His hand was in mid-air about to knock on the door. He looked just as shocked to see me, as I was to see him.
He tried to pull himself together, running his hands through his hair, which he did when he was stressed. "Thalia," he said, his voice breaking.
He started again, "Thalia, can we talk? Please."
Staring into his eyes I knew I needed to talk to him, but nothing would change between us. He'd broken part of me with his mistrust.
"Let's go and sit in the forest." I turned back to Callie, who made the shooing motion with her hands, and then she turned, walking back upstairs.
Jack stepped back to allow me to precede him down the path. We walked towards the entrance to the forest in silence. Jack kept glancing over to me, but I refused to meet his eyes.
It had felt good to see him again even though it hurt like hell. When I saw him standing outside the door, my first instinct had been to throw my arms around him; I'd had to reign in the impulse. I still loved him, and it hurt so much being with him, but having to keep my distance.
Inside the forest, I walked slightly off the path so we would have some privacy. I turned to face him, the look on his face taking me aback. He was sorry, it was written all over his face.
"Thalia...I don't know where to start." He looked at me, lost for words.
"I know all about Rebecca...and I know Lewis' reasoning behind it all. Callie phoned Donovan and got it out of him," I told him, unable to keep the hurt out of my voice. "It doesn't change the fact that you didn't trust me. You automatically assumed what you'd been told was fact. You didn't ask me. You accused me. I can't get that out of my head."
"Thalia, please. I'm really sorry. I love you," he said trying to take hold of my hands, but I moved out of his reach. "I didn't think after Lewis dropped his bombshell. As far as I knew, you were the only one to have seen my tattoos and piercing. I didn't stop to think that someone else could have seen. God, baby I know I really fucked up, but please don't back away from me. I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you; just don't walk away from me, Thalia. I've looked for you for a long time. I don't want to lose you."
I knew what I wanted to do, but I was too hurt to take what was right in front of me. What was to say he wouldn't hurt me again? He'd done it once before, without thinking, he'd do it again.
"I love you too, Jack, but I don't know what I want or where I want to go from here...you crushed me earlier."
With a deep breath, I chanced a glance in his direction; tears shimmered on his face. Oh God. I wasn't sure I had the strength to walk away from him. He had my heart and I knew he probably always would. I tried to pull myself together, even though the track of my tears matched his.
Moving in closer to him I met his gaze. He knew. He knew what I was doing. I lifted my hands to his face and brushed his tears away, only for more to follow. I rose up on my toes, placed a gentle kiss to his lips, and whispered, "Goodbye." Then with all the strength I had, I turned and ran back to the inn, also in tears.
Chapter 61.
Jack I couldn't move as I watched the woman who held my heart run away from me after kissing me goodbye. Fuck. I stepped back and collapsed onto a fallen tree with my head in my hands while I cried like a fucking baby.
It was my fault. I'd been a bastard earlier and now I was paying the price. I'd lost her because I hadn't stop to think, which was what Liam had tried to get me to do. But I'd known best, and carried on regardless.
Yanking my t-shirt over my head, I wiped my eyes then my face and tried to pull myself together. I had no idea how long I'd been sitting in the forest, but I wasn't going to just sit back and let the woman I loved walk out of my life because I'd been a first class dick.
"You okay," Liam asked.
"How long have you been standing there?" I think I'd have to kill my brother if he'd seen me five minutes ago.
"A minute."
I raised an eyebrow.
"Seriously, I just arrived. Mia's gone over to the inn, begging Thalia and Callie to stay for the wedding. She really wants Thalia to be her bridesmaid."
My heart missed a beat. She wouldn't leave today with Mia on the case. Surely she wouldn't. I needed to come up with a plan to make her see how much I loved her. "I need your help," I said, jumping up from the tree with new purpose, startling Liam who'd been off in his own thoughts.
"Ah, I'm your brother remember? I've seen your plans in the past."
"For fuck's sake Liam, we were kids back then. This one has to work, because I'll be damned if I'm going to sit back and do nothing while Thalia walks out of my life."
"I'm still not sure about this, but I'll help, seeing as it was my fiancees father who screwed it all up in the first place."
"Well gee thanks. Not because you're my brother, huh!"
"No, you're an ass."
Ignoring Liam, I walked out of the forest and headed towards Kix; I needed a beer. I also needed to think through what I planned, because I sure as hell didn't want to screw anything else up. Once was more than enough in this lifetime.
Unsure about what to do about my screwed up relationship with Thalia, I hoped to drown my guilt in beer, but one thing I was sure about and that was having Thalia wear my ring. I loved her and was going to damn well fight for her. I'd screwed up big time. I sure as hell didn't want to do it again.
