DAVUS. I go. (_Exeunt PAMPHILUS and CHARINUS._ (_DAVUS addressing the audience._) Wait not till they come forth: within She'll be betroth'd; within, if aught remains Undone, 'twill be concluded--Clap your hands!
THE EUNUCH.
PERSONS REPRESENTED.
PROLOGUE.
LACHES.
PHaeDRIA.
CHaeREA.
ANTIPHO.
CHREMES.
THRASO.
GNATHO.
PARMENO.
DORUS.
SANGA.
SIMALIO, ETC.
THAIS.
PYTHIAS.
DORIAS.
SOPHRONA.
PAMPHILA.
SCENE, ATHENS.
PROLOGUE.
To please the candid, give offense to none, This, says the Poet, ever was his care: Yet if there's one who thinks he's hardly censur'd, Let him remember he was the aggressor: _He_, who translating many, but not well, On good Greek fables fram'd poor Latin plays; _He_, who but lately to the public gave The Phantom of Menander; _He_, who made, In the Thesaurus, the Defendant plead And vouch the question'd treasure to be his, Before the Plaintiff his own title shows, Or whence it came into his father's tomb.
Henceforward, let him not deceive himself, Or cry, "I'm safe, he can say naught of me."
I charge him that he err not, and forbear To urge me farther; for I've more, much more, Which now shall be o'erlook'd, but shall be known, If he pursue his slanders, as before.
Soon as this play, the Eunuch of Menander, Which we are now preparing to perform, Was purchas'd by the aediles, he obtain'd Leave to examine it: and afterward When 'twas rehears'd before the Magistrates, "A Thief," he cried, "no Poet gives this piece.
Yet has he not deceived us: for we know, The Colax is an ancient comedy Of Naevius, and of Plautus; and from thence The Parasite and Soldier both are stolen."
If that's the Poet's crime, it is a crime Of ignorance, and not a studied theft.
Judge for yourselves! the fact is even thus.
The Colax is a fable of Menander's; Wherein is drawn the character of Colax The parasite, and the vain-glorious soldier; Which characters, he scruples not to own, He to his Eunuch from the Greek transferr'd: But that he knew those pieces were before Made Latin, that he steadfastly denies.
Yet if to other Poets 'tis not lawful To draw the characters our fathers drew, How can it then be lawful to exhibit Slaves running to and fro; to represent Good matrons, wanton harlots; or to show An eating parasite, vain-glorious soldier, Supposititious children, bubbled dotards, Or love, or hate, or jealousy?--In short, Nothing's said now but has been said before.
Weigh then these things with candor, and forgive The Moderns, if what Ancients did, they do.
Attend, and list in silence to our play, That ye may know what 'tis the Eunuch means.
[Changes:
Or cry, "I'm safe, he can say naught of me."
_Quotation marks supplied from the 1768 edition._]
ACT THE FIRST.
SCENE I.
_Enter PHaeDRIA and PARMENO._
PHaeD. And what then shall I do? not go? not now?
When she herself invites me? or were't best Fashion my mind no longer to endure These harlots' impudence?--Shut out! recall'd!
Shall I return? No, not if she implore me.
PAR. Oh brave! oh excellent! if you maintain it!
But if you try, and can't go through with spirit, And finding you can't bear it, uninvited, Your peace unmade, all of your own accord, You come and swear you love, and can't endure it, Good-night! all's over! ruin'd and undone She'll jilt you, when she sees you in her pow'r.
PHaeD. You then, in time consider and advise!
PAR. Master! the thing which hath not in itself Or measure or advice, advice can't rule.
In love are all these ills: suspicions, quarrels, Wrongs, reconcilements, war, and peace again: Things thus uncertain, if by reason's rules You'd certain make, it were as wise a task To try with reason to run mad. And now What you in anger meditate--I her?
That him?--that me? that would not--pardon me!
I would die rather: No! she shall perceive How much I am a man.--Big words like these, She in good faith with one false tiny drop, Which, after grievous rubbing, from her eyes Can scarce perforce be squeez'd, shall overcome.
Nay, she shall swear, 'twas you in fault, not she; You too shall own th' offense, and pray for pardon.
PHaeD. Oh monstrous! monstrous! now indeed I see How false she is, and what a wretch I am!
Spite of myself I love; and knowing, feeling, With open eyes run on to my destruction; And what to do I know not.
PAR. What to do?
What should you do, Sir, but redeem yourself As cheaply as you can?--at easy rates If possible--if not--at any rate---- And never vex yourself.
PHaeD. Is that your counsel?
PAR. Aye, if you're wise; and do not add to love More troubles than it has, and those it has Bear bravely! But she comes, our ruin comes; For she, like storms of hail on fields of corn, Beats down our hopes, and carries all before her.
SCENE II.
_Enter THAIS._