"And it's in that old wooden cabinet because ... ?"
"I don't know what you're talking about," said Captain Molly dismissively. "Ensign, bring up the screen for quadrant two."
I eased away from Captain Molly as she kept commanding the battle, and went over to stand next to Science Molly. "Um. The captain doesn't seem to want me to know about that door."
"Definitely not," said Science Molly, also in confidential tones. "It's a need-to-know door."
"Why?"
"Because if you know about it, you're one of the ones who needs to know about it," she replied calmly. "And if you don't, it's better that you not know. The captain feels you've suffered enough."
"Suffered enough?" I asked. "What do you mean?"
"I have nothing further to say on the subject," said Science Molly.
"It's my fault," Ensign Molly said. "Sorry. Look, I don't mean to, with the cabinet and the door, okay? But I can't help it."
You ever get that feeling you're standing in a room full of crazy people?
I got that feeling. It isn't a very nice feeling.
I stared at the door and the old wooden cabinet. It wasn't a particularly outstanding door in any way-a standard hanging door, if rather old and battered. Ditto the cabinet. Both had been stained a medium brown, apparently a very long time ago. Both were covered with dings and dents, not as though something had tried to break them down, but simply from years and years of use.
They looked sort of familiar.
I studied the door and the cabinet thoughtfully, glancing occasionally at the big old CRT as quadrant two buckled under the Corpsetaker's assault. The fighting had been fierce, but she still hadn't revealed herself, and Molly hadn't managed to kill her with the nukes or the assault would have ended with her. Another quadrant went, and Captain Molly detonated another set of massive nuke constructs. Then a third, and more nukes. Neither of the second pair of detonations was followed by a massive scream, the way the first one had been. Molly had bloodied the Corpsetaker, presumably, but it hadn't been enough.
"Dammit," Captain Molly said, clenching one fist and staring at the screen. "She's got to be near now. But where?"
The streets outside were so full of battling constructs that they were literally piling up with bodies, slowing the progress of the enemy-but not stopping it.
Dammit, I felt helpless. Just standing next to the kid wasn't going to do her any good, but I was holding on to the world by a thread. I just didn't have the ability to make things happen, either here or in the real world. All I could do was ...
... was use my freaking brain brain. Duh. Duh.
"Wait," I said. "Molly, I've got an idea."
All the Mollys turned to look at me.
I turned to Captain Molly. "Slow her down," I said. "You've got to slow the Corpsetaker down. Whatever you have to do, you need to buy some time. Go!"
Captain Molly blinked at me. Then she turned and started snapping orders. The bridge Mollys started twisting dials and punching keys.
I turned to Communications Molly. "Hey, you do communications, right?"
She looked baffled. "Right."
"We need to communicate," I said. "You need to make a long-distance call."
"Now?" Communications Molly said, her eyes widening.
"Right the hell hell now," I corrected her. I leaned down and explained what I needed in terse tones. now," I corrected her. I leaned down and explained what I needed in terse tones.
"That's going to be tricky," she said. "We're already at one hundred percent on the reactor."
I put on my best Sean Connery voice. "Then go to a hundred and ten pershent."
Science Molly arched an eyebrow at me and punched a button. "Engineering, Bridge."
"Aye!" screamed a furious Scottish-accented Molly. "What do ye want now?"
"More power, Engineer."
The answer was a furious rush of pure profanity-but the deep engine-hum in the background around us went upward a bit, and the floor started to vibrate.
Science Molly pointed at Communications Molly and said, "Go."
"Mayday," Communications Molly said into her console. "This is a mayday. Emergency transmission. We urgently require assistance... ."
Suddenly everything lurched to one side and we all staggered.
"Oh, I don't believe this crap," I muttered.
"She's found us, Captain," said Science Molly. "Shields at seventy percent."
"Hit her with everything!" Captain Molly snapped.
"Finally," growled Tactical Molly, who sat next to Ensign Molly, wearing a gold uniform almost identical to Captain Molly's. She'd been sitting there doing absolutely nothing and looking bored the entire time I'd been there. Now she turned and started jabbing buttons, and cheesy sound effects filled the bridge. growled Tactical Molly, who sat next to Ensign Molly, wearing a gold uniform almost identical to Captain Molly's. She'd been sitting there doing absolutely nothing and looking bored the entire time I'd been there. Now she turned and started jabbing buttons, and cheesy sound effects filled the bridge.
"Minimal damage," reported Science Molly.
The bridge rocked again and we staggered. One of the panels exploded in a shower of sparks. Some Molly in a red uniform who hadn't spoken crashed limply to the deck.
"Not real," Ensign Molly said. "Sorry; my bad. Some things you just can't get rid of."
Damage alarms started wailing. They sounded like a badly distorted version of a young woman screaming.
"Shields have failed, Captain!" Science Molly reported.
