"My wishes have nothing to do with it," he said calmly. "I could heal you if I were meant to do so. Free will must take precedence if it is to have meaning."
"You're talking philosophy," I said. "I'm telling you that a child is going to die."
Uriel's expression darkened for a moment. "And I am telling you that I am very limited in terms of what I can do to help you," he said. "Limited, in fact, to what I have already done."
"Yeah," I said. "Soulfire. Just about killed myself with that one. Thanks."
"No one is making you use it, Dresden. It's your choice."
"I played ball with you when you needed help," I said. "And this is how you repay me?"
Uriel rolled his eyes. "You tried to send me a bill bill."
"You want to set a price, feel free," I said. "I'll pay it. Whatever it takes."
The archangel watched me, his eyes calm and knowing and sad. "I know you will," he said quietly.
"Dammit," I said, my voice breaking. Tears started from my eyes. The colors and lines in my imagination began to blur. "Please."
Uriel seemed to shiver at the sound of the word. He turned his face from me, clearly uncomfortable. He was silent.
"Please," I said again. "You know who I am. You know I'd rather have my nails torn out than beg. And I am begging you. I am not strong enough to do this on my own."
Uriel listened, never quite looking at me, and then shook his head slowly. "I have already done what I can."
"But you've done nothing," I said.
"From your point of view, I suppose that's true." He stroked his chin with a thumb, frowning in thought. "Though ... I suppose it isn't too much of an imbalance for you to know ..."
My eyes were starting to cramp from looking to one side so fiercely without being able to move my head. I bit my lip and waited.
Uriel took a deep breath and looked as if he were considering his words with care. "Your daughter, Maggie, is alive and well. For now."
My heart skipped a beat.
My daughter.
He'd called her my daughter. my daughter.
"I know you wanted Susan to be the woman you loved and remembered. Wanted to be able to trust her. But even if you weren't admitting it to yourself, you had to wonder, on some level. I don't blame you for it," he said. "Especially after those tracking spells failed. It's natural. But yes." He met my eyes. "Flesh of your flesh and bone of your bone. Your daughter."
"Why tell me that?" I asked him.
"Because I have done all that I can," he said. "From here, it is up to you. You are Maggie's only hope." He started to turn away, then paused and said, "Consider Vadderung's words carefully."
I blinked. "You know Od ... Vadderung?"
"Of course. We're in similar fields of work, after all."
I exhaled wearily, and stopped even trying to hold the spell. "I don't understand."
Uriel nodded. "That's the difficult part of being mortal. Of having choice. Much is hidden from you." He sighed. "Love your child, Dresden. Everything else flows from there. A wise man said that," Uriel said. "Whatever you do, do it for love. If you keep to that, your path will never wander so far from the light that you can never return."
And as quickly as that, he was gone.
I lay in the darkness, shivering with weariness and the effort of the magic. I pictured Maggie in my head, in her little-girl dress with ribbons in her hair, like the picture.
"For you, little girl. Dad's coming."
It took me less than half a minute to restore the spell, and not much longer than that to build up the next wave of energy I would need. Until the last second, I wondered if I could actually go through with it. Then I saw a horrible image of Maggie in her dress being snatched up by a Red Court vampire, and my whole outraged being seemed to fuse into a singularity, a single white-hot pinpoint of raw, unshakable will.
"Mab!" I called, my voice steady. "Mab, Queen of Air and Darkness, Queen of the Winter Court! Mab, I bid you come forth forth!"
Chapter Thirty
The third repetition of her name hung ringing in the air, and deafening silence came after as I awaited the response.
When you trap something dangerous, there are certain fundamental precautions necessary to success. You've got to have good bait, something to draw your target in. You've got to have a good trap, something that works and works fast. And, once the target is in the trap, you've got to have a net or a cage strong enough to hold it.
Get any of those three elements wrong, and you probably won't succeed. Get two of them wrong, and you might be looking at a result far more disastrous than mere failure.
I went into this one knowing damned well that all I had was bait. Mab, for her own reasons, had wanted to suborn me into her service for years. I knew that calling her by her name and title would be enough to attract her interest. Though the mechanism of my improved summoning circle would have been a fine trap-if it still existed, I mean-the cage of my will had always been the weakest point in any such endeavor.
Bottom line, I could get the tiger to show up. Once it was there, all I had was a really good chalk drawing of a pit on the sidewalk and "Nice kitty."
