Chapter 46 Jealousy Again:
Fufufu. Heeheehee.
I could not stop the gleeful expression on my face; I talked to Priscillsama! Ha~ she was so lovely! (Zuben: she wanted to punish you for hanging out with her fiancé)
Her dignified figure, I will burn it to my memory!
‘I kept you waiting a while, were you alright?’ Volker asked as he picked me from my seat unto his lap. We were in the carriage now. He kissed me on my forehead. His kisses tickled my body.
‘Unusual things do not happen in the Castle, does it? Ah, but this time, I was able to meet a person I adore!’ I said with a full smile.
Volker’s face fell, ‘Someone you adore?’
I replied yes to Volker while I recalled Priscilla’s figure. (Zuben: thinking of another woman while your man is near you?)
‘It’s so nice to remember; her dignified appearance, her gentle countenance, her voice! I would…?!’
Volker’s large hand held my jaw as I was about to say I also want to be a dignified lady like Priscilla.
‘Volker-‘
My eyes widened with surprise as he kissed me hard. His hot tongue invaded my mouth and entangled with mine.
‘A~nn Vol-‘
My tongue and saliva were sucked, even when we separated for air; he went back to kissing me right away. I am surprised by Volker’s need for me, but I am happy. I loop my arms around his neck and embrace him.
I forgot that we were in a carriage and kissed each other senseless. Eventually, with some reluctance we parted. Volker rubbed his forehead against mine and wiped my wet lips,
‘I’m sorry, your lips are all red now.’ I was always worried about my appearance after Volker had kissed and sucked me. My face got red.
‘That’s because you do it in such a rush… I don’t want to stop; I just want you to be a bit slower.’
Before I could finish, Volker got the attention of the coachman, ‘To Barotta.’
Barotta? What do you mean Barotta?
‘Volker, aren’t we going home?’
‘We’re going on a short trip.’
Barotta was a luxury hotel near the Castle. The main patrons to Barotta were dignitaries from other countries. But aristocrats and rich merchants patronised the restaurant as well. They sometimes stayed as well.
‘But I told everyone we would be home before dinner.’
Volker’s cook was really wonderful. Marie and I were captivated from the first day! I looked forward to every meal.
‘It’s alright, I’ll send a message home.’ He replied.
Well, it would be nice to have some tea. I am hungry but I don’t think what I want is food. Volker’s eyes were smouldering. I felt a corresponding burning within me.
‘But that…wouldn’t it be better to be at home?’ I asked shyly. At home, I am relaxed and comfortable and it would be dark. But Volker did not budge.
‘…it’s still bright outside, isn’t it?’
‘Do you dislike it?
That is not it. How could you think such a thing when we’ve made love already?! It’s not like that…it’s just embarrassing in the daylight…
‘No, but…’
Before I knew it, we were at Barotta’s portico and he was telling the coachman to pick us up in the morning. So we are staying…
Volker held me close as we went into the foyer. I obediently leaned on Volker’s chest so I could hide my face. I could hear Volker’s heartbeat and it sounded excited. Volker was also excited, wasn’t he?’
‘General Brennan, how do may we serve you?’
It seemed Volker was known to the staff here. That’s right, as the General of the Royal Guard, he much escort important guests here.
‘My wife is feeling a little unwell. Can we have a room so she can rest?’
When did I feel bad? I have only been eating sweets all afternoon…No…
‘Of course, right away sir. Shall I arrange for a doctor to see her?’
The savvy staff must have noticed something I didn’t. I wonder if I really look ill. I looked up at Volker. (Zuben: They just be doing their job)
‘There is no need; she will get better with some rest.’ (Zuben: or unrest)
We were directed to a finely appointed suite. Volker lay me down on the bed and asked the attendant to get us some light refreshments. After the attendant left, I giggled and asked,
‘Did you get impatient when they asked if I needed a doctor?’
Volker covered my body with his. His large hands stroked my body as he kissed me. My body responded,
‘I will not let anyone touch Fredericka in this state – only I can touch you.’
Is that so? As he kissed and caressed me, my body shivered. His ran his hand up my leg and under the skirts of my dress. I cried out instinctively as his hand touched the skin above my stockings directly.
Volker lifted the hem of my dress and touched the apex of my thighs.
I moaned again and clenched my thighs together to keep Volker’s hand from playing with me further, but he easily went past and caressed my secret place with his long fingers.
‘Oh Fredericka, you’re so cute.’ Volker said into my ear. His voice resonated in a deeper part of me. The movement of his fingers became more smooth and fluid – nectar was dripping. The honey made a shameless sound. I endured – turning my face into the pillow. I was gently pushed up into crescendo and I cried out in surrender.
‘Ah! Volker…I-I’m…cumming.’
I embraced the waves of pleasure with the tightening of my belly, this was not a situation where we can go back. (Zuben: where are you going back to?) My body trembled in expectation; waiting for Volker.
Over the past three days, I have been completely taken and my body remembers the pleasure Volker gave me. Now, I get that feeling in a blink of an eye!
It’s not my fault that I’m thinking; hurry, hurry. It’s not my fault alone! Maybe…
I wondered if he knew my feelings or I should tell you. Volker’s fingers stopped moving. I responded unexpectedly,
‘Fu~a’
I want more now.
Then Volker said, ‘This is the first time I made you come wearing underwear.’
I really wanted to kick Volker in the jaw. (Zuben: LOL)
Shortly after, we sat up side by side wearing house coats and drinking fruit infused water that had been sent up.
‘So about Lady Priscilla…?’ Volker asked as he kissed my temple.
I pouted and replied, ‘I had started to tell you but you were getting frisky.’
I wasn’t really angry; making love with Volker is pleasant. Doing it in a different place, gives a different feeling. It’s alright…
‘Isn’t that because you are saying you adored Priscilla?’ he said into my ear as he nibbled and kissed his way down to my jaw.
‘That’s because I admire her and want to be like her!’
I want to be dignified and calm. I want to be calm so that strange sounds like don’t come out of my mouth. (Zuben: foregone conclusion)
‘I think that you are sufficiently a nice Lady as you are. I will be anxious if you get more perfect than this.’
Even if he was a powerful Royal Knight, he wouldn’t be able to crack down on the other knights, and embrace me, they are too numerous.
No no no. That is a gross overestimation. There is no possibility of that happening. But even if I told Volker, he would not bend his opinion. I’m kind of worried.
‘Conversely, you can’t become more wonderful, Volker or I really would be nervous another lady will take you away from me.’
A woman’s charm gradually declines with age but a man’s charm increases! Dandyism backed with life experience; it is definitely dangerous!
‘It wouldn’t matter if I am being seduced by other woman, it would be useless.’ Volker said as he pulled me into a hug and placed me on his lap facing him. His hands were at my waist as he pulled me closer.
‘I’m sure it only reacts to you now.’
I was startled as his hot hard thing hit my butt.
The place between my legs went kyun~. Why so soon? Why am I rocking my hips against Volker?
I looked into Volker’s eyes and nodded.
‘Shall we, Fredericka?’
Eh? Wai? It’s not that, Volker!
It seems that he understood something contrary to my intentions. I tried to argue but my mouth was stopped with kisses.
A, a~a a ā…
47 Cinderella and Her New Friends:
It was a sunny day today as well.
Half a year has passed since my marriage to Volker, in a blink of an eye; I am now eighteen years old! A little calmer (Self declared). I have become quite an adult.(Self declared)
I am now familiar with running my new home and working hard as a lady every day.
Once, Volker had to go on a diplomatic trip with the King to sign a treaty. I assured him that I would be fine,
“Please leave the care of house with me and Mr Xavier!” I said as I thumped my chest. But when I went to see him off, I had a sad expression on my face. Why is it so?
