Because it seemed like it, the way she was acting.
"These cakes are not for you." she hissed, dumping the plate in the trash right behind us. She retuned back to the table, smiling smugly, like she got me good.
Ugh no!
I took a moment to collect myself, before I did something irrational.
The moment did nothing for me. This bitch needed a few lessons on manners. And what better way to teach her, than in my usual style when dealing with people like her.
You know, the dumbass kind.
Let the ass ripping commence.
I leaned into her, practically snarling. "Bitch, do I disturb you when you're sucking cock?" I asked her, quietly. She gasped and her puffed out lips opened wide, giving her duck lips.
"No," I answered for her, before hissing out her main infraction. "Then why the fuck, are you disturbing me when I'm eating cake?"
She jerked her chin back and eyed the space around me.
I leaned closer and whispered. "Jesus Christ! Cake eating 101, fucking hell. Where are your fucking manners? Who raised you? You've ruined cake!"
Cheryl's nostrils flared again. "Excuse me, this is my party." she hissed, crossing her arms.
"Don't I know it, I've been informed of your status." I smiled slyly at her, leaning back.
"What is that supposed to mean?" she hissed.
"It means, I fucking forgot to buy you a birthday present. Then again, what do you buy an older woman/side piece like yourself? How about a package of adult diapers or a shiny new cholesterol monitor? The good thing is, I can find all of those things at Shoppers Drug Mart, right next to the blood pressure machine in the back, next to the pharmacy." I informed her, stifling a huge laugh.
She shook her head, quickly disregarding what I had just told her. Which was a damn shame, because I wanted to know, out of all those products, which one had caught her interest.
I was being serious.
Really, I was.
She leaned forward, eyeing me deathly. "Stay away from Lexy."
I jerked my chin back, smirking at her nickname for Xander. "Lexy? That's a girl's name."
"No it's not, it's unisex and it's adorable." she snarled quietly.
I winked at her, nodding my head like I 'agreed'. "Okay."
She let out an exasperated breath, looking away as she fluffed her long hair. "I don't even know why I'm having this conversation with the likes of you. You're disposable. I'll have you fired in no time."
I tilted my head to side, cocking an eyebrow. "How? Are you that good at sucking cock, that old daddy would force Xander to fire me because of it?"
Her eyes widened. "Xander?"
"My nickname for him." I informed her smugly.
"He lets you call him Xander? Only Liam calls him that." she stuttered.
"Yeah, well we're close like that."
She shook her head, like nothing made sense anymore.
Yeah, I do that too!
"It makes no sense." she hissed, looking repulsed.
"Why, because your 'Ho' calculations didn't pan out like you anticipated. Why don't I recalculate for you then. Your loose, floppy vagina, plus your big fake ass titties, multiplied by the easy access you have available around the clock." I pretended to calculate everything by counting my fingers. "You know what that equals to? It equals to nothing, because you're nothing."
She pursed her duck lips, and her body visibly shook from anger. "I can't believe Lexy brought you to my party. You're a lunatic."
"Then go ask him, see whose side he picks." I told her, holding my arm out, motioning for her to go for it.
"You won't get away with this." she hissed one last time before stalking away.
"I won't get away with what? I didn't do anything to you." I muttered to myself, eyeing the empty spot on the table, where my dessert plate was sadly missing.
This was ridiculous!
That bitch violated the first rule of cake eating 101. You never, ever, disturb a hungry bitch while she's eating her cake.
And now there was no more cake, not unless I went and grabbed some more.
It's a tough job, but I was willing to do it. I made my way back to the dessert table, mentally envisioning what my new plate would look like. I was too busy daydreaming about my new plate of goodies, I didn't notice when servers come out and begin clearing the table before I could get to it.
NO!.
I rushed around groups of people trying to get to the table faster. But it was too late. I was too late. All the cakes were gone.
The servers quickly cleared the rest of the table, and then brought out platters, placing them side by side on the table.
This is so unfair. I thought, staring glumly at the covered platters.
Well, fuck that bitch. So what if they took all the cake and brought out more food. I was glad they took it away. I didn't want to eat anything at her stupid party anyways, not if she picked it all.
Besides I had a job to do.
