_Cler_. Stark drunk! Sirrah, if you trouble me at every Mistake of yours thus, you shall quit your Office.
_Off_. I beg your Pardon, Sir, I am a little in Drink I confess--a little blind and mad--Sir, --This must be the Devil, that's certain.
[_The_ Clerk _goes out_.
[Har. _puts up his Calash again, and pulls off his Frock and drives out_.
--Well, now to my thinking, 'tis as plain a Calash again as ever I saw in my Life, and yet I'm satisfy'd 'tis nothing but a Cart.
[_Ex_.
SCENE II. _Changes to the_ Doctor's _House. The Hall_.
_Enter_ Scaramouch _in a Chair, which is set down and open'd on all sides, and on the top represents an Apothecary's Shop, the Inside being painted with Shelves, and rows of Pots and Bottles_; Scaramouch _sitting in it dress'd in Black, with a short black Cloke, a Ruff, and little Hat_.
_Scar_. The Devil's in't, if either the Doctor, my Master, or _Mopsophil_, know me in this Disguise--And thus I may not only gain my Mistress, and out-wit _Harlequin_, but deliver the Ladies those Letters from their Lovers, which I took out of his Pocket this Morning; and who wou'd suspect an Apothecary for a Pimp?--Nor can the Jade _Mopsophil_, in Honour, refuse a Person of my Gravity, and so well set up.-- [_Pointing to his Shop_.
--Hum, the Doctor here first, this is not so well, but I'm prepar'd with Impudence for all Encounters.
_Enter the_ Doctor. Scaramouch _salutes him gravely_.
--Most Reverend Doctor _Baliardo_. [_Bows_.
_Doct_. Seignior-- [_Bows_.
_Scar_. I might through great Pusillanimity, blush to give you this Anxiety, did not I opine you were as gracious as communicative and eminent; and though you have no Cognisance of me, your humble Servant,--yet I have of you,--you being so gravely fam'd for your admirable Skill both in Galenical and Paracelsian _Phaenomena's_, and other approv'd Felicities in Vulnerary Emeticks, and purgative Experiences.
_Doct_. Seignior,--your Opinion honours me--rare Man this.
_Scar_. And though I am at present busied in writing--those few Observations I have accumulated in my Peregrinations, Sir; yet the Ambition I aspir'd to, of being an ocular and aurial Witness of your Singularity, made me trespass on your sublimer Affairs.
_Doct_. Seignior--
_Scar_.--Besides a violent Inclination, Sir, of being initiated into the Denomination of your learned Family, by the Conjugal Circumference of a Matrimonial Tye, with that singularly accomplish'd Person--Madam, the Governante of your Hostel--
_Doct_. Hum--A Sweet-heart for _Mopsophil_! [_Aside_.
_Scar_. And if I may obtain your Condescension to my Hymenaeal Propositions, I doubt not my Operation with the Fair One.
_Doct_. Seignior, she's much honour'd in the Overture, and my Abilities shall not be wanting to fix the Concord.--But have you been a Traveller, Sir?
_Scar_. Without Circumlocutions, Sir, I have seen all the Regions beneath the Sun and Moon.
_Doct_. Moon, Sir! You never travell'd thither, Sir?
_Scar_. Not in _Propria Persona, Seignior_, but by Speculation, I have, and made most considerable Remarks on that incomparable _Terra Firma_, of which I have the compleatest Map in Christendom--and which _Gonzales_ himself omitted in his _Cosmographia_ of the _Lunar Mundus_.
_Doct_. A Map of the _Lunar Mundus_, Sir! may I crave the Honour of seeing it?
_Scar_. You shall, Sir, together with a Map of _Terra Incognita_; a great Rarity, indeed, Sir.
_Enter_ Bellemante.
_Doct_. Jewels, Sir, worth a King's Ransom!
_Bell_. Ha,--What Figure of a Thing have we here, bantering my credulous Uncle?--This must be some Scout sent from our _Forlorn Hope_, to discover the Enemy, and bring in fresh Intelligence.--Hum, that Wink tipt me some Tidings, and she deserves not a good Look, who understands not the Language of the Eyes.--Sir, Dinner's on the Table.
_Doct_. Let it wait, I am employ'd--
[_She creeps to the other side of_ Scaramouch, _who makes Signs with his Hand to her_.
_Bell_. Ha, 'tis so:--This Fellow has some Novel for us, some Letter or Instructions, but how to get it--
[_As_ Scar. _talks to the_ Doctor, _he takes the Letters by degrees out of his Pocket, and unseen, given 'em_ Bellemante _behind him_.
_Doct_. But this Map, Seignior; I protest you have fill'd me with Curiosity. Has it signify'd all things so exactly, say you?
_Scar_. Omitted nothing, Seignior, no City, Town, Village, or Villa; no Castle, River, Bridge, Lake, Spring, or Mineral.
_Doct_. Are any, Sir, of those admirable Mineral Waters there, so frequent in our World?
_Scar_. In abundance, Sir: the Famous _Garamanteen_, a young _Italian_, Sir, lately come from thence, gives an account of an excellent _Scaturigo_, that has lately made an Ebulation there, in great Reputation with the Lunary Ladies.
_Doct_. Indeed, Sir! be pleas'd, Seignior, to 'solve me some Queries that may enode some appearances of the Virtue of the Water you speak of.
_Scar_. Pox upon him, what Questions he asks--but I must on. [_Aside_.]
Why, Sir, you must know,--the Tincture of this Water upon Stagnation ceruleates, and the Crocus upon the Stones flaveces; this he observes --to be, Sir, the Indication of a generous Water.
_Doct_. Hum-- [_Gravely nodding_.
_Scar_. Now, Sir, be pleas'd to observe the three Regions: if they be bright, without doubt _Mars_ is powerful; if the middle Region or Camera be palled, _Filia Solis_ is breeding.
_Doct_. Hum.
_Scar_. And then the third Region, if the Faeces be volatile, the Birth will soon come _in Balneo_. This I observed also in the Laboratory of that ingenious Chymist _Lysidono_, and with much Pleasure animadverted that Mineral of the same Zenith and Nadir, of that now so famous Water in _England_, near that famous Metropolis, call'd _Islington_.
_Doct_. Seignior--
_Scar_. For, Sir, upon the Infusion, the Crows Head immediately procures the Seal of _Hermes_; and had not _Lac Virginis_ been too soon suck'd up, I believe we might have seen the Consummation of _Amalgama_.
[Bellemante _having got her Letters, goes off. She makes Signs to him to stay a little. He nods_.
_Doct_. Most likely, Sir.
_Scar_. But, Sir, this _Garamanteen_ relates the strangest Operation of a Mineral in the Lunar World, that ever I heard of.
_Doct_. As how, I pray, Sir?