But he came back alright.
We are deepening our marital relationship steadily. Volker is kind and exciting as ever.
I think I want it to be this way forever!
This morning, I am in a state of anxiety. I filled and stuffed baskets with sandwiches and salads that I had made to ensure that I was well prepared. I checked and double checked to make sure I hadn’t forgotten anything. All that was left was to change into an outing dress and leaving at the appointed time.
The time hasn’t passed from the last time I checked?
Is the clock broken?!
‘Why don’t you calm down?’ Volker said as he hugged me from behind. Out height difference isn’t negligible so he lifted me. I was a bit startled by him carrying me so I put my arms around his neck to steady myself. It did make it easier to kiss him. The servants around us look at us with warm eyes.
‘But it’s an invitation from Priscilla! I am being calm!’ I replied.
I wrinkled my nose as I clenched my fist. Volker frowned.
In this past six months, I often visited or went out with Priscilla. She invited me to tea, to see plays or visiting an orphanage. (Zuben: Is this a “stay away from my fiancé” tactic, Priscilla?)
Priscillsama is the first lady I have gone out with that isn’t Mother or Marie, so I was very tense and careful in my behaviour, but she had said with a gentle smile, “Do not be so stiff, we are now friends.”
Oh I cannot find the words to honour Priscillsama!
‘Is it that you love Priscilla more than me?’ Volker asked grumpily.
This visit with Priscillsama was a sleep-over! Starting with a picnic in her family gardens! What a treat!
But since the invitation a few days ago, I had been walking on air and Volker had complained many times, “You love Priscilla more than me.”
Though that was not the case – 『teehee』but I find jealous Volker cute.
‘I will return tomorrow, so don’t worry. Alright?’ I said in a placating tone.
He kissed on my lips and cheek and ears. Mr Xavier came to call him. He had to go and attend to the King.
As I stood at our portico and watched his carriage drive away, I sighed,
‘I wonder if it is because I am still childish.’
The thought that there were many older women vying for Volker’s attention made me feel sick.
‘It’s not, ma’am,’ Xavier replied. I turned to him, he had a thin smile on his face.
Mr Xavier, who seems to know everything, is a very competent butler but a little different from Oliver. It seems that he was a little…playful sometimes?
‘You have no shortcomings, Mistress, you are adult enough. As for your husband…that is a man’s inevitable sexual saga.’ He said while looking into the distance.
Hmmm, sometimes he says things I really do not understand. (Zuben: Me neither)
♢
Intruding upon the Erschlen’s house, I could not close my mouth. I was guided through the luxurious home by the butler.
So this was how aristocrats live; like blooming flowers.
So glittery; my eyes are dazzled!
‘Fredericka, welcome.’ Priscilla said as I was brought up to her. As she bothered to come and meet me, I picked up my skirts and went up to her in a hurry.
‘Thank you for inviting me today.’ I said.
‘Oh, you don’t have to be so stiff. Come, I’ll introduce you to everyone.’ She said as she held my hand and pulled me forward into the drawing room.
Are you talking about the beautiful people that were waiting for you?
Priscillsama, don’t hold my hand! My heart is not ready! But I’m happy we’re holding hands.
‘Eh?’ I exclaimed as Priscilla tugged on my hand.
‘Everyone, this is my little sister Fredericka.’
Guhi ~ya! !
What?!
I’m happy to be called Priscilla’s sister but wouldn’t saying such a thing be disadvantageous to the Duke of Erschlen?!
The ladies surely would be bothered…
‘So this is Fredericka? I always wanted to meet you.’
‘I am Mariel, I hope we get along.’
‘I am Lutina. We met at a tea party in the past; do you remember?’
‘I am Sylvia, pleasure to meet you.’
Um? They are friendly? They were friendlier than ladies that I knew, huh? (Zuben: Well you’ve attached yourself to a more powerful person, you see)
Priscilla gave me heartfelt smile.
‘Calmly, ladies. We don’t want Fredericka to run away in a panic, do we?’ she said. Priscilla urged me to sit and took the space next to me. The tea was quickly brewed and a cup was gracefully placed before me. Priscilla smiled meaningfully,
‘Everyone wants to be friends with Fredericka.’ She said. (Zuben: Do they now?)
They do? I could not believe it!
♢
The ladies Priscillsama invited seemed to be very familiar with her. It looked as though, they were friends who could discuss their opinions regardless of their family status. But I do not understand why these people want to be friends with me? (Zuben: Priscilla told them to)
‘We like cute things.’ Delfina, the first person who greeted me, said as she traced her necklace with her fingers.
‘This necklace; it was your design. I liked it when I first saw it.’ Delfina said.
‘No, it’s not my design. I was just chatting with Kalome’s designer about my ideas.’ I cried holding my hands over my face. Everyone was impressed that I was “modest”. But that is not the case; the designers and craftsmen that create these things are the amazing people. Even though I tried to say that, I was replied with a chorus of;
‘Aww, she’s embarrassed.’
‘Fredericka is so cute.’
Somehow, am I being misunderstood?
‘Ladies, how cute is my sister? Don’t tease her too much though.’ Priscilla said.
I drank my tea with bathed cold sweat.
♢
We went out into the large garden and enjoyed a picnic lunch. The luncheon was a combination of the sandwiches I brought and the fare the Erschlen chef prepared. It became a very lavish picnic.
Even so, everyone was delighted to eat what I had made and told me it was delicious. My eyes were filled with joyous tears and I felt overwhelmed, but as a whole, it was a peaceful lunch. And I think that I deepened my friendship with the ladies.
We discussed fashion, politics, favourite sweets, parks, tailors as well as fiancés and the disadvantage of identity. We had talked about so many things well into the evening without having dinner. I was led to a guest room, where I could take a bath and rest. Just as I was about to go to bed, Sylvia and the others came to my room for more chatting,
‘Tell us about General Brennan. I have spoken to him before…he is an admirable person, but I remember he was a little difficult to get to know. So how did you become his bride?’ Sylvia asked almost shyly.
‘Oh I want to know!’ One of the ladies added, ‘I heard he had changed a lot since he had been married to you. How did you do that?’
‘Everyone was surprised to hear that the famously unshakable general was getting married.’
Oh this is bad! I could not escape!
I beseeched Priscilla with my eyes looking for assistance, but Priscilla’s eyes also sparked with curiosity.
‘As for me, I would like to know about Priscilla and Price Stefan…’ I said trying to divert attention from myself, but I was at a disadvantage; everyone knew about Priscilla and Stefan.
‘So, when and where did you meet?’
As I tried to summarise the story in my head; deleting the losing the panties part…
‘From the beginning…!’ Lutina said. After all girls like this type of story don’t they?
‘It may not be very interesting, though.’ I said as I took a deep breath and started with the night I was jilted by Eugene…
…
‘…with the feeling that~’
I gently told the story excluding all the problematic parts. Cleaned up the story, this lady will not lose sight of the goal.
‘Oh but what about at the theatre; I heard that the general said, “Miss Fredericka is not attaching herself to me. I am wooing Miss Fredericka. I’m going to flirt with her now, so please do not disturb us.”
Hi ~iyaa~aaaa! How do you know of this?! That’s too damn detailed. Oh my goodness, I could not help but blush as another of the ladies said,
‘And what about the date during the Royal Guard training in the outskirts of the city!’
‘Yes, Fredericka got princess hugged there, didn’t you?’
‘I also heard that he gazed at Fredericka with a hot look.’
Ppardon! Where did you get all this information? Please stop, I will soon explode with shame!
Then Mariel took my hand and said, ‘Although, it allowed you to meet the general; you must have had a hard time after the ball.’
Everyone went quiet, and as though a phantom breeze blew; the ladies shivered.
