"How long you going to make Dawson wait?"
"No, it's not about me. It's like I'm supposed to get a general consensus."
"I'm going to go down the hall and ask people," Maggie says, "I'm bored with history, this sounds more fun." She goes off with a pencil and a notebook.
Annie says, "Dawson just replied to Jake's comment. Isn't it funny, that they are commenting each other, and they like live right next door to each other?"
"That is kinda funny. What'd he say?"
"He said, Effing hot."
"Oh and Ace just said, I wanna do your math homework too. I don't think you can handle it by your self."
"Oh, I don't like that. Oh, and Dawson didn't like that either. He said, Not cool, Ace.
And Ace again, Jkjk. This is exciting!" she raves. Oh wait, now Jake says, Dawes looked like he was handling things just fine.
Dawson says, Hell yeah.
I text Dawson.
Me: Love your status, hate the comments.
Dawson: Sorry Keatie :( they just think we made out.
Me: Jake saw your hand up my skirt. I'm pretty sure he knows it was more than that. Plus, you just said, hell yeah. Making out doesn't usually get a hell yeah.
Dawson: Oh.
Me: Do you want to tell people?
Dawson: No but it's kinda fun to have them guessing, I never, um, never mind. I'll tell them to stop.
Me: Naw, it's okay. Have fun, just keep them guessing.
Dawson: You make me feel so amazing.
me: Doesn't every guy says that after sex?
Dawson: You don't get it. YOU make me feel amazing, yeah, the sex is great, but it's because it's with you. Go out with me.
Me: :) and no freaking way!!!
Dawson: I'm hurt!
Me: Then don't ask a girl to go out by text. It's tacky. Plus, then you will think it's okay to break up with me by text, and that is not cool.
Dawson: I'm not going to break up with you. Like ever.
Me: Promises promises.
Dawson: Made good on my promise earlier ;) Me: Yeah you did. Um tomorrow, I do wanna talk to you about something.
Dawson: Tell me now :( Me: It's not bad, I'm just going to visit my family in a couple weeks and they asked if I would be bringing you, but it seems like too soon. But I won't get to see them again until Christmas cuz they are going to be out of town on Thanksgiving and I'm rambling.....sorry.
Dawson: I'd love to go, as long as you don't have to kill me after.
Me: :) Night.
Me: Hey wait, we are taking a poll, how long do you think a girl should make a guy wait for sex? Like not us, but normally.
Dawson: I think whatever we did was perfect. Seriously. I might just be in love with you :) Me: <3 Annie is still rambling on. Ace just said, We gonna kick some ass friday night? and then some guy named Brad said, Fuck yeah, and then, oh wait, it's gone. Ohhhhh, awwww, ohmigawd, Dawson just changed his status. It says, Keatie and then there's a heart. That is sooo cute."
Katie says, "That is really cute. You need to like that."
"No, I don't."
"Well, I'm liking it."
"Everyone is liking it." Annie informs us. "Like eight people have already liked it."
"Like who?"
"I don't know. I don't know any of them, wait, there's more, now there's like fourteen, most of his guy friends, Riley. Oh, Dallas just commented and said, Kiki.
Katie says, "Okay. You seriously need to move away from the computer, you're obsessed. Where's Maggie?"
"I don't know," Annie tells her, "but I need cookies. Let's go down to the kitchen."
"You bring back cookies. I'm gonna be up all night if I don't get to work."
Katie is standing by the door, turns back around. "That's what they make redbull for, silly."
I get about fifteen minutes of interruption free studying, well not really, my phone keeps buzzing with texts, but I don't look at it, and manage to get my math problems done and start the history vocab before they all come bounding back into the room.
"Okay, here's the consensus." Maggie says. "Most girls say they have waited anywhere from one day to one year, they say they should be going out with them, if they like the guy, but if they don't like the guy, and it's just a hookup they won't necessarily wait."
"They are having sex with guys they don't like?"
"No. I mean like guys they don't deem as serious boyfriend types."
"You guys ever watch Sex and the City?"
"I've seen some of them and the movies," Annie states.
I had a Sex and the City marathon with my friend last summer when she broke her leg and couldn't do anything. Like for four days straight we did nothing but watch the series. And on there they talk about the third date as being the sex date."
And didn't Tommy says something like that too?
"Yeah, but they're grown up. I think it's different when you date boys our age. Like you don't want to be just doing it with anyone. And you want them to respect you," Katie states.
"So basically there are no rules. You just go with what you feel like?"
Maggie laughs, "Uh, well no, if we went with what we felt like, we'd all be sluts."
We all laugh.
Annie says, "It really is hard for girls. I don't think guys even understand. I don't think parents understand. Like our parents tell us don't do it, be a good girl. Our bodies tell us we should be doing it. Like it used to be once you got your period, you were a woman. You got married and had sex. Guys want you to do it, but they don't want you to do it too soon. And if you don't do it soon enough, sometimes they will dump you. So then you think, oh, I'll wait until I find a guy who really love me. But then some guy tells you he loves you, you do it, and he decides he doesn't. Society tells us not to do it, but then we have all these sexy images of how we should look. It's really confusing." (I love how Annie thinks about stuff from every single angle.) "That's true," I say. I think everyone has to make their own decision. Whether you are 15, 17, 25, 40. I think what ever is right for you is what you should do."
Katie digests it all and says, "True."
