Only half a year left until we go to school.
The season now is called Moon of the Snow Flower, speaking in previous world terms – it’s winter. (TLN: Yeah, I know it’s sounds weird to have word moon describe a season, but that’s what author wrote :D)
As the chilly days go by, magic circle used for heating is being used at full capacity.
The jewel from Jewel Turtle is still in my hands, but I’m having talks with Dee and Erina about selling it soon.
I also have the money I saved up during these five years, so there are no problems with funds.
Training is also going smoothly, the two disciples are in increasingly high spirits, knowing they are going to school with together with me. When I first picked them up, I thought we’ll separate when I go to school, so I had made a short term schedule, but as that is no longer needed I adjusted it to a long term one.
It’s hard nonetheless, but the two are persisting and improving.
Destination of the servants is also decided.
Firstly Noel, seems like she’ll be going back to her hometown village.
Since the village was poor and her family had a lot of siblings, with working away from home as her excuse, she left it to reduce the mouths needed to feed, but while exchanging letters she got know that the current lord is quite resourceful and the poverty has been greatly reduced, it seems. Although slightly, it’s also growing, and as it is a village tolerant towards beastkins, it seems Noel decided on her homecoming, thinking she could find atleast some work now.
Seems Dee is also heading to Noel’s village.
More like, half a year has gone by and he still couldn’t confess to Noel. As it started getting irritating, I’m currently thinking about a plan whether to incite him to do some night crawling. [1]
That day I was doing mock combat with Reus.
Noel and Dee busy with chores, Emilia receiving education from Erina, and us, just fervently hitting one another with wooden swords, but right now I’m in the middle of fixing Reus’ habits.
「Anikiiiii—–! I give up, give up!」(Reus) [2]
「How many times do you need to be told to understand? It’s because you don’t pull back your sword here that you get caught like this」(Sirius)
Since he has just too much openings, I was holding him in an iron claw and making him learn with his body.
「Well then, let’s try once again, shall we. Next—」(Sirius)
「Sirius-samaa! Plea… Please come immediately!」(Emilia)
The voice of Emilia, who was shouting with her face out the window, was already close to a shriek. Ending body maintenance there I returned to the house, and when I rushed into Erina’s room, I realized everything.
「Erina-san… Erina-san collapsed… stopped moving…」(Emilia)
With a face all pale and devoid of vitality, Erina was being held in Emilia’s arms, while breathing out roughly.
「Erina-san! Erina-san!」(Emilia)
「Don’t talk! We are moving Erina to a bed immediatly」(Sirius)
「Emilia!」(Sirius)
「!?」(Emilia)
I roar, making Emilia’s attention turn at me, and I talk to her slowly to make her calm down. Indeed, I can’t get impatient here. Firstly, carrying Erina to bed is our highest priority.
「Listen closely, firstly, carry Erina to bed. If you don’t, I can’t take a look at her. Do you understand?」(Sirius)
「Ye…s…」(Emilia)
Likely by having been given a purpose, Emilia calmed down, and with Erina in her arms, carefully, almost like like holding a breakable object, she moved her to bed. While she is disturbed, her technique of moving while not putting a burden on one being carried, is probably a gift from her servant education.
While I was standing at her bedside, gathering mana, at some point Noel and Dee were standing behind me. The two look anxious, but they are standing siliently, waiting for my diagnosis, it seems. The siblings continue to cry while holding Erina’s hands.
Using 『Scan』, I inspect Erina’s body.
From head to stomach, from hips till feet, carefully, taking my time, I investigate her body in and out.
And… I’ve confirmed it.
「It… came at last」(Sirius)
Neither a disease, nor an injury, it is simply lifespan.
I heard earlier, that she had a period in her youth, when she could not eat properly, it seems. Severe physical work and an enviroment where one can’t get proper nutrition on top of that, it was just not enough for her to to develop during growth phase.
And the price to pay is exactly this right now. In the previous world people lived to almost a hundred years, but in this world, where medicine is not developed, Erina might be among longer-lived ones. Restoration magic does not have the universality to also lenghten lifespan.
Only one thing can be said for certain. She… doesn’t have long.
Her body was at it’s limits from the beginning.
Since half a year back, time sitting down has been increasing, but gradually time when she could not move increased, lately she has been bedridden a lot.
Even so when it came time for Emilia’s education, she stood up, showed examples herself and pointed out her bad points. Enduring pain running through the body, squeezing out the remaining strength, to convey her own techniques to her, even if a little.
「Sirius-sama! Erina-san is fine, right?」(Emilia)
「Aniki, if it’s you, you can cure it, right?」(Reus)
Noel and Dee seem to have understood from my reaction, but the siblings still clinged on this hope called “Me”. But unfortunately I have a disposition to not believe in miracles I cannot work myself, and I don’t want to run to illusion of a miracle in the first place. I feel bad for the two, but I am no God. Doing something with one’s lifespan is impossible.
