“Why are you here?”
“Thanks.”
Luo Xi does not reach for the box of sushi until it is placed directly in front of him. Under Xia Mo’s direct gaze, Luo Xi only then opens the box to find about twenty pieces of sushi, all different and painstakingly created. Saying nothing, Luo Xi only stares at this offering. Slightly nervous now, Xia Mo hesitatingly asks him if he doesn’t like them.
“You know what, Xia Mo? Sometimes I really worry about the day when you will be especially good to me. Someone once gave me a really big, really delicious ice cream cone but after I finished eating it, she was gone. It seems like every time I reach the highest point of my happiness, it is only the beginning of heartbreak.” Pause. “If I eat all this sushi, will you disappear too?”
“Really?” Luo Xi pushes Xia Mo away. “But, I no longer trust you.”
“Yes, I did say that. But what have you given me in return?”
“No, you didn’t lie to me. But you chose to purposely mislead me… When I asked if you had gone to see Ou Chen, you only said that you hadn’t agreed to some kind of a bargain with him, that you hadn’t promised him anything…”
“But I asked you whether or not you had gone to see him…”
“So… you did see him.”
“Did you seek him out or did he do it?”
“Didn’t I tell you not to? In fact, even earlier, didn’t I ask you to not see or talk to him, regardless of the reason? And what did you promise me? You said you wouldn’t see him. You said you wouldn’t talk to him. You said that even if he saw you, you would ignore him.”
“I don’t want to hear it! You’re always so full of excuses!”
“Ended… Is that what you call your expression as you guarded over his sickly self in the hospital?! How do you expect me to believe you? You promised me you wouldn’t find him and yet you did it anyway. And then when you did see him, you purposely avoided my question when I specifically asked you. You keep saying you want nothing to do with him and yet you agreed to take on Golden Dance! Maybe you did it for yourself… Didn’t you once say that there is no love in your heart, only the desire to succeed? That to succeed, you will do anything your power. So now you’ve decided to sacrifice me for this chance?”
If I pretend that I don’t know you love her
Would you stay for me”
The moment of hearing her footsteps that year under the cherry blossom tree… perhaps his life was fated then.
He… has no way of ever achieving happiness. Ever since Mom abandoned him that day.
There is a black hole in his heart; some things have already been completely scraped away. Somehow along the way, he has become accustomed to smiling in front of strangers. A smile on his lips and yet a cold, black hole in his heart. During the night he continuously calls out midst laughter; Mom, look now; you gave up the incredibly perfect me.
Do you… regret it?
The sixteen year old Luo Xi sitting by himself in the backyard of the Yin family under that cherry blossom tree… hoping against hope that his mom now painfully regrets giving him up… Suddenly hearing the light footsteps and looking up in wonder! Mom has returned to find him!
And then seeing the fifteen year old her -
Thinking back on it now, his feelings for her seemed to have appeared out of nowhere. She simply entered his heart, leaving a mark on him that could not be erased. She was able to see into his soul and yet she gave him no thought or concern. Only when he accidentally hurt Xiao Cheng’s feelings did she say anything at all to him, quickly acting like a Mother Hen and warning him off. In her heart, no one can ever compare to Xiao Cheng’s place. Sometimes he has even though that her main purpose to living was simply for Xiao Cheng.
And then, she slowly came to accept him, came to accept him as part of the family. When there was fast no more warmth in his life, she gave it completely to him.
Perhaps she had thought she was doing him a favor by sending him to study abroad in England; however, she has no idea how much he had hated her then! How dare she send him away simply to protect her dad’s job and allow Xiao Cheng and everyone else to live worry-free?! She didn’t even hesitate on that day.
He had thought it was hatred that made her unforgettable to him while he was living in England. Until one day his wallet was stolen – his wallet containing the one picture of her – and he gave chase like a madman down several streets just to get that picture back. Only then he understood, that mixed within that hate was a much more complicated feeling…
The girl on the stage continues to sing, her silhouette becoming fuzzy as she sways back and forth. Luo Xi gazes intently at her, his eyes black as night.
Five years later, he meets her again, even more unreachable than before. Perhaps at the beginning he got closer to her for revenge but then he overestimated himself. Because the closer he got to her, the more he started to love her. Even before she had fallen for him, he had already completely drowned. Even though it seems like she has slowly learned to like him, her eyes continue to carry a faraway expression in them, as if one day she will eventually leave him.
Although the picture of her and Ou Chen has caused him immense pain, he actually does trust her more than he has let on. If she was really trying to leave him, she wouldn’t visit him on set to explain herself and wouldn’t be trying to so hard to make him happy. He understands – and already regrets being so rash and saying such hurtful things to her.
However… he is really scared…
Luo Xi’s mental wandering is broken by the sudden applause for the girl on stage; she has finished her song and now exiting. Sometime ago the other crew members had moved to the dance floor, leaving Shen Qiang next to him.
“Do you know her?”
“I was just making a bet to myself… Betting when you would finally realize… that I’ve made them all leave… and that the only one left by your side is me… just me… But… haha… you’ve just been staring at that girl this entire time… not even noticing me…”
“Drank… a lot… haha… But… I’m just pretending… to be drunk… haha…”
“Why can’t you see me… That Yin Xia Mo… how long have you known her? I’ve been at your side this entire time… don’t you know that?” Shen Qiang suddenly throw herself at Luo Xi, tightly hugging onto him. “You never see me, do you? Even just now… you just see that strange girl… and you don’t even see me…”
“Why can’t you see me?! I heard you and her talking this afternoon! Haha, haha, I purposely eavesdropped on you! Break up with her… If she hurts you so much… if she doesn’t make you happy…”
“Why?! I met you first! I liked you first! I told you a long time ago… Did you think I was just joking…?”
“Get away!”
No… Closing her eyes tightly, her chest feeling as if a thousand rocks have been stacked against her, Xia Mo can’t even breathe…