Maggie says, "So I think it's a combination of how the guy treats you, how much you like him, if he seems serious, and if he respects you." Then she adds naughtily, "And then when you can't say no any longer, you give in."
Annie says, "So we know Katelyn's only done it with her boyfriend, wait, have you and Tyrese?"
"No. I can't with him. I mean, he's hot and older, and he's probably good at it, but we'd definitely have to be going out first. And then, I'd still wait some."
Then Annie turns to me, "And you were just with Brooklyn, and I haven't done it yet, so Maggie, have you ever had a random hookup? Like not been with someone you weren't dating?"
Maggie is a sophomore like Annie.
Maggie says, "Um, I have."
"Andddddd??!!"
"I can't decide if I'd rather have to deal with a stupid boyfriend and all the love bullshit, or the shame I feel when I hookup." (LOL Maggie. She is funny.) "That's pretty deep," I tell her. "Okay guys, I'm calling bedtime."
I lay in bed and think more about Sex in the City, and it pops into my head that Carrie dated a guy named Aiden for quite a while, and they were even engaged, but then she got back with Mr. Big because he was the one for her. So who is Dawson, and who is Aiden? Is Aiden my Mr. Big, or will I end up with him at some point, only to decide he's not the one? Or is he the one, and that's why he has such a magnetic pull on me? Or have I even met my Mr. Big yet? And these boys I know now are like the different boyfriends she had over the years, like the guy that played jazz and was like hyper, or the guy that was her sex buddy, or I don't know, I can't remember then all, which is really the point. They were there, but they weren't special. They were just a short chapter in her life. But she didn't really know at the time they weren't special, did she? (Yes, this mess of rambling got cut.) I'm not sure, all I know is Dawson feels special. And he said he'd go meet the family. He has no idea what he is in for.
I know a lot of actors, maybe I should hire fake parents. Naw, if he's special, then he should probably know. Maybe.
Kinda like the sex, it's just not something I want to get around.
I go to sleep, and my dreams are haunted by satyrs, and evil love gods, and centaurs, and eventually I'm in a meadow, dressed in a white gown with golden trim. I walk out to the middle of the clearing and meet the man I'm getting ready to marry. He's blurry though because I'm wearing a veil, but I can see from his outline he is very handsome, and my heart knows I love him. We he have the wedding, say I do, and he kisses me through the veil. Then he takes me out of the clearing to his dorm room for our honeymoon, and I'm sitting on a chair straddling him, like earlier today. We are kissing and kissing through the veil, and he's taking off my wedding gown, and then I'm naked except for my veil, and we're consummating our marriage. Finally, he lifts the veil in the middle of the consummation to kiss me, and there staring back at me is not the Dawson that I expected. It's Aiden, wearing a gold laurel wreath around his head. I wake up sort of throbbing down there. (Aiden is literally the man of her dreams.) And wondering what the hell?
Thursday, September 8th.
It's tutoring with food French I walk into French, where my teacher, Miss Praline, pulls me aside.
"Aiden said you won't be tutoring him. I'd like you to reconsider that."
"Why?"
"He just really struggled in French 1 and barely passed, so he's already behind. He needs this to play soccer at an Ivy League school, which is his goal. So the school wants to make sure he passes. I'll give you extra credit."
"I don't need extra credit. I'm very good at french."
"Please?"
"No. He's not nice to me."
"Look, I have an idea. How bout I get you on the social committee? It's a big honor, and there are no freshman on the committee, so what do you say?"
I think about that for a minute. Dawson thought about getting on it, and it is a big deal. Way bigger than student council. Hmmmm.
"I say you might just have a a deal."
I sit in my seat, turn around and try not to look at Aiden's mouth. "So I heard you REALLY suck at french."
He frowns a little, and it looks so odd on his mouth.
Shit.
I was NOT supposed to be looking at his mouth. What am I doing? (I love her obsession with his mouth, the source of his power.) "Yeah, I do."
"Well, I got asked really nice, and possibly bribed, by the teacher into helping you, so I guess I am."
"Really! Keatyn, that's awesome." And he grins that smile that blinds me, causes me to forget where I am and makes me want to grab his hand and run off to the land of milk and honey, or you know, somewhere magical.
"When can we start? Can we do it like after football practice, or would you rather wait until after dinner?"
I was thinking about saying, lets do it after practice, get it over with, but I'll be sweaty from soccer and dance, and I can't tutor a god and be sweaty. But I also don't want to miss going to like games and stuff with Dawson, so hmmm. "Yeah, lets do it right after football most nights, cause we want to still be able to go watch the other games and stuff at night. But maybe we will have to be a bit flexible on the times?"
He looks dreamily at me, "I will be there, whenever you need me." (Sigh.) "What?! No. You need me."
He frowns again, puts his hand over his eyes. "I have no idea why I said that. I meant I'll be there."
"Okay, so you have a game tonight, and we have a lot due tomorrow. Do you have it done yet?"
"No. I haven't really started."
"Well I have dance til five. What time do you have to be like in the locker room?"
"Not til six. And dance is over at 4:30. How about I order some pizza, you can come to my room, and we'll study and eat? Be there at five."
"That sounds like a date. And if I come straight from dance, I'll be all gross."
"It's tutoring with food, and I doubt you are ever gross."
And I can't help it. I know I like Dawson, but still the way he said it, made me melt a little.
Okay. Fine.