Arc 1 – Chapter 6
"Gu Jing, I heard Nanny Wang said that tomato and pork liver soup is great for the blood, so I brought some for you. Want to try some?" Shen Jiayan placed the warmer box on Gu Jing's bed, his eyes filled with anticipation.
As to why he didn't say he'd made the soup himself? That was because he was afraid Gu Jing would reject his soup outright. Still, Gu Jing refused it anyways. "Shen Diyu, I've already said that things are impossible between us. You don't need to waste your time at my side."
Shen Jiayan was startled by his words and lowered his eyes. He blinked quickly as if holding back tears. "I wasn't expecting you to like me again, but the future's still so far off. How are you so certain that you won't love me again?"
The black cat swished its tail on one side as he circled around Shen Jiayan with astonishment. "Your Excellency Host, what's wrong with you?"
'I stared at Gu Jing for too long so my eyes hurt,' Shen Jiayan blinked a few more times. 'Don't worry, I'm fine now.'
The black cat stopped worrying. "That's good."
But Gu Jing had no idea of this face. He only told himself to ignore the man's expression and pretended he didn't even want to see him before giving a cold laugh. "Shen Diyu, don't you know that spilled water can't be recovered again?"
Shen Jiayan's peach blossom eyes had a hint of pleading in them as he reached for the food box. "At least you can try a taste of this soup, right?"
"No need, I don't want to," Gu Jing gulped a few times, but he held firm. He didn't dare to gamble when it was Shen Diyu's life on the line. The last thing he wanted was for this man to get in danger before of himself. Thus, his only choice was to reject him.
Shen Jiayan's tears trickled down his jade-white face even as he forced a smile. "Gu Jing, I've even poured the soup into a bowl for you. Just one sip to taste will be enough."
Gu Jing simply reached out and knocked Shen Jiayan's bowl aside. The blue and white porcelain shattered against the ground and broke into pieces. The pork liver and red tomato pieces were lost amidst the soup all over the ground. Fortunately, Shen Jiayan was too far away to be burnt by any of the liquid. Now his tears flowed down in full force, turning his nose red. Even if he tried, he couldn't suppress the soft whimper that came out once or twice from his throat. It was as if he was a small animal trying to lick its own wounds.
"Your Excellency Host, your acting skills have improved remarkably. Even I was touched by your crying just then," the black cat didn't hesitate to praise him, its eyes shining with admiration.
'I'm not acting, I'm actually in pain,' Shen Jiayan complained. 'Holding that food box just then set off my injuries. I'm in agony right now. Now Gu Jing's shoved me and aggravated the injury, so it hurts even more.'
"….." Heheh, I was overthinking things.
But the black cat wasn't the only one who misunderstood. Gu Jing held back from hugging Shen Jiayan from behind as his tone turned cold. "It's better if you hurry up and leave! I'm afraid someone will misunderstand if you stay here any longer."
Shen Jiayan stopped cleaning up to look at Gu Jing with his clean and teary gaze. "Someone will misunderstand? Are you talking about Xu Chenle?"
Gu Jing had no idea why Shen Jiayan would bring him up, but he could tell the idea affected him. Thus, he turned ruthless and admitted it. "Yes, I'm afraid he'll misunderstand."
"You really do like him," Shen Jiayan exhaled, his eyes red. But he still vowed all the same, "Gu Jing, it's fine if you don't like me. I still won't give up."
Gu Jing was actually at a loss for what to do. The man before him was weak and prone to injury, but also very stubborn. No matter how you refused him, he still looked ready to ram himself against a wall to declare his love. Could anyone really be cruel enough to refuse advances from this kind of Shen Diyu?
—
The first day, Gu Jing rejected Shen Jiayan's tomato and pork liver soup. The second day, Shen Jiayan came with as well as a fresh, tender rose.
Shen Diyu's father had been displeased at first, but brightened at the sight of his son buying a rose. That's right, my son. If you have to be with a man, at least make sure you're the top! See that? That's how I chased after your mother! Good, you really are my son!
Thus, even Gu Jing's hopes that the Shen father would keep them apart dissipated into dust. Shen Jiayan had just offered Gu Jing the black chicken soup when the latter handed it off to Xu Chenle, who was standing to the side after coming over to visit.
"Come, your body's no good. Haven't you been coughing recently too? Drink some chicken soup to buff up."
Xu Chenle glanced at the silent Shen Jiayan and wanted to refuse. "Boss, I haven't been…" Coughing recently, ah.
"Drink it up. Otherwise you'll lose your salary," Gu Jing threatened in full view of Shen Jiayan.
