Published at 28th of November 2020 01:42:40 PM
“What…, what?” I became a shameless person who abandons her children .
No, I mean, is that right?
I’m running away to save my life, but I’m going to be a cold-hearted adult who leaves them?
‘Ma, Masha, ···· . ’
‘Are you really leaving?’ Ian asked .
Even Ian’s face, who was only expressionless, had a shade .
“See, the new teacher said she wouldn’t like us either!”
Jeremy said, kicking the door madly . Suddenly I feel like I became a sinner . ‘I went out of the temple like this…’ I felt like someone who had really grown up was coming to revenge for the abandoned . In particular, Jeremy said that he remembered the days of a nursery school while sleeping one day and find himself a knife . (I’m sorry I don’t really understand the last part)
“……Uh····· um······ . ”
It was a difficult situation .
Eventually, Hannah caught Masha’s eyes dripping with tears . The children’s shoulders were drooping .
‘These children… . ’ The villains Hannah thought were not like this . The small and hurt little kid was never the villains she thought .
“Teacher…”
No matter how poor the children look at it, no matter how hurt they look! I had to leave without looking back .
‘But, ··· . ’
Suddenly, a voice floated in my head . “Older sister(Nuna)!”
10 years ago .
Come to think of it, it was a very strange day .
‘Nuna! Nuna! Let’s go to the supermarket together!”
Usually, it was rare to refuse my brother’s request to go to the supermarket together, but that day I feel really tired . I can’t go to the nearby supermarket where you can only cross the street . I’m tired of my brother’s crying and screaming so I sent him cold-heartedly to go home .
And that day, my younger brother left .
To a place where you will never return .
It becomes something that can’t be washed away .
For a while, it was a sad past when it was so hard to be separated from the children who were about the same height as her younger siblings .
“Sister, can’t you come with me?’
That one word still remains a dagger in my heart .
And so Hannah was particularly weak to the children with the same age as her younger brother .
“Like this, are you leaving us behind…?”
When Masha spoke with his tearful eyes once again, she quickly opened her mouth .
“······No . ”
It was because of the appearance of the children overlapped with her younger brother .
So it is . At that moment, I couldn’t leave the children cold-heartily .
“Teacher isn’t going anywhere . I was trying to move the room because it was uncomfortable . Don’t worry . Huh? Masha, don’t cry…”
Hannah felt her heart shrunk when the children cried . Suddenly, Masha ran to her arms and held her . “Teacher, if you abandon us, we won’t… No…”
“Yes, teacher is not going anywhere . ”
Hannah had no choice but to pat Masha’s head and smile awkwardly to Jeremy and Ian . I know these kids aren’t my younger brothers, or maybe it’s just a fantasy of being in the type of the novel, but I can’t turn blind to the crying child . Even thinking that they were poor children, I began to feel more and more concerned .
I don’t know if it’s weak or stupid, but at least now I couldn’t get rid of the kids in a cruel way .
‘I am digging my own grave . ’
Fortunately, she was thinking positively and saying, “Let’s raise the children to be nice . ”
[Monday Observation Diary]
Masha, a lively personality . Loves to eat . Will be violent when angry . Follow what you say and like skinship . He likes dresses and dolls full of frills .
Jeremy, precisely through the ugly four and the seven you want to kill . A naughty boy . He likes to bully others . Often using swearing words . Ex) Je**, Idi**, craz** .
Ian, blunt . Always expressionless . Extremely hating dirty things . Children’s gloves are expensive . Compliant with instructions, but no great sincerity . Like an old man . ]
As a result of observation, the children really had a different personality .
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This is why I wondered why I didn’t like it even though I wondered if he was losing, roasting, and fighting because the personality didn’t match .
It would have been much easier to turn the continent into a sea of fire if the three were united .
‘Well, all the kids’ fight… But are they fight when they grew up?’
Hannah was digging carrots in the vegetable garden and watching the children’s free activities .
Masha was on a swing, Jeremy was hitting the bag with a wooden curtain that I didn’t even know where he got it, and Ian was reading a book with a towel on a bench under the shade of a tree .
‘For some reason, don’t kids of that age get together and play? How can all of them play separately?’
Strangely, the children were from the same childhood . Every time Jeremy said something that didn’t know where he learned it, Ian hated it and despised Jeremy . It was only Masha who was delighted to see the two of them .
It was mainly to laugh at them as idiots .
Tak . Tak .
The hand movement of digging carrots became faster . It was because I had to dig vegetables quickly in time for dinner .
