1
They had spent nearly an hour on the outbound train from Fujisawa Station on the Tokaido line, travelling around fifty kilometres west. The silver carriages with orange and green lines along the sides had flown through the Kanagawa prefecture and arrived at Atami in the Shizuoka prefecture, famous for its hot-springs.
The time was seven in the evening.
Regardless, there was something they needed to know. What was happening with Mai…
And whether anyone that saw her could remember her.
They needed to know just what scale the instance of Adolescence Syndrome that was affecting Mai was going to make her suffer.
They had at least alighted at Chigasaki Station and Odawara station, but no one had been able to see her. When Sakuta had asked people, he had only received reactions like ‘Huh?’, ‘I don’t know them.’, and ‘I don’t get kids these days.’. Once they had arrived at Atami Station he had immediately asked people, but there had been no change for the better… Everyone really had forgotten Sakurajima Mai, or at least acted like they had never known her.
Mai watched all of this expressionlessly. She swallowed down any surprise, sadness, or fear, with no disturbance on her face, like a still lake.
Sakuta looked up from where he stood on the platform at the electric signs with the train departure times on. For their next train, even if they continued on the Tokaido line, they would need to transfer because the train they had ridden here terminated at this station.
He found a train that would arrive at eleven minutes past seven towards Shimada. He didn’t know what prefecture or whereabouts the station was, but… checking the route map revealed that it was even further west than Shizuoka, and that was enough.
It would depart in six minutes, so whilst he didn’t have much, he had some time.
“I’ll phone my sister.” With those words to Mai, he rushed over to a payphone next to a shop. He used some spare change and lifted the receiver before dialling the number, setting it ringing. After a short time, it switched to their answering machine. “Kaede, it’s me.”
Kaede would never answer a phone call from anyone else, so a call would always start with the answering machine like this.
“Hello, this is Kaede.”
“Great, you’re up.”
“It’s only seven.” Even without seeing her face, he could imagine her pouting. “What’s wrong?”
“Sorry, I’m not coming home today.”
“Eh?”
“I’ve got something I have to go away for.”
“W-what’s that ‘something’?”
“It’s…” for a moment he was lost for words, but Sakuta soon realised that he should ask Kaede too and spoke down the phone. “Kaede, do you remember the girl that came to our house, Sakurajima Mai?”
“I don’t know anyone called that.”
She replied, all too easily.
“…”
He couldn’t reply immediately and lightly chewed at his lip, waiting to calm down.
“Who are they?”
Kaede grumbled jealously. Sakuta heard it distantly. It really was tough to have the reality thrust before him by someone he knew well like this. It was the same as when he spoke with Nanjou Fumika, much tougher than being told so by someone he didn’t know and had never seen.
“It’s fine if you don’t know. Bear with cup noodles from the cupboard for tonight, you can have whichever you like. Make sure you feed Nasuno too. Brush your teeth before you go to sleep. I’ll call again. Night.”
“Ah, eh? Onii-chan!”
In the middle of Kaede’s yell, the phone cut off with the clatter of a ten yen coin.
He went for the train.
“Let’s go, Mai-san.”
“Let’s.”
Sakuta and Mai boarded the Shimadbound train from platform two.
2
The train left Atami along the Pacific coast, heading further west. They transferred trains along the way at Shimada Station and Toyohashi Station. They left the Shizuoka prefecture for the Aichi prefecture, and headed from the Aichi prefecture for the Gifu prefecture, travelling hundreds of kilometres.
While they did, Sakuta asked the people from places he didn’t know about Mai, but of course there was not a single one that knew of her, not a single one that could see her.
The two of them were now rocking with the train on the way to Ogaki. That was probably as far as they would go to confirm the circumstances around Mai. Around the time they arrived, the date changed over. With each station they passed, the number of passengers decreased.
As the number of people around decreased, the creaking of the wheels and rails and the jolts caused by joins in the rails gradually started to sound like a lullaby.
When a set of opposing booth seats opened up, Sakuta and Mai sat there side-by-side.
“In the Gifu prefecture, it’s got the most people after Gifu city.”
Mai suddenly spoke while looking at her smartphone.
“What are you talking about?”
There were nearly no people in the same carriage. There were a few people sat in seats far away, so there wasn’t much difference in the mood compared to them being alone.
“About Ogaki.”
“Ah.”
Thanks to that, their quiet voices were clearly audible to each other.
“Also, it says that it has a lot of underground water.”