How? They have been distracted.
‘No, not at all. I am fine after all.’ I said trying to comfort the ladies. I smiled and gave a guts pose. But the ladies just gave me pitiful looks.
It really wasn’t that bad…!
‘To do such a thing in front of so many people like that, even those who had been long for Eugene have been disillusioned.’
Is that so?
I never knew.
I had thought Eugene’s popularity was rock solid.
‘And that Julia is a little strange…’ Lutina suddenly said in anger. Everyone looked thoughtful with frowns on their faces.
The atmosphere had become nasty. That’s not good.
‘…When I saw her at the theatre; she had suddenly become adult like! Perhaps she is unstable because of the imbalance between the growth of body and mind?’
Was there such a thing?
Delfina’s head feel forward and she was shaking. Was she cold?
‘N mo! Fredericka is too kind! She’s not someone you should defend!’ she said as then she came close and cuddled cheek to cheek. Sylvia came to my other side and did the same.
‘I’m sure this is what the general likes.’
I’m not quite sure what they are referring to. My head was heated, and I am surrounded by the scent of flowers 『bowa~』
Hauu, girls are soft and smell nice; it’s the best!
48 The Duke’s Son’s Agony:
The Author says: This is Eugene’s view you don’t have to read it. There is a line that might upset women but it is a private feeling of Eugene, but if it seems unpleasant there is no excuse (>_<)
♢
Destiny seems to like the long way.
Even when you want to go straight, it strangely makes you bend.
The goddess of fate is evil; she should have made Julia my fiancée from the start.
Instead, I had to contend with a tedious slow process.
Julia, my destined lover, is a commoner. However since she is a noble person she is wonderful. I am not one to say unequivocally that commoners are inferior.
While it was true that the level of culture and education was lower amongst commoners compared to the nobility, it is only natural because there are fewer places for their education. That being said, my Julia can do without knowing how to read, write or calculate; neither does she need to learn etiquette deeply. She seems to be a hired help of the lowest class. Yet, I want to meet her parents but she doesn’t let me. Even though she is my lover bestowed upon me by the goddess of destiny.
Even though I want to meet her parents so that I can get permission to marry her, she doesn’t allow me. She tells me she is ashamed or they are busy with work. So, the story is at a stand-still.
They are my beloved Julia’s family, I would not look down on them because they are poor and do not have high etiquette. If they were busy I can go and meet them where they are, I am not above them because I am a noble. I do not have the mind to boast about it.
And I am worried that disgusting insects would start to buzz around my lovely Julia. I want to establish beyond doubt that she is my fiancée.
I tried to get our engagement petition into Parliament but my father was there and he furiously opposed. Actually, I had no documents; I just wanted to put it through with the power of my Ducal household.
But Julia has become strange recently; she had become awfully bearish and started to say she doesn’t match me as my lover.
But even though I tell her I love and adore her, she just shakes her head and looks depressed.
I’m sure this is because of my abominable former fiancée: Fredericka Castley.
Julia must be depressed because she married the Royal Guard General to spite Julia and me.
I was only engaged to her because Father commanded me to. Otherwise, there was no way I would be close to such a smelly girl.
Even though, it was my duty to secure the line of succession as the next Duke by marrying a woman. The thought of the gobs of ugly flesh that exude a sickly sweet smell that could have no purpose, but to rub against a man…a woman.
I hate the creatures called women.
But Julia is different; she could not be compared to Fredericka Castley. This is why I am attracted to Julia.
When we first met, she had an insecure expression on her innocent face that attracted me deeply. Now she had a magical sex appeal. But she did not exude the sickly sweetness other women did. She had a clean dignified aura; lithe limbs and beautiful skeletal structure. (Zuben: Does Julia’s jaw look like it could crack granite?) I could not stop being fascinated with her.
Ah Julia, lover of my destiny; I want to touch you as soon as possible.
For that reason, I do not care if I am ruined.
♢
‘This is what I am asking.’
No matter how many times I call upon and ask Craig Ferguson, he did not acquiesce.
I had shaved my moustache which had become mixed with grey hair today, so the wind was irritating.
As a commoner, Julia and I, a duke’s son, cannot get married easily. I do not have the time or patience to solve it.
The quickest way is to get Julia adopted by a titled family. If she gets adopted, all the troublesome hurdles disappear. Being kin to a Duke is something of great privilege. So I had chosen Earl Ferguson who resided in remote region, but he stubbornly misunderstands me.
Am I being despised because I have not succeeded the Duchy?
How annoying.
‘I know what you are thinking because everything is writ on your face. I refuse.’
Earl Ferguson rose from the seat without touching the tea that had being served for him.
‘Wait! I do not care what others say; Julia is my fated sweetheart. It would be an honour for you to adopt her.’
‘I think you are misunderstanding something. I have not pledged loyalty to you or the Duke for you to behave in such a high handed manner. It is rather troubling not to mention honour. Let me give some one piece of advice; even in small things, one should have self respect.’
With that Earl Ferguson left the room.
What the heck is that? So annoying.
I rolled up the adoption documents and threw them away. (Zuben: a case of someone not knowing what they are doing wrong. There’s a lot of going on these days)
♢
When I feel unhappy, I go and see Julia’s face.
Julia is living in a house I own separate from my family’s. Julia is usually fine but I don’t know when things will change so I have hired a guard and taken every possible precaution for Julia’s safety. (Zuben: like holding her hostage?)
‘Is she the same?’ I asked as I walked into the residence.
‘Welcome back, Lord Eugene.’ The butler replied, ‘there had been no changes but…’ he wanted to say more but we can discuss it later. I want to see her face quickly. I rushed to her room.
I burst in and called her name, ‘Julia!’
Julia exclaimed, ‘Huh!’
‘Ah…it’s you, Eugene-sama.’
She had been resting on a couch where she had woken up in a panic, but she gave a sigh once she saw me.
What is the matter? What is tormenting you, Julia? (Zuben: you, maybe) I felt tightness in my chest and at the same time frustration; unhappy Julia is also very beautiful.
‘I’m sorry I interrupted your rest, I just really wanted to see you.’ I said to Julia as I sat next to her. She quickly got up and made space for me by shifting her hips. She made it easier for me to sit beside her. I fixed her skirts a little and held her long fingers which were not so delicate. (Zuben: Does she have ‘man hands’?)
‘There is no inconvenience; I will do anything for Julia.’
‘…I want to do home.’ She said.
‘That’s fine, we would go and greet your parents.’
‘It’s not like that. You already know, don’t you?’
Ah Julia! Scratching your wild hair; why do you want to enchant me so much?! (Zuben: Facepaml)
‘I am sorry I have been deceiving you, but don’t you think it’s abnormal that I am taller than you? I really can’t do this anymore.’
So Julia was taller than I am. But I am still growing, and I wasn’t a narrow minded man who was bothered about his woman being taller than he is. As long as it is Julia, I am confident of her love. What is impossible here? (Zuben: See what he wants to see, hearing what he wants to hear)
But it bothered Julia, I will try to banish her concerns with all my power!’
‘Are you worried about such a thing, my love? I will make efforts to grow taller, there is still time for me to grow and I will be taller than you soon.’ I said with a smile to make her feel secure. Julia face planted her flowery face into the sofa cushion and writhed. I am so happy to be born a man. (Zuben: What a dunce)
♢
I know its yaoi but it suited - Pintrest
49 Invitation Card and Bathing:
‘Ah? Are you sure it is for me?’ I said in amazement
It must be some sort of mistake, I thought as I looked at the white envelope in my hands.
‘It is for you. I brought it directly from Stefan.’ Volker said from his changing room.
It must be for me.
I opened the envelope hurriedly; inside was an invitation card and a note.
