Why?
I had kept the pain of that monumental event hidden inside my hallow heart for the last six months. Why did I have to feel everything now?
"Fuck!" I hissed loudly through a sob, choking in response from the lack of air going through my passageways.
As always Ben, perfect timing.....
The next night at work, it was ten minutes to closing when reality hit me again. I groaned loudly, wiping the counters behind the display. My future at 4Scoops hadn't disappeared like I thought it would when I mistakenly accepted Xander's job proposal last night.
I was still stuck here.
It was all good though. I just needed to remind myself of that. It was for the greater good of my wellbeing. So I'd have work for minimum wage for a bit longer, it was only temporary. You know what wasn't temporary, a deal with the devil.
Tossing the rag into the sink, I nodded to myself, approving the logic, it made sense. You know what didn't make sense though, the letter Ben sent me. That letter ruined me and my day. Even though Ben meant it to be heartfelt and a gesture of good will, it left a deep mark. One that I haven't been able to shake and it was going to be closing time soon, I needed energy to clean this store by myself.
Fuck me! Life you have played your hand once again, hitting me where it hurts. I didn't have any cards to play and the hand that I had before, it didn't even match, wasn't even worthy of going against the cruel nature of the game.
It seemed I had much to improve still.
First order of business....snap out of this shit! Your man cheated after five years of being together, he denied he did anything wrong. Then six months later he apologized in a deep heartfelt letter.
There, closure, now get over it!
Checking the 4Scoops branded clock, I sighed in relief. I was three minutes away from a customer free store.
Or so I thought.
Chiming loudly, the front door opened. Horrified, my body swirled around, quickly searching for the clock again.
How dare a customer walk in this late, it was closing time!
Instead of sharing those feelings with the latecomer, I plastered on a fake smile and turned to address the customer with the usual 'welcome' slogan.
The words were choked back and I gasped in shock instead.
Standing in the door frame, wearing a black cashmere sweater and perfectly fit black jeans with a three day old beard growing on his beautiful baby soft skin, was the trouble maker King himself, Xander Barns. Staring at me, amused nevertheless, his gorgeous, trouble infused blue eyes sparkled.
"What are you doing here?" I stuttered bewilderedly, grabbing the edge of the stainless steel counter top for support "I'm here for you." he said smoothly, gliding towards me and halting in front of the ice cream display that separated us.
"Here for me." I repeated warily once the shock of seeing him again wore off. My blood boiled, fuelling the spunk inside of me, what made me, me. And it was all thanks to him. Xander woke me up.
I was back, bitches. "What the fuck are you doing here?"
Xander leaned his elbows on top of the display and grinned. "There's my trusted little sidekick."
My eyes bugged out. "What did you call me?"
"It seems, Uncle Xander has got himself into a little doo doo." he confessed, blinking a hundred times like a doll would.
Stop trying to play innocent!
"Again?" I asked, astonished. This guy got into trouble more times than a third time parolee on a crack charge.
Don't do drugs people.
His fingers playfully danced across the glass display, making finger marks that I'd have to spend a good deal of time wiping off again. Thanks douche, more work for me!
"Stop doing that, I have to clean that!" I informed him, irritated. Not grinning anymore, his eyes widened as he lowered his hand off the display. "What happened this time? What did you do?"
He narrowed his eyes at me. "I've been thinking about that job proposal I gave you."
I cocked an eyebrow. "I declined, don't you remember? I don't have time to deal with your shit, add daily shit to that equation, I couldn't run far enough!" I spat at him, crossing my arms.
"I assumed so, but now that I think about it. I don't really need a personal assistant every day, I mean I'm barely in the city for more than a couple of weeks out of the month before I have to go and check the other branches of my hotel again." Xander explained, smiling slyly. I didn't remember anything he said except for 'my hotel'.
He owned a hotel?
"Wait, what?" I asked confusedly, holding out my palm to him. "You own a hotel?"
He wiggled his eyebrows playfully and grinned. "Yes, don't you remember? I invited you over last Saturday."
My jaw dropped. "The Ogall Hotel in Ottawa really belongs to you?"
"My family actually owns them and not just in Ottawa. We have three other boutique hotels in the franchise, one in Toronto, Vancouver and Montreal. We're venturing into the states soon. We've recently acquired a piece of land in downtown Miami." Xander grinned knowingly.
He knew he had power.
"Fuck me." I whispered, astonished. He was loaded, really loaded. That's why those manager guys at the hotel last Saturday didn't do anything to him. They worked for him.
"Yes please." Xander responded, biting his bottom lip, eying me seductively.
Wait what?
No!
Scowling, I flung my arm up and pointed to him. "Stop, you can't speak to me like that anymore. I don't owe you anything."
"Can't I?" Xander chuckled, cocking an eyebrow. "I need your skills Marisa."
My arm lowered, grabbing the edge of the counter tightly. "My skills?" I gulped.
"You have a gift." He sighed.
My eyes narrowed at him. "And that is?"
"You're mean." Xander answered nonchalantly.