“I’d give a warm welcome to somewhere with clean water.”
“…”
“…”
The two of them fell silent and the noise of the train filled the space. Of course, the surroundings outside of the train were pitch-black, so there was no enjoyment in gazing out of the window. Even so, Mai rested an elbow on the table under the window and looked out at the unfamiliar lands.
He thought about ten minutes passed without them saying anything.
“Hey, Sakuta.”
“What is it?”
“Can you see me?”
The reflection of Mai’s eyes in the glass held the profile of Sakuta’s face in their sight.
“I can see you.”
“Can, you hear me?”
“Loud and clear.”
“Do you remember me?”
“Sakurajima Mai, a third-year student at Minegahara High School in the Kanagawa prefecture. You debuted in the world of show-biz at a young age and, well, have had quite a few roles.”
“What’s that ‘quite a few’ for?”
“It’s probably because you spent so much time in the world of show-biz since you were a child, your personality’s warped and you’re not honest.”
“How?”
“By hiding it, even though you’re nervous.”
Sakuta said, and boldly held on to Mai’s hand. Her eyebrows raised in surprise, and her gaze dropped to him holding her hand.
“I didn’t say you could hold my hand.”
“I want to.”
“…”
“I think you can give me a bit of a reward, right?”
“…I guess there’s no choice.” Mai returned her gaze to the window, and her fingers slipped in between Sakuta’s. A lover’s clasp. It tickled and startled him. “This is a special occasion.”
Mai’s profile seemed a little embarrassed as she said that, and at the same time, she seemed to be enjoying watching Sakuta’s confusion.
Finally, the announcement came that the next stop was the terminus of Ogaki. Until they arrived, Sakuta and Mai didn’t release their grips.
When they alighted on the platform, the date had long since switched over and it was twenty to one in the morning. Sakuta asked the attendant about Mai and after his answer of ‘No, I don’t know her,’ they left through the ticket gates.
They ended up leaving through the southern entrance and then walked nearly to the bus terminal before they stopped. If it had been a station with nothing around it they would have worried over what to do, but with this station in the city centre alongside all the businesses they should at least be able to find somewhere to stay for the night.
The problem was where to stay. If Sakuta had been alone he could have used a manga cafe, but he couldn’t bring himself to take Mai to one, and she had told him earlier that she wanted a bath, as if it was a warning to him. Sakuta agreed with that, the sea breeze on the beach of Shichirigahama had completely covered them and he wanted to wash that off in the shower. He was a little sticky, and thought that his clothes might smell of salt.
Taking the various considerations into account, Sakuta decided to rely on the business hotel in front of the station as a safe place. When he asked if there was a free room the receptionist looked at him suspiciously, a natural reaction to a nearly empty-handed high school student saying he wanted to stay. Regardless, they passed through check-in with no issues. To prevent more awkward questions, he paid for a night’s stay first.
Because Mai was invisible there was no reason to check-in. Sakuta had turned to ask her if she was okay with sharing a room, but there was no need as Mai had headed straight for the lift. They rode the lift up to the sixth floor.
Their room was at the end of the corridor, room 601.
Sakuta cocked his head to the side in complete confusion at how to use the card-key, so Mai reached out her hand and opened the door.
“You can pull it out once you’ve put it in.”
Sakuta tried it for practice, but the lack of response sort of didn’t work, there was no sign of the door opening. But as Mai said, the door opened fine. The room was a single with one bed, an apologetically small dresser-cum-table, and a seat for it. It also had a nineteen-inch TV and a small fridge and kettle.
Frankly speaking it was cramped, and the bed took up around seventy percent of the room.
“So small.”
“That’s to be expected.”
Mai thumped down onto the bed, turned the TV on using the remote and took off her boots. She went through all the channels before immediately turning it off. She flopped back onto the bed from her seated position. Of course, she was probably tired as well. They had done nothing but travel, but that travel had exhausted Sakuta too and the sluggish feeling of fatigue pervaded his entire body.
“I’m taking a bath.”
Mai rose abruptly.
“Go ahead, go ahead.”
“Don’t peek.”
“It’s okay, the sound alone is enough to feed me for a day.”
“…”
Mai wordlessly pointed at the door, telling him to get out.
“I would have thought that tormenting a younger boy with the sound of the shower here would have been to the taste of a composed adult woman.”
“I-I know that, of course.” Mai sniffed as if that was always her plan. “In exchange, don’t do anything weird on your own, okay?”