We pushed our way into Kix and found Donovan and Reece sitting at the bar, both sipping beer. They'd heard the door slam back into place; Reece turned and saw us, nudged Donovan.
"What happened?" Reece asked.
Sitting down at the bar next to him, I reached for the beer Suzie passed me, and downed it in one. I tapped the empty bottle on to the bar top, and then took another large drink of the new one Suzie passed me.
"That bad?"
"She said...goodbye." Shit my voice broke. I finished the second bottle off then reached for the third.
"Wow, bro. Take it easy." Liam grabbed my wrist.
I turned and scowled at him. "Mia wouldn't like you having a black eye in your wedding pictures."
He backed off slightly.
"Talking about wedding pictures...Mia admitted the real reason for getting rid of Rebecca as a bridesmaid. She did break her arm, so Mia used that as an excuse, but the truth was Rebecca, um, had a thing for you, and once or twice the things she came out with frightened Mia."
I nodded, taking another drink, and then remembered Reece and Callie. I turned to him, grinned, and asked, "So what does Dahlia think about you doing the horizontal with Callie?"
"Fuck," he whispered under his breath. "You really are looking for a fight."
"Callie is Thalia's friend. I don't want you screwing her over."
Donovan snickered. "Too late for that."
"Fuck. Get off my back. You're a bunch of fucking assholes," Reece shouted, storming out of the bar. The next minute we heard his bike start.
"What the hell." I looked to Donovan for an answer.
He shook his head, standing up. "He likes Callie more than what I think he'd like, and she likes him. That's why I stepped back. All I know is that Dahlia rang him first thing this morning when he was with Callie. He said she was awake when he took the call, and that he left without saying anything to her. Something's going on with Dahlia. He's not having sex with her. In fact I don't think he ever has, because he treats her like a sister. There's something between them, but now it's come between him and Callie, someone he really likes...Personally I think he's screwed it up. He should have at least spoken to her after Dahlia called him, but he didn't...I guess you've both fucked up today. Right now, you both make me thankful I don't have a girl...too much damn trouble. I'm outta here. I'll see you at the wedding."
I watched Donovan leave, finished my beer then got Liam to take me home, while I prayed I didn't screw anything else up.
Chapter 62.
Thalia Two days ago I never thought I'd ever be standing in Jack's house again. Mia had persuaded me to stay and act as her bridesmaid; she'd also explained the real reason behind getting rid of Rebecca, which was real creepy. No wonder Rebecca had asked Lewis to use my name. Get rid of me a clear the path to Jack.
Jack. Over the past couple of days I'd missed him like crazy. I'd missed his voice. I'd missed his body. I'd missed the look in his eyes when he'd look at me. I also couldn't forget how he looked when I'd told him goodbye. I'd broken his heart, like he did mine, and it made me feel worse than I already did.
In thirty minutes Mia and Liam would be saying their wedding vows with Jack standing for Liam, and me, the only bridesmaid for Mia. I had to walk back down the aisle with Jack after the vows had been said, which I was dreading. I wasn't sure I had it in me to walk beside him without touching him, or without breaking down in floods of tears.
I'd cried buckets. I'd even broken down on the phone speaking with my dad. He wanted to get the next plane down to me, but I wouldn't hear of it and I promised him and Mom that I'd go home next week. Dad had told me they were supposed to be flying to Hawaii, but he was going to get the flights altered and they'd go a week or two later, depending on what flights they could get. To say I was surprised was an understatement. I was shocked to hell.
I'd also come to the conclusion that although I'd been the one wronged, it was stupid to punish us both the way I was. I loved him. I loved him with all my heart and wanted him in my life if he still wanted me. Mia had laughed when I'd asked her if she thought he still wanted me.
After the wedding I planned on getting Jack on his own and telling him how much I missed him and still loved him. I just hoped I wasn't too late.
"Thalia, you look gorgeous," Mia told me coming back into the room. I was wearing the dress we'd picked out when I thought she was marrying Jack. My hair had been curled by the hairdresser, and had jeweled pins keeping it on top of my head, with some loose locks around my face and neck.
It was the first time I'd seen Mia in her wedding dress, and she was totally stunning. She'd admitted to Liam that the dress she'd chosen had been for him, and that it was the only way she could get through the ordeal. I think we'd all had tears in our eyes when she'd admitted that to him, Liam included.
Mia's dress was white lace with a fitted bodice that flared out from her hips. It was off the shoulders with short sleeves. She looked like a princess, and I couldn't wait to see Liam's face when he saw her. I just hoped I wasn't distracted with the best man.
"You are seriously going to have the groom's tongue on the floor. You look amazing. Is Donovan still giving you away?"
