now bought her from her master.
LEL. You surprise me!
AND. As the state of her health did not allow her to leave this town, I just took these apartments for her; and I am very glad that on this occasion you have acquainted me with your intentions.
LEL. What! shall I obtain the happiness I hope for by your means? Could you...?
AND. (_Knocks at the door_). You shall be satisfied immediately.
LEL. What can I say to you? And what thanks...?
AND. No, give me none; I will have none.
SCENE VII.--LELIO, ANDReS, MASCARILLE.
MASC. (_Aside_). Hallo! Is this not my mad-cap master? He will make another blunder.
LEL. Who would have known him in this grotesque dress? Come hither, Mascarille, you are welcome.
MASC. I am a man of honour; I am not Mascarille, I never debauched any married or unmarried woman.
[Footnote: Mascarille answers in his gibberish, "Moi non point _Masquerille_," an allusion to _maquerelle_ a female pander; hence his further remarks.]
LEL. What funny gibberish! It is really very good!
MASC. Go about your business, and do not laugh at me.
LEL. You can take off your dress; recognise your master.
MASC. Upon my word! by all the saints, I never knew you!
LEL. Everything is settled, disguise yourself no longer.
MASC. If you do not go away I will give you a slap in the face.
LEL. Your Swiss jargon is needless, I tell you, for we are agreed, and his generosity lays me under an obligation. I have all I can wish for; you have no reason to be under any farther apprehension.