"They don't know what I'm doing here," he said defensively.
"All I told Natasha was that we were making a film."
"To hell with that. Listen, Rick. You know the score. We're on a military telephone exchange, for fuck's sake. One look at the number must have told them where we are.
To ease my feelings I started walking up and down.
"Things aren't looking good for you," I said.
"This is the third time you've screwed up. I told you before and that was a last warning. I've got a feeling you're on your way home. And if this doesn't end in your getting RTU'd I'll be bloody amazed."
He started to say something, but I cut him short.
"Don't bloody well argue! There'll be time for that back in the UK. Get down to the armoury and tell Sasha I'm not coming out with the team this morning. I'm going to have to stay here and sort this mess out. In fact, you can ask Sasha to put am hour's delay on the start today. If any of our lads are down there already, bring them back. Tell them I'm holding a meeting immediately."
He'd hardly disappeared before I made up my mind. Yes he'd have to go. He'd already done serious damage, and was too great a liability.
I called the Embassy, asked for the Charge, and got put through to Kate, the red-headed secretary.
"Is David there?" I asked.
"Not yet. He had to pick something up on his way in."
"Could you do us a favour, then?"
"I can try."
"Thanks. It's just that we need to get someone back to UK soonest. I want him on a plane today. Could you be an angel and book a ticket?"
"Return?"
"No one way.
"What's the passenger's name?"
"Ellis. Richard Ellis."
"What flight shall I go for?"
"Any flight the earliest he can catch. He'll have to get from here to the airport, that's all."
"All right, then. I'll call you back."
I urgently needed to speak to the CO in Hereford, but the time there was still only 6:30 a.m." so I decided to wait until he came into his office.
When Kate rang back, she gave me another jolt.
"I'm sorry, she said, "I can't get through to any of the airlines. The reservation lines are all jammed."
"Is that normal?"
"Certainly not. I phoned a friend in the Lufthansa cargo department, and she says there's some sort of a panic on. People are trying to get out of Moscow in a hurry. There are no seats available before next Thursday."
"Jesus! It must be this thing about the American Ambassador."
"That's right. There's a lot of really nervous talk coming out of the FCO."
"Like what?"
"The international situation deteriorating, that sort of thing' "Well, listen. I really need this guy on a plane as soon as possible. Can you keep trying?"
"Of course.
Ten minutes later she rang again and said, "I got through in the end, but no luck. I tried BA, Aeroflot and Lufthansa, and they're all fully booked. There are no seats available before next week. The only chance is to send him first class. Lufthansa may have a seat at 1520 this afternoon, but it's via Berlin, I'm afraid."
"That'll do," I said.
"Take it." Privately I was thinking, I don't care if he goes via Timbucfuckingtoo, as long as I get him off my hands. The idea of Rick sipping champagne in a first-class seat gave me a royal pain in the arse. But then I consoled myself by thinking, If he's getting binned, back to the Green Army, it's the last time he'll be travelling like that for a while.
"I'll charge it to the Embassy for now," Kate was saying.
"Then we'll send the bill to Hereford. He'll have to collect the ticket from the Lufthansa desk at the airport. He needs to be there by 1400 at the latest."
"No bother. I'm very grateful to you. Has David appeared yet?"
"Just this moment. D'you want a word?"
"Yes please.
I hung on, then heard AlIway say, "Good morning."
"Good morning," I went.
"Can you fill me in on what's happening?"
"The situation's pretty confused at the moment."
"What's causing the panic?"
"Clinton said something about Russia being on the point of becoming ungovernable."
"Don't you feel that's exaggerated?"
"Personally, yes.
"So what line's London taking?"
"No special line yet. But Washington is advising Americans to leave unless they have urgent business here. Are you people all right out at Balashika?"
"For the time being. Everything's been going fine. I don't know how this will affect things, though."
"No," AlIway said cryptically.
"I get the impression that your team may be off home fairly soon.
"Oh, really?" I went.
"We'll have to wait and see.
I rang off, and called Hereford on the secure satellite link. By good luck the CO was already at his desk, and sounding cheerful.
"Hi, Geordie," he went.
"How are things?"
"Rough. You've heard the news?"
"Yes. It sounds a bit dicey. How does it feel at that end?"
"Can't tell yet. But listen, Boss. That's not what I'm calling about. It's Rick Ellis. I'm sending him home."
"Oh God!" he said.
"What's happened?"
I told him in short, sharp sentences. He didn't query my decision, and I was glad of that. He saw my point. I summed up by saying, "He's dropped us right in it. At the very least, the Mafia know there's a Brit presence in the barracks here. That means there's a threat to our lads, quite apart from the potential disruption of Operation Nimrod."
"Are you going to need a replacement?"
"Not worth it. We can manage as we are.
"OK, then. I'll see Rick as soon as he gets back."
"Do you need a report immediately?"
"It can wait. I'm sure you've got plenty on your hands. You can give me a full statement when you get back."
"Will do."
"What's the state of play with the operation?"
"Apple's in place, as you know. We've got a site for Orange, and we're just waiting for a chance to do the insertion."
"Sooner the better," said the CO sharply.
"If the situation gets much worse we may have to pull you out.
"Roger. But Boss?"
"Yes?"
"There's no chance the Yanks are going to start playing funny buggers and press the button on Apple?"
"Don't be silly, Geordie. Things aren't that bad." Then suddenly he switched mode and made what seemed to me a lousy joke.
"But if they were, you'd be the last people to know anything about it."
"Ha ha," I said.
"Sorry, Geordie." He realised he'd pissed me off.
"Seriously, things look OK from this end."
"They don't from here, I can tell you. People are pouring out of Moscow like fucking lemmings."
"Is that right?"
I told him about the airlines, then said, "What I'm saying is this. Isn't that exactly what these bloody devices are for to use as blackmail if things get tense, to bring the buggers to their senses in an emergency?"
"Precisely. But we're nowhere near the stage of using them yet.
"I hope to hell you're right. Once Orange is underground we're going to be in the killing zone ourselves, never mind any radiation that might drift this way from Apple."
"Take it easy, Geordie. Your imagination's running away with you."
"I hope you're bloody well right."
The lads reassembled, looking rather surprised. Having sent Rick away to his own room, I got everyone sat down and went straight into it.
"I'm sorry to say that there's a high probability Operation Nimrod's been compromised."
Everyone sat very still. Several seconds passed before Whinger said, "For Christ's sake, what's happened? Have they found the bomb?"
"I hope not. But next worst: Rick's sent the Mafia a message saying the SAS is in town."
"Don't be stupid!" went Whinger.
"I'm not," I told him.
"I exaggerated slightly, but only a little."
I explained what had happened. Mal careful, steady Mal surprised me by starting to stand up for Rick.
"If he stuck to the cover story about the film, we don't need to worry.
"We bloody do! That woman's obviously in the hands of some pimp or other. It'll take the guy about ten seconds to recognise the number Rick gave her. I bet you the Mafia have got us pinpointed already."
"Eh!" said Johnny "Let's fuck off out of here while the going's good."