“Anything weird?”
He pretended to not get what she meant.
“W-weird things are weird things. Idiot, I don’t care!”
Mai turned her head away and went into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her and loudly locking it.
“That was really cute…”
Finally, the sound of the shower filled the room. While listening to it, Sakuta checked the landline in the room. It looked like it could make external calls too.
He picked up the handset and dialled the only number he had memorised of his best friends.
The third ring cut off mid-way through, and he heard a familiar voice answer.
“What time do you think this is?”
Were the first sleepy words from Yuuma.
“Sixteen minutes past one.”
Sakuta immediately replied with the time on the bedside clock.
“I know that.”
“Were you asleep?”
“I was sound asleep, tired from club activities and work.”
“It’s an emergency, help me.”
“What d’you need?”
“First, I need to ask a question, do you remember Sakurajimsenpai?”
He felt like it was pointless though. Today he had asked dozens… maybe even hundreds of people about Mai, and not once had he heard the answer he wanted.
“Huh? Of course I do.”
“Right, you don’t.”
He replied reflexively.
“No, I do.”
Yuuma’s voice was still half asleep and he shook his head.
What had Yuuma just said?
“Kunimi!”
“Woah, don’t be so loud.”
“You know Sakurajimsenpai? Sakurajima Mai-senpai.”
“Obviously I do.” He didn’t understand why, not in the slightest, but surprisingly, Sakuta had found at least a single person. That joy, surprise, and confusion made his heart pound so hard that it hurt. “Was that it? I’m going to sleep.”
“Wait. Tell me Futaba’s number.”
“Eh, sure.” It seemed he had woken up a fair bit, and Yuuma grumbled out the number through complaints while Sakuta wrote it out on memo paper on the table. “Are you going to call her now?”
“That’s why I asked.”
“She’ll be angry and tell you you’ve got no common sense.”
“Rest assured, I thought that too.”
“Sure, I’m assured. Treat me to lunch at least, Futaba too.”
“Got it, night.”
“Yeah, night…”
He hung up the call and then phoned Rio, it soon connected and he named himself with “It’s Azusagawa.”
“What kind of time do you call this?”
Rio’s voice was displeased, and surprisingly clear. Perhaps she had still been awake.
“One nineteen.”
“That clock’s twenty-one minutes slow.”
“Ah, is it?” It was a business hotel, so he wished that they would set it right. “Is now a good time? Well, whether or not, I’d like to talk to you.”
“I see you’ve jumped feet first into another bothersome thing.”
“I wouldn’t really say it was bothersome.”
“The shower I can hear behind you is Sakurajimsenpai, right?”
“…You got it.”
Even while he was surprised at her far too sharp insight, Sakuta felt intensely uneasy.
“Your cute little sister wouldn’t be having a shower at this time of night. Besides, I can tell you’re not calling from your house just from the caller display.”
While he listened to Rio’s logic, Sakuta realised the reasoning behind his unease.
“Futaba, you remember Sakurajimsenpai too, right? You know her?”
Words seeking confirmation gushed forth.
“Of course I know someone so famous. Are you an idiot, Sakuta?”
“It’s because that’s happening that I phoned you at this idiotic time of night.”
Rio let out
a hum.
“Okay. I’ll listen to your idiot tale for you, idiotic Azusagawa.”
Sakuta took about twenty minutes to explain what was happening with Mai to Rio. He left out his guesses, telling her only what he had seen. Rio occasionally interjected for confirmation, but listened attentively for the entire conversation.
“…And that’s the size of it.”
Rio remained silent for a while after he had finished before finally saying.
“I see,” and then, after letting out a sigh of consideration continued with “I’m surprised your relationship has progressed so far.”
“Oi, did you listen to anything I said?”
“I didn’t want to hear about your romance.”
“I don’t remember calling you to talk about that.”
“You just sounded lovey-dovey, especially calling so late.”
“I’m not lovey-dovey.”
“Boasting then?”
“That’s ridiculous.”
“You say that, but it really is far too astounding.”
Rio spoke in a tone of voice showing just how troublesome she found it.
“Well I suppose so… if you preface it with the fact that Sakurajima Mai and I are together, there’s nothing strange about people not being able to see her, or even her vanishing from their memories.”
“Ah, that’s true.”
“…Why you.”
He’d said it as a Joke, but Rio had immediately agreed.
“We did talk about this before though, and I denied the existence of Adolescence Syndrome.”
