_Lam._ Lights there, a Plot, a Popish Plot, Lights!
_L. Lam._ The Crown, the Crown, guard the Crown!
[She groping about, finds _Lov._ by his Clothes, knows him.
--Here, take this Key, the next room is my Bed-chamber, Secure yourself a moment.-- [Ex. _Loveless_.
Lights there, the Crown-- who art thou?
[Takes hold of _Lam._
_Lam._ 'Tis I.
_L. Lam._ Ah, my Lord, what's the matter?--
_Lam._ Nay, my Lady, I ask you what's the matter?
Enter _Page_ with Lights.
By Heaven, all is not well; hark ye, my fine she Politician, who was it you had hid beneath this Carpet?
_L. Lam._ Heav'ns! dost hear him, _Gilliflower_? Sure the Fellow's mad.
_Gill._ Alack, my Lord, are you out of your honourable Wits? Heav'n knows, my Lady was at her Devotion.
_Lam._ Baud, come, confess thy self to be one. At her Devotion! yes, with a He Saint.
_Gill._ Ah! Gad forbid the Saints should be so wicked.
_L. Lam._ Hark ye, thou little sniveling Hypocrite, who hast no Virtue but a little Conduct in Martial Discipline; who hast by Perjuries, Cheats, and pious Villanies, wound thy self up into the Rabble's Favour, where thou mayst stand till some more great in Roguery remove thee from that height, or to the Gallows, if the King return: hast thou the Impudence to charge my Virtue?
_Lam._ I know not, Madam, whether that Virtue you boast were lost, or only stak't, and ready for the Gamester; but I am sure a Man was hid under this Carpet.
_L. Lam._ Oh Heav'ns, a Man!
_Gill._ Lord, a Man! Are you sure 'twas a Man, my Lord?-- Some villanous Malignant, I'll warrant.
_Lam._ It may be so.
_Gill._ Alack, the Wickedness of these Heroicks to hide under Carpets; why they'l have the impudence to hide under our Petticoats shortly, if your Highness take 'em not down.
[To Lady _Lam._
_Lam._ I do believe so; Death-- a Cuckold? shall that black Cloud shade all my rising Fame?
_L. Lam._ Cuckold! Why, is that Name so great a Stranger to ye, Or has your rising Fame made ye forget How long that Cloud has hung upon your Brow?
--'Twas once the height of your Ambition, Sir; When you were a poor-sneaking Slave to _Cromwell_, Then you cou'd cringe, and sneer, and hold the Door, And give him every Opportunity, Had not my Piety defeated your Endeavours.
_Lam._ That was for Glory, Who wou'd not be a Cuckold to be great?
--If _Cromwell_ leap'd into my Saddle once, I'll step into his Throne for't: but, to be pointed at By Rascals that I-- rule-- 'tis insupportable.
_L. Lam._ How got this Fellow drunk? call up my Officers!
Who durst deliver him this quantity of Wine?
Send strait in my Name, to summon all the Drunken Committee of Safety into my Presence.
By Heav'n, I'll show you, Sir-- yes they shall See what a fine King they're like to have In Honest, Gadly, Sober, Wise _Jack Lambert_.
--Nay, I'll do't; d'ye think to take away my Honour thus?
I, who by my sole Politicks and Management Have set you up, Villain of Villains, Sirrah.
--Away-- summon 'em all. [To _Gilliflower_.
_Lam._ Stay-- be not so rash; who was beneath the Carpet?
_L. Lam._ I will not answer thee.
_Lam._ Nor any living thing?
_L. Lam._ No Creature in the Room, thou silly Ideot, but _Gilliflower_ and I-- at our Devotion, praying to Heav'n for your Success to morrow-- and am I thus rewarded?
[Weeps, _Gill._ weeps too.
_Lam._ My Soul, I cannot bear the Sight of Tears From these dear Charming Eyes.
_L. Lam._ No matter, Sir, the Committee shall right me.
_Lam._ Upon my Knees I ask thy Pardon, Dear; by all that's good, I wou'd have sworn I'd felt something stir beneath me as I sat, which threw me over.
_L. Lam._ Only your Brains turn'd round with too much drinking and dancing, Exercises you are not us'd to-- go sleep, and settle 'em, for I'll not deign to Bed with you to night-- retire, as e'er you hope to have my Aid in your Advancement to the Crown.
_Lam._ I'm gone-- and once more pardon my Mistake.
[Bows, and goes out. Ex. _Gill._
_L. Lam._ --So, this fighting Fool, so worshipp'd by the Rabble, How meanly can a Woman make him sneak?-- The happy Night's our own-- [To _Loveless_.
Enter _Gill._ _Loveless_.
_Lov._ Excellent Creature, how I do adore thee!
_L. Lam._ But you, perhaps, are satisfied already--
_Lov._ Never; shou'dst thou be kind to all Eternity. Thou hast one Virtue more, I pay thee Homage for; I heard from the Alcove how great a Mistress thou art in the dear Mystery of Jilting.
_L. Lam._ That's the first Lesson Women learn in Conventicles, Religion teaches those Maxims to our Sex: by this _Kings are deposed, and Commonwealths are rul'd; By Jilting all the Universe is fool'd._ [Exeunt.
ACT V.
SCENE I. _A Street._
Enter _Corporal_, half drest; with Soldiers, Joyner, and Felt-maker.
_Cor._ Ha, Rogues, the City-Boys are up in Arms; brave Boys, all for the King now!