first fist solidly in the jaw. He would think later, much later, that
the kid threw a fine punch. But at the moment it took all his
concentration to wrestle Seth to the ground.
"I'll kill you! You bastard, I'll kill you as soon as I get a chance."
He wiggled and struggled and fought and waited for the rain of blows.
"Just hold on." Frustrated as the slick, sweaty arms kept sliding out of
his grip, Ethan gave Seth a quick shake. "You're not getting anywhere
this way. I'm bigger than you are, and I'll just pin you down till you
run out of steam."
"Take your hands off me." Seth set his teeth and snarled. "Son of a
whore."
It was a blow harder, and more sharply aimed, than the fist had been.
Ethan caught his breath and nodded slowly. "Yeah, that's what I am.
That's why you and I know each other. You can run when I let you up,
Seth. You can spill filth all over me. That's what people expect from
sons of whores. I'm going to figure you want better for yourself than
that."
Ethan eased back, sat on his heels and wiped the blood off his mouth.
"That's the second damn time you've punched me in the face. You try it
again, and I'm going to wallop your ass so you don't sit for a month."
"I hate your fucking guts."
"Fine. But you're going to have to hate them for the right reasons."
"All you wanted was to get between her legs, and she spread them for
you."
"Watch it." In a lightning move, Ethan grabbed Seth by the shirt and
hauled him up to his knees. "Don't you talk about her that way. You had
sense enough to recognize right off what kind of person Grace was.
That's why you trusted her, why you cared about her."
"I don't give a shit about her," Seth claimed and had to swallow hard
before the hot tears poured out.
"If you didn't, you wouldn't be so mad at both of us. And wouldn't be
feeling like we let you down."
He let Seth go, then rubbed his hands over his face. He knew how
miserably inept he could be at explaining emotions. Especially his own.
"I'm going to talk to you straight." He dropped his hands. "You're right
about what went on before you came home, you're just wrong about what it
meant."
Seth's lips quivered into a snarl. "I know what fucking means."
"Yeah, the way you know it it's ugly sounds in the next room, fast
gropes in the dark, sour smells, money changing hands."
"Just because you didn't pay her doesn't--"
"Be quiet," Ethan said patiently. "I used to think that's all it was, or
the only kind there was. Hard and heartless, sometimes mean. All you
want from the other is what you can get for yourself. So that makes it
selfish, too. You get some release, pull your pants up and walk away.
It's not always wrong. If it doesn't matter to either one of you, if it
gets you through the night, it's not always wrong. But it's not the only
way, and it sure as hell isn't the best way."
He remembered now thinking that he hoped someone else would explain such
things to the boy when the time came. But it appeared that the time was