She looked at him askance. "Right, because you saying it will happen must make it true."
"Hey, you never know. Being knocked up with a half-human baby might make things easier for you, considering how stubborn dragons are."
"Technically, the baby will be three-quarters human."
"But the gene to shift into a dragon is always dominant, right? So it's a pretty moot point." He squeezed her hip. "Although, come to think of it, Hartleys are stubborn bastards as well, so it's pretty much a toss-up as to how our baby will act." Rafe paused, and then added, "Do you know anything about your birth mother?"
Nikki had known the question was coming but hadn't expected it so soon.
Her beast spoke up. Don't make it awkward now. Tell him. You will feel better afterward.
If only that were true. Every time Nikki spoke of her mother, her voice would crack with emotion, and she'd quickly change the subject to regain her composure.
Yet, looking at Rafe, curiosity filled his gaze and his words from the day before replayed in her mind. "Honesty is a good first step. But tell me, Nikki, is honesty all you want?"
She'd been unsure at the time, but after him seeing her dragon and including her in the loop on the latest information on Simon Bourne, she knew he was a rare find. Things were still new between them, and she had no bloody idea what she was going to do with regards to the baby, but if there was one male she wanted more than any other, it was Rafe Hartley. He deserved to hear the truth.
Taking a deep inhalation, she let it out, and the words spilled from her lips. "Her name was Li-Na Wu."
Nikki paused, and forced herself to detach her emotions, much like she did when she was on a high-risk assignment for the army or Stonefire. Otherwise, she might never get it all out. It may have been over twenty years since her mother had left her, but it still affected Nikki more than she liked.
She continued, "Whilst born in Hong Kong, Li-Na immigrated with her parents during her teens to Manchester. They were poor but had worked hard to save up until they could open their own restaurant. Just as things were picking up, Li-Na's mother died. Her father grieved hard, and the restaurant started to falter. If they couldn't come up with a few thousand pounds to repay a short-term loan, they would lose everything.
"Then news of the landmark deal with the British dragon-shifters broke out, and the first call for sacrifices was posted. Dragon's blood was even rarer then since there wasn't much of a black market at the time. Anyone who had a vial to sell would make a small fortune. However, everyone was afraid of the dragons-would they eat the humans? Would they lock away the females in a tower and throw away the key? It was all bloody ridiculous, of course, but the result was that no human female who volunteered was mentally stable enough to pilot the program.
"Out of options, Li-Na applied in secret, not wanting to get her father and brother's hopes up. She passed all the tests and was sent to Stonefire, where my father was her assigned dragonman. He was the old clan leader's brother, you see, and could be trusted not to screw things up."
From everything Nikki had heard, her dad had been proud to be the first candidate. Only later would he discover the heartbreak it would bring.
Not wanting to think of her father's sadness, Nikki pushed on. "What no one had predicted was for Li-Na to turn out to be my dad's true mate. The frenzy took hold after their first kiss, in a ceremony in front of the entire clan. My dad did his best to control his dragon, and for the most part, succeeded. However, while Li-Na didn't deny my father's attentions out of duty, the experience frightened her. Once the frenzy was over and she was with child, Li-Na kept to herself and avoided everyone."
Nikki had always wanted to ask her mother why her bravery had faltered after the frenzy, but per the DDA contract, Nikki was forbidden from seeking out or contacting her mother. If she did, she could end up in a DDA prison. Considering her dad had lost his true mate, Nikki hadn't wanted him to lose his only child, too.
Rafe merely stared at her with questions in his eyes, so Nikki explained, "My father tried his best to woo her and coax her to stay. But Li-Na wanted to go home to her family and to everything that was familiar. Nothing would change her mind. He held out hope up to the very end, though, until I was born. When she ran the next day, my father knew his fate-he would have to raise me on his own while also recovering from his true mate's rejection. Stonefire never heard from her again."
Rafe listened to Nikki's story and a whole new respect for the strong woman she'd become blossomed in his chest. To a person of weaker resolve and character, being abandoned by a birth mother might've turned them sour on the world. But not his Nikki. She was cheerful, determined, and witty. She had truly risen from the harsh truth of her mother's abandonment to become brilliant.