“I know, you said it was illogical, right?”
“Right.”
Even so, the reason she didn’t brand him a braggart was that he had shown her the wounds on Kaede, and the scars across his chest. At that she had said ‘It’s illogical, but believing what you’re saying is consistent overall.’
Of course, Sakuta hadn’t spoken a single lie. Him leaving his hometown and coming to the scene of Minegahara High School was intertwined with Kaede’s Adolescence Syndrome. If it wasn’t, he would have probably gone to school near his home, not met Makinohara Shouko, and never had the opportunity to know of Minegahara High School.
“So, what are you expecting from me?”
“I want you to think about why this could be happening, and to find something to fix it.”
“You’re being unreasonable, Azusagawa.”
“I’m panicking, so I’m getting unreasonable.”
“…”
“Huh? Futaba? You there?”
“Kunimi said something before.”
“Huh?”
Why was she bringing up Yuuma here?
“That being able to say ‘thank you’, ‘sorry’, and ‘help me’ was one of your good points.”
“No one other than you two would say that.”
Sakuta snorted at that to hide his embarrassment.
“Got it, I’ll think at least, don’t expect anything.”
“No, I will.”
“You know…”
“Thank you, it really helps.”
Honestly, Sakuta was uneasy too. The future was completely uncertain. Ever since Kaede’s case of Adolescence Syndrome he hadn’t known how to even fight that fear, and he still didn’t. It scared him.
In the future, he might end up unable to see Mai, unable to hear her voice, forgetting her entirely. That scared him above all else.
“What about school tomorrow?”
“We’re over in Ogaki at the moment, so we won’t make it for the morning. Why though?”
He didn’t think Rio would ask about his plans for tomorrow meaninglessly.
“From a brief consideration, the only thing you, Kunimi and I have in common is the school.”
“I see.”
“And so, I thought that the cause might be at school.”
“…That could be it.”
Suddenly, Sakuta remembered that today… well by the date it would be yesterday, what happened with the high school girl he had met together with the lost girl when they met again where his date with Mai was supposed to start… Koga Tomoe. When they had met again at the station, Tomoe had been able to see Mai, and so had her friends.
“So it was a waste of time coming out this far…?”
While thinking on that, he told Rio about Tomoe and her friends.
“It ended up as information that helped clarify what’s going on, so it wasn’t a waste. Thanks to that we were able to think that the case might be at Minegahara High School.”
“Right… that’s good then. I’ll be in school tomorrow, though it might be around lunch by that time. Sorry about the time.”
“You should be.”
Rio hung up while stifling a yawn and Sakuta put the phone down as well. He noticed that he had unconsciously risen to his feet, and slumped down onto the bed. At some point, the sound of the shower had stopped, and he hadn’t noticed it because he was concentrating on the call with Rio.
“Uwah, that’s a waste.”
As he voiced his regret, the bathroom door opened slightly and from that opening, Mai poked out her face with a towel wrapped around her hair. Her shoulders, fleetingly visible were glowing pink from the hot water, and steam was coming off her.
“What do I do about underwear?”
“Huh?”
“Wearing the same clothes is fine, but I don’t want the same socks or underwear.”
“Shall I wash them?”
“I’d rather die.”
“They’re yours, so I don’t care if they’re dirty.”
“T-they’re not dirty!”
“If anything, that’d raise their value.”
“Stop your perverted thoughts.”
She took the towel around her hair and flung it at him. It hit his face head-on, Sakuta having forgotten to dodge because he was allured by the sight of Mai’s slightly damp hair. However, that was the correct decision, as a pleasant scent rose from the towel, though it was probably that of the shampoo.
“Are you not wearing them now, Mai-san?”
“I’ve got a bath towel on.”
“Ohhh.”
“Don’t get aroused from weird imaginings.”
“It’s a delusion, so it’s fine.”
“Why are you so perverted?”
“It’s unreasonable to tell me not to get excited when I’m in a hotel with my beautiful senpai.”
“Are you trying to say it’s my fault?”
“I think a moderate estimate would definitely say it was half your fault.” Sakuta stood as he spoke and checked his wallet. “If you’re okay with underwear from a convenience store, I’ll buy some. I want to change mine too?”
“Are you sure?”
“I’ve got the money.”
He showed the pittance in his wallet to Mai. He had deposited his wages before they left Fujisawa, so it was nothing compared to the fifty thousand yen from earlier, but he had enough for a pair of five hundred-ish yen underwear.
