"Kill me now, Riley. What would be a fun way to die?" (This is a fun scene, and I love that Riley took care of her. Held her hair while she puked, changed her clothes, got her home, and listened to her cry. He's a good friend!) He tosses his arm around me, pulls me into his shoulder. "Oh no. I'm not killing you, you're too much fun."
"You held my hair while I puked."
"Yeah baby, that's okay."
"Thank you. In case I didn't thank you like last night. Like during the puking."
"Um, you thanked me. You bawled, thanking me."
"I bawled?"
"Yeah. Had a bawling, drunken meltdown. Kept thanking me for not being a stupid boy, cried about the surfer, about having a monkey nickname, I still don't get that one, cried about Dawson, about hookups. That's what you should be embarrassed about. Also, I had to change your shirt. Did you notice you were wearing my shirt this morning?" (And I love that she was crying about having a monkey nickname.) "Uh, no."
"I swear. I didn't look. Well, not too much," he laughs.
"I love you, seriously. You're my hero."
"Yeah, I know."
"I owe you."
"Naw. That was just me trying to pay you back for my brother being an asshole. We're even, okay?
"Okay. Riley?"
"Yeah?"
"Don't ever let me do that again."
He just laughs at me.
Just hookup, have fun, no strings.
Wishing I could skip Ceramics Walk into ceramics. Embarrassed as shit. Put my bag down at the table I share with Bryce and Jake. Neither of them is here yet. Maybe I will get lucky, and they are both sick today.
Bryce strolls in, Jake right behind him.
Shit.
What am I supposed to say? Do I apologize for probably puking on him? Or should I pretend I was soooo drunk I don't remember. Like I'm thinking I may go the I'm so blonde, and I was soooooo drunk route. Do some giggling, flirting. But truth is, I'm not in the best mood ever, so I will probably go the poor pathetic, feel sorry for me, my boyfriend dumped me, and I got drunk, and I feel so bad route. Since I won't even have to act that one out. It's just the truth.
Bryce walks up, pats me on the back and says, "How we feeling there, slugger?"
I keep my head down and groan slightly. That way I don't have to look anyone in the eyes.
Jake bumps my side with his hip. I turn to look at him. He is smiling at me, and he is really cute. He nods his head at me, "Uh, so.....last night was, um, interesting."
"I'm told I may have puked on you. If that's the case, I'm very sorry and extremely embarrassed."
"That's kinda my fault. You told me you didn't feel good. I didn't want to stop kissing you though. I was pretty drunk myself."
"Then hopefully you don't remember some of the things I may have said."
His face lights up in a smile, and he blushes a little. "Oh, that I do remember. What's up with that?"
"I decided last night I'm going to become a slut. Just hookup, have fun, no strings. Strings do nothing but get you hurt." I sigh, big.
Jake leans his arm on the table next to me, puts his fist under his chin. "You don't really seem like that type of girl."
"Well I haven't been, but I'm thinking it makes sense."
"You're a good kisser."
"From what I remember, you are too. I heard Peyton wants you back."
"Yeah, and she was pisssseddddd I was kissing you. But what she did to both of us, pretty much sucked. So I don't really care."
"Do you want her back?"
"I don't know. Maggie and I had fun the other day. And making out with you was a whole lot of fun. I'm thinking I just want to be single. Unless she decides she like really wants me. And like wants to make it up to me kind of thing."
Bryce asks, "So you gonna get back together with Dawes?"
"I don't know. It hurt that he did that. Like he told me he would never, and then he did."
"Sucks, I'm glad you showed me the texts."
Bryce interrupts and says, "Plus, we got the video, so, ya know, some good came out of it."
"My mom made me show her the video."
"Oh. Wow. Did she get mad?"
"She said as long as I was like acting as a slut, not actually being a slut, it was okay. Shit. Last night I wanted to be one." I put my hands in my face. "I hate boys."
"Better not hate us."
"Better never date me then."
I'll think of something Lunch I sit down at a table all by myself. I don't want to have company today. I want to wallow in aloneness.
This is the kind of day when you wish you could stay home from school and pretend to be sick. I suppose I could've pretended to be sick. Maybe I still can.
Dawson sits down next to me. "We need to talk, seriously."
"Yeah, I'm really not in the mood for that right now."
"When? After school? Please, Keatie?"
