Published at 21st of November 2020 06:13:25 PM
Chapter 54: 54
Evelyn stopped unwittingly, trying to hold Fabian’s hand .
Just as the past that couldn’t be erased, she grabbed the hand that once lived as her husband . Although she said clearly just a moment ago that the relationship between them was already over .
“Wait, is it all right to walk together for a while?” Fabian asked suddenly . He pulled his hands back, which hadn’t had a chance to touch her yet .
Evelyn hesitated for a moment, then nodded . As Fabian said, it seemed to be all right .
“Would you like to see the garden…?”
Fabian nodded at Evelyn’s words . Evelyn got up first and walked away, keeping her distance from him . Fabian’s footsteps were far wider, and he easily caught up with her .
As the wind blew, Evelyn felt Fabian’s body scent, and she kept rushing her steps .
“This is a walk, so no need to rush . ” Fabian said softly . Evelyn didn’t notice that a man was looking at them, gloomily on their way to the garden .
Fabian was different, but Fabian and Liam had a similar mindset, in away . The prediction Liam was going to hover around here was exactly right .
“It’s just the two of us, but nobody is here, so slow down . ”
Fabian’s lip curled gently as he said it . Evelyn didn’t know if her eyes made contact with him because he was so far away, but she was fully aware of where Liam was .
“······Yeah . ” Evelyn then turned around the corner without seeing Liam .
The garden of Felice Palace, which was full of summer greenery, welcomed both of them . The dense foliage was shading the promenade on which they walked created a shady atmosphere .
“It’s summer . ” Fabian said so plainly . Evelyn then slowed her pace, staring back at him . Looking at his serious face, he seemed to have come up with some topic in his mind .
“Yeah, it’s summer . ” without knowing it, Evelyn gave a bitter smile .
Fabian was a capable Emperor, but their private conversation was too serious . But it was apparent that he struggled to find a topic . And to start talks with the topic of the season was a great development for him .
“It’s the season when the trees start to get shady . It’s nice to feel the freshness,” When Evelyn said a word, Fabian’s face lightened up a little without her knowing .
“Is summer your favorite season?” asked Fabian .
“No, I like all seasons . ”
“All,…… . I thought you liked winter . ”
Suddenly, Evelyn got a puzzled look on her face .
“You were born in late winter . ”
She didn’t even think that her birthday would come out from her ex-husband’s mouth .
“At that time… . . when you told me I didn’t know anything about you, I found it in my own way . ”
Fabian’s proud face looked strange . In some ways, it was just a trivial matter, but once he paid attention, his real personality, who was detailed and sincere, came to her mind .
“But your birthday it’s the same week as my father’s memorial service, so the Imperial family celebrates your birthday in spring . ”
Either way, how indifferent her husband was, in truth, Fabian never ignored her birthday . But because of that, he vaguely remembered Evelyn’s birthday in the spring . Since he recalled, spring flowers at the banquet always bloomed to celebrate her birthday .
“It is not … that I was mistaken, but I had my own excuse . ” A leaf’s shadow moved over Fabian’s serious face . If he weren’t sorry, that would be a lie, but that was already in the past since Fabian had been responsible for this continent’s stability from an early age .
“Even now . I like those little things . ”
“So, why are you telling me this? You don’t like wasting time . ”
Fabian hesitated for a moment . He wanted to convey it, but he hadn’t been able to describe it in words . “It’s not a waste of time……Yeah, I honestly thought it was a waste at first . ”
His dark eyes stared at Evelyn deeply, “As I searched and recorded what you asked me, the little things I remember about you, I couldn’t figure out what those little things meant . ”
“Did you search and record it?” Evelyn’s face was stained with bewilderment .
“I did, but I burned it . ”
“What?” Gradually, she couldn’t understand what Fabian meant .
“But it wasn’t erased from my memory . Those little things kept getting on my mind . ”
He first asked Serus to find out about Evelyn, and then he started looking for it himself . It was only after he burned the paper that he knew what those things meant .
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“The blue hydrangea . ” Fabian was pointing his long fingers at the flowers in the garden .
“It also bloomed in the Empress ‘s palace garden . You never planted a flower but I heard that you liked the blue hydrangea . ”
Men’s minds were so mysterious that they couldn’t go back once they were conscious of it . Fabian saw the flowers for the first time and realized how he thought of someone .