"……." said Xu Chenle. Who did I provoke this time? Why is this couple dragging me into their arguments?
Xu Chenle had hardly drank a sip before his expression blanched. The person who made the soup had neglected to skim the oil afterwards, so now his mouth was full of grease. He almost choked at the taste. And it seemed like the chicken wasn't plucked very cleanly either. In fact, one of its tiny feathers seemed to be stuck in his throat, making it itch.
Xu Chenle set down the bowl. Even if it was his salary at stake, he wasn't going to drink anything that strange ever again. After all, his life was more important.
"Boss, you should chat with young master Shen. I'll go back first," Xu Chenle declared before slipping out the door.
Gu Jing turned to observed Shen Jiayan's reaction. He had a very pale face that was almost a translucent white. The dark circles beneath his eyes were obvious signs that he hadn't rested well last night.
Was it because of what I said?
Gu Jing's guilty conscience and self-blame threatened to drown him. Diyu, just wait a bit longer. Once all this is over, I'll cherish you well for sure. Then we can be together for the rest of our lives. When that time comes, you can beat or punish me all you want. I won't say a word.
Shen Jiayan's lips were a bit pale and dry. He licked them before he spoke. "Gu Jing, do you want to try this black chicken soup today? If not, then I'll make something else tomorrow."
Gu Jing's entire boy stiffened at the words. He never expected Shen Diyu, who hadn't done anything for him even when he was passionately in love, to suddenly start making him food personally. A choking sensation rose in his throat as warmth spread from his chest. For a second, he couldn't speak.
Shen Jiayan tilted his head and asked doubtfully, "Gu Jing?"
The call reminded Gu Jing that he had to keep Shen Diyu out of this mess no matter how well the man treated him. He dumped the contents of the bowl straight onto the floor along with the rose. The two of them mixed into a mess on the ground.
Looking at Shen Jiayan, Gu Jing declared, word for word, "Can't you see that Chenle didn't like it? Then why keep making them? And the rose–do you think a man like me would like roses?"
Gu Jing believed that to bring up someone else when a person was in love with you was the worst form of humiliation. But he never expected Shen Jiayan to show up again by the third day. This time he simply made some . It was obvious at a glance that he'd worked hard, because the soup was white and clear with a fragrant aroma.
This time, Shen Jiayan took out two bowls and gave one to Xu Chenle first. A little nervous, he asked, "How's the taste of this soup?"
Xu Chenle tried it while convinced that he would die, but realized the flavor wasn't half bad. It was clear and refreshing, while the spareribs had been boiled to perfection. He couldn't help but give him a thumbs up. "Not bad, it tastes great."
Shen Jiayan then looked at Gu Jing with shining eyes, a sweet smile playing upon his features. "Gu Jing, look. Xu Chenle said it tasted good this time. Then how about you drink a bowlful too?"
In that moment, Gu Jing almost wanted to cry. Because love could turn a person into the basest, lowest being, but what virtue did he have to reduce Shen Diyu to someone like this? Gu Jing took a deep breath as his hands clenched into fists. He didn't even feel it when his nails pierced through his skin. This was the first time he realized that hurting someone who really care about you could pain yourself more than them.
Still, he had no other choice.
"Shen Diyu, I, Gu Jing, will never graze on old grass.[1] Do you understand what I mean?" He didn't accept the bowl of soup from Shen Jiayan's hands. "Shen Diyu, if you have even an ounce of self-worth left, then never come to this hospital again. Alright?"
Shen Jiayan placed the bowl of soup by the bedside table in silence. Soon enough, he recovered his spirits. "Gu Jing, if you don't like this soup, then in the future I'll make you–"
"Enough." Gu Jing's throat shook. "Shen Diyu, I won't like anything you make because I don't like you! Do you get it now?!"
As Gu Jing finished speaking, he saw Shen Diyu's eyes dim. Finally, the man broke into a faint smile and said, somewhat despairingly, "I understand, Gu Jing."
In a flash, it felt as if a knife had stabbed Gu Jing through the heart.
༺ Chapter Glossary ༻
[1] never graze on old grass (不吃回头草) – bu chi hui tou cao, an idiom that means to never take back what one has discarded. Literally means to keep eating the grass in front of you, not behind.
Translator's Note: This novel is pretty simple and straightforward, but I can't help but think: Gu Jing, why don't you just tell him your plan? I'm sure Shen Jiayan/Shen Diyu would've played along just fine! Tsk, tsk. Well, the finale and epilogue are coming up soon, so have those tissues handy lol.