And she reached for the Omega Bomb.
"No!" I snapped. "Stop her!"
Captain Molly took one look at me and then leapt at Science Molly. She seized the Omega Bomb. "Stop!" she ordered.
"There is no room for emotion here," snapped Science Molly. "It's over. This is all you can do to protect them."
"I gave you an order!" snapped Captain Molly.
"You're letting your fear control you," replied Science Molly coldly. "This is the only logical way."
Captain Molly screamed in incoherent rage and slugged Science Molly in the face.
Science Molly screamed back, and swung a fist into Captain Molly's stomach.
Music started playing. Loud. High-pitched. Strident. Most would recognize it.
"Sorry!" Ensign Molly called, cringing.
I hurried forward to grab at the struggling Mollys-and my hands went right through them. Right. I was an observer here. Welcome, sure, but if I wanted to control what was going on, I had to do it the hard way, like Corpsetaker was doing.
I turned to Ensign Molly and said, "Dammit, do something!"
"There's nothing I can do," she said, her eyes uncertain and full of sadness. "They've been like that ever since they killed you."
I stared at Molly and felt my mouth fall open.
Time stopped.
The door. The old wooden door.
The cabinet where Molly had kept her suicide device.
I turned toward them.
My godmother's voice echoed in my head.
You are currently freed of the shackles of mortality. Your limited brain no longer impedes access to that record. The only blocks to your memory are those you allow to be.
I remembered the door. The cabinet.
I remembered remembered the past. the past.
Sanya had insisted that they keep me on the backboard when they carried me into St. Mary of the Angels, after my apartment burned down. The dark-skinned Knight of the Cross carried me from his minivan and into the church alone, toting the board and my couple of hundred pounds and change on one shoulder, as if I'd been a big sack of doggy chow.
Molly had gone ahead of him, worried, speaking rapidly to someone. I wasn't sure who-one of the priests, I guessed. I hurt everywhere I could feel. And in the places I couldn't feel, I only wished I could hurt.
My body, from the waist down, had stopped talking to me altogether.
I'd fallen off a ladder while trying to get some of my elderly neighbors out of the burning building and landed on a stone planter. Landed bad, and on my back. I've gotten lucky occasionally. This time I hadn't. I knew what the fall, the point of impact, and the lack of sensation in my lower body meant.
I'd broken my back.
The Red King had my daughter. I was the only one who was going to do anything about it. And I'd fallen and broken my back.
Sanya carried me into the utility room that was mostly used for storage-particularly for storing a battered wizard and his friends when they needed the refuge the church offered. There were a number of folding cots in the room, stored for use. Sanya set me down, rolled out a cot, put some sheets on it, and then placed me on the cot, backboard and all.
"Might as well leave me on the floor," I told him. "I'm lying on a board either way."
"Pffft," Sanya said, his dark, handsome face lighting up with a white grin. "I do not care to clean the floor after you leave. Someone else can do the sheets."
"Says you," I said. "You smell like burning hair."
"Some of it was on fire," he said cheerfully. His eyes, though, were less jovial. He put a hand on my chest and said, "You are badly hurt."
"Yeah."
"You want a drink?" he asked. One hand hovered near his jacket's breast pocket, where I knew he kept his flask.
"Pass. Maybe I'll just cope instead."
He made another disgusted noise and produced said flask, took a swig from it, and winked at me. "I was never clear on the difference. Da? Da?"
Molly appeared in the doorway, and Sanya looked at her.
"He's on the way," Molly said. Her voice was strained. Her day hadn't been as bad as mine, but she still looked shaken.
Sanya offered Molly a pull from the flask. She shook her head. "Very good," the big Russian said. "I will talk to Forthill, tell him what is happening."
"Sanya," Molly said, putting a hand on his arm. "Thank you."
He gave her a wide grin. "Perhaps it was just a coincidence I arrived when I did."
Molly rolled her eyes and gave him a faint shove toward the door. It didn't move the big man, but he went, and Molly flicked on a little lamp and shut the door behind him. She walked over to me and took a couple of KFC wet wipes from her bag. She knelt down next to the cot, opened them, and started cleaning my face.
I closed my eyes and said nothing.
My little girl was going to die.
My little girl was going to die die.
And there was nothing I could do about it.
Oh, I'd been defeated before. People had even died because I failed. But those people had never been my own flesh and blood. They hadn't been my child. I'd lost. I was beaten.
This was all over.
And it was all your fault, Harry.
If I'd been faster. If I'd been smarter. If I'd been strong enough of mind to make the hard choices, to focus on saving Maggie first and everyone else second ...
But I hadn't been. I'd been insufficient to the challenge, and she was going to die because of it.
I broke, right there. I just broke. The task given to me had been more than I could bear. And what followed would be nothing but torturous regret. I'd failed my own child.