Please come to Priscilla’s birthday party.
It was in a powerful scrawl. It suited Prince Stefan.
‘Volker! I have been invited to a birthday party!’
It is the first birthday party I have ever been invited to that wasn’t family. I have been invited to a birthday that isn’t family!
Volker came from behind and hugged me. He was wearing a casual shirt.
‘Stefan is also going to be there, so I can’t escort you to the venue.’
He kissed my head, ‘Have you taken a bath?’
Please do not judge based on the smell of my hair.
‘I have. You said you were going to be late, so I went in earlier.’
I usually wait for Volker but whenever we bathe together, there is a certain trend and it has become rather serious. Very very serious! So I started to break the flow.
‘…there is no need, and I will enter later.’
Hey, don’t you want to get rid of the sweat after work? I would want to take a relaxing bath to get rid of the stress of the day! And that is another thing-
Yes- let’s just change the subject. Mō!
‘I wonder if I can be among such honourable guests.’
Even though I am now Volker’s wife, I am still the daughter of the reputedly gauche nouveau riche Viscount who was jilted by a Duke’s heir. My reputation is still not good in the eyes of the nobility, I haven’t worked hard enough. I hope I would not bring down Priscillsama’s reputation, and I hope my presence would not be like a splash of cold water on your auspicious day.
Volker lifted me gently and placed me on his thighs as he sat on a sofa. He gave me a kiss on his cheek.
‘You care about others’ thoughts too much. Priscilla and Stefan have invited you; it would be disrespectful of them not to go. What is shameful in celebrating with people who want you there?’
‘You’re my wife, Fredericka and I am proud of you, so it’s okay. I am not ashamed of you, no matter where we are.’
He dropped many kissed on my face. I am so happy. He always knew the right gentle words to say; a wonderful husband.
‘Volker, I love you.’ I said and I gave him a kiss on his cheek.
‘If so, kiss here,’ he said taking my hands to his lips, ‘not my cheek. Would you mind taking a bath again?’
He licked my finger…so erotic!
If you look at me with such heated eyes, I will be weak.
I already love you, but what will become of me! I don’t want to do it because I end up being dizzy and unwell everytime! That’s why I am doing my best to reduce our baths together! (Zuben: But the more you do it, the quicker you get used to it)
I took my hand off Volker’s lips and sat up. Volker’s eyes widened. (Zuben: this line was Volker’s eyes made black and white! I mean what the hell, what is wrong with his eyes widened; succinct and straight to the point. And they say English is convoluted.)
‘Fredericka?’
I felt a little sorry for breaking the sweet atmosphere and lowered my eyes,
‘A bath! You need to take a bath, Volker!’
‘Even if I go now…’ he said with a little whine implying that he wanted to be a bit more messy, my face got red.
I rushed to Volker’s bathroom and took a bathing towel and announced, ‘I will wash your back!’
Was I really going to wash Volker’s back? Well I tied my hair up, and tied up my nightgown so I don’t get wet.
And waited for Volker in the bathroom.
I don’t know whether it was coincidence or deliberate but as Volker washed, my night clothes got soaked in a blink of an eye.
Then Volker said, ‘You’ll get cold if you don’t take off your wet things.,’ and whipped my clothes off. (Zuben: hehehehehe)
Then it was strange to be wearing only panties in the bathroom and he took them off too.
‘Now let’s wash your back,’ he said and I was attacked with his soapy hands.
‘Volker, don’t do that suddenly.’
I covered my body but I could not avoid Volker’s soapy hands rubbing my body.
‘N ~ ya~a, I’ve already bathed…oh’
Volker’s big hands stroked me over and over. I could sense the Volker’s desire as his washing became gentle strokes, so I wriggled about.
‘Don’t move,’ he said, ‘It would be dangerous if you slipped.’
His hands slid to my front and stroked up my sides. I began to feel frustrated at the loose stimulation his touches were invoking. He usually lifted my breasts from the bottom up but he did not do that. My body that was used to Volker was anticipating the coming stimulus, and I’m reacting without control.
‘Ah, fu~u~n’
I can’t do anything although the hand body I want touch is right behind me, I wanted him to touch me more.
‘N~ ah! Volker…’ I cried.
When his big hand brushed along my navel and swept down to my pelvis, I thought, oh finally! I felt both relief and my body trembling with anticipation. But Volker only stroked between my legs once, he stroked down my legs. Then he rinsed me off and handed me a towel with more soap and said,
‘Do the rest.’
‘Eh?’
‘Don’t you want to soak in the bath?’
…
What was I expecting? I took the wash towel from Volker and scrubbed myself harder than usual.
‘Isn’t that a little harsh, Fredericka?’
‘…Is it?’
The unfamiliar washing ended and we soaked in the large bathtub. It is a very large bathtub to fit Volker’s size. I sat between Volker’s legs as usual, but I am still hesitant to sit face to face, so I sit with my back to his chest.
This gives Volker the leeway to tease the nape of my neck with kisses and touching. Usually. But today, he just hugged me and occasionally stroked my thighs and arms and waist. (Zuben: feeling unsatisfied?)
Eh?
Volker…are you being conceited? (Zuben: I spent all day on this line. It gave me a headache. So I went to clean my bedroom fan came back and cracked it)
But it is useless! It will not happen! We will not do it in the bath!
Volker’s hand stroked my inner thigh with clear intentions and touched me. I stopped him.
‘Fredericka…?’
‘I’ll get dizzy.’ I said as I tried to stand, but I was stopped by a strong arm. It is no good, I really didn’t want to get dizzy, but I was turned to face him.
‘I’ll make sure you don’t faint.’ He said as he ran his tongue over my groin. My skin broke out in goosebumps.
‘E…~an.’ I was surprised to find out my skin was so sensitive. And as usual inner part is sensitised and craving attention.
‘Wait-ah~ Volker…don’t ~nn’ I moaned as Volker buried his face between my legs and stretched out his tongue to my secret place.
I was hit by a fiery sensation. I moaned loudly. My legs began to shake and I could not bear my weight.
‘Sit on the edge.’ Volker said. He helped me to sit and parted my legs; placing his large body between them. Although I was happy my sense of stability improved, but I had no time to think about it because, Volker immediately returned to licking me even more deeply.
‘A~! Yā ~! A~a,…~!!
The sound of rippling hot water mixed with the sound of Volker licking me. Volker’s tongue slid over the secret nucleus and then he sucked on it. Noooo, this is embarrassing!
No no! My head was getting foggy, but Volker was relentless; he peeled back the skin and sucked on the sensitive secret nucleus; stimulating and pressing it with his tongue. I could not stand it and I screamed.
‘Ya~a ā a~’
An intense pleasure ran through my soul and stabbed my brain, at the same time something leaked from between my legs. Oh, I was completely had…so embarrassing. So careless in the bath, but it was useless because of Volker. I wanted to complain more, but my head was dense and everything went black.
When I came to I was lying on the bed.
Volker was applying a cold towel on my forehead; although he looked worried, he also looked somewhat happy. Was I able to keep it from happening after all?
This is why I was reluctant.
Xavier came to call Volker away for some urgent matter but I pretended to be asleep as revenge. When Volker returned to bed I did not turn even though he called my name.
I am very mad at him!
50 Birthday Battlefield!:
Wuaaaa!
I have intruded upon the Erschlen manor many times in the recent months, but I am particularly excited today! It is the birthday of the pearl in her father’s hand; Priscilla Erschlen, the future Crown Princess.
The crème of Society have been invited and their glittering appearance rivals a ball at the Royal Palace.
The ballroom and adjacent areas have been decorated with beautiful flowers in beautiful vases. Ornaments and picture frames gleamed in the light. They are so pretty, I feel very amazed.
