Chapter 49
Chapter 49 – Missing you
Gao Yu Lan did not know what to call the situation now between herself and Yin Ze . Is it a cold war or holding a grudge?
She did not think so because they did not quarrel and also they did not say anything hurtful to each other . She was not angry with him but it was just that in her heart she felt restless and unhappy, so she only wanted to be alone for a few days .
Although she did not think it is a cold war, it is a fact that they were separated from each other for three days without any communication . Ever since the first night Yin Ze sent her two text messages to tease her, there was no more action from him following that . And all the while, she was always thinking……wait for him to send another text message and she will respond to him . However, he did not send any . She let it drag like this and in the blink of an eye, three days passed . She had already sorted out her feelings and the longer this dragged on, the more afraid she was to call Yin Ze .
Gao Father and Gao Mother were very surprised by their daughter’s sudden return and even asked her what had happened . Gao Yu Lan only said that she was going to start work immediately but wanted to come back to celebrate Gao Father’s birthday . Actually, Gao Father’s birthday was still a week away and this year is not the year to celebrate Gao Father’s birthday on a grand scale . The old couple originally did not intend to celebrate at all and Gao Mother had decided just to knit him a sweater as a birthday present . However, he still felt very happy when his daughter came home to celebrate his birthday even though he knew it was only an excuse .
(The Chinese usually celebrate birthdays of the elders on a grand scale meaning that they will gather friends and relatives to have a big feast or hold banquets . According to the age calculated in the lunar calendar, grand birthdays are usually be held when a male elder reaches the age of 60 and celebrate every subsequent ten years while a female elder will hold birthdays from age 61 and celebrate every subsequent ten years . )
This day is Gao Yu Lan’s fourth day at home and the day after tomorrow is her father’s birthday . She went shopping to pick out a gift for her father the whole day but Yin Ze was always on her mind and her mind kept wandering . In the end, she did not buy anything . At eleven o’clock in the evening, she laid on the bed tossing and turning, feeling restless and unable to sleep . Finally, she could not help but call Yin Ze .
With just a ring, Yin Ze had picked up the call but he did not speak . Gao Yu Lan waited for a long while and timidly said . “Hello . . ……”
“Who are you looking for?” Mr . Yin Ze’s voice on the other end drawled .
Gao Yu Lan became quiet……he is really angry, what should she do?
“I’m sorry, I…… . ” The first thing she wanted to do was confess and quickly apologize . But how is she going to explain that she did not run away intentionally?…… . when she had obviously run away deliberately? Tell him she doesn’t want to make him angry? But he’s already angry……
“Who are you looking for?” Uncle Yin was still pretending to have received a call from someone unknown to him . Suddenly Gao Yu Lan felt sad . She held the phone but was speechless and Yin Ze waited for a long while on the other side .
“Hey…… . . ” He said . “If you are not speaking, I’m going to hang up . ”
Gao Yu Lan’s tears welled up . These past few days she was feeling depressed and she had mulled over all the things that had happened . She could not help but think of him and it was not easy for her to muster the courage to call him and now he is behaving so cruelly . She felt very sad . The more she thought, the sadder she became, and finally, she burst into tears .
“Hey, hey……” Yin Ze heard her crying and became anxious . “Don’t use this trick . We have not started talking yet . The minute you come on, you can’t use this weapon of mass destruction . Don’t cry… . . don’t cry…… I’m just joking . I’m just teasing you, don’t cry . ”
As soon as he said that, Gao Yu Lan simply let herself go and bawled . She felt so sad that she just wanted to cry .
Yin Ze sighed on the other end of the line . “Okay, okay, it’s my fault . My dear, I’m wrong… . ” He kept coaxing her . “I shouldn’t simply joke . You know I always have a cheap mouth, it’s my fault . I’m sorry, don’t dump me . ” He choked on the last few words . “You can’t dump me because of my interests…… . If you don’t want me, what shall I do? I can only bring Mantou with me and wander around………wu*, wu*, wu*…… . (*crying sounds)
Gao Yu Lan sniffled and said . “You have already admitted you’re wrong, why do you still have to play-act? You’re really hateful, I hate you the most…… . ”
“It was just an act on impulse only, not deliberate, so don’t hate me…… wu*, wu*, wu*…… . ”
She sniffled and had lost interest in crying after Yin Ze’s noisy interference . “If you act again, I’ll ignore you . ”
“Why ignore me?” Yin Ze’s voice turned serious . “Don’t cry, let’s talk properly . I’m sorry . ”
“Then don’t mess around . ”
“Okay . I’m wrong and I’m sorry . I apologize to you . I’m a big bastard . ” Yin Ze sincerely apologized once more . Gao Yu Lan wiped her face and her mood became much better .
“What are you doing?” She asked .
“Lying on our bed . ” Yin Ze answered and then he asked . “What are you doing?”
“Lying on the bed . ” She replied without the word ‘our’ in the sentence and Yin Ze sighed . “I can’t sleep without you here . ”
“Yin Ze, are you still angry with me?”
“Next time, don’t run away without informing me, okay? You didn’t do anything wrong, so you don’t have to run away . If you are dissatisfied or unhappy, you can tell me straight away . I’m your boyfriend, the person that you should dare to scold, dare to nag, and dare to vent your temper . Even if you want to give me face, you shouldn’t just say ‘it’s nothing’, then turn around and run away with the excuse of celebrating your father’s birthday, okay?”
“I’m sorry . ” Gao Yu Lan said in a low voice . She knew this time she was in the wrong . If their roles were reversed and Yin Ze treated her the same way she did to him, she would be very angry and very sad . This kind of treatment, saying one thing and meaning another was in fact very hurtful .
