"I'm ready, have been even before you arrived." Eugene answered.
"Ready for what, and how?" I asked, confused. What the hell were these guys talking about? How do you get ready to eat food?
"No need to worry about that Marisa, our appetizers are a few seconds from arriving from underneath the table." Xander explained.
"Really?" I kicked underneath the table, my feet hitting a board. The lift must be inside of it.
This technology is crazy. I'm so out of my element it's unbelievable. I never knew they could do this shit. The most technologically advanced place I ever ate at was through the drive through.
"Shit," I slurred like I was stoned. All of a sudden the table began to shake. I heard something moving up, then a tiny gadget opening.
"They're bringing it up right now, right in front of me and Eugene." Xander said.
"What did they give you," I asked.
They didn't answer, instead all of a sudden I felt steam fall from the ceiling. It smelt like strawberries again.
"Shit, that steam thing is coming over us again. We're going to smell like strawberries when we leave here." I said, flabbergasted, waving my hand through open dark space, feeling the warm steam swim around my body.
It could be worse. Smelling like strawberries wasn't the worst thing in the world to smell like. I'd smell nice and fruity.
"Hey, this is fun!" I exclaimed like a little kid would.
"I'm glad you think so." Xander breathed. "We're just about to enjoy our appetizers. We'll be done really quickly."
"Okay," I said, warily. "You can take your time you know, don't rush on my account I can wait, it's not a problem."
"Oh no Marisa, we wouldn't want you to wait because we couldn't be quick enough. Don't worry darling, we'll be quick with our time." Eugene assured.
"You see, there's no problem Marisa." Xander added.
"Okay," I said, warily again. These guys were making me feel weird. What was going on? How could two men make eating appetizers feel so sketchy?
All of a sudden the sound of something opening and closing took over from the loud hydraulics. The sound stopped, the hydraulics stopped and the table stopped shaking. It's so dark in here I couldn't see anything, but thankfully a few seconds later a small light dimmed on from behind Eugene. It got brighter by the second, showcasing shadows of trees and monkey's.
What the fuck!
"What the fuck is that?" I screeched staring at the shadow version of a jungle, displayed all over the wall. "Where are they projecting that from?"
"It's part of the package," Xander explained. "Now hush, it's about to begin. Right Eugene?"
"Oh yes, it is beginning." Eugene breathed.
Huh?
Why'd he answer like that? Like he was almost out of breath? I couldn't see what was actually going on, the only thing any of us could see were the shadows on the walls.
All of a sudden classical music began playing, opera.
"Hey I know who this is....that famous opera guy. His name starts with a 'P'." I said, swaying my body to the music.
"You mean Pavarotti?" Xander panted.
"Yes! That's the guy's name!" I exclaimed happily and then turned towards him, perplexed. Why'd he answer like he was out of breath again? We were sitting, last I checked, you didn't lose your breath while sitting.
"Isn't this your favourite song by Pavarotti, Alexander?" Eugene stammered over the rising volume. Pavarotti began singing, filling every inch of the room.
"That it is Eugene, I could listen to Pavarotti all day and night." Xander answered, again breathily. You'd think they were running in a race by the way they sounded.
What the fuck? What's going on with these guys? And why was the music gradually getting louder. We couldn't talk normally with the music on this loud.
"Is there a remote in here?" I yelled over the loud instrumentals.
Nobody answered, which was odd. I stretched my arm out hoping to feel Xander's shoulder. When my hand felt his shoulder, it shook as if he was laughing hysterically, but I heard no laughing.
"What's going on in here? Xander why are you shaking?" I yelled over the music.
This time Xander bursts out laughing. "I'm shaking because I'm laughing Marisa, geez, can't a guy enjoy his appetizer without disturbance?"
"An excellent appetizer by the way!" Eugene exclaimed loudly, his voice slightly vibrating.
I eyed the dark space where they were sitting warily, something really wasn't right. "This isn't fair, you guys get to eat appetizers first, you're clearly enjoying it, and I'm fucking starving." I yelled, exasperated, even though I told them to take their time.
"Soon!" Xander answered.
"Yes, very soon!" Eugene answered right after.
"Soon what?" I yelled, confused as hell.
"Yummy!" Xander yelled.
"Yes....delicious!" Eugene followed.
I cringed at the sound of their voices. If I didn't find out what was going on, things were going to get physical.
All of a sudden the music turned off, and the sound system started playing loud jungle music. I was talking the sound of drums, leaves rustling, monkey's and elephants screaming.
"It's like we're at the Rain Forest Cafe!" I exclaimed loudly.