Back in the Castley Manor, the decorations aren’t very expensive – for now. My parents patronised many unknown artists; they may be popular in the future, but for now they are there because the art was liked by my parents.
The Brennan house is currently decorated with armours and weaponry, but my aim is for our home to have a warm and cosy atmosphere.
I was led by the butler I was now familiar with to the ballroom. I was very nervous. It is only after becoming Volker’s wife that I could be invited to such a glamorous ball. I had thought I could be a failure before, but it is different now! Anything I do would be a reflection on Volker, I have to brace myself and behave exemplarily! Once you are married, you have to behave responsibly in respect to the other party. I feel anticipation.
I wore a happy smile careful not to show my tension as I head towards Priscilla to greet her.
I had brought a gift; earrings custom-made by Kalome. I had asked the designer to create them in Priscillneesama’s image. The design was simple and the earrings could be worn in everyday circumstances, but I intended to express Priscilla’s dignity and beauty. I hope she would be pleased.
‘Fredericka, you’re here!’ Priscilla said excitedly when she saw me. The guests around her reacted with surprise.
‘Happy Birthday, Lady Priscilla.’ I said when I reached her. Priscilla opened her arms and I hugged her albeit awkwardly mindful of the eyes of the guests around us. I decided to ignore them and handed her the present I had brought for her. As soon as she received it, Priscilla opened the gift’s wrapping and opened the box. Her face lit up when she opened the box.
‘Fredericka, they’re lovely! I’m so happy.’ She said as she gave me a bigger hug. I am so happy! This is what it was like to have friends.
‘That’s enough you two.’ Lutina and Mariel came over glasses of champagne in hand, Mariel handed me a glass,
‘Here you go.’ She said.
They turned to admire the gift, ‘This is from Kalome! As expected the workmanship and design is exquisite.’
‘Frederica’s idea is alive!’
Delfina and Silvia came to join us and it became a gay and gorgeous atmosphere all at once.
The children of the orphanage we visit regularly had been invited. They wished Priscilla happy birthday and sang songs.
As they sang, I was still holding hands with Priscilla.
‘Aren’t they cute?!’ we exclaimed excitedly.
I’m sorry but I am really enjoying my place beside the leading lady Priscilla. I glanced at her; she was smiling broadly and her cheeks had a happy flush.
While Priscilla’s usual dignified appearance is nice, but the soft expression of Priscilla right now is really nice; she was as pretty as a picture.
‘Priscilla, will you welcome me more enthusiastically?’ a male voice said from behind us. We turned to see Prince Stefan behind us. Escorting him was Volker and another Knight who had a very stubborn face for some reason; I’m at work I have a tough face.
Is he annoyed because I am too carefree? (Zuben: What is his business?)
I shrugged and turned to Volker. He gave me a slight smile. Can you be taking your eyes off your subject, Volker?
‘Stefan!’ Priscilla smiled and went to his side. The two of them side by side; really suited each other.
We and the guests looked on at the two beautiful people and sighed. But we heard some quarrelsome voices.
‘Stop sticking to me so much, I am not able to walk. I can walk by myself. Keep away.’
‘Why are you saying that? This is how a man escorts a woman. Don’t be shy.’
‘It’s alright. Stay away.’
Lord Eugene…
The elegant Eugene and the beautiful orange haired Julia came into view.
‘Happy Birthday, Lady Priscilla.’ Eugene said with laughter. Julia next to him muttered, ‘Congratulations,’ and lowered her head. She looked awkward.
I had intended to hide my presence but my movement must have caught Eugene’s attention and he turned to me.
‘Miss Fredericka, how is it possible for you to be here amongst such esteemed guests such as these? You’re an eyesore. Leave!’
Wow. As usual it is fully open. (Zuben: What…?)
Honestly, I don’t think that it is appropriate to say such a thing.
I curtsied deeply and tried to leave but my arm was grabbed.
‘Do not leave, Fredericka.’ Priscilla said sharply as she frowned at Eugene.
‘Fredericksama is a guest I personally invited and is also my younger sister and friend. Do you not think you are being rude?’ she said, her amethyst eyes burning in anger. I was touched by the beauty of those eyes and the beauty of Priscilla’s heart.
‘Oh dear, it seems it is my turn…’ a large warm hand held my other hand. I realised I was about to cry and tried to keep myself from doing so.
‘Priscillsama is wonderful. If I was a man I would ask for your hand in marriage even if I have to fight against Prince Stefan.’ (Zuben: Is this the time?)
‘Please stop saying that!’ Volker and Prince Stefan both said at the same time.
I wanted to laugh.
‘What! How rude to talk to a guest that has come to by your invitation. You’re just a woman who is lucky to be in this position.
Gya! Such a thing…my spine froze hearing his words; how could you say such a thing to Priscillsama, the future queen? It wasn’t like the she was the daughter of a lower house. (Zuben: He really doesn’t know what is doing him)
There was a collective gasp from the guests and whispering. Eugene’s attitude had really caught everyone’s attention.
‘An insult to my fiancée is an insult to me; in essence, it is an insult to the royal family.’ Stefan said as he stepped between Priscilla and Eugene.
Eugene paled and stepped back, he seemed a little frightened of the majestic Crown Prince.
‘I-Insulting the royal family?! Such a thought never entered my head.’ Eugene said nervously, ‘It’s just because that woman is an eyesore…’ he continued on. The Volker stepped forward,
‘But you keep insulting my wife and that cannot be overlooked. Eugene Cajés, I hope you are prepared.’
A murmur went through the crowd; would Eugene be killed?
Just give a semblance of courtesy and apologise!
But Eugene gave a cocky smile and said, ‘General Brennan, you can’t throw away your position by harming a Duke’s heir for a woman.’
How could he not read the atmosphere? Why was he pouring oil on fire? The guest muttered amongst themselves. They collectively took a wary step back.
Oh no, Priscilla’s birthday party is being ruined. I looked at Priscilla and Prince Stefan in distress. The two of them were wound up,
‘Do it!’
‘Beat him till his has no skin left.’ (Zuben: Wow! Bloodthirsty!)
Was this a battlefield? These two are usually dependable and nice. Tears began to fall.
‘What would you like to bet on? I will resign from my position as General; shall we duel after that?’ Volker said deadpan. (Zuben: gasp)
Everyone went frozen at Volker’s remark. To leave the General’s position…to-to quit?!
‘Brennan, not that!’ Stefan said in a fluster, but Volker unbuckled his sword belt and handed the sword to the Prince. There were gasps of, ‘Is he really serious about returned the Sword of Appointed Duty?’
‘Oh my gosh!’ (Zuben: OMG indeed. Not the sword of appointed duty or whatever it truly means)
The Prince held the blue sword in his hand in a state of surprise.
Oh Volker. No, please!
I wanted to say it but I could not; my voice seemed to be caught in my throat.
Someone was patting my back. I realised I was shaking.
‘Fredericksama, get a hold of yourself.’
‘It will be alright.’
Thank you, everyone who is trying to cheer me up.
‘If so, I will bet my Dukedom; I do not need anything as long as I have Julia.’ Eugene said. (Zuben: What a dingbat)
Even if you bet…everyone probably thought but could not say it out loud. Was Eugene this kind of person? (Zuben: Were you all blinded by his dukedom?)
Just when I thought the collision of Eugene (Zuben: a baby) and Volker (Zuben: A man who should know better) was inevitable, a loud voice cut through the tension.
‘I am sorry; I do not need a man who doesn’t know when to back down and picks fights he would lose!’
Miss Julia?
‘You have a bad reputation, no morals and you are hated by your subjects. You have nothing but your face, money and status. I am not getting married to you. We are through! The clothes and jewels I will keep as consolation.’
