"What, again? Hang it, Jack, don't repeat yourself. This is the third time that you've repeated those words _verbatim_."
"Is it? Did I? Odd, too. Fact is, I believe I made up that sentence for my letter to Number Three, and I suppose I've got it by heart. At any rate, it's all right You see I had three explanations to make, and they all had to be full, frank, ample, satisfactory, and all the rest of those words, you know. But it's awfully hard work. It's wearing on the constitution. It destroys the nervous system. I tell you what it is, old chap--I'm serious--if this sort of thing is to go on, hang it, I'll die of exhaustion."
"So that was the end of your troubles for that day?"
"Well--yes--but not the end of my day. I got away from the widow by eight o'clock, and then trotted over to Louie."
"Louie?"
"Yes, Louie. Why, man--why not?"
"What, after the late mitten?"
"Mitten? of course. What do you suppose I care for that? Isn't Louie the best friend I have? Isn't she my only comfort? Doesn't she give magnificent advice to a fellow, and all that? Louie? Why, man alive, it's the only thing I have to look forward to! Of course. Well, you see, Louie was luckily disengaged. The other girls were at whist with their father and the aunt. So I had Louie to myself."
"I hope you didn't do the sentimental again."
"Sentimental? Good Lord! hadn't I been overwhelmed and choked with sentiment all day long? Sentiment? Of all the bosh--but, never mind.
Louie at least didn't bother me in that way. Yes, it's a fact, Macrorie, she's got an awful knack of giving comfort to a fellow."
"Comfort?"
"Well, I can't exactly explain it."
"I suppose she was very sad, and sympathetic, and all that. At any rate, she didn't know the real trouble that you'd been having?"
"Didn't she, though?"
"No, of course not; how could she?"
"Why, she began questioning me, you know."
"Questioning you?"
"Yes--about--the three oranges, you know."
"Well, and how did you manage to fight her off?"
"Fight her off?"
"Yes."
"Why, I couldn't."
"Couldn't?"
"No."
"Nonsense! A fellow that could baffle the widow, wouldn't have any trouble in baffling Louie."
"Oh, that's all very well; but you don't know the peculiar way she goes to work. She's such an awful tease. And she keeps at it too, like a good fellow."
"Still you were safe from her by reason of the very fact that your daily adventures were things that you _could_ not tell her."
"Couldn't I, though?"
"Of course not."
"I don't see why not."
"Impossible."
"But I _did_."
"You did?"
"I did."
"To Louie?"
"Yes, to Louie."
Again my thoughts and feelings found expression in a whistle.
"You see," resumed Jack, "she badgered and questioned, and teased and teased, till at last she got it all out of me. And the way she took it!
Laughing all the time, the provoking little witch, her eyes dancing with fun, and her soul in a perfect ecstasy over my sorrows. I was quiet at first, but at length got huffy. You see if she cared for a fellow she ought to pity him instead of laughing at him."
"But she doesn't pretend to care for you--and lucky for her too."
"That's true," said Jack, dolefully.
"But what did she say about it?"
"Say? Oh, she teased and teased, and then when she had pumped me dry she burst out into one of her fits-and then I got huffy-and she at once pretended to be very demure, the little sinner, though I saw her eyes twinkling with fun all the time. And at last she burst out:
"'Oh, Captain Randolph! You're so awfully absurd. I can't help it, I must laugh. Now ain't you awfully funny? Confess. Please confess, Captain Randolph. Ple-e-e-ease do, like a good Captain Randolph.
Ple-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-ease!'
"So my grim features relaxed, and I looked benignly at her, whereupon she burst out laughing again in my face.
"'Well, I can't help it, I'm sure,' she said. 'You do look so droll.
You try to make me laugh, and I laugh, and can't help it, and then you blame me for doing the very thing you make me do, and I think it's a shame--there, now."
"Whereupon she began to pout, and look hurt, and so, you know, I had to go to work and explain to her."
"What! not another explanation, I hope. A 'full, frank, free, fresh, ample,' and all that sort of thing, I suppose."
"Oh, bother, chaff! I'm in earnest. I merely explained that I didn't take any offence from her laughter, but that I thought that if she cared for a fellow she wouldn't laugh at him.