I wasn't going into it blind and ignorant, though. I was desperate, but not stupid. I figured I had the advantage of position. Mab couldn't kill a mortal. She could only make him desperately wish he was dead, instead of enduring her attentions. I didn't have a lot to lose. She couldn't make me any more useless to my daughter than I was already.
I waited, in perfect darkness, for the mistress of every wicked fairy in every dark tale humanity had ever whispered in the night to put in an appearance.
Mab didn't disappoint me.
Surprise me, yes. But she didn't disappoint.
Stars began to appear in front of my eyes.
I figured that was probably a really bad thing, for a moment. But they didn't spin around in lazy, dizzy motion like the kind of stars that mean your brain is smothering. They instead burned steady and cold and pure above me, five stars like jewels on the throat of Lady Night.
Seconds later, a cold wind touched my face, and I became conscious of a hard smoothness beneath me. I laid my hands carefully flat, but I didn't feel the cot and the backboard under me. Instead, my fingers touched only cold, even stone, a planar surface that seemed level beneath my entire body. I wriggled my foot and confirmed that there was stone beneath it there, too.
I stopped and realized that I could feel my foot. I could move it.
My whole body was there. And it was naked. I wavered between yelping at the cold suddenly being visited upon my ass, and yelling in joy that I could feel it at all. I saw land to one side and scrambled to get off the cold slab beneath me, crouching down and hanging on to the edge of the slab for balance.
This wasn't reality, then. This was a dream, or a vision, or something that was otherwise in between the mortal world and the spiritual realm. That made sense. My physical body was still back in St. Mary's, lying still and breathing deeply, but my mind and my spirit were here.
Wherever "here" was.
My eyes adjusted to the darkness and I saw gentle mist and fog hanging in the air. Boiling clouds let a flash of moonlight in, and it played like a spotlight over the hilltop around me, and upon the ancient table of stone beside me. The moon's touch made deeply carved runes all around the table's edge dance with flickers of illumination, writing done in some language I did not know.
Then I understood. Mab had created this place for our meeting. It was known as the Valley of the Stone Table. It was a broad, bowl-shaped valley, I knew, though the mist hid most of it from me. In its exact center stood a mound maybe fifty feet across and twelve feet high at its center. Atop the mound stood the massive slab of stone, held up on four stumpy pillars. Other stones stood in a circle around it, some tumbled down, some broken, only one remaining in Stonehenge- like lintel. The stones all shed faint illumination in shades of blue and purple and deep, deep green. Cold colors.
Winter colors.
Yeah. It was after the equinox. So that tracked. The Table was in Winter's domain. It was an ancient conduit of power, transferred in the most primitive, atavistic fashion of all-in hot blood. There were grooves and whorls in the table's surface, coated with ancient stains, and it squatted on the hill, patient and hungry and immovable, like a snapping turtle waiting for warm, vital creatures to wander too close.
The blood spilled upon this table would carry the power of its life with it, and would flow into the well of power in the control of the Winter Queen.
A movement across the table from me drew my eye. A shadow seemed to simply congeal from the mist, forming itself into a slender, feminine shape draped in a cloak and cowl. Glittering green candle flames flickered in what looked like two eyes within the cowl's hood.
My throat went dry. It took me two tries to rasp, "Queen Mab?"
The form vanished. A low, feminine laugh drifted through the mist to my right. I turned to face it.
A furious cat squall erupted from the air six inches behind me and I nearly jumped out of my skin. I spun to find nothing there, and the woman's laugh echoed around the top of the misty mound, this time more amused.
"You're enjoying this, aren't you," I said, my heart pounding in my throat. "You told me so, didn't you?"
Whispering voices hissed among the stones around me, none of them intelligible. I saw another flicker of mocking green eyes.
"Th-this is a limited-time offer," I said, trying to make my voice sound steady. "It's been forced by circumstance. If you don't get off your royal ass and jump on it, I'm walking."
"I warned you," said a calm voice behind me. "Never let her bring you here, my godchild."
I carefully kept myself from letting out a shriek. It would have been unwizardly. Instead, I took a deep breath and turned to find the Leanansidhe standing a few feet away, covered in a cloak the color of the last seconds of twilight, the deep blue-purple fabric hiding her completely except for her pale face inside the hood. Her green cat eyes were wide and steady, her expression solemn.