With that she picked up her skirts and ran out of the Erschlen ballroom like a rabbit.
Eh?
‘Ju-Julia?’ Eugene who had been startled into shock finally reacted but Julia was gone; only the path that had been opened for her remained.
The Duke of Cajés who had been chatting in another room came into the ballroom to find his son in such a state.
‘Eugene, what have you done…?’ The Duke said pulling Eugene’s arm, but Eugene slumped to the floor.
‘Duke of Cajés…’ Prince Stefan tried to calm the Duke who was shouting at his son.
‘What were you planning on doing after you messed up Lady Priscilla’s ball?’ he roared. The skin around his eyes was tight and his face was pale. But no one could say anything, the silence just got deeper.
‘I please accept my deepest apologies…’ the Duke of Cajés said. But his hands clearly expressed his inner heart; they were clenched so tightly in rage that they were white.
What should I do? What should I do?
What was the best way?’
Different thoughts ran through my head; appearing and disappearing – mixed and muddy…no good. This stupid thinking is like resting.
Ok, this is a power technique. Here I go!
‘Yes! Thank you everyone!’ I said in a loud voice while clapping. Everyone was looking at me strangely.
Cold sweat ran down my back.
‘Fredericka?’ Volker called my name, puzzled. Oh, my husband! With desperate raise of my eyebrows I somehow communicated with him.
‘Were you surprised, Lady Priscilla? Thank you very much for your cooperation, Duke Cajés and Eugene.’
Priscilla blinked and stared at me, ‘Fredericka, what are you…?’
Volker, Prince Stefan, you may be wondering what is going on but please go along with me.
‘The improbable scenario caused the feeling of walking on a tightrope. Was everyone afraid?’
Prince Stefan began to smile and folded his arms.
Yes, it is a poorly thought of scenario and I will be teased about it later. But this is all I have got and I am willing to accept it.
Lady Priscilla, the protagonist, put on a broad glossy smile, ‘Well, I was deceived completely. You’re very bad, Duke Cajés; I was not prepared for such a surprise.’
The guest were surprised and confused, but soon accepted it;
‘Her hobby is slightly bad but it’s okay.’ And they gave me overall understanding.
‘No, that…well…’ The Duke Cajés could not conceal his puzzlement, but he asked for one of the Knights assistance to pull Eugene upright. He was in a daze, mumbling.
I don’t know what to say…pardon me.
‘Julia…Julia…’ Eugene called out her name in a daze, his gaze was unfocused.
‘My son seems to have gone too deep into his “role”…please excuse us.’ Duke Cajes said to Priscilla. He bowed to Priscilla and Prince Stefan and left the ball.
Immediately, the servants were serving champagne to the guests. (Zuben: If all else fails, get them drunk) The orchestra played cheerful music. There was a flower petal shower; the guests began to dance and smile. Cheers were raised. The memory of the bad ‘skit’ soon passed from everyone’s mind.
I stood in the flower snow and thought that the Duchy Erschlen was amazing. There was a tug on my shoulder.
‘Are you relieved…?’ Volker murmured into my ear as he hugged my waist and made me lean back.
‘Content about a three-penny play?’
‘…I fell in love.’ He said before he gave me a kiss on my temple. I turned to look at him, but I caught the gaze of Prince Stefan and Priscilla. He had that bad smile on his face.
‘Volker, you should return to the Prince’s side!’ I said a bit embarrassed.
Because I was flustered, I pushed Volker away. But that is my charm, isn’t it? (Zuben: If you say so)
51 Passing of the Storm and Confessions:
After that, things got very exciting.
The Duke Erschlen and Priscilla spoke to their guests and there were fireworks and the ball concluded.
As I made to return home, the Erschlen butler came to call me. I was guided to a drawing room where Lady Priscilla, Prince Stefan, Volker and his Knights, Delfina, Mariel, Lutina, Sylvia and the Duke and Duchess Erschlen were sitting. Did something happen??
‘Ah um…’
‘Fredericsama, we have prepared for various things today…’ Delfina began. That’s right, they had been prepared for a memorable birthday party for Priscilla but Eugene and I made a mess of it…
I realised I had done something serious again. It is a good thing that my annoying self would no longer be friends with you isn’t it?
‘I apologise for the inconvenience caused. It was only for a short while but it was fun. Thank you for being friends.’ I said solemnly and finished with a curtsey. I could only apologise, it wasn’t like I could repay them.
‘Huh? What are you talking about?’ Delfina said hurrying over to hold my hands.
Eh? What are you rushing over for? Volker and Prince Stefan had wry smiles on their faces.
‘Fredericka, you’re getting ahead of yourself.’ Sylvia said with a sigh, ‘What we had been preparing was condemnation of Eugene and his lover, Julia.’
In essence, Delfina and the others knew that Eugene would take an arrogant attitude when he saw me at the ball. They had gathered evidence and arranged for witnesses to persecute Eugene. They had just been waiting for the right moment.
Why would they have done such a thing? Certainly Eugene’s behaviour may have been shocking, but none of them were directly insulted, perhaps it became unpleasant.
‘Don’t you understand?’ Delfina stamped her foot with impatient.
‘We wanted revenge because he hurt our important friend.’ Mariel and Lutina said.
Priscilla smiled and said, ‘Fredericka does not understand because you place more importance on you loved ones than yourself.’
‘That’s why we want to spoil Fredericka as well.’
‘Isn’t that so, General Brennan?’ Sylvia said with a teasing glance at him. Volker got a little red and coughed.
Hō o o~o ō! Oh my!
I-I can’t believe this…it is a miracle? I want to cry!
But to use Priscilla’s birthday like this. It should be a day of happiness not embarrassment. I’m puzzled.
Lutina seemed to know what I was thinking and raised an index finger, ‘Priscilla said “I do not want to borrow the chest of others to fight Fredericka’s enemies.” We knew he would definitely attend the birthday of a Duke’s daughter.’
Joy overflowed in my chest.
Priscillsama is such a compassionate person; I will follow you for a lifetime!
Even in the afterlife, I want you to be my sister. When I reincarnate, I want to be born a man and defend Priscilla…!
Actually even if I am not a man…
I caught the eye of Prince Stefan, he shook his head as if to say “You better not say it!” Volker looked despaired, his expression saying “Fredericka, don’t tell me you like Priscilla better than me? I will appeal with all my might!” (Zuben: Poor Volker, your wifey’s head is not filled with you)
It’s alright…
‘I would like to know,’ the Duke Erschlen who quietly asked, ‘why did you help Duke Cajes?’ (Zuben: I would like to know that too.)
I sat up straight. Surely, it would seem strange especially with the strange rumours about me and Eugene.
‘I understand the feeling of not wanting to overblow things, but if you think of the treatment you have received, it would be nice to stomp that misguided man’s head.’
Wow, Duke Erschlen is pretty ferocious! As expected of Priscilla’s father. (Zuben: I think your daddy will cry if he heard that)
‘I think we could have defeated Duke Cajes and Eugene in one fell swoop in that moment.’
We could have defeated the, but I didn’t want to fix it strangely in front of people who cared about me.
I really don’t want to tell the truth because it would reveal my true nature.
‘Eugene had been truly crushed when Julia fled the scene, I thought it was better to do the Duke a favour and be kind to him than humiliate him even more before all those people.’
One doesn’t know what this kind of person could do if they run amok, and that Duke is rotten to the core. Such a kindness could be insurance for a while, in the form that anyone could understand.
‘I’m not good at being barbaric.’
It’s smart isn’t it? (Zuben: In and amongst that crying and fretting was calculation? I must have missed a great deal of something)
There was no sound in the room, not even of rustling fabric. (Zuben: She must have said it all out loud)
They must be amazed by my cruel nature.
