Published at 21st of November 2020 06:13:24 PM
Chapter 55: 55
While Fabian forgot what to say, Evelyn gently bent her knees to give an example . Then, without a moment of hesitation, she turned her back in front of Fabian .
Suddenly, a similar scene flashed through Fabian’s memory . It was a similar back when she turned around and said goodbye on the night when the smell of the golden tree spread .
At the moment, unknowingly, his body was moving first . It was an instinct to embrace her soft back that he couldn’t hold on that day .
“………Your Majesty!”
Even if Evelyn was trying to shake it off, Fabian didn’t budge, embracing her back tightly .
“I should have held you then… . . ”
A deep-low voice rang in Evelyn’s ear .
“I should have caught you on the night when you said you would leave me . ”
Fabian’s arms, which embraced her, were warmer than his arms in her memories . There was a strong scent of him that she had never forgotten .
“I shouldn’t have let you go no matter what . ” The end of his low voice trembled a little .
“I shouldn’t have sent you like that . ”
Evelyn only realized that Fabian’s fingertips, which held her tight, were shaking a bit .
“Everything……I regretted it . Ever since that night there have been no days I did not regret . ”
There was no longer any regret, and Evelyn’s heart was already cold .
“Your Majesty, please stop ……please let me go . ”
“No, now I don’t want any more regrets . I can’t do that . ”
Fabian hugged Evelyn more closely . Evelyn’s warmth, which he had been looking for in the nightmare of a tiring night, was real . He came here all the way, but Evelyn told him to let go of her again .
“You said it was late? Just let it go like a flowing water?”
He would have forgotten it right away if he could . He wouldn’t have come to Evelyn with this foolish regret .
“I can’t . My time stopped when you left, and it started to move when I met you again . I barely knew it now, so why should I let it go?”
Evelyn bit hard on her lips . Fabian had an unknown reason .
“Your majesty ……you and me weren’t in a good relationship, so it’s over, and we’re destined to go in our separate ways . ”
Evelyn stepped out of Fabian’s arms . At the moment, a feeling of frustration arose in Fabian’s chest .
“Stop! It’s destiny, destiny! I don’t want to hear any boring excuses . ”
Fabian reached out, grabbed her arm as she tried to run, and put it in front of him . Evelyn didn’t look straight at Fabian as if she was swallowing her pain .
“I……I’ve already learned the regret of letting you go . I’ll never repeat it again . ”
The real pain came after an easy departure . As easy as letting it go, it hurts even more .
“Even against flowing water, or stopping the blowing wind, I won’t let it slip out of my hands in vain . ”
Fabian had made up his mind already . He said he would never repeat the stupid thing of saying goodbye because it caused regret and left a scar on his life .
“Your majesty, it’s already …”
“Already in the past? I know it well . Yes , I know it’s like hell . ” Fabian took Evelyn’s hands and held them tightly . It was something he wasn’t able to do that night . “So, from now on, I’m not just going to let anything go . ”
The Emperor’s dignity or man’s pride couldn’t comfort Fabian because regret came to his life at every moment . If he’d held hands that he couldn’t keep if he hadn’t let things go that way . So Fabian could hold Evelyn’s hand without hesitation .
“I’ve been wanting to hold this hand again ever since . But as an Emperor, I only realized that I couldn’t change the past . ”
“Why do you know so well…?”
“It’s different now . Then the future will be different . ”
Sponsored Content
Evelyn slowly closed her eyes and then opened them . Her heart ached . Fabian now knew nothing about her previous life . How cruel their relationship was and how vain the end was .
“I was a bad husband to you . I was indifferent because I was busy with official duties, and I was heartless because I didn’t know how to express my feelings . ”
Evelyn didn’t know the day would come when she could hear this from Fabian . She almost forgot to breathe for a moment . He was supposed to be a heartless man to the end . Only then could Evelyn’s choice wouldn’t be wrong .
“But I’ve never broken my marriage vows . ” His dark eyes looked distinctly at Evelyn . “Since we shared our wedding rings, I have never broken my vows, even for a moment . ”
His sincere eyes were hurt . Only then did Evelyn know for sure why her heart was cold . The present Fabian was still Fabian until he caused great pain and hurt to Evelyn .
While Evelyn was silent and obedient, he was still a man who knew nothing and left her alone to die .
“Maybe it wasn’t enough, I certainly loved and cherished you at every moment of my life . Even if I was clumsy and didn’t know your pain, I never pretended I didn’t know it on purpose . It may sound shameful, but I’ve never done something so terrible to destroy our relationship . ”
Evelyn’s eyes had complicated feelings .
“Or … Is there a mistake I still don’t know ?”