“You loved a butterfly-shaped pie . I was told you always used the tea sets brought from the Felice Kingdom when drinking tea, but I learned you’ve spent all your time studying and practicing the imperial court etiquette . ”
It was a story that even Evelyn had forgotten .
“You looked after me when you didn’t do your job as an Empress . What kind of day I had, what I liked and disliked . ”
There were days like that . Somehow he wanted to find the meaning of marriage .
“Now, everything is meaningless . ”
“I know that much . ” Fabian nodded, “But remembering it… It was not meaningless to think of you when I looked at the flowers . ”
Without knowing it, Evelyn looked into Fabian’s eyes . Fabian, in front of her now, was clumsy and calmly confessing what he felt .
“So I understand, no matter how trivial it may be, remembering it for someone makes it special . That alone means something . ”
His low voice still sounded heavy, but his eyes were a little different . The eyes of a man, not the Emperor’s eyes that Evelyn remembered, were looking for an answer .
“Is the answer I found … correct?” Fabian said hesitantly . He also bit his burning lips and looked at Evelyn as if he was wrong . “What I wanted to tell you wasn’t the trivial things, but the mind to remember them, I… . ”
“Please stop it . ” Evelyn interrupted Fabian in a soft voice .
“Am I wrong?” Fabian’s voice sounded bitter as if he was discouraged .
“Your Majesty is always right . ”
“That’s as an Emperor . Now I’m asking as a man who was your husband . ”
Fabian always spoke in an indifferent and stiff tone . It was his lifelong habit . And it wasn’t that different now . However, Evelyn was able to feel a slight difference . How difficult it was for Fabian to say that .
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“It’s not wrong . ”
“Then…?”
Evelyn smiled faintly . Fabian’s eyes, which were about to shine, stopped .
“It wasn’t wrong, but it’s too late . ”
Evelyn’s smile was as beautiful as her beauty . Fabian, who was seeing it, seemed to have a heavy stone landing on his chest . For the first time in his life, he felt helpless .
“Your Majesty, please don’t worry about me anymore . ” Her soft and gentle voice was cruelly the same as his memories .
“I’m trying to correct my mistake . ”
“No, you don’t have to do that anymore . ”
Fabian was briefly silenced by Evelyn’s determined smile . Evelyn stopped walking and stood in front of the fountain in the garden . Her white, slender finger held a petal of a blue hydrangea .
“Whatever it is, if you realize it’s wrong, you can fix it . ” said Fabian .
He was Right . It could have been if it was a public service . But Instead of answering, Evelyn put the petals down on the fountain . A delicate, blue petal flowed down the stream .
“Your Majesty . ”
The petals were floating over the clear water .
“Our relationship seems to just follow the flowing water . ”
Along a stream of water across the garden, far… . . farther away .
“No one can’t reverse the flow, no matter how small a stream of water is . ”
Even Fabian’s eyes could see the petals that had gone away .
“I can grab it with my hands, I can reverse the flow without turning it back . ”
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Evelyn kept a faint smile at Fabian’s still confident attitude .
“Then what happens? I can hold it in your hand wherever the water flows . ” asked Fabian .
“Yes, you could… . ”
Surprisingly, Evelyn answered gently . But Fabian didn’t feel relieved . Just like the flowing petals, Evelyn right in front of him looked faint . She was in front of his eyes, but he couldn’t reach her .
“But you didn’t . ”
Fabian’s face hardened when Evelyn caught the petals before his eyes . He could, but he didn’t . And it was too late when he talked about it .
“You didn’t catch it when it was in front of your eyes, you let it float along the flowing water . ”
The regret was also late . Evelyn said that .
“Don’t look back and think about it . You don’t have to push yourself to find an answer . ”
“I’m trying to find it because I want to . ”
“No, don’t want it . ” Evelyn’s blue eyes were as clear and calm as water .
“Like the water flows, like the seasons go, like the wind blows… . . ”
There was no shadow of regret anywhere in that beautiful trail . That drove Fabian’s remaining regrets even more crazy .
“Evelyn, I… . . ” Now the ugly feelings, like regret and longing, belonged to Fabian .
“Please let it go like that . ”
Just then did the late regret and anguish choke Fabian’s heart . The remorse had his chest tied like a chain .
“Like I did… . ”
The wind blew again . He couldn’t feel any regrets from Evelyn’s easy-going smile .
A strong summer breeze rammed through the hole in Fabian’s chest .