Like a cabbage cooked with salt, my body shrunk. But the Duke Erschlen was unable to endure it; he burst out laughing, ‘To have something to hold over that racoon, that is a pleasant idea!’
‘If you think about the future, that’s the right course of action.’
The Duchess was holding her hand over her mouth and laughing.
It’s not terrible?
I looked was shocked to see everyone smiling at me.
Eh…
Delfina hugged me as she laughed, unable to say anything due to laughter. Priscilla, Sylvia, Mariel and Lutina joined in too.
Let’s just be relieved that no one thinks I am cruel.
♢
A few days later, I was walking about our garden with Volker who was off work, when Xavier came to announce a visitor,
‘There is someone here to see you, Madam.’
I tilted my head, I hadn’t been promised a visit by anyone.
‘To see Fredericka? Who are they?’ Volker asked frowning.
Actually, after the ball, people who were seeking to some way to deal with Duke Cajés have been visiting. Such people, Xavier makes them pay for admission. It is not the case this time.
‘His name is Julius and he is a very beautiful young man.’
Volker’s frown got even deeper. I asked Xavier to bring the visitor to the garden sitting area. Volker and I went over and waited.
‘I don’t know a Julius.’ I told Volker. But I may have met a Julius but forgotten. I grasped Volker’s big hand and said, ‘Please, don’t let me go.’
The visitor appeared shortly after following Xavier. He was wearing a white shirt and dark vest and slim trousers over his lithe body. His gold hair was cut short and his eyes were gold.
‘Thank you for seeing me.’ He said with a bow. His voice was slightly high pitched for an adult male,
‘Please have a seat,’ I said.
He took the garden chair before Volker and me.
Xavier quickly brought tea and refreshments for our guest. Julius looked longingly at the tea and cakes before him. Had he sensed that Volker is the kind of person who pays back?
‘It’s nice to meet you…’Julius said, he gave a wry smile, ‘I wonder if I can say that.’
I could tell he was nervous.
‘It’s alright. It is kind of you to visit.’ I said as I offered tea, but he shook his head stubbornly.
‘I have done terrible things to you, so I thought I should apologise.’
Volker’s hand twitched but I held on tightly.
‘But at the time, I was thinking that it would be better if you were jilted than have a hard time married to that family.’
My mouth dropped and Volker’s eyes narrowed at the golden haired person,
‘You’re Julia?’ he asked harshly.
Julius nodded solemnly.
♢
52 Confession:
‘I am from Jiu village,’
‘Jiu village was in the mountains between the Duke Cajés lands and State-owned land,’ I told Volker.
Julius nodded and continued, ‘There are few arable land and it is difficult to grow crops, so all of our people are poor. Because of this, we do temporary service to the Duke as indentured servants instead of paying taxes.’ As he spoke, his hands were clenched and his lips were thin, he looked like he was remembering something painful.
‘Even though everyone worked hard, the Duke would withhold food if anyone of us fails. It doesn’t matter if they are man, woman or child. So the people of our village are small and emaciated.’
Even though he was slender, Julius looked healthy and taller. After coming to the kingdom and spending time as Julia under Eugene’s care eating good food, his body grew.
‘Two years ago, when I first got engaged to Eugene, I came to the Duke’s land near Jiu village, were you there then?’
Julius gave a small nod.
At that time I had still been excited about marrying Eugene, but I soon realised his true nature.
‘I was at the manor to my indenture; we received a lot of bread in celebration of the engagement and your arrival.’
Oh yeah…
Volker turned to me and muttered, ‘Bread?’ Yes, a common thing like bread wasn’t common in Jiu, it was surprising. The Duke Cajés was laughing at my father at that time calling father, “A bad man with too much money”
‘Even though the Duke gets so much food, we aren’t allowed to partake in it. The food often spoils, but he prefers to throw it away than provide for his servants. But he gave us that bread.’
Julius had been amazed to eat soft bread that didn’t need to be immersed in thin tasteless soup. He ate heartily for a long time.
That was good; I had thought it weird at the time to send bread. But father had replied lazily, ‘Is there anyone who doesn’t like bread?”
And I thought about the food circumstances in the Duke’s territory and the character of Duke Cajés, it was probably the best thing to reach the people properly. Afterwards, shops selling “Castley Pan(lol)” (Zuben: Not me) opened in the small villages in the territory. Father had thought thoroughly!
Even after Eugene jilted me and we cancelled the engagement contract, Father had continued to provide cheap bread to the impoverished towns and villages.
I asked father why he was doing this, he replied, “Hmm? You would have an easier time if you grab the stomach of the citizens when you want to leave the Duke, don’t you think?” I could not judge whether father was joking or not. Father…
‘And then I met Fredericksama…’
Eh? Did we?
I’m sorry, but I don’t remember…
‘You forced a small jar of jam into my hands, you told me “I just have one, I’m sorry”’
‘Ah…’ I remember.
I had given a small bottle of jam that I had put in my pocket to lick when I was bored to a little girl who was near me.
That cute little girl was Julius?!
‘We did meet…’
Julius laughed, ‘I was really small; my friends always joked that I looked like a girl. But I was glad for it at that time, the jam was shared with everyone and was soon gone, but that small bottle I have always kept it…’
Julius’ eyes narrowed.
‘I had heard Eugene talking to his friends about his treatment of you. I spoke to my friends about it, and they said “Why don’t you dress up as a girl and try and coerce Eugene?” It seemed like a good idea at the time.’
Everyone cooperated with the aim that we were doing the right thing.
‘It was easy to wear a dress and put on light makeup. My hair was already long because I was going to sell it. I had tried to dye my hair red but it came out an impossible orange instead.’
‘I approached him boldly, and he was easily caught because I was his “ideal woman”. I did not have a visible bust.’ Julius said with laugh.
Eugene’s ideal was not feminine, it was masculine. I gave a sigh.
‘After Eugene broke up with you at the ball, I should have left at that time, but circumstances went out of my control.’
Julius looked at me directly for a moment before dropping his eyes again. I wondered what had happened, for his mouth became glum and be heaved a heavy sigh,
‘I became under house arrest,’ he said lightly. It was ridiculous. (Zuben: Wow possessive-much)
‘I could not get in touch with my friends, and then the strange rumours started going round…It was my friends that did that. I’m sorry.’
Ah, the weird messengers! Volker nodded.
‘I’m also sorry about what happened at the theatre. I was being taken about by Eugene. While he was talking to an acquaintance, I heard that you would be coming. I thought I might be able to talk to you, but then you appeared on the arm of the General. You looked beautiful and really happy…’
Julius didn’t add that he hated me in that moment.
That is fair. If it had been me, who had to pretend in such a way to save someone, and the person appeared seemingly carefree, even if they did not know, I would want to shout at them as well.
I wanted to apologise. As I leaned forward to do so, Volker stopped me. Why? He shook his head.
Why shouldn’t I apologise?
Right, I shouldn’t apologise…
‘Julius,’ I called as I leaned over the table and grasped his hands, ‘Thank you for doing your best for my sake. Thanks to you, I married Volker and I am very happy.’
Julius sniffed making his shoulders bounce. His fallen face looked up at me,
‘You’re happy now?’
‘Yes, I am very happy.’ I gave him a bright smile. If Julius hadn’t helped me, I could not be here. Thank you so much, Julius.
(Zuben: Julius, were you hoping to marry the rich girl ¬.¬)
Unexpectedly, Julius’ eyes got wet and beautiful tears ran down his eyes,
‘I am happy that you’re happy.’
It seemed that he felt it was worth the effort, and he laughed as he wiped away the tears.
53 These days Cinderella does not drop her shoe:
Julius drank a cup of the cooled tea and bid us farewell.