I'm mean?" My eyes bugged out again, gripping the counter even tighter. "Fuck you, I'm not mean!"
"Are you sure?" Xander asked apprehensively.
Ugh excuse me! Hell no!
I slammed my other fist on to the counter, hard. "Go fuck yourself you piece of shit! I'm the nicest person you're ever going to meet! Who else would have put up with your shit last Sunday?"
"I'm glad you mentioned Sunday, because I kind of need a similar service from you." Xander explained, completely disregarding my anger.
"A similar service? I'm not working for you!" I informed him sternly.
"And you don't have to, but how about we do this. If I have a problem, I'll just call you and you go fix it. You can be my own personal 'problem' solving consultant" Xander smiled, thinking he had it all figured out.
Wrong bitch.
"Nope, not interested!"
His smile stretched into a sly grin, like he had another card up his sleeve. "Oh really? Well then, how about this sweetheart. I'll pay you a thousand dollars for every problem."
My jaw dropped. "A thousand dollars!"
"That's right. And these particular problems wouldn't take you more than a day to fix, promise." Xander explained like it was all no big deal.
What a total crock of shit. Did he not remember the last 'problem' I handled for him? That fucked up head case Demetria, which he paid me five thousand dollars for, had left me emotionally damaged.
So what was this shit, a thousand dollars per problem?
The only reason I had calmed down after the confrontation with Demetria last Sunday, was because of the amount of money he was going to give me and even that barely took me out of my enraged state. If anything it just put me on the border between 'fucking hell that was crazy but I'll forget it' and 'the red zone of anger, I'm going to fuck him up real good the next time I see him'.
"You paid me five thousand for handling Demetria." I reminded.
Xander crossed his arms over his chest and grinned slyly. "That money was also because you were my date to my mother's spring garden party."
I nodded sarcastically, like I got it. "Oh really, that money was because I accompanied you to the party like a whore would have?"
"No," he answered as if that notion was crazy.
I jerked my chin back. "No?"
"No, a whore would have had sex with me. In fact, the money I paid, I think I got the raw end of that deal. In fact, you owe me still." Xander purred, leaning over the counter.
"Get your fucking hands off my display, you're making it dirtier!" I grimaced, shaking my head.
"Really.... how dirty?" he purred, biting his bottom lip again.
Fuck, he was a pervert.
"I'm not going to answer that, you need to leave, its closing time." I pointed to the clock. He backed away, shrugging like he didn't know what else he had to say to convince me to agree.
A Xander style 'problem' solving consultant, they didn't have that job description on career day in high school.
"Think about it, I'll be in touch darling." He strutted out like he was hot shit, leaving me once again stunned.
I made it within seconds of the bus leaving.
I got home around 10:45pm. My phone didn't chime with any incoming emails, so in case there was a technical difficulty with my provider, I turned my laptop on as soon as I entered my room. My heart plummeted, disappointed when the email account showed no new emails, just the ones from yesterday. Darcy's and Ben's.
Ben's email.
Had there been a minute today, where his deep and heartfelt words weren't plaguing my mind? I've been in a depressed mood ever since. He asked me to write him back, that he just wanted to read my words, whatever they were.
I wasn't ready to have a normal conversation with him yet. But I'd send him an email. Just so he knew I'd read his words and appreciated them.
I wrote him a quick email.
Thank You for the email, your words mean a lot.
From Marisa.
My mind was shutting down. That was the last bit of emotion I had left. I had already gone over his letter in my head a thousand times during my shift at 4Scoops tonight. Adding to that fucked up mix, was Xander's surprise visit.
I was exhausted and it was safe to say, I was done for the day.
Before going to sleep I watched some Anime on YouTube, which may not have been the best idea since it was all action and smidge sexual. Shutting my eyes anyways, my mind even though I wished it wouldn't, went through everything all over again. The weekend from hell, Ben's letter, Xander's job proposals.
Before drifting off to sleep, I imagined soft ocean blue eyes....and I quickly fall to sleep.
A fog opened....pulling me inside it....
He face dipped into the curve of my neck. "I'm going to make you scream, I'm going to take you until you pass out from exhaustion, baby."
"Liam!" I panted. "Now, please. I need you now!"
"Hush, my sweet. Soon." he whispered into my neck licking it more, causing me to shiver violently. He quickly took us inside his bedroom, slapping the door shut with his foot. He dropped me to the ground and turned me around, pushing me against the wall.
I was his prisoner.
All of a sudden, sex making RnB music played from the ceiling.
His lips come to my ear, licking the bottom lobe with his hot tongue. "Baby, if you think I'm just going to finger fuck you again, then you have no idea what's about to happen."
The room became blurry as heat penetrated every inch of my body. As I relished the feel of it, Liam's strong hold softened, and I turned as familiar honey brown eyes blurred over ocean blue one's, stalling me into shock. "Ben?"
"Baby," Ben whispered, standing naked in front of me, gently caressing the edge of my jawline. "I missed you so much."
"Ben? What are you doing here?" I stammered, my heart about to burst out of my chest. "How'd you get here?"