In truth, after her return, his cold back was still the same . But nothing had happened to her that was caused by the man in front of her . Evelyn didn’t lose her child, and Fabian didn’t abandon Evelyn .
“The biggest mistake I’ve ever made is to let your hand go easily . ”
As if to prove his words, Fabian held Evelyn’s hand tighter . His body temperature was still hot .
“Now I don’t want to repeat that mistake . ”
Evelyn’s mind was agitated . It was Evelyn, who assured herself that she shouldn’t worry about this man again . But in her imagination, Fabian wasn’t like this .
“I won’t ask you to come back right away . All I want is a chance to make up for my fault . ”
The present Fabian wasn’t just a cold and heartless man . Perhaps because she didn’t lose her precious child, she didn’t have the same resentment she had before her return .
“I want to do what I regretted I couldn’t do to you . At least, I want to erase the regret that that I was not able to do anything at all . ” Fabian’s throat choked up, but he couldn’t bear to express himself .
Sponsored Content
“Then, you can decide after that . Even If you refuse me again at that time…… . it’s not too late . ” There was despair in Fabian’s eyes . Why could a man have changed so much? It was better to stay up to the end as a bad person, and Evelyn despised Fabian, who again bothered her heart like this .
“Or… . You still hate me……” His low and calm voice sounded strange .
“I don’t have any feelings for Your Majesty anymore . ”
Fabian had a faint smile, “But there’s hatred in your eyes that sees me . ”
“I think that’s why it’s fortunate . ”
The night she said goodbye, there was no emotion in Evelyn’s eyes . So it was more unbelievable .
“Even if it’s hateful, it’s a relief that you have feelings for me . ” Evelyn said . She feared seeing those hopeless eyes again .
“I’m glad it’s proof that I still have something to do . ”
“No . ” Evelyn didn’t want to give him false hope . This man once put herself in pain . Whether it was intentional or not, the only one who should have protected Evelyn had abandoned the responsibility .
Evelyn hated it and shook off his hand . Fabian didn’t hold her any longer, but he took Evelyn’s hand with a gentle look .
“But it won’t change . Our marriage couldn’t be happy . ”
“It’s a hasty conclusion, and that’s extreme, too . ” If he had seen what Evelyn had been through, Fabian wouldn’t have been able to say this .
People didn’t change . The oath couldn’t last forever, and the vows were nothing more than vain .
“As it doesn’t change the fact that I am me, so does your Majesty . ”
“I like you because you’re Evelyn Felice . Do you hate me because I’m me?”
Evelyn once also liked a man named Fabian . Not an Emperor, but a man with his serene, dark eyes looking calmly at her .
“……Because it’s Your Majesty… . . ”
Sponsored Content
The shade was shifting . Under the oak tree, Evelyn walked and sat on a small bench . Fabian followed her in silence and sat beside her .
“Because I’m the Emperor . Because I’m the Emperor of the Empire,” Fabian glazed low . “Is that why?”
“Yes . ”
Fabian laughed in vain . “That’s… it’s hard to accept . ”
“I know . I’m married to the Emperor, so it’s a strange reason . ”
She did . Evelyn met, loved, and married Fabian, the Emperor from the beginning . It was a selfish excuse, but Evelyn didn’t know how much it meant to be at that moment .
“Yeah, it’s weird . It’s a strange reason . ” Fabian repeated Evelyn’s words, “But I want to know why you thought that way . ”
His deep eyes looked at Evelyn . The fact that Fabian was Emperor couldn’t be changed . Even he was in the realm of necessity, and he couldn’t help it . So he needed a clear answer .
For Fabian, it was cruel to live without knowing why . And right now, Evelyn couldn’t be that harsh on a man with desperate eyes .
“I don’t know the exact answer . Can I just, … . . talk to you a little bit?”
At least, now, he had the right to know . The man in front of her was still Fabian before he pushed Evelyn into pain .
Fabian slowly nodded . He was the busiest man on this continent, but now he patiently waited for Evelyn than anyone else .
“I was serious when I said that I didn’t know your Majesty…” Evelyn opened her lips between the soft wind . “I thought I knew your Majesty better than anyone else . ”
When Fabian didn’t even remember her birthday, Evelyn pointed to Fabian’s trivial habits . She felt it was proof that she had known him well . Even Evelyn boasted that Fabian didn’t know her and that only she knew him .
“What I know is your outward appearance . Things that everyone can know with a little observation . ”
It wasn’t because Evelyn was special . Whoever was in the imperial court knew much about the Emperor . Protecting the Emperor’s throne was one of her duties as Empress, and Evelyn was one of them .
“And I knew we were very different people . ”
Fabian’s eyebrows frowned a little .