「You mustn’t… say something… so unreasonable」(Erina)
「Erina-san」(Emilia)
Erina regained conciousness, but her face is as pale as before, with no signs of improvement. After stroking the heads of the two clinging to her while crying, she turns her face at this side.
「Sirius-sama, you have diagnosed me, correct?」(Erina) (TLN: she somehow sounds harsher in english and I can’t think of a way to fix it)
「Well then, the results. I would like you to tell everybody」(Erina)
「Since it is about me, I am prepared. Also, everyone here has a right to know」(Erina)
Though it’s a painful situation, she was smiling softly. I see… she has resolved herself.
「Erina, you have two… no one month at the most」(Sirius)
At my judgement the siblings plopped down, while Dee and Noel sadly downcast their eyes.
「Did you hear that? I do not have long left. Therefore…」(Erina) (TLN: you in plural, as she is talking to everyone but Sirius)
Erina looked at everyone once, and stated with a serious expression.
「Prepare yourselves」(Erina)
Already unable to get out of bed, she lives while receiving nursing from Noel and Emilia. Everyone, when they have free time, stand at Erina’s side, but nodding while laying down or lightly talking is her limit, her appearance foreboding death, was hard to look at. However this is Erina’s consideration, by expressly showing us that, this is what she wants to say.
『I am going to pass away, so be ready to accept that』
A few days ago when she said to prepare ourselves, this what she meant. When the siblings finally got over their parent’s deaths, they will be shown saddening reality once again, but it’s already impossible to avoid. That’s why, to make it even a bit easier, steeling her heart, she shows herself about to die, I think.
Situation is as such, but the training continued. The two are lacking concentration often, but by moving their bodies, I think they can focus a bit. While we are being careful to not injure ourselves, days go past.
Half a month has passed.
Erina is already unable to eat solids, her meals consisting of only drinking especially mixed nutrients.
Probably it is about time.
I wonder, what can I do?
What I am about to do is not something to be praised, depending on viewpoint it is a cruel method. Even so, I could not do nothing, I want her to be satisfied.
That item handed over to Erina, the only thing left to do is wait for her decision.
One month after Erina collapsed.
That day’s morning began unusually noisily.
「Good morning, everyone」(Erina)
「「「「Erina-san!?」」」」(Emilia/Reus/Dee/Noel)
Everyone apart me shouted. Not surprising, as Erina, who was bedridden, is standing in the kitchen, cooking. Disregarding them, who are standing in confusion not understanding what is happening, Erina prepares the meal while humming.
「Erina-san… did you perhaps get well?」(Emilia)
「I will explain that afterwards. First let us have breakfast, shall we?」(Erina)
Breakfast menu, lined up on the table, consists of nothing but the routine that Erina makes. Sandwiches and bacon or egg soup, meals that Erina made, make me feel elated.
But in front of her, there’s no meal, only a cup with water in it.
「Are you not going to eat, Erina-san?」(Emilia)
「That’s a bit… Don’t mind me and dig in」(Erina)
Some doubts rise, but everyone decided to give priority her her home cooking, that they have not had in a while.
「How is it? I hope it is not weird, as it has been a while」(Erina)
「Ah, I am glad. Because it has been a long time, I was worried.」(Erina)
「I like it too!」(Reus)
Harmonious breakfast ended, and just after Erina prepared the after meal tea, she spoke the shocking truth.
Everyone’s movement stopped. I just looked at her with a steady gaze, as she simply stated this, since I know the circumstances, but Noel having finally rebooted, asked while raising her hand.
「Ano…. Please explain. That was too abrupt, I can’t make heads or tails of it」(Noel)
「Drug… Is it not the remedy?」(Noel)
「No, it is not. This is a taboo drug, that shaves off ones life, raising physical capability. The drug’s effects last until today’s evening, so until then I am able to move as usual」(Erina)
Life boost.
Effects are as she just explained, and it was used during war, it seems. Originally it should wear off after a few hours and afterwards one would lay in bed for a few days, but I adjusted the drug, suppressing it’s effects and prolonging duration. But the burden after wearing off is that much more severe, and when that time comes it will probably be the end of her.
「Why that kind of drug. Erina-san…. why?」(Emilia)
「「「「Huuuh?…」」」」(Emilia/Reus/Dee/Noel)
All of them were amazed at the over the top statement. I think so as well, but since it’s a rare selfishness for her, my intention is to let her do as she wants. Since Erina is totally undisturbed by their gazes, everyone focused them on me, as if saying “what are you going to do?”.