"Except this isn't a family restaurant." Xander chuckled, not out of breath.
"No, it is not." Eugene snickered.
The jungle music stopped and RnB music began playing.
"Okay...." I said, warily. "Interesting choice of music they have here."
"I kind of like it." Xander said.
"Yes, it's soothing, especially after our appetizers." Eugene said. The sound of hydraulics took over our ears again.
"They're taking your bowls away?" I asked in Xander's direction.
"Yes, they are being taken back downstairs." Xander answered. "That was good."
Eugene sighed, sounding content. "Yes, it was as you described it to be Alexander, I'll never doubt you again."
"Trust that you don't brother, I always tell the truth." Xander chuckled.
I snorted. "Pulease! You don't tell the truth all the time. You're a natural born liar!"
Eugene bursts out laughing. "Oh Alexander, she really is a firecracker!"
"Didn't I tell you Eugene." Xander laughed.
"Whatever," I snarled. "Anyways, what the fuck did you guys end up eating?"
"Chicken noodle soup." Xander answered and my jaw dropped.
What a crock of shit!
"I like chicken noodle soup! How come you said I wouldn't like your appetizer? This is bullshit! Why would you think I wouldn't like chicken noodle soup?" I yelled, exasperated.
Eugene bursts out laughing again. "She's got you there Alexander, care to explain to your trusted little sidekick why she was denied one of the most delicious appetizers I've ever had in my life."
Xander exhaled loudly. "As always Eugene, not one to make the problem go away but enforce it to a point where I see nowhere else to turn."
"Speak English!" I ordered them. "Fucking hell, you guys are weird!"
Both of them laughed again.
Not the response I expected. But hey, at least I knew now I could shout as many curse words as possible without getting them angry.
Win win?
I think so!
As well as speaking in third person, this bitch likes to swear, a lot.
The sound of hydraulics took over the room again, blaring over the music easily. This time however, since I knew what the sounds meant, I was jumping with joy.
"Fuck yeah! Our meals are coming, right?" I yelled over the noise towards Xander.
"They are," Xander yelled back. "You'll know what you're eating with the first bite."
"It better not be anything nasty or else, I'm warning you guys now, I may puke." I warned them.
Eugene bursts out laughing again. "Oh my word, she's hilarious, my stomach is in turmoil from all the laughter, Alexander bring her around more often."
"That's the plan." Xander chuckled.
I snorted. "I'm not your guys' entertainment!"
"Correction, you're my entertainment, and since Eugene and I work together, I'm sharing." Xander explained.
"Is that all you guys share? Things just got a little more interesting." I sneered.
"What did you mean by that?" Eugene asked seriously. "Alexander, what did she mean by that?"
Okay, what just happened? This guy just got all serious.
"Oh nothing Eugene, she meant nothing by it." Xander explained, laughing him off. "She was referring to our meals, weren't you Marisa?"
There was only one answer to that question, the way Xander was hinting in his voice.
"Of course, sharing food, sharing is caring." I answered, unsure if everything would be all right again with that answer.
Eugene bursts out laughing again. "Well, I'm not sharing my meal, I'm famished!"
I slumped into my seat, sighing in relief that I dodged that bullet. Who would have thought, this guy, who've I've been swearing left and right around, would get all bent out of shape over a little comment about sharing.
I was just joking...sort of.
I mean, he had a wife (his Celeste), so obviously it's nothing sexual.
Or was it?
Who knew what they have planned after words? All I knew was, if it was anything dirty or nasty or involving fondling genitals, I wasn't in. Whether I owed Xander or not, there was a line and I wasn't going to cross it.
Good thing we're at a restaurant, they couldn't do any sexual shit here. Adding to that, we were in a confined space, and we had to eat in the dark.
I was good for now.
The sound of hydraulics stopped and I felt the table vibrate.
"Well, what are you waiting for?" Xander said. "Dig in."
"It's here?" I asked, licking my lips. I was so hungry.
"Delicious, Alexander, you didn't say that they served 'Petit poulet du poivre noir, avec trois pomme de terre'. The last time I ate this was at this tiny bistro in Old Montreal. My mouth is watering from the smell." Eugene exclaimed.
"What, you got black pepper chicken and three potatoes in the white plate special?" I asked in Xander's direction.
"Yes, it's a specialty here, on old French classic." Xander explained. "Enough talking, I'm famished. Dig in Marisa."
"I want fucking chicken and potatoes too!" I groaned. "I'm scared, what if I got something nasty?"
"I doubt that." Xander said.