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“In the future, if I make you unhappy again, you can beat me, scold me but don’t run away secretly, okay? Even if you want some quiet time alone, tell me directly and don’t secretly run off by yourself, understand?”
“Yes . ”
“Then are you still angry with me now?” Yin Ze asked .
“I don’t think I’m angry . ”
“Then what is it?”
Yin Ze’s question made her withdrew into silence but he did not urge her to speak and instead waited patiently for her . After a long time had passed, she finally spoke .
“Yin Ze . ”
“Hmm?”
“Yin Ze . ”
“Yes . ” Yin Ze sighed . “I’m here . ”
“Yin Ze . ”
“I miss you, Lan Lan . Don’t be angry with me, okay? These few days, I’ve thought about us and realized I was selfish . I only looked at the problem from my point of view and to me, the matter was not important but to you, it may be very serious . I believed I was right but everyone’s standards are different and I only saw myself . If…… . ”
“No, Yin Ze, actually I was jealous . ”
Yin Ze was stunned . “Lan Lan…… . ”
“I was jealous, Yin Ze . That was why I felt sad…… I was willful and that time, I didn’t know why my heart was so chaotic but now I know . Regarding that matter, I felt you paid more attention to her than me and you considered her feelings more than mine . It seemed to me as though I don’t have the first place in your heart and so I felt sad . I felt jealous…… . ”
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“You’re important to me… . . very, very important . ” Yin Ze hurriedly assured . “To let you have this feeling of insignificance was my fault and this is indeed bad . Of course, I value you, Lan Lan… . . ”
His little bun is jealous………should he feel happy or worried?
“I know you have always been good to me . ” Gao Yu Lan said . “I’ve been thinking a lot these days about what you said to me before . Although you were always joking, you’ve never said any of those fake sweet words to me . In the past, Zheng Tao said a lot of those words to me but in the end, he dumped me . In fact, what Ruo Yu said is correct . His love for me must have already waned and that incident gave him the excuse to dump me . Yin Ze, I’ve been hurt in the past and after thinking for a long time, I realized that you have never mentioned the words like what Zheng Tao said to me…… . . about having first place in your heart or you wanted to pluck the stars for me or that you’ll only love me in your life and that you’ll abandon all other people just for me, and………I actually feel very happy . ”
“You’ve made me feel at a loss and I don’t even know what to say . ” Yin Ze said in a low voice .
“I’m sorry, Yin Ze . I ran off at that time because I didn’t know how to handle my negative emotions . I just wanted to escape when I felt sad . I shouldn’t have done that . ”
“I’ve made you feel sad and I’m very sorry . ” Yin Ze felt his heart ached after listening to Gao Yu Lan .
“No, Yin Ze… . . I’ve thought this over . When you spoke of that ‘swimming’ matter, although it wasn’t pleasant to the ear and it made me very unhappy, I feel you’re right . Although I feel sad in my heart, I still feel that you’re right . Whenever something happens, I feel very pitiful for myself because nobody would stand up for me and nobody would support me . I would think of how they could treat me like that when obviously, I was being wronged . Ruo Yu said they had ganged together to force me to leave but in actual fact, it was me who forced myself to leave because I couldn’t bear the grievances . I felt I couldn’t bear any more of their discrimination and all kinds of speculation about me . I kept thinking about how bad and chaotic my life was and I felt I was the butt of their jokes, that’s why I left . ”
“Lan Lan, you’re not in the wrong . You’re very good and you’re in pursuit of satisfaction in life . Everyone is like this . ”
“Yin Ze . ”
“Yes?”
“You mentioned that you were tired and I want to learn how to ‘swim’ . I want to share your worries and I shouldn’t be thinking to rely on you for everything . I hope you can also rely on me . ”
His heart skipped . Her words had hit bullseye through his heart . She wanted him to rely on her . Ever since his parents died, he had no one to rely on and now his Lan Lan wants him to rely on her .
Yin Ze covered his eyes with his palm . Suddenly he realized he was far more vulnerable than he thought himself to be . It turned out that he was also greedy and he expected so much from her because he also hoped to have someone to rely on .
“Can you come back tomorrow?” He missed her very much . She is so good, so brave, so beautiful and he misses her so much . He wants to hug her .
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“No, the day after tomorrow is my dad’s birthday . I promised to celebrate his birthday with him . ”
“Oh, then why did you pick this time to give me a call? I feel sad when I don’t see you . ”
“I miss you, Yin Ze…… I miss you . ”
This night, the two people talked for a long time . Finally, it was very late when they reluctantly hung up the phone .
Gao Yu Lan’s heart was filled with joy and sweetness . She wished that a Godly Uncle would make Yin Ze instantly appear before her eyes . She kept thinking until finally, she became drowsy and fell asleep . She was unsure how long she had slept when suddenly her phone rang . She looked at her phone and saw it was from Yin Ze .
“You can’t sleep? Do you want to talk to me? I’ll be back the day after tomorrow . ”
“I can’t wait, I want to see you . ”
Gao Yu Lan pursed her lips and muttered . “But I don’t know how to fly . ”
“Come down, I’m at your district entrance . ”
“What?” Gao Yu Lan instantly sat up . “Where are you?”
“At your district entrance . Come down . ”
Every cell in her body felt excited . He actually came! He had driven a few hours through the night just because he missed her!
Gao Yu Lan quickly jumped out of bed and randomly grabbed a coat to drape it over her body . Then quietly she opened the bedroom door and once she was out of the main door, she ran straight to the district entrance .
The night was dark and only a few street lights were lit . Gao Yu Lan ran hard and fast out of the district and at the entrance, she saw Yin Ze’s car . She rushed forward as Yin Ze got down from the car and she ran straight into his arms . He hugged her tightly and lowered his head to kiss her .