“That’s not what I mean… isn’t it embarrassing for a boy to buy that kind of thing?”
“Hm? Ah, it might be, but I’m used to it.”
“Used to it?”
Mai looked at him in puzzlement, as if she didn’t understand what he meant.
“Buying hygiene products for my little sister numbed that. Now I can enjoy the female staffs’ reactions.”
Kaede refused to leave the house, so Sakuta bought her clothes and underwear too.
“What a bothersome customer.”
“I’m off then.”
“Wait, I’ll come too.”
Mai withdrew her head and closed the door, locking it. She was either being exceedingly cautious, or didn’t trust him in the slightest.
“You can just leave it to me.”
“I have a feeling you’d pick something excessive.”
“I’m going to a convenience store though.”
They’d only have simple ones.
“Besides, wearing underwear that a boy picked out is disgusting.”
Perhaps because she was dressing in such a small bathroom, her words were interspersed with ‘ngh’ sounds, it was very erotic. After a while, the sounds from the bathroom changed to that of a hair dryer.
It took over ten minutes of waiting in the end before Mai finally came out.
“Come on, let’s go.”
“Riiight.”
Sakuta and Mai avoided the front desk and left through the back entrance. A high school student going out on his own would draw attention and there was no better way to make the suspicious gazes that had been sent his way at check-in abate. It was actually helpful that Mai was invisible now. If they were a pair, that would have lead to more speculation and might have even involved the police. Well, if she was visible, they wouldn’t have come this far anyway…
The looked up and down the street and saw the glow of a green sign above a convenience store about fifty metres from the station. Naturally, the two of them walked in that direction. After they had walked along the deserted footpath for a while, Mai murmured.
“It’s kind of strange.”
Mai’s profile looked like she was enjoying herself as she looked at the sleepy street while walking with her hands clasped behind her back.
“Hm?”
“Being in a town I don’t know like this.”
Mai was walking with deliberate clicks of her heels, like a soldier’s march.
“Didn’t you go to a lot of places for filming?”
“I didn’t go to places, I was taken to them.”
“Ah, I know what you mean.”
He had been much further on family trips. On a trip[ in middle school he had been further than this to Kyoto, and in elementary school he had gone to Nikko. He had been to many places on school trips, be he had never felt like he had gone there himself. Like Mai said, he had been taken there.
So Sakuta might be enjoying it like Mai was, he might have had a sense of exaltation that he had never felt before at the instant he had boarded the train along the Tokaido line. He hadn’t chosen a destination, just picked a train that went far away to search for someone that could see Mai, someone that could remember her…
He had come here himself, and of course couldn’t return himself. That tension was enjoyable.
Sakuta and Mai were on a little adventure, even ignoring Adolescence Syndrome, it was unusual, and it was the first time he had had this kind of enjoyment.
“I was in the hotels outside of the actual shootings. Even though it was a town that I didn’t know, everyone knew me so I didn’t want to go out.”
“Is that a boast?”
“You know that’s not true. Are you just looking for attention?”
Mai’s eyes smiled at seeing through him.
“Found out, huh.”
Mai laughed through her nose and called him spoilt at his attempt to hide his embarrassment.
“But the strangest thing is walking around a town I don’t know with a younger boy.”
“I didn’t think I’d be walking around a distant town with Sakurajima Mai either.”
“It’s an honour.”
“I’ll never forget it.”
Sakuta put it in to words with clear purpose. There was no way to avoid it, in reality Mai was vanishing from people’s memories.
“…”
Mai said nothing. So Sakuta emphasised it again.
“I’ll definitely not forget.”
“…What if you do?”
“I’ll eat pocky through my nose.”
“Don’t play with your food.”
“You’re the one to suggest it.”
Mai said no more on that, just smiling.
“…Hey, Sakuta.”
“Yeah?”
“…You really won’t?”
“…”
“You really won’t forget?”
She spoke to Sakuta with wavering eyes, as if testing him.
“The image of you in a bunny suit is burned into my mind.”
Mai let out a sigh.
“You still have that outfight, right?”
Her tone was completely scolding. It was the truth so he didn’t mind, but…
“Of course.”
“You’re probably using it for weird things.”
“I haven’t used it yet.”
“When we get back, get rid of it.”
“Ehh.”
“Don’t ‘ehh’ me.”
“Will you wear it one more time?”
“What are you asking me so seriously?”
Mai looked at him utterly aghast. Even so, he didn’t give up and kept looking at her.