「Just as she said. I will also won’t be training today and will just relax in the house. So you may do as you wish, Erina」(Sirius)
「「Y-Yes!」」(Noel & Emilia)
Since then Erina was handling housework, just like before.
Patting Reus and Emilia more than needed, drinking tea with Noel and Dee, giving me a lap pillow – she spent time, smiling from beggining to end.
And after finishing eating dinner, she invited everyone to her room.
Without being told by anyone she lied down on the bed, and while surveying us lining up around, she opens her mouth.
「It was truly fun today. Since it is probably about time, lastly I wish to tell you something」(Erina)
While smiling gently, she spoke, while calling out everyone’s name one by one.
Everyone is listening to her while spilling tears, but while continuing to listen… I was beginning to get angry. If I was asked what was I angry towards, it would be Erina’s attitude.
「Why…」(Sirius)
「Is something the matter, Sirius-sama?」(Erina)
Erina asks me while smiling, but now that smile makes me hate it. What’s with that smile. Also, just conveying what she wanted to say so simply, it’s as if it is just an operation for having them take over the job.
Are these your true feelings? Even though I aspecially prepared the drug, are you able to be satisfied with just this?
「Erina… are you fine with this?」(Sirius)
「I am sorry, have I offended you somehow?」(Erina)
The surroundings are stirred by the change in my mood. As a servant Erina tries desperatly to calm this change in her master, but my anger is not lessening.
Indeed it does.
『You’re fit as a mother indeed, Erina. I, too, think of you as one.』(Sirius)
『You two are a little like a mother and a father』(Noel)
『In other words, am I Sirius-sama’s mother? That’s wonderful』(Erina)
―― Oh, so that’s how it is.
It’s not only her, but my fault as well, that she keeps acting like servant.
If I didn’t keep acting like an adult, and just accepted her affection while honestly fawning on her, it would have been fine.
「Sirius-sama, I am sorry, if I put you in a bad mood. So please listen to….」(Erina)
She was surprised at my words and opened her eyes widely, but immediatly shook her head, while smiling bitterly.
「Please stop with the jest. Your mother is solely Aria-sama, I am but a servant working for you」(Erina)
「Me… a mother….」(Erina)
「….am I allowed to do that?」(Erina)
「Since I won’t be seeing you as anything but my mother anymore. So please, otherwise I might end up hating you」(Sirius)
Tears were overflowing from Erina’s eyes. They were purely tears of happiness, and she stared straight at me without wiping them.
「I don’t want to be hated by Sirius-sama…no by Sirius. So I shall do as you say」(Erina)
Noel and co. were confused at Erina, who was speaking to me in an informal tone, but I was experiencing an extraordinary feeling of satisfaction. Truly, it would have been fine to call her mom much earlier and associated with her as such. I realized it too late… damn.
「Reus, eat food while chewing it properly. I have been telling you numerous times, but if you do not eat while tasting it, it is rude towards one who made it」(Erina)
「No, it is precisely because it is now that I am saying it. Also learn to speak politely already. If people doubt your character, you will be troubling ones around you so be careful, got it?」(Erina)
「u,un…Yes!」(Reus)
「Next Dee. You are the oldest, but how about I have a few words with you?」(Erina)
「It is fine to be cautious, but you are just being a coward. Have a bit more courage. Your words are still waited for, so act before it is too late」(Erina)
「I-I shall take that to heart」(Dee)
「Noel… my stupid and clumsy little sister. I was truly troubled by you」(Erina)
「Yeah, that’s right, as they say, the stupider little sister – the cuter」(Erina)
「Isn’t that fine, I like the idiotic and pure you the most. So please stay that way」(Erina)
「Un…I’ll do my best」(Noel)
「Emilia, make the best of the skills I have taught you. I have asked you many times, but your decision has not changed, has it?」(Erina)
「I see, do not overdo it. If you get hurt, Sirius will be the one who is sad. Also, careful with the self-sacrifice」(Erina)
「I wonder if it is too late. But really, do take care of yourself. Because from now on you will be the one to support Sirius」(Erina)
「Un… I will… Su-support him….」(Emilia) (TLN: Same as with Reus.)
