now and he was in charge.
He couldn't say it all with a grin and a wink as Cam might, or smooth
and fancy as Phillip surely would. He could only speak from the heart
and hope it was right.
"Sex can be the same as eating. Just filling a hunger. Sometimes you pay
for a meal, sometimes you trade something, and if it's fair you're
giving as much as you're taking."
"Sex is just sex. They just pretty it up to sell books and movies."
"Do you figure that's all there is between Anna and Cam?"
Seth moved his shoulders, but he was thinking.
"They've got something that matters, and lasts, that lives get built on.
It's not what you've grown up with, or what I spent the first part of my
life with--that's why I can tell you straight."
Ethan pressed his fingers to his eyes and ignored the swarm of bugs and
the sweat. "It's different when you care, when the other person isn't
just a face or a body that's convenient and willing. I've had that. Most
people do along the way. It's different when it's just that one person
who matters, who makes it right. When it isn't all hunger pushing at
you. When you want, more than anything, to give back more than you take.
I never had with anyone what I have with Grace."
Seth shrugged and looked away, but not before Ethan saw the misery on
his face. "I know you've got feelings for her, and that they're real and
strong and important. Maybe part of you wanted her to be perfect, not to
have the needs other women do. I think a bigger part of you wanted to
protect her, to make sure nobody hurt her. So I'm telling you what I
just finished finally telling her. I love her. I've never loved anybody
else."
Seth stared off into the marsh. He hurt all over, but the worst of it
was shame. "Does she love you back?"
"Yeah, she does. Damned if I can figure out why."
Seth thought he knew why. Ethan was strong, and he didn't put on a big
show. He did what had to be done.
What was right. "I was going to take care of her when I got older. I
guess you think that's pretty lame."
"No." He suddenly, urgently, wanted to pull the boy against him, but he
knew the timing was wrong. "No, I think that's pretty great. It makes me
proud of you."
Seth's gaze flicked up, then quickly away again. "I kind of, you know,
love her. Sort of. Not like I want to see her naked or anything," he
added quickly. "Just--"
"I get it." Ethan clamped down on the tip of his tongue to stifle the
chuckle. The quick surge of amused relief tasted finer than an icy beer
on a hot day. "Kind of like she was a sister, like you wanted the best
for her."
"Yeah." And Seth sighed. "Yeah, I guess that's it."
Thoughtfully, Ethan sucked air between his teeth. "It's got to be tough
for a guy to walk in and see that his sister's been with some guy."
"I hurt her. I wanted to."
"Yeah, you did. You'll have to apologize if you want to put things right
with her."