“As thanks for today too… just one more time.” At that, with some embarrassment, she gave in. “Thank you.”
“Dealing with a younger boy’s urges is nothing.”
Betraying her words, Mai looked away. He couldn’t really tell in the dark, but she might be blushing.
“Well, we need to pick out underwear first.”
“I won’t let you choose them.”
The discussion progressed like that and the two arrived at the convenience store.
The greeter’s call of welcome followed them into the store. There were no other customers in the store and the other member of staff was ordering the sweet shelves. The necessities they were looking for were on shelves near the entrance. He picked up a basket and stood in front of them with Mai.
There were socks, T-Shirts, towels, stockings, and of course, the underwear and camisoles they were looking for.
He didn’t know because he had never really looked in depth, but they had a more complete range than he thought, each of them was folded up in a plastic case to make them easy to pick up. As far as female underwear went, there were panties and camisoles, and a choice in size between small and medium, in pink or black.
With no hesitation, Mai picked up a pair of black panties and likewise, a black camisole and dropped them in the basket before adding a pair of socks.
“Pink would have been nice.”
“It’s not like I’m going to show you them, so it doesn’t matter.”
“Uwah, I really wanna see.”
“Saying stupid things will make you stupid.”
Mai went towards the drink corner while stifling a yawn. Being stubborn wouldn’t change anything, so Sakuta put a pair of boxers along with a T-shirt and pair of socks in the basket for himself and then followed after Mai.
“Well, black is fine too.”
“Did you say something?”
“Nope.”
They returned to the hotel and after changing, they filled their stomachs with the sandwiches they bought. They had eaten on the way, but the last thing they ate was four hours ago, so they were hungry.
Once they finished their short meal, Sakuta took a shower. The first thing he said when done was.
“We should go home first thing in the morning.”
She showed a slight amount of surprise, but seemed to agree and said.
“You must be worried about your sister.”
“Well, I am, but I found someone. Someone that remembers you.”
“…Really?”
“My friends that go to Minegahara high School.”
“When did you find that out.”
“I phoned them while you were in the shower.”
He pointed at the phone in the corner.
“You’ve got no common sense, phoning so late, you’ll lose your friends.”
“I apologised, so it’s fine.”
“Such self-confidence.”
“I think I’d forgive them for the same.”
“That would be good… but,
but, I see. There are still other people that remember me.”
“The cause might be at school.”
He had no proof, but there were no other clues so he could only pin his hopes on that.
“I get it. Let’s sleep then.”
“Ummm, where should I sleep?”
He asked Mai, who had taken up a position on the bed. He looked up at her wearing a dressing gown in place of pyjamas.
“The floor, the bath? I think that will make the hotel staff angry, so bear with the floor.” Mai’s gaze fell on the single bed after staring steadily at Sakuta. After a moment of thought, she asked. “Can you promise not to do anything?”
“I promise.”
He answered instantly.
“Liar.” She didn’t trust him in the slightest. “Well, I was the one that dragged you to a hotel.”
“Don’t say it like you tricked me.”
“I’ll let you sleep next to me.”
“Really?”
“Did you want to sleep in the corridor?”
“I want to sleep with you.”
In this situation, those words sounded like they had a different meaning.
“…”
An, in fact, Mai’s eyes sharped warily.
“I want to sleep next to you.”
Sakuta hurriedly corrected himself.
“…Come on.”
Mai moved to only take up half of the bed, and Sakuta lay down in the space. It was warm from Mai sitting there a little while ago.
“…”
“…”
They were quietly trying to sleep.
“Hey, Sakuta.”
And then Mai spoke.
“What is it?”
“It’s cramped.”
Of course it was, having two people in a single bed would obviously be a tight fit and turning over would see them hit each other.
“Are you telling me to get out?”
He turned his head to the side and his eyes met Mai’s, who had turned in the same way. Mai’s face was right in front of his, and he felt like he could count her long eyelashes in the dim light…
“Talk to me.”
“About what?”
“About something fun.”
“That’s a tough one. D’you enjoy botherin’ me?”
He slurred slightly to evade it.
“I wonder.”
Mai spoke without a single change in her expression.
“Ain’t actin’ like that if it ain’t fun awful?”
“Don’t you enjoy me teasing you?”
“You get that and you still play with me, you really do have a queen’s personality.”
“I’m just giving a reward to you and your masochism.”