“Teacher, can I help you?” Masha said, twisting his body in front of Hannah .
“Ah, Masha . Can you help me?” Hannah took out a shovel and give it to Masha .
‘What is today’s menu?’ asked Masha, digging in the dirt with brackish hands .
“I’m thinking of beef stew . And I will put in a lot of vegetables . ”
“Yeah, but you don’t have to put a lot of vegetables . ”
“I put in a lot because you guys are so picky . ” Especially Jeremy’s picky was the best of the three . Masha’s pouting his lips at Hannah’s words .
“Well, that’s good too . ” Masha shrugged as if he was sincere .
“But, teacher, why are you not taking classes inside and choose to come out every day?” Masha asked with a blinking eye .
The answer was easy . It was because Hannah didn’t deserve to teach because her knowledge of this world was poor .
“I have a slightly different view of education from other people . ”
It was a brazen-faced answer to myself .
‘Education view?’
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“Well, about how to teach you . Rather than opening a book and teaching difficult words, I want you to grow strong in harmony with nature . ”
The words were pretty good, but in fact, the reason was that I just didn’t know anything at all .
But it took a lot of courage to reveal to these children .
Many adults don’t reveal their weaknesses!
“Oh, I see!” Masha digs hard and smiles with a can of carrots .
‘······Sorry . It’s just because I’m an idiot . ’ Hannah will make sure that she should study about this world before going to bed today .
“What are you doing?” said Jeremy who kicking Masha’s back, who did not know when he was approaching . There was dirt all over his hands and face . When his hands touched the ground, Masha’s eyes turned to Jeremy’s feet . Masha, who had been silent for a while, stretched his back and smiled .
“Where are you kicking with your dirty feet?”
He said with a smile, but I could see that the horse had a thorn .
‘Uh… If you do that…’
Hannah swallowed her saliva with a shovel in her hand . This was a bad situation .
“What do you do with a lot of dirt?” Jeremy laughed by shaking his hand . As a result, Masha also raised his body by shaking his hands . “Isn’t it? It’s dirty anyway . ”
“Right, right,” said Jeremy, nodding his head, and Masha, grasping Jeremy’s back and put him to the dirt floor .
“Ah!” Hannah was the only one surprised by this situation .
‘You’ll just have to turn your back on the dirty one very well anyway!’ Masha ripped Jeremy’s hair off .
“Ah! Hey! Won’t you let go?!”
Suddenly beaten, Jeremy struggling with his arms and legs underneath
Hannah surprised and get up to separate these two .
“You’re such an idiot, aren’t you?!”
Masha’s vocabulary is considerable . Especially when he was angry . Hannah grabbed Masha’s arm, but she didn’t budge from the strength as if she was good enough .
“Oh, Masha . Stop it! Friends shouldn’t hit each other!”
“Yes, friends don’t hit each other . ” Hannah tried to be relieved that her words were through .
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“But it’s also loser who doesn’t know up and down!”
However, Hannah’s face turned pale at the words that followed afterward .
Masha tried to hit Jeremy once again, but the tide turned in an instant, changing the positions of Jeremy and Masha .
Now Masha is rolling back to the dirt floor .
“This, where do you hit me with that power?”
“Jeremy!”
Oh, God . Hannah was crying for a God she didn’t believe in .
“Come on, wait a minute! Guys!” Because it was useless to stop them, Ian quietly came to the next to Hannah .
“Oh, Ian, are you here to help?”
Hannah thought Ian was here to help her . But it was a naive idea, by the way . Ian was just looking down at the two of them without expression and at Hannah’s desperate request .
Rather, he looked like a man in the back who came to see someone else’s house .
When Masha and Jemery were struggling and the dirt splashed on themselves, Ian blocked the dirt with the book he was reading . It was a very good reaction though .
Then he looked at the book with a slightly distorted expression .
There were some dirt particles on the cover of the book . The amount was small enough for the average person to shake it off .
Dug .
But Ian threw the book at the two who rolling back .
“Ouch!” I don’t know who the book hit, but a short scream burst out .
And Ian took off the white gloves from his hand . It was also thrown at the children, he threw it away as if it were a trash can, and he moved to the building, shaking his hand .
“……”
As she looked at it, Hannah touched her forehead .
“Yes . What am I expecting?” Somehow I just wanted to go over today . Every day was like a war . With a deep sigh, she turned to the children again .
“Stop fighting!” Even today, dinner seems likely to be late .