His eyes were red and he looked like a rabbit, but it was very impressive to have refreshing face. (Zuben: I always wonder what having a refreshing face means)
‘It is because of Julius, I can be next to you.’
Xavier was replenishing the tea. He poured fresh cups from Volker and me.
‘Yes, he should laud him as the brave man who saved the crisis of the survival of the Brennan family.’ Xavier said. He turned to towards the front of the house and stared profoundly into the distance, ‘Yes, let us pass this down forever.’
Volker spat out his tea with a 『bufu!』
What was in the pot of tea?
Xavier smiled and walked back into the house. I handed a handkerchief to Volker who coughed and I patted his back. He waved me off.
‘Do you understand what he meant?’ Volker asked after catching his breath. Hm? What is this aura?
‘Um, you mean about Julius?’
The flow of the story is perfect, isn’t it? Or maybe you should explain what else is there?
‘To tell the story to our grandchildren; is that what he meant?’
Volker lifted me up as he does, and put be on his knee. He leaned close to my ears and whispered,
‘First of all, shouldn’t there be children before grandchildren?’
Ah…? That baritone reverberated through my bones. But Volker, it’s still daylight, do you want to do that?!
‘Yes…that’s right! That’s true!’
It feels comfortable being on his knees like this.
‘Do you understand? Would you like to have children with me, Fredericka?’ he asked as his big hand stroked my back and flank. Volker, your hands are moving naughtily.
‘I do want us to have children…Volker…outside is a little troubling…’
The gradually increasing pressure underneath my buttocks was becoming too hot to ignore, I feel a responding 『ki ~yu~u~u』 in my body.
♢
As a result of being loved until I lost my mind, without showing my face at the dinner table, I gave birth the following year to a daunting baby girl that was quite like her father.
Two years after, I gave birth to twin boys. Everyday is lively and busy.
‘Moommy, please read it to me!’ My daughter Bianca, who had been running around the garden till her cheeks were red, handed me a picture book. It wasn’t one I remember buying.
‘What is it, Mistress?’ Marie asked as she settled the tea things on the garden table. She looked at the book in our hands, ‘That is a very popular picture book! I heard it is out of stock in all the book stores.’
‘I don’t remember buying it, do you think Volker did?
Since Bianca was born, we discovered that Volker loved children very much. The moment he laid eyes on Bianca, he became tearful and announced,
“I will never give her to anyone.”
Then he amazed everyone by saying, “Bianca is my favourite.”
I cried in the shadows after being told. My husband who is so absorbed with his daughter he will forget about his wife, yet I do not feel like leaving him. I wonder why…
‘Read, Mama, reaaad…’
‘Oh I’m sorry, Bianca.’
So I read the story for my daughter; there was a prince, a tortured hero whom the heroine met at the ball, losing her shoe, finding her… happy every after, it seems. It seems somehow familiar in places.
‘Doesn’t that sound familiar? Marie said.
What is that 『niyoniyo』 face?
I know what she wants to say but she must not affirm it!
‘No, it’s not familiar at all.’
‘Well, in Mistress’ case, you didn’t drop your sho…’
‘Shush!’ I said covering Marie’s mouth. Even Bianca can understand what panties are already, let’s not talk about strange things!
‘Did you drop bread?’ Bianca asked, she didn’t wait for a reply but ran off into the garden.
I am raising a good child who can read the air.
I rose from my seat, I wanted to check on the twins, but I accidently dropped the book. I picked it up to see that something was written in small print on the back of the hardcover in black ink: Happy if you are happy.
I sucked in breath at the familiar remark.
I turned about looking around the garden, but it is just Bianca and Marie playing.
Is it that you came without me seeing you? We do not have any contact anymore.
I took a deep breath and went to the babies’ room to look in on them.
“Happy if you are happy”
I smiled, I am very happy.
Extra 1 Heartrending Grief:
‘…this doesn’t mean anything…’ Marie tried to comfort me, but I could not confirm or deny it. I gave a vague laugh.
♢
Following his return from work, Volker gave me a present box; one from a specialty store.
‘Thank you,’ I said happily, surprised by the unexpected gift.
Volker had a relieved look on his face that seemed to say “I’m glad you’re happy”. He took of his jack and went to his study to work a bit.
‘To feed caught fish, the Master is sweet! You’re loved, Fredericksama!’ Marie said happily while poking me in the side.
‘Would you like to wear it this evening even if it is not your size?’ she asked as she began to open the box carefully.
I nodded; it would be nice to wear it tonight.
What if it is some weird design, though?!
This specialty store had items that catered to men’s shameful desire. No, I’m not implying that Volker is disgusting, but sometimes men have an unexpected hobby - no I’m not implying that Volker has a strange hobby…
Marie opened the package.
‘Marie, Volker is not like tha…’
Marie’s smile died out as soon as she saw the contents of the box. I had a bad feeling about it.
‘Fredericksama, this…’ she said as she pulled out the article, ‘…this is nothing…’
♢
We had dinner together, and then it was time for the evening bath. I was able to sit in the bath be myself because Volker was still busy.
As I dried off, I thought about my night clothes.
I wonder if I should wear that.
The present Volker bought was neither shameful nor perverted. It was a frumpy old lady night gown. It was a nightgown packed with plenty of wishes to cool the fire in one’s belly. The difference in design is to drastic compared to what I wore yesterday…but Volker picked it for me and bought it, maybe he really wants to cool things down.
I put on the nightdress. As I imagined, you can’t see the form of the body underneath the nightdress. And because I am short, I look like a child.
Is this it?
Does this imply that he isn’t interested in my body anymore?
Does this mean that he is no longer requesting the night business from me? How? Even though, Volker usually asks for it in an overwhelming manner. Even though we do it everyday; isn’t it too soon after being newlyweds for him to be bored? Is he cheating or something?
I left my dressing room and went to the Master bedroom. Volker was in bed reading documents, he looked up at the sound of me entering. His face stiffened.
‘Volker…?’
What wrong? Are you trembling in excitement? (Zuben: If he was, that would clear the weird perversion question wouldn’t it?)
‘Fredericka, why are you wearing it now?’
‘Eh…?’
Volker got out of bed, took my hand and led me back to my dressing room. He opened my wardrobe and picked out my usual night wear; a light purple babydoll.
‘When you wear this nightdress, you look like a fairy of violet flowers. I think it is very beautiful.’
Haa…
I took the baby doll from him, took of my granny nightgown and changed into the babydoll. It was a bit embarrassing to change in front of Volker, but I thought it would be strange to ask him to leave the room as I changed.
When I was done, Volker gave a satisfied nod and lifted me up and took me back to the master bedroom.
‘Volker, when do I have to wear that nightdress?’ I asked as I unbuttoned his nightshirt while his kissed my forehead and cheeks. I was curious as to why he bought it.
‘I want you to wear it in the morning.’
What kind of attention is that?
It seemed my thoughts were plain on my face and Volker smiled awkwardly.
‘When I wake up in the morning and see you in your sensuous nightgown, or if you’re naked – I don’t want to go to work. But with this nightgown, all I will see in the morning is just your face and limbs, so relatively it’s okay. I’m a bad guy, please understand me.’
Relatively?! It is not at all fine, relatively!
I wanted to retort but I got caught up in his loving caresses and I endured lovingly as well. (Zuben: Some days “enduring lovingly” sounds sweet, and other days it just sound like she don’t like it but because she loves him she lets him get on with it)
When I got up in the morning, I put on the nightdress and my stomach was not cold. While we were kissing, Volker said,
‘To some extent, your lush body is hidden in under the frumpy nightgown.’
Volker, please keep mutter that kind of thought inwardly!
The END!
♢