_L. Lam._ Ah, _Desbro_! thou art come in the most lucky Minute-- I was just on the point of falling-- As thou say'st, these Heroicks have the strangest Power--
_L. Des._ I never knew a Woman cou'd resist 'em.
_L. Lam._ No marvel then, our Husbands use 'em so, betray 'em, banish 'em, sequester, murder 'em, and every way disarm 'em--
_L. Des._ But their Eyes, Madam.
_L. Lam._ Ay, their Eyes, _Desbro_; I wonder our Lords shou'd take away their Swords, and let 'em wear their Eyes.
_L. Des._ I'll move it to the Committee of Safety, Madam, those Weapons should be taken from 'em too.
_L. Lam._ Still they'll have some to be reveng'd on us.
_L. Des._ Ay, so they will will; My Lord says, a Cavalier is a kind of _Hydra_, knock him o'th' Head as often as you will, he has still one to peep up withal.
Enter _Page_.
_Page._ Madam, here's Mr. _Freeman_ to speak with your Honour.
_Lov._ That's a Friend of mine, Madam, and 'twou'd be unnecessary he saw your Highness and I together: let us withdraw--
_L. Lam._ Withdraw! why, what will _Desbro_ say?
_L. Des._ O Madam, I know your Virtue and your Piety too well to suspect your Honour wrongfully: 'tis impossible a Lady that goes to a Conventicle twice a Day, besides long Prayers and loud Psalm-- singing, shou'd do any thing with an Heroick against her Honour. Your known Sanctity preserves you from Scandal-- But here's _Freeman_-- [Puts 'em in.
Enter _Freeman_.
_Free._ So, Madam-- you are very kind--
_L. Des._ My charming _Freeman_, this tedious Day of Absence has been an Age in love. How hast thou liv'd without me?
_Free._ Like one condemn'd, sad and disconsolate, And all the while you made your Husband happy.
_L. Des._ Name not the Beastly Hypocrite, thou know'st I made no other use of him, But a dull Property to advance our Love.
_Free._ And 'tis but Justice, _Maria_, he sequester'd me of my whole Estate, because, he said, I took up Arms in _Ireland_, on Noble _Ormond's_ Side; nay, hir'd Rogues, perjur'd Villains-- Witnesses with a Pox, to swear it too; when at that time I was but Eight Years Old; but I escap'd as well as all the Gentry and Nobility of _England_. To add to this, he takes my Mistress too.
_L. Des._ You mistake, my lovely _Freeman_; I married only thy Estate, the best Composition I cou'd make for thee, and I will pay it back with Interest too.
_Free._ You wou'd suspect my Love then, and swear that all the Adoration I pay you, were, as we do to Heav'n, for Interest only.
_L. Des._ How you mistake my Love, but do so still, so you will let me give these-- Proofs of it.
[Gives him Gold.
_Free._ Thus, like _Atlante_, you drop Gold in my Pursuit To Love, I may not over-take you: What's this to giving me one happy minute?
Take back your Gold, and give me current Love, The Treasure of your Heart, not of your Purse-- When shall we meet, _Maria_?
_L. Des._ You know my leisure Hours are when my Honourable Lord is busied in Affairs of State, or at his Prayers; from which long-winded Exercise I have of late withdrawn my self: three Hours by the Clock he prays extemporary, which is, for National and Household Blessings: For the first-- 'tis to confound the Interest of the King, that the Lard wou'd deliver him, his Friends, Adherers and Allies, wheresoever scatter'd about the Face of the whole Earth, into the Clutches of the Righteous: Press 'em, good Lard, even as the Vintager doth the Grape in the Wine-Press, till the Waters and gliding Channels are made red with the Blood of the Wicked.
[In a Tone.
_Free._ And grant the Faithful to be mighty, and to be strong in Persecution; and more especially, ah! I beseech thee confound that malignant Tory _Freeman_-- that he may never rise up in judgment against thy Servant, who has taken from him his Estate, his Sustenance and Bread; give him Grace of thy infinite Mercy, to hang himself, if thy People can find no zealous Witnesses to swear him to the Gallows legally. Ah, we have done very much for thee, Lard, thou shoud'st consider us thy Flock, and we shou'd be as good to thee in another thing.
[In a Tone.
_L. Des._ Thou hit'st the zealous Twang right; sure thou hast been acquainted with some of 'em.
_Free._ Damn 'em, no; what honest Man wou'd keep 'em Company, where harmless Wit and Mirth's a Sin, laughing scandalous, and a merry Glass Abomination?
_L. Des._ Yes, if you drink Healths, my wicked Brother: otherwise, to be silently drunk, to be as abusive and satirical as you please, upon the Heroicks, is allowable-- for laughing, 'tis not indeed so well; but the precise Sneer and Grin is lawful; no swearing indeed, but lying and dissimulation in abundance. I'll assure you, they drink as deep, and entertain themselves as well with this silent way of leud Debauchery, as you with all your Wit and Mirth, your Healths of the Royal Family.
_Free._ Nay, I confess, 'tis a great Pleasure to cheat the World.
_L. Des._ 'Tis Power, as divine _Hobbes_ calls it.
_Free._ But what's all this to Love? Where shall we meet anon?
_L. Des._ I'll tell you, what will please you as well-- Your Friend is within with her Highness that shall be, if the Devil and her Husband's Politicks agree about the matter.
_Free._ Ha, has my cautious Railer manag'd matters so slyly?
_L. Des._ No, no, the matter was manag'd to his Hand; you see how Heav'n brings things about, for the Good of your Party; this Business will be worth to him at least a thousand Pound a year, or two, well manag'd-- But see, my Lady's Woman.
_Gil._ Oh, Madam, my Lord-- [Running cross the Stage into her Lady's Chamber.
_Free._ Death, how shall I bring my Friend off? he'll certainly be ruin'd.
Enter _Gill._ _Lov._ and Lady _Lam._
_Gill._ Madam, he's coming up.
_Lov._ Madam, for my self I care not, but am much concern'd for you.
[L. _Lam._ takes two Papers out of her Pocket, and gives 'em to _Lov._ and _Free_.
_L. Lam._ Here take these two Petitions, each of you one-- Poor Fellows-- you may be gone, your Petitions will not be granted.
Enter _Lambert_.
_Lam._ How now, my Dear, what Petitions?-- Friends, what's your Bus'ness?
_L. Lam._ 'Tis enough we know their Business, Love, we are sufficient to dispatch such Suiters, I hope.
_Lam._ Pardon me, my Dear, I thought no harm; but I saw you frown, and that made me concern'd.
_L. Lam._ Frown! 'Twou'd make any Body frown, to hear the Impudence of Gentlemen, these Cavaliers-- wou'd you think it, my Dear, if this Fellow has not the Impudence to petition for the Thirds of his Estate again, so justly taken from him for bearing Arms for the Man?--
_L. Des._ Nay, I'm inform'd, that they, but two Nights ago, in a Tavern, drunk a Health to the Man too.
_Lam._ How durst you, Sirrah, approach my Lady with any such saucy Address? you have receiv'd our Answer.
_Lov._ Death, I have scarce Patience. [Aside.