「Sirius, I don’t have anything to say to you」(Erina)
「I mean, you can do anything on your own, right?」(Erina)
「Not denying it completely, huh? But, if it’s you, anything is possible. Kaa-san assures you」(Erina)
「Just like Aria-sama said, I want you to live straighforwardly, doing anything, not bound by anyone」(Erina)
「Sounds heartening. More than that, I have a request… may I?」(Erina)
「Could you… hold my hand?」(Erina) [4]
「Sure」(Sirius)
「Would you call me kaa-san one more time?」(Erina)
「Any number of times, kaa-san」(Sirius)
「Once more」(Erina)
「Kaa-san」(Sirius)
「A bit louder」(Erina)
「Kaa-san!」(Sirius)
「I would like to be called mama」(Erina)
「Yes yes, mama」(Sirius)
「As I thought, I like kaa-san better」
「Understood, kaa-san」(Sirius)
「Fufu, this is the first time I see your tearful face. You would cry for me, huh?」(Erina)
「Nee, Sirius, I am very happy right now」(Erina)
「But, not being able to see you grow further is my sole regret」(Erina)
「It might. But I am happy. There were a lot of painful things, but I am satisfied with my life. Having such a loving family to see me off at the end… I am truly happy」(Erina)
「I love you… my Sirius」(Erina)
「Aa….those words are enough. Sirius…..」(Erina)
When I became aware, I was standing in an endless white space.
Weird, I was in bed with Sirius watching over me… what does this mean?
『Mou, You’re here too early!』
That is… Aria-sama!?
『Yeah. It’s been a while, hasn’t it, Erina』
Truly, it has been a long time. Your child is growing quite splendidly.
『Un un. I was always looking, so I know. Also you’re mistaken. It’s not mine, it’s our son, right?』
Ah, yes, you’re correct.
『On top of that, your way of talking is stiff. We are not a master and a servant anymore, just mothers』
I am happy you say that, but it is already a habbit. More than that, what is this place?
『Uuuun…. how do I say this. You may think of this as a ….dream』
A dream? Judging from Aria-sama’s words, Sirius’ situation can be seen from here?
『Are, aren’t you adapting too fast? Thought you might be a bit more surprised….』
Being at that child’s side you get used to it. Also if I can watch Sirius, it is a trivial thing.
『I see. Since place next to me is free, have a sit?』
A sit you say, but there is nothing here let alone a chair.
『Don’t worry about that part. Look, Sirius can be seen.』
It’s true. Aa… cute no matter how many times I look.
『Iyaa… This son of mine is quite a lady-killer. To make Erina fall for him that much, what a sinful man』
I fell for him from the time I held him in my arms, after he was born.
『If we’re speaking about that, I did before he was born. I won’t lose to anyone in depth of love』
What are you saying, I wonder? I love him more.
『I love him more!』
No, I do.
『There’s no end to this. How about we say our love is so deep we can’t see each other’s bottom of it?』
That’s right, let us agree on that point. But just so you know, you can not see mine more.
『Gunuu-, your stubbornness at weird times hasn’t changed』
You have not changed as well, Aria-sama.
『Well yeah. Nee, Erina, the only thing we can do now is look, but I have something to say to you』
Let’s hear it.
『Thank you. And…. Good work』
…..Yes.
I have had a happy life.
――― Sirius ―――
The next day, we were at the flower garden we went on picknicking before.
As for why we bothered coming here, it’s because we are thinking about making a grave at the base of the tree that is in the middle of it.
In this world, funeral, apart from nobles, is done quietly, among family members. The remains are incinerated completely until there are only bones left, and the left bones are ground into small pieces. Because there were cases of remains absorbing mana and becoming zombies, this is a countermeasure for it. We also followed suit, and with a wooden box holding Erina’s powdered bones in one hand, we started digging a grave.
With no one exhaling a word, just siliently continuing to dig, we buried Erina.
「Aniki, here」(Reus)
Setting up the gravestone that Reus brought, I engrave the name with the mithril knife. Seems a bit desolate with just the name, maybe I should add something.
「Everyone, I want to engrave something more, do you have any suggestions?」(Sirius)
「Yeah」(Dee)
「Engraving your own name to another person’s grave is imprudent. Though I do want to engrave those thoughts of love」(Emilia) [5]
「Fumu… Then how’s this?」(Sirius)
Everyone consented to the words I engraved while nodding their heads. And we all offer a silient prayer at the end.
Thus ended Erina’s funeral.
I didn’t know my mother in my past life, and shishou, who picked me up and raised me, was just a guardian rather than a parent. [6]
Though even after being reborn I didn’t get to see my mother’s face, the one who taught me of a mother’s love was without a doubt, Erina.
In my past life I tasted sadness countless times, so thought I ran out tears but….I was able to cry, thinking of her.
It was a nostalgic sensation. I sincerely think, that mother’s love which caused me to remember it, is truly great.
Erina, who generously poured into me her pure and innocent love.
Erina, who continued supporting from behind for family’s sake, for my sake.
Farewell. Dear person, who taught me the warmth of a mother for the first time.
Please…Rest In Peace.
――― Words engraved on the gravestone ―――
『Herein lies…. One loved by the family, the loyal Erina』