_Dull._ No, unless he means to be paid for drinking with us,--ha, ha, ha.
_Haz._ No, Sir, I have money to pay for what I drink: here's my Club, my Guinea, [Flings down a Guinea.
I scorn to be oblig'd to such Scoundrels.
_Booz._ Hum--call Men of Honour Scoundrels. [Rise in huff.
_Tim._ Let him alone, let him alone, Brother; how should he learn Manners? he never was in _Virginia_ before.
_Dull._ He's some Covent-Garden Bully.
_Tim._ Or some broken Citizen turned Factor.
_Haz._ Sir, you lye, and you are a Rascal.
[Flings the Brandy in his Face.
_Tim._ Adz zoors, he has spil'd all the Brandy.
[_Tim._ runs behind the Door, _Dull_, and _Booz._ strike _Hazard_.
_Haz._ I understand no Cudgel-play, but wear a Sword to right myself.
[Draws, they run off.
_Flirt._ Good Heavens! what, quarelling in my House?
_Haz._ Do the Persons of Quality in this Country treat Strangers thus?
_Flirt._ Alas, Sir, 'tis a familiar way they have, Sir.
_Haz._ I'm glad I know it.--Pray, Madam, can you inform one how I may be furnish'd with a Horse and a Guide to Madam _Surelove's_?
_Flirt._ A most accomplish'd Lady, and my very good Friend, you shall be immediately--
[Exeunt.
SCENE II. The Council-Table.
Enter _Wellman_, _Downright_, _Dunce_, _Whimsey_, _Whiff_, and others.
_Well._ Come, Mr. _Dunce_, though you are no Counsellor, yet your Counsel may be good in time of Necessity, as now.
_Dun._ If I may give worthy Advice, I do not look upon our Danger to be so great from the _Indians_, as from young _Bacon_, whom the People have nick-nam'd _Fright-all_.
_Whim._ Ay, ay, that same _Bacon_, I would he were well hang'd: I am afraid that under pretence of killing all the _Indians_ he means to murder us, lie with our Wives, and hang up our little Children, and make himself Lord and King.
_Whiff._ Brother _Whimsey_, not so hot; with leave of the honourable Board, my Wife is of opinion, that _Bacon_ came seasonably to our Aid, and what he has done was for our Defence, the _Indians_ came down upon us, and ravish'd us all, Men, Women, and Children.
_Well._ If these Grievances were not redrest, we had our Reasons for it; it was not that we were insensible, Captain _Whiff_, of what we suffer'd from the Insolence of the _Indians_; but all knew what we must expect from _Bacon_, if that by lawful Authority he had arrived to so great a Command as General; nor would we be hufft out of our Commissions.
_Down._ 'Tis most certain that _Bacon_ did not demand a Commission out of a design of serving us, but to satisfy his Ambition and his Love; it being no secret that he passionately admires the _Indian_ Queen, and under the pretext of a War, intends to kill the King her Husband, establish himself in her Heart, and on all occasions make himself a more formidable Enemy than the Indians are.
_Whim._ Nay, nay, I ever foresaw he would prove a Villain.
_Whiff._ Nay, and he be thereabout, my _Nancy_ shall have no more to do with him.
_Well._ But, Gentlemen, the People daily flock to him, so that his Army is too considerable for us to oppose by any thing but Policy.
_Down._ We are sensible, Gentlemen, that our Fortunes, our Honours, and our Lives are at stake; and therefore you are call'd together to consult what's to be done in this Grand Affair, till our Governour and Forces arrive from _England_: the Truce he made with the _Indians_ will be out to morrow.
_Whiff._ Ay, and then he intends to have another bout with the _Indians_. Let's have patience, I say, till he has thrumb'd their Jackets, and then to work with your Politicks as soon as you please.
_Down._ Colonel _Wellman_ has answer'd that point, good Captain _Whiff_; 'tis the Event of this Battel we ought to dread; and if won or lost, will be equally fatal for us, either from the _Indians_ or from _Bacon_.
_Dun._ With the Permission of the honourable Board, I think I have hit upon an Expedient that may prevent this Battel: your Honours shall write a Letter to _Bacon_, where you shall acknowledge his Services, invite him kindly home, and offer him a Commission for General--
_Whiff._ Just my _Nancy's_ Counsel--Dr. _Dunce_ has spoken like a Cherubin, he shall have my Voice for General; what say you, Brother _Whimsey_?
_Down._ I say he is a Noble Fellow, and fit for a General.
_Dun._ But conceive me right, Gentlemen; as soon as he shall have render'd himself, seize him, and strike off his Head at the Fort.
_Whiff._ Hum! his Head--Brother.
_Whim._ Ay, ay, Dr. _Dunce_ speaks like a Cherubin.
_Well._ Mr. _Dunce_, your Counsel in extremity, I confess, is not amiss; but I should be loth to deal dishonourably with any Man.
_Down._ His Crimes deserve Death, his Life is forfeited by Law, but shall never be taken by my consent by Treachery: If by any Stratagem we could take him alive, and either send him for _England_ to receive there his Punishment, or keep him Prisoner here till the Governour arrive, I should agree to it; but I question his coming in upon our Invitation.
_Dun._ Leave that to me.
_Whim._ Come, I'll warrant him, the Rogue's as stout as _Hector_, he fears neither Heaven nor Hell.
_Down._ He's too brave and bold to refuse our Summons, and I am for sending him for _England_, and leaving him to the King's Mercy.
_Dun._ In that you'll find more difficulty, Sir; to take him off here will be more quick and sudden: for the People worship him.
_Well._ I'll never yield to so ungenerous an Expedient. The seizing him I am content in the Extremity wherein we are to follow. What say you, Colonel _Downright_? shall we send him a Letter now, while this two days Truce lasts, between him and the _Indians_?
_Down._ I approve it.
_All._ And I, and I, and I.
_Dun._ If your Honours please to make me the Messenger, I'll use some Arguments of my own to prevail with him.
_Well._ You say well, Mr. _Dunce_, and we'll dispatch you presently.
[Ex. _Well._ _Down._ and all but _Whim._ _Whiff._ and _Dunce_.
_Whiff._ Ah, Doctor, if you could but have persuaded Colonel _Wellman_ and Colonel _Downright_ to have hanged him--