“I don’t think there’s a man that wouldn’t enjoy being teased by such a beautiful senpai.”
“Is that a compliment?”
“It’s high praise.”
“Hmmm.”
Their conversation paused there. With the two of their voices being silent, the drone of the air conditioner and the ventilation fan in the bathroom reigned throughout the room. There was no traffic noise from outside, and not even a peep from the neighbouring rooms.
It was just Sakuta and Mai.
Sakuta could only feel his and Mai’s presence in the narrow single room. Mai didn’t look away from him either.
“…”
“…”
A long time passed with them in silence. They blinked several times, and Mai’s long breaths weighed on his ears.
With no forewarning, Mai’s lips slowly moved.
“Hey, let’s kiss.”
He was surprised, but didn’t shudder.
“Mai-san, are you sexually frustrated?”
“Moooron.” Mai wasn’t angry at Sakuta after teasing him. She wasn’t perplexed or embarrassed, she just smiled in amusement. “I’m sleeping now, night.”
Mai turned her back to him. Her long hair flowed and revealed the nape her neck. Thinking that he might end up embracing her if he kept looking at that, Sakuta turned away and was now back-to-back with Mai.
“Hey, Sakuta.”
“Weren’t you sleeping?”
“If I started shaking and crying and said ‘I don’t want to disappear’, what would you do?”
“I’d hold you from behind and whisper ‘it’s going to be alright’.”
“I definitely won’t do that then.”
“Huh, not good enough?”
“You’d take advantage and grope my chest.”
“What about your backside.”
“That’s obviously out.” She treated it lightly and tiredly. “…I can’t disappear, I decided to go back to show business.”
Her continuation was delivered in a near whisper.
“That’s right.”
“I wanted to be in dramas, and in movies… I even wanted to be on stage. I wanted to do a good job with directors, co-actors and the other staff, and feel alive.”
“And then go to Hollywood.”
“Fu fu, that would be nice.”
“Maybe I should get your autograph now.”
“My autograph’s already pretty valuable.”
“Ah, that’s true.”
“Really… I can’t disappear.”
“…”
“I just got to know a cheeky younger boy, and started to enjoy going to school…”
“I won’t forget you.”
Sakuta spoke softly, still back-to-back with her.
“…”
She didn’t reply.
“I absolutely won’t forget you.”
“Do you have that certainty?”
Sakuta ignored that question.
“Because, you can kiss at any time, it doesn’t need to be now… you don’t need to rush it… it doesn’t need to be me. You’ll go to Hollywood easily I think, and be able to do everything else. That’s what I think.”
“…” She was silent for a while, and then answered. “…Right. Unfortunately, that was your first and last chance to take my first kiss.”
“If you’d said that before, I’d have done it.”
“Too late.” Chuckles came from Mai, but they soon stopped. “…Thank you. Thank you for not giving up on me.”
“…”
Sakuta pretended to be asleep and didn’t answer. If they talked anymore, he might actually embrace her.
Finally, he heard the soft breaths of Mai’s sleep. He tried to sleep while feeling that, but being next to Mai, there was no way he could do so.
3
In the end, Sakuta didn’t get a wink of sleep, and spent the several hours until the sky turned bright listening to Mai’s quiet breathing. Of course, the mood took an odd turn, but even when he worked up the nerve to look at her, she showed no sign of waking, and on the contrary, it made him seem childish getting excited on his own. Concentrating and thinking that it was him alone made it die away.
That should have made it easy to fall asleep, but in addition to Mai sleeping next to him, the fatigue from the long journey made his joints ache and they kept Sakuta up all night. As time slipped past him like that, the other side of the curtains brightened.
As the time passed half six, Mai awoke and they greeted each other. Then they started preparing to check out. That said, they were almost empty handed, so Sakuta’s preparations were rather lacking.
Mai wasn’t finished so easily and said she would take a bath first, spending more than thirty minutes. Just when he finally thought they were ready to leave, she said she had other things to do and had forced him from the room, how unfair.
To kill the time appropriately, Sakuta went to the same store as yesterday to buy breakfast. He would have to walk slowly…
When he returned, they each ate their cream bun and finally checked out as the clock revolved to eight o’clock.
They headed to Ogaki Station and boarded the train and then travelled for several hundred kilometres. However, unlike the day before, they used a bullet train from Nagoya so Sakuta and Mai returned to Kanagawa and Fujisawa rather quickly.
It was still during the morning when they arrived home. That was the dream super express for you, it was super fast. After returning temporarily to their own homes, they met up again in front of the buildings.