I scoured the room, searching for a short, balding, round man in a brown suit jacket. "Eugene, where are you?" I murmured to myself. From the corner of my eye, I saw the covers being pulled off the platters, quickly resulting in a stampede of guests rushing toward it.
That's when I found him, rushing about in the midst of the stampede. "Hey Eugene!" I called, waving at him. His eyes bugged out at the sight of me. He grimaced at the sight of my waving hand and quickly looked away, pretending as if it didn't happen.
What did I do to this guy?
It's like I scared him away.
So what if I knew he took drugs, it wasn't like he ran someone over last night and I witnessed it.
Something weird was going on, because there was no way a guy would freak out just because he took a drug.
I needed to get to the bottom of things.
Now.
I scoured the room looking for Xander, spotting him not too far away smiling at one of the servers. I shook my head, he really had no shame. I strode quickly to him, circling around groups of people, not taking my eyes off Xander as he winked at the poor girl who was now struggling to hold her tray of drinks. I was so focused on Xander, I bumped into someone.
"I'm sorry." I told the person before getting a look at them.
"That's okay." A familiar voice said. "You can bump into me anytime."
"What?" I muttered, turning and coming face to face with Liam.
"Liam!" I gasped.
"We meet again." He cocked an eyebrow. "What's the rush?"
I stared past his shoulder at Xander, who was still wagging his eyebrows at the poor server. Why was she still serving drinks around him? "Nothing, I just needed to find Xander."
"You need to find Xander?" he repeated slowly.
"Yeah, I'm here with him." I told him.
"Well then, I wouldn't want to keep you from him." he snipped, quickly striding away.
Wait, what?
What did I do now?
I shook it off and headed towards Xander. I needed some answers.
"We need to talk." I demanded, coming to a stop right in front of him. He sighed sadly and broke eye contact with the stumbling server.
"What now?" he muttered, clearly exasperated that I ruined his latest conquest. "Can't you see that I'm busy? And don't you have a mission to complete?"
"That's what I need to talk to you about, in the hallway. Now!" I demanded, pushing him towards the exit.
"You're going to explain right here, right now." I ordered him outside the private room in the hallway. "I haven't said more than a few words to Eugene, but every time I've come anywhere near him tonight, he looked at me like he saw a ghost."
He hunched over and rubbed his face, chuckling. "It worked better than I could have ever imagined."
"What worked? The drug thing? He thinks were going to expose him?" I probed, feeling my stomach churn uncomfortably.
"Bingo, blackmail at its finest. You made a great witness." Xander smirked.
I jerked my chin back, holding out both my palms, motioning for him stop. "Wait, I don't understand, you're blackmailing him on taking drugs before coming to dinner? That's not that big of a deal."
"You're right it's not, but thank goodness that's not all he's guilty of." Xander grinned.
My eyes widened. "What else is he guilty of? Eating in the dark?"
"No, for cheating on his wife." Xander answered.
I jerked back in surprise. "But I wasn't there when he did that."
"What are you talking about, of course you were there." Xander said.
"What are you talking about?" I asked quietly, hearing my heart beat harder against my chest.
"At the restaurant." Xander answered.
"When we ate dinner?" I asked, feeling a wave of dizziness consume me.
"No, not when we ate dinner, before."
I gasped, holding a palm against my chest. "Chicken noodle soup?" I practically whispered.
"Chicken noodle soup." Xander answered.
I held both palms against my chest now. "No." I whispered.
"Yes." Xander nodded.
"No." I whispered, shaking my head.
"Yes."
"How?" I stuttered. "You can't be serious?"
"I'm a hundred percent serious right now." He wagged both his eyebrows, a ghost of a smile on his face.
He probably thought this was funny as hell.
"Xander...please, don't play me right now, everything's starting to get dizzy around me." I screeched breathily, feeling my body sway drunkenly.
He grabbed me by the shoulders, rocking me still. "It's no big deal. I sent Eugene some prescription painkillers that made him a little loose, a little off his rockers. Then invited him to Serenity Gardens where he was told to pop his dick out for the best glory hole blow job he would ever experience." Xander explained, nonchalantly.
"And dinner?" I screeched, practically panting.
I was on the verge of throwing up.
"And then we ate dinner." Xander replied.
"You guys were getting your dick sucked right beside me?" I whispered, bewilderedly. "Please tell me it's a joke."
"It's not."