He was also starting to understand her comments from before, about not wanting him to run off when things became difficult and leaving her alone to raise their child.
More than ever, Rafe wanted to stay and convince Nikki to not only choose him but to also choose a future with them as a family.
At the sadness in her eyes, he took her chin between his fingers. "I want you to remember one thing, Nikola Gray. I am not Li-Na Wu. When I accept a responsibility, I see it through."
"We'll see, Rafe. I so desperately want that to be true."
For the first time, she all but admitted she wanted him to stay.
Leaning forward, he murmured, "Good. Then give me a few weeks and I'll erase all of your doubts."
"Someone's acting a bit cocky."
"It's merely the truth."
Nikki searched his eyes before blowing out a breath. "I wish we didn't have to do the birthday party detail tomorrow. It'd be nice to dedicate all our time to the Irish mission."
He lightly kissed her lips. "You just want an excuse to spend time with me."
"Maybe."
He blinked, but quickly recovered. "Why do I have a feeling you have ulterior motives?"
She placed a hand on his chest. "You still have yet to tell me about your friend who died, Rafe. The one who caused you to lash out at me and the other dragon-shifters in the unit."
Wrapping an arm around her waist, he got them moving again. "As long as we walk, I'll answer whatever questions you ask."
"Anything? What if I ask about your deepest, darkest fear?"
Wanting to tear down barriers, Rafe decided what the hell, he'd tell her. "I don't like swimming underwater in the dark."
"What? Why?"
He shrugged. "When I was a child, I watched part of a movie where the house was alive and tried to kill its inhabitants. After watching the bit where a kid nearly drowned because the pool kept him under the water, I started wondering if the same thing would happen to me."
Nikki frowned. "But it's a movie."
"I know that. Yet ever since, if it's dark or I have my eyes closed under water, I wonder if there's any enemy lurking to pull me down. I learned during training as a teenager how to keep my fear to a minimum. But given the chance, I won't go into the water unless I can see either because the water is clear or I have goggles."
Squeezing her arm around his waist, she grinned. "Well, then we'll just have to see how you do if I'm with you in the water and naked. You might not mind it so much then."
"I'd very much like to try that." He leaned down to kiss the grin off Nikki's face when the voice of Aaron Caruso, Kai's second-in-command, boomed out, "I always appreciate a free show. Just pretend I'm not here."
With a growl, Rafe glared at the olive-skinned dragonman. "What do you want?"
Aaron approached them. "My, my, someone's testy. It's almost as if you have an inner dragon." He lowered his voice. "Have you been keeping a secret from us, Hartley?"
Nikki spoke up before he could. "What do you want, Aaron?"
"You're fairly early in the pregnancy to be getting snippy," Aaron answered with a grin.
"Aaron Caruso, if you don't get to the point, I'll extend my talons and go after your bollocks," Nikki spat out.
Aaron looked from Nikki to Rafe. "And how would your boyfriend react if you grabbed another male's bollocks?"
Releasing his hold on Nikki, Rafe stepped in front of her and narrowed his eyes at the dragonman. "You might be Nikki's superior, but not mine. If you don't have clan business to share, then be on your way or I will challenge you myself."
"My, my, someone has a temper," Aaron answered as his face turned serious. "And you're wrong, Hartley. I am your superior for the foreseeable future. So, get used to orders from me."
"Pardon?"
The smile returned to Aaron's face. "Not only are you working with me for the celebration tomorrow, but I'm also overseeing the mission and going with you to Ireland. I'm fairly sure Kai mentioned that to you already."
Rafe's irritation with the cocky bastard was replaced with curiosity. "Did Bram reach out to Killian O'Shea already?"
"Yes," Aaron answered. "Killian hasn't promised anything beyond a meeting and not killing us on sight. But it's a good start." He leaned forward. "So, get used to seeing me around, Hartley. Maybe with enough exposure, you can learn to lighten up a little."
Nikki moved to Rafe's side. "All that is well and good, but why are you here now? You could've told us this later."
"Well, you two disappeared, and I'm impatient to go over the plans for tomorrow. Finn and Arabella arrived early, so we need to scramble to get security in place."
Nikki looked down at herself. "Can I at least put some clothes on first? It's bloody freezing."