"But I'm here," I said quietly.
She nodded.
Another shadow appeared beside her, green eyes burning. Queen Mab, I presumed, and noted that she was actually a couple of inches shorter than my godmother. Of course, especially in a place like this, Mab could be as gargantuan or Lilliputian as she chose.
Probably-Mab stepped closer, still covered in shadows despite the fact that she was nearer to me than my godmother was. Her eyes grew brighter.
"So many scars," said my godmother, and her voice had changed subtly, growing cold and precise. "Your scars are beautiful things. Within and without." The shadowed figure stepped behind one of the fallen stones and emerged from behind another on the opposite side of the circle. "Yes," said the cold voice coming from the Leanansidhe's lips. "I can work with this."
I shivered. Because it was really cold and I was naked, I'm sure. I looked from the dark figure to my godmother and back, and asked, "You're still using a translator?"
"For your sake," said the cold voice, as a shadowed figure stepped behind the next menhir and appeared atop another. Walking deosil, clockwise.
Mab was closing the circle around me me.
"Wh-why for my sake?" I asked.
The cold voice laughed through the Leanansidhe's lips. "This conversation would quickly grow tedious if you kept falling to your knees, screaming in agony and clawing at your bleeding ears, my wizard."
"Yeah. But why?" I asked. "Why would your voice hurt me?"
"Because she is angry," answered the Leanansidhe in her natural voice. "Because her voice is a part of her power, and her rage is too great to be contained."
I swallowed. Mab had spoken a few words to me a couple of years back, and I'd reacted exactly as she described. I'd lost a few minutes of time during the episode her words had provoked as well. "Rage?" I asked. "About what?"
The shadowed figure let out a spitting hiss, another feline sound that made me flinch and cringe away from it as if from the lash of a whip. My godmother jerked sharply to one side. She straightened only slowly, and as she did I saw that a long, fine cut had been drawn across one of her cheeks. Blood welled up and dripped down slowly.
My godmother bowed her head to Mab, and the cold voice came from her mouth again. "It is not for my handmaiden to judge or question me, nor to speak for me upon her own account."
Lea bowed her head to Mab again, and not a flicker of either anger or chagrin showed in her features. Again, Mab moved from one stone to another without crossing the space in between. It should have been getting easier to deal with due to repetition. It wasn't. Each time she did it I realized that she could just as easily have reappeared behind me with foul intentions, and there wouldn't be anything I could do about it.
"There are ancient proprieties to be honored," Mab's voice said, her tone measured and somehow formal. "There are words which must be said. Rites which must be observed. Speak your desire, mortal man."
Now I really was was shivering with the cold. I folded my arms and hunched in on myself. It didn't help. "Power," I said. shivering with the cold. I folded my arms and hunched in on myself. It didn't help. "Power," I said.
The shadowed figure froze in place and turned to stare at me. The burning green eyes tilted slightly, as if Mab had cocked her head to one side. "Tell me why."
I fought to keep my teeth from chattering. "My body is badly injured, but I must do battle with the Red Court."
"This you have done many a time."
"This time I'm fighting all of them," I said. "The Red King and his inner circle."
The fire of her eyes intensified. "Tell me why."
I swallowed and said, "They've taken my daughter."
The shadowed figure shuddered, and her disembodied voice breathed a sigh of pleasure. "Ahhh. Yes. Not for your own life. But for your child's. For love."
I nodded jerkily.
"So many terrible things are done for love," Mab's voice said. "For love will men mutilate themselves and murder rivals. For love will even a peaceful man go to war. For love, man will destroy himself, and that right willingly." She began walking in a physical circle now, though her movements were so touched with unexpected motions and alien grace that it almost seemed that there must be something else beneath the shrouding cloak. "You know my price, mortal. Speak it."
"You want me to become the Winter Knight," I whispered.
A laugh, both merry and cold, bubbled beneath her response. "Yes."
"I will," I said. "With a condition."
"Speak it."
"That before my service begins, you restore my body to health. That you grant me time enough to rescue my daughter and take her to safety, and strength and knowledge enough to succeed. And you give me your word that you will never command me to lift my hand against those I love."
The figure kept its eerie pace as she circled me again, and the temperature seemed to drop several degrees. "You ask me to risk my Knight in a place of dire peril, to no gain for my land and people. Why should I do this?"