She grinned at me while shaking her head. "No. Not anymore. Daddy came to the house this morning and apologized. He said he just lost it when Liam abandoned me three years ago. He said he'd been thinking about little else these past few days and realized how crazy it all seemed. It was the first time I'd ever seen him embarrassed. He plans on apologizing to you, just so you're warned."
"Wow. What a hell of a week."
"Come on. I have a groom downstairs who might be starting to get a bit nervous if he doesn't see me soon." She grinned pulling me towards the door.
I laughed. "There is no way he'd ever think you'd changed your mind. Just no way."
As we walked down the hallway towards the stairs all that could be heard was the swish of our dresses as we walked, and the violin music coming from outside near the specially built gazebo where the wedding was taking place.
Butterflies were flying around in my stomach as we walked downstairs towards Mia's father, who was waiting at the bottom for his daughter. He saw me and looked nervous.
As he took hold of Mia's hand, he turned to look at me. "Thalia, I owe you a huge apology." He paused, gulped, looked out through the window then met my gaze again. "I wasn't myself, although there isn't really any excuse for the trouble I caused between you and Jack. I'm sorry, and I hope that we can put it behind us, especially today for my daughter's wedding."
He certainly sounded like he meant the apology. "Apology accepted." I held my hand out to him, which he took and shook gently.
"Thanks Dad. Now I have an appointment with my groom." Mia took her dad's elbow and dragged him towards the patio doors, then looked over her shoulder at me, winked, then asked, "You staying there?"
"Guess not," I mumbled.
Mia and her father walked out into the garden in front of me, so after they came to a stop, I slipped in front of them and waited for the music to start. My stomach quivered with nerves and excitement, and then hearing the music my legs carried me up the aisle.
Halfway up the aisle I worked the courage up to look at Jack, and when I did, I met his eyes that were so full of love for me. He was so handsome in his formal wedding suit; my knees felt weak and my panties were wet. I couldn't look away.
I took my place to the side, turned to wait for Mia, but still couldn't look away from Jack. I took Mia's flowers from her, and then turned towards the front, while I tried to get my emotions under control, because I was seconds away from blubbering.
Chapter 63.
Jack Standing next to my brother, my eyes were only for Thalia as she walked down the aisle towards us. She nearly brought me to my knees. She made eye contact and then stayed focused on me. I'd let her see everything I felt for her in my gaze, and I'm pretty damn sure she let me see what she felt for me, which filled my heart with hope that not all was lost. God, I loved her.
Liam nudged me, which had me turning to face the front with him.
My brother was getting married in front of me, and all I could think about was the woman standing on the opposite side of the bride to me.
She was stunning, and I'd missed her like crazy these past couple of days. I know I'd spent time away from her before, when I'd been trying to do right and not get involved with her. But after sharing our beds, I couldn't sleep without her. She was there under my skin and in my heart. She was there to stay and I planned on telling her that after my brother finished saying his vows.
Yesterday I'd gone to the bank and retrieved my grandmother's engagement ring, which I planned on sliding on to Thalia's finger before the day was over.
Mia also had an engagement ring from my other grandmother, my father's mother, to wear so both ladies should be happy.
"Jack, where the fuck are you? Ring," Liam whispered under his breath.
Shit. I quickly reached into my jacket's inner pocket and retrieved both wedding bands. "No sweat." I handed them over and caught Thalia, looking at me with eyes full of mirth.
I winked at her, and watched her whole face light up.
"Will you get a grip," Liam whispered again.
"Hurry up," I grumbled, which Mia heard and chuckled.
Not long after, Liam was kissing the happy blushing bride, and walking back down the aisle with her. Then it was my turn to walk Thalia down the aisle behind the happy couple. I held my arm out to her; she slid her arm through mine, and offered me a smile.
I grinned back, unable to get my vocal cords to work. I pulled her in closer as we walked down the aisle, the bottom of her dress wrapping around my legs, keeping us together.
No sooner had we reached Liam and Mia, the photographer was pulling us all away for photographs. Something I'd been looking forward to because it would mean I'd get Thalia in my arms again, even, if it were only for a short while.
The photographer had other ideas of course and kept dragging us apart; Thalia on one side of the branch, and me on the other. Why we had to be separated by a fucking tree branch was beyond me. I had to keep reminding myself that it was Liam's day and to keep my mouth shut.
The photographer finally announced that he'd finished for now so with a huge sigh of relief I walked over to Thalia. She turned and watched me approach with a nervous smile on her lips.
Having her hands in mine made me want to jump for joy, and I realized I couldn't wait another minute. "Please come and talk to me. I was going to wait until later, to get you alone, but I can't. I need to talk to you now. Please come with me."