“You look so slovenly.”
Said Mai, who had changed and arrived first, while she watched Sakuta stifle a yawn.
“And you’re as beautiful as always.”
“Your tie’s crooked. Hold this.”
Mai pushed her bag on to Sakuta and put her hands to his collar, fixing his tie.
“I hadn’t thought you’d do newlywed play so quickly, Mai-san. Thank you.”
“Leave the stupidity to your face.”
She took her bag back and walked on ahead.
“Ah, wait.”
He rushed after her, pulling up alongside her. The streets should have been familiar, but evoked a faint sense of nostalgia, and a feeling as if he had left the house empty for a week dwelt in his chest.
And yet they had only left the day before. Being late to the promised date was only yesterday as well, and that had already become memory.
As he thought these things:
“Phwaah.”
He let out a yawn. The damage from the all-nighter was severe, and coming here had suddenly made him sleepy.
“Whaat, not enough sleep?”
Mai looked at Sakuta’s eyes, they were probably bloodshot.
“And whose fault do you think that is?”
“Are you trying to say it’s my fault?”
“It’s because you didn’t let me sleep last night.”
“Wasn’t that just you getting yourself aroused?”
“Either way, I was tense.”
Sakuta spoke honestly as he yawned once more.
“You’ve got a charm to you too, Sakuta.”
“You really don’t have a care in the world, you slept so well.”
“When I was a child I went everyone for shootings, I even slept in the dressing room. Besides…” Mai paused and made a face like a child that had just thought of a prank. “Sleeping next to you is nothing.”
“That was good to hear, I’ll make sure pull a joke on you next time.”
“You haven’t actually got the courage to do anything.”
Sakuta and Mai arrived at school during the lunch break. It was the time almost all of the students were relaxing after finishing their meals. They could hear some of the students playing on the basketball courts from the courtyard. That everyday feeling of school felt a little unfamiliar. Like coming back to school after the spring or winter holidays. They switched to indoor shoes in the entrance hall and Mai said.
“I’ll look around the school.”
“I’ll go to Futaba. Ah, Futaba’s the friend that remembers you-”
“‘Futaba’, so she’s a girl? That’s a surprise.”
Mai stopped as she went to leave.
“Futaba is their surname.”
Though, she wasn’t wrong about Futaba being a girl…
“I see. Later then.”
Sakuta unconsciously watched her back as she left down the corridor. She passed by a female student holding a bundle of notes, the geography professor holding his slides from class, and a group of girls chattering about an older student in the basketball club.
None of them paid attention to Mai, or even looked at her. Sakuta didn’t think it was strange, that was always the case. That was the position Mai had been put in within school.
That was what ostracism looked like at its extreme, it went beyond simply pretending not to see her, and was as if she had long since become part of the atmosphere. That establishment of ignoring her was similar to something.
It was the reaction of people that hadn’t been able to see her even without thinking about it. That same attitude had been the case in Minegahara High School for a long time, since before Sakuta had arrived…
Mai passed between the students. The scene was completely identical to that caused by the Adolescence Syndrome.
“…”
There was only a fragment of logic to it, but he had a feeling that there was a connection, a feeling that he was vaguely gazing at the cause.
Sakuta felt the same way as Rio, who had said that the cause might be within the school.
“Azusagawa.”
He turned at his name and Rio was standing behind him, her hands in her lab coat pockets. She looked at Sakuta and yawned, setting him yawning as well.
“I have bad news.” At those sudden words from Rio, Sakuta tensed. “Everyone other than me may have forgotten Sakurajimsenpai.”
“…!?”
He frowned, that certainly was bad news.
“At the very least, Kunimi doesn’t remember her.”
“Really?”
Rio had no reason to lie, it wasn’t the kind of joke to make in this situation, and Sakuta was well aware that Rio didn’t have the kind of personality to make that kind of joke. But Sakuta reflexively sought confirmation, and wanted it to be a lie.
“When I said her name, Kunimi asked who it was, I haven’t checked with the other students, but…”
In that case, Sakuta thought they should ask the other students. He looked around, but the necessity soon vanished. Mai came running back to them, gasping and panicked… her expression pale in fright. After she regained her breath, she looked right at Sakuta and asked:
“Can you still see me?”
“Yes, I can see you perfectly.”
He answered with a deep nod. The tension drained from Mai’s face.
“Thank goodness…”
She let out a