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"I'm not a loser." I stammered, feeling dizzy all of a sudden, feeling my body sway drunkenly. The sky turned dark. A giant dark cloud was quickly engulfing all the white ones, growing larger by the second.

"No." I gasped as the dark cloud got closer, taking the entire backyard inside it.

The dark cloud takes me.....

......and my eyes snapped open as I screamed. "No!"

"No." I panted once more, holding a hand over my beating heart. Blinking a few times, I grabbed parts of my new bed, reintroducing reality to myself.

"It was just a dream." I whispered to myself, gulping once. I got out of bed and headed to the bathroom. I sat on the toilet lid, trying to calm my breath. "What a fucked up dream."

I washed my face with shaky hands before exiting the bathroom. I checked the time on my phone. It was just after midnight. I didn't want to go back to sleep, not after that nightmare. I needed to calm down before I even thought about going back to sleep.

What I needed was a drink.

CHAPTER 31.

Don't cry! I ordered myself as I perched over the counter in a bar called 'The Round View'. This was where I headed right after waking up from that horrible nightmare.

And now, I was on drink number five, which included four shots of Vodka and my current drink, a cranberry vodka concoction.

I was smart you see.

I wasn't going to mix alcohols, by only sticking to vodka tonight.

Things were getting a little blurry and I couldn't feel my fingers anymore. If this fucking bar wasn't as packed as it was, someone would have noticed that I was not 'good' and would have tried to help me.

Talk to me, come on to me, try to sleep with me. Damn it, why did this bar have to be so busy tonight. I mean I know its Friday, but can't a girl get some love, some attention at least.

Shit.

Sometimes I wished I had a dick. It would have made this 'life' thing much easier. You know who was having it easy?

Ben was.

That asshole was probably laying back and getting his dick sucked by that skank who dared question me in the nightmare on what my 'real' job title was.

Fucking bitch! She's lucky I was nice Marisa in my nightmare.

I slumped further down, my face inches away from the wooden counter.

"Miss!" The bartender yelled at me, making me jerk upwards.

"Yeah?" I narrowed my eyes at the blonde male bartender.

"You okay?" he asked, smiling. I smiled back, finally, someone gave a shit.

"Yeah, I'm cool. Can I have some water please?" I asked.

"Sure thing!"

He slid over an ice cold cup of water with a lime in it.

That was nice of him. I tipped him five dollars for it, even though the water was free. He's working hard tonight, he deserved a little extra, but then again, I've already tipped him over twenty bucks.

God I was generous!

And kind!

And amazing!

So why the fuck was I always alone.

I was always fucking alone, always.

I was so alone, a fucking hermit crab would probably try and give me advice. 'Get your shit together before you end up all alone and die!'

I laughed imagining it.

"Keep your voice down, you almost turned me deaf, bitch!" A girl screeched beside me. My eyebrows shot up surprised that someone actually had the gall to speak to me like that. Even though I was drunk, it wasn't a good idea to speak to me like I was shit. I slowly twisted my neck to my right to eye my accuser.

The first thing I saw was plump.

Everywhere!

Fuck this bitch was fat! Like everywhere.

"What are you looking at, dyke?" she snapped, giving me a once over, flicking her ugly, dyed bright red hair to the side.

I smiled at her, relieved.

I needed this.

It was as if someone up there was listening and sent me a target to have fun with and explore my creative side.

You know the kind that burned.

"Stupid bitch, fucking retard, don't you ever look at me again!" She sneered, eyeing her skanky friends, who were wearing barely any clothing. Maybe they came here to find some work, you never know these days. Her friends came here to find work, but what about big thunder here, what kind of work did she think she was going find here?

I didn't even care about that. The way she was looking at me, it was really, really, making me mad.

I cracked my neck once and began singing my magic. "I think I know what the problem here is,"

She cocked her insanely thin black eyebrow, putting her hand to her hip. "Oh really?"

"Yeah," I told her, and then drank some water before continuing with a 'straight' face. "You're still bitter about that time five years ago when you were kicked out of 'The Golden Griddle' for over eating their little breakfast buffet thing at five in the morning. I probably looked like one of the managers that kicked you out and you're taking years of pent up anger and resentment out on me."

Her jaw dropped, eyeing her friends in confusion, but I could see she kind of got it by the way her face started turning red.

Feel the burn bitch, feel that hot, sweaty burn. There's more where that came from, because I was just getting started.

This was going to be fun.

My way that is.

"Bitch, do I look like a fucking manager to you?" I slurred.

