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Chapter 60

Evil God Army members, assemble:

I was struck by a craving for cup ramen.
To begin with, I don’t even eat real ramen. At the Chinese restaurants that my family goes to, at best they have high class soup noodles.
What I want is miso ramen with lots of bean sprouts and corn!
But the hurdle for this is probably higher than the one for fast food, isn’t it.
If some middle school girl went to get ramen on her own, she’d stand out heaps after all.
So I thought that I could just compromise and eat cup ramen, but then it would probably stink up my room and expose me, and I wouldn’t know what to do with the remaining rubbish either. As for packet ramen, you need to drain the first batch of water after cooking the noodles, and if I messed about in the kitchen, they’d catch me for sure.
But I really wanna eat it…
Or so I was thinking, when a marvellous idea struck me like lightning.
I had dried noodle snacks in my closet.

Baby Ramen

If I put them in hot water, wouldn’t they be like instant ramen?
So I immediately went to get a mug of hot water.
I placed the baby ramen into the mug. Then I waited. I stirred it up with a fork.


Eh-, what the-? This isn’t yummy at all. The taste of the broth is like a few drops of soy sauce in a bucket of water, and the ramen noodles are just all squishy.
It wasn’t supposed to be this way. I even wasted one of my precious few snacks.
But it’s a waste to throw it out, and I need to dispose of the evidence too, so I’ll just force it all down. If I don’t hurry, it’s going to swell up and become even bigger. What a terrifying food!

That night I learnt that making strange modifications to ready-made food is never a good thing.

Since that time with Enjou, Ririna stopped hanging about Kaburagi, and even stopped making a fuss about entering the Pivoine too. I’m thankful to Enjou.
Still, if you asked me if she became completely obedient, that’s not the case either. She was high-handed as always around the first years, apparently.
But well, if she suddenly became like a different person, that would be even more worrying, so I guess this is just right. I feel bad for her cohort though.
Once, I quietly went to see how she was in class, and when I found that all her underlings were quiet-looking girls, my heart really hurt.
But with Ririna’s rampage settled, and some semblance of peace back in my life, both my stomach pains and gluttony were cured. Thank goodness.
If I continued eating the way I did, I’d turn into a baby tanuki again, you know?
Also, there’s the matter of my ‘debt’ with Enjou, but he hasn’t come to talk about it at all. How disquieting. Was it a joke, maybe? No, I doubt it.
My mum from my old life would always go on and on about how I should never be in debt, so I wish he would just hurry up and collect it already.

Anyway, while I spent my days like that, one day a notification for “Summer Camp” came.
It was going to be held at a health resort linked to Suiran, and would be held for three days and two nights.
Last year I couldn’t participate because of my remedials, but this year I want to join in if I can!
Only, even though it seems so fun, apparently not many people participate. None

of the girls around me seemed to have any interest either?
Why? I asked, only to find out that everybody else had their own plans over the summer, or they hated being woken up early, or that they didn’t think there was anything fun about going to some plateau in the middle of nowhere.
Yeah… I don’t suppose it would hold much appeal to a bunch of rich boys and rich girls.
But I want to try it.

When I got home, I immediately told my parents my intentions.
But Okaasama didn’t look very happy to hear it. She gave me reasons like, “A daughter of the Kisshouin family, participating in such a plebeian event?” and “Your skin will burn,” and “Reika-san, you would never be able to handle such a Spartan lifestyle”.
Even if you call it a ‘Spartan lifestyle,’ it’s a Suiran Summer Camp so the health resort is on par with a hotel. Not only that, all of the cooking preparations and cleaning is handled by the staff, so it’s really nothing more than a holiday.
But maybe there are so few people who participate because the mainstream view is the same as Okaasama’s? Speaking of which, I never heard about Oniisama going to Summer Camp either.
But I wanted to go no matter what, so I begged her and somehow got permission.

When I handed my application form to Sensei, she seemed incredibly shocked that I was participating. Is it really that minor an event?
But it’s true that none of the girls in my group were participating at all. And once I realised that, I started to feel a little nervous. What am I gunna do if it ends up as a repeat of last year’s remedials?
Whether or not she knew what I was thinking about, Sensei immediately said “Then please be the leader for the girls!”

“This is my first time participating, so perhaps I am not the most suited to be leader…”

“It’s fine! I believe in you, Kisshouin-san!”

In the end she forced it on me, and I once again ended up as the odd-jobs person. Aaah~
And I found out that the leader of the boys was the maidenly Class Rep.
Long time no see, Class Rep.

“You’re participating in the Summer Camp, Reika-san!?”

“Yes. They say that everything is an experience.”

“I see. But if you’re the leader of the girls, I can really rest easy. I’ll be in your care.”

“And I in yours.”

When I checked the itinerary, I found ‘barbeque’ and ‘fireworks’ written. This is it! This is what I’ve been waiting for! This so-called ‘plebeian event’!
I’ve always wanted to play with fireworks, but I never did have a chance. I’m so looking forward to it.
And given how pleb-like and minor this event is, naturally that duo won’t be participating, and neither will those gyarus.
Aahh, I think I’ll fiiinally be able to relax a little!

I was so excited that I even began packing, even though it was still far into the future.
Because Okaasama has been so noisy about it, I made sure to pack sunscreen. Insect repellent spray, to torches, to medicine, to emergency rations. Also, hmmm, maybe a bell and flute too…? Or so I thought as I crammed stuff in, and I ended up with an unthinkably huge luggage for a two-night trip.
If it’s only 3 days and 2 nights, I wouldn’t even need a suitcase, would I.
But I don’t know what to take out. Should I just send it there?

Ahh, I’m so looking forward to this!

To clarify, a health resort or 保養所(hoyoujo) is sort of like a lodge or resort-type thing that major companies have, and is used for training camps and recreation camps (often for relaxation and bonding).
Suiran is obviously not a company, but the term literally means ‘recuperation place’ so it’s probably more in-line with a ‘health resort’, hence my translation choice.

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