"Dawson, you don't even get it do you? Do you know how embarrassing it was for me to go home without you? My parents were expecting to meet you, and instead I have to tell them that the guy I'm going out with, that I'm having sex with, who told me he loved me and couldn't wait to meet my family, isn't coming because the girl he dated five months ago sent him some texts saying she wanted him back? Especially when I told them I was worried you would do that, and that you swore to me it would never happen? I have never felt so embarrassed of my decisions in my life."
"Jeeze, I know, okay. How would you feel if your surfer dude did that to you? Told you he wanted you back."
"Um, he did. Remember? You were with me. I told him I was happy with my boyfriend. That I was happy with you."
"Oh, yeah. Look, I'm soo soo sorry. I got caught up in it. It was like I wanted it for so long, and then when she finally wanted me, I just, I thought I needed to see. But what I realized is you are what makes me the me I am now. I'm so much happier with you than I ever was with her."
"Yeah, but not happy enough to stand up for me when she was slamming me. Not happy enough to tell her no. Not happy enough to go with me. What you did sucked. It hurt me. And I'm not over it. Sorry. You chose the path, I'm just trying to deal with it. Really, I just want to sit alone. Never mind, you stay. I'm leaving." I start to get up.
"You made out with Jake last night. And kissed Bryce."
"Yep. I also kissed Dallas. Single girls can do that. And I know you kissed Peyton this weekend."
"Yeah, well a couple times. Didn't feel the same."
"I can't do this right now, Dawson, seriously, I can't. I feel like shit. And I don't want to start crying in the middle of the cafe. Please, I'm embarrassed enough by all of this as it is."
"You were drunk last night."
"Yeah."
"Tonight. After practice. We're going to talk. Please."
"I don't know what else there is to say."
"I'll think of something."
Seal off.
French "My sister feels bad about you and Dawson. I think she thought you would take him back."
"She should feel bad. She broke us up."
"Are you mad at me?"
"Are you happy Dawson and I broke up?"
He grins, "Well yeah, but I have my own reasons for that."
"Well that sucks cuz it hurt me. And if you were at all interested in me as a person, you wouldn't want to see me hurt."
"I heard you were pretty drunk last night. That why you're so crabby today?"
"Seal off, Aiden."
Annie passes me a note. It says, We all need a girl's night tonight.
I write back. Please bring chocolate!
I'm above this shit.
Freaking Dance Stretched, did our routines, learned part of a new one we are planning to use in a competition coming up in December, listened to Peyton talk about sisterhood and treating our fellow dancers with respect.
I about barfed and nearly said, Are you fucking serious?
But instead I tried to take the high road and treat her with the respect she didn't have for me.
I'm above this shit.
Sorta. That or I am still too hungover to care.
I'm justing shutting my locker, ready to leave, when she says, "Can I talk to you?"
"Um, I know you're my big sister and captain and all, but I'd prefer not to speak to you right now."
"Look, he just looked happy with you, okay? I was jealous of it. The way he looked at you, the way he kissed you, I thought it could be that way with us. Truth is, it was never that way with us. We kissed this weekend. It wasn't right. It wasn't at all right. Then he got all upset and cried. He cried because he was so worried he totally screwed it up with you. He loves you. Do you know how bad I feel?"
"I'm pretty sure I feel worse, but thanks. Glad to know your breaking us up was for nothing. It makes me feel so much better."
"You made out with Jake last night."
"And there's nothing wrong with that. We're both single. Because of you."
Like I touched it. (Just this title makes me giggle.) 6pm In my dorm room, with the girls, happily munching on the pizza they ordered. They were sweet and ordered me a veggie pizza on whole wheat crust with ricotta cheese. My favorite healthy pizza. Plus, it meant I didn't have to deal with the stress of the cafe at dinner.
Dawson texted me, reminded me that we are supposed to talk. I told him I was having a girl's night. We could talk later maybe.
So, I need updates on everyone's weekend," I tell them.
Maggie giggles, "So what do you guys think of Jake? Do you think I could have a chance with him?"
Annie says, "He is super cute. You know him best, what do you think of him, Keatyn?"
"Well up front, I am going to tell you that I made out with him last night. We were both drunk and sorta getting back at Dawson and Peyton. We talked about it today, it means nothing and plus, I puked on him."
Katie cries, "You went to a party without me?"
"Yeah, sorry, I went with Riley. I decided to become a slut."
Annie, who is still a virgin says with big eyes, "Really??"