"What?" she screeched angrily, now bright red, matching her nasty ass hair.

It's working!

"Well that's gotta be the only reasonable, the only logical explanation why you are being a fucking bitch to me!" I snapped, jumping off my stool to stand in front of her.

"Hey, no fighting in here!" The bartender warned.

"Like I could take jumbo here down! I'd crack a rib!" I slurred loudly as laughter ignited around me. Yeah I low blowed her, but fuck, she started it.

I was the innocent one.

She's the evil one.

Really, honest to God.

"You better shut your mouth, tardo!" she warned taking a step closer to me. She shook she was so angry.

Success!

I grinned sloppily at her. "And you better think next time you want to take your shit out on someone who had nothing to do with 'The Golden Griddle' banning you for life. Bitch, I know it said all you can eat, but damn! I wasn't even there and I can feel it in my bones that you tore that place apart, no food left in sight. It must have been so sad." I sniffled at the end, igniting a higher volume of laughs from the spectators.

"You better shut the fuck up! I will fuck you up bitch!" she warned, itching closer. "I'm warning you!"

I snorted. "Like I'm scared of you. Bitch, the only person who would ever be scared of you, would be the pizza delivery boy! For two reasons, pizza and dick!"

Everyone around us laughed even louder. Even I busted out a few chuckles. That last line, that was good one. You know who didn't think it was a good one, the very angry girl in front of me.

"No fighting!" The bartender yelled again. Why was he saying that again, I wasn't going to hit her, I'm not that stupid, she'd kill me.

"I'm not going to _" I began to say to the bartender but was abruptly interrupted when a chunky ass hand slapped my face, sending me flying into a row of stools.

Oh my God that hurt! I thought as I peeled my face off the metal base of one stool that was crumbled on the ground right beside me.

"Take that bitch!" she screeched out joyously.

Yeah, that's not going to work for me.

"What you call me crack whore?" I groaned, getting up and wiping blood off my forehead. Thank God I changed into a black shirt and jeans.

Fuck! That's going to leave a mark.

I wiped the blood on my jeans and faced the yeti. She sneered, positioning herself in a fighting stance. "Learned your lesson lesbo?"

Awe, she's so cute. Didn't she know anything about physics, the bigger you are, the harder you fall. I did my version of the roadrunner and slammed myself into her. My arms encircled half her waist as we tumbled backwards.

She broke my fall and it was like landing on a fluffy mattress.

Yay, this is fun!

"She's killing me!" she screeched dramatically at the top of her lungs. I pushed myself up into a sitting position and slapped her across her face, making ripples. I should have made a wish.

I wish for world peace.

Before I could get another hit in, I felt a hand grab my hair and pull it back. I screamed in pain. Another hand grabbed my hand, stopping me from hitting her. I got a look at my attackers and it was her friends, screaming and cursing at me, while trying to hit me at the same time.

That wasn't going to work for me either. I yanked my arm out of skank two's hold and then hit her in the cooch. She jerked back in pain, falling backwards over a chair showing the entire bar that she wore no underwear.

"Should have worn underwear bitch, could have been a shield for you." I laughed loudly.

Skank number one still had her nasty ass hands jerking my hair back, moving me off a very disgruntled, now very disturbed and emotional damaged red head.

She should have known better. You never, ever, mess with the drunken sad girl in jeans and a t-shirt, drinking at the bar by herself. Jeans and a t-shirt, if that wasn't fighting gear, than I didn't know what was.

I'm yanked off her completely, but I had the power of my legs to help me now. I turned around and punched this bitch in her stomach. Her bear claw released my hair as she screamed in pain. "Ahhh, did I make a boo boo for you, so sorry....NOT!" I rejoiced.

"No fighting!" The bartender yelled.

"I'm not fighting, they're fighting! They hit me first!" I glanced around the room at the crowds of happy and amazed faces. It was drinks and fights tonight, courtesy of moi.

I bowed quickly and then made a run for it, exiting the bar.

"Hey you can't just leave, come back! Somebody get her!" One of the skanks yelled as the front door closed behind me. It was a good thing Xander's building was conveniently located right beside the bar, taking me only a few seconds jogging to get to.

I laughed as I made my way into the building's lobby, ducking my head down to hide my wound, making my way to the elevators.

I hurried inside an elevator cart and slumped backwards into the railing on the way to the fifteenth floor, panting and chuckling to myself.

That was fun!

As soon as I entered my room, I headed to the bathroom inside my bedroom and yanked off my clothes. I stood in just my black lace underwear and matching bra, examining my injuries.

Maria's pick.

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