"I'll allow it, but you only have fifteen minutes. If you dally, I know you're shagging somewhere and I'll come fetch you," he said with amusement dancing in his eyes. He then rubbed his hands together. "That will be a real show."
Clenching his fingers, Rafe jumped in. "I don't care what rank you hold or who you are. If you take advantage of Nikki, I will break your arm before you can finish blinking."
Aaron scrutinized him for a second before nodding. "You might just do, Hartley." He raised a hand and flashed his fingers three times. "Fifteen minutes, starting now."
Wrapping his arm around Nikki, Rafe guided her away from the Italian dragon bastard and toward their shared cottage. "Working with Caruso is going to try my patience. A few weeks with him, and I will most likely punch him in both eyes."
"Rafe, stop it. Aaron does it on purpose, you know. It's his way."
He glanced over. "Why are you defending him? Did you ever fancy him?"
Nikki rolled her eyes. "No, and you need to learn to tame your jealousy, human. Unless you deliberately hurt me, I'm yours for the foreseeable future."
His heart skipped a beat at Nikki's words. "That's the most promising thing you've said yet."
"I would say I really like spending time with you, but I'm afraid you'll lord it over me."
Stopping them, he pulled Nikki's body up against his. "If I promise not to use it too often, will you say it again?"
She tried to frown but ended up smiling. "You sound fairly eager."
"Nikki."
She laughed. "Okay, I love spending time with you. Does that make you happy?"
He murmured, "Yes," before taking her lips in a rough kiss. "And if we hurry, I might just be able to make you come with my tongue within the fifteen minute time frame."
"That sounds like a challenge to me."
"Then I accept." He swept his arm behind Nikki's knees and lifted her up. "To speed things up, I'm going to carry you."
Before Nikki could protest, he took off at a run. Nikki's giggle sent a rush of peace over him. She should definitely laugh more.
Rafe added yet another item to his list of things to do with Nikki.
But he didn't think of it long because they arrived at their cottage. Once inside, he put Nikki on the couch, spread her legs, and made her scream his name.
Chapter Twelve.
Nikki was strapped to a chair. With her dragon drugged into silence, she had no way to shift and escape the dragon hunters.
Two such hunters stared down at her. One held two metal rods with the bottom ends covered in plastic. Wires ran from the end of each and were plugged into a device on the table next to her.
He touched the tips together and electricity sparked. Anticipation danced in his eyes as he said, "I'm going to ask one more time. Where are the weaknesses in Stonefire's defenses?"
She remained silent. She'd already let Bram down once by allowing Evie, Charlie, and herself to be captured. She would rather die than do anything else to hurt him or the clan.
The sound of a roaring dragon in the distance only strengthened Nikki's resolve. She wouldn't let Charlie's pain be for nothing.
The man shrugged. "Then we can do it my way."
He approached her but never touched her. To help keep calm, Nikki made her inhalations and exhalations of equal length.
Then he touched the skin of her arms and electricity raced through her body. She held out as long as she could, but the pain was too much, and she screamed.
"Nikki."
The pain vanished, replaced with a hand gently shaking her shoulder. Sitting up in bed, she met Rafe's eyes in the dim light. "Rafe?"
He searched her eyes. "Are you okay? You were screaming."
Damn it. Nikki must've had a nightmare. It'd been a few months since her last one. She'd been under the false impression they had finally vanished.
Her dragon spoke up in a sleepy voice. They won't go away until you talk about it.
They'd had the argument many times over the last year. It was my failure that resulted in my capture and torture. It's my burden and no one else's.
You're an idiot.
Shutting out her dragon, Nikki plopped onto her back and stared at the ceiling. As if on cue, Rafe's voice filled the room again. "Was it something from your time in Afghanistan?"
She met his eye. There was understanding in his gaze. "No, but I have a feeling we both understand painful memories showing up when we least expect it-when we're asleep."
"Call it what it is, Nikki. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. There's no shame in admitting you have PTSD."
"You say that now when you're naked and sharing my bed. I highly doubt you'd feel the same way if you were in a room full of male soldiers."
Rafe's quiet voice answered, "Since it's cost me a few friends who took their own lives, I've learned to accept it more in the last few years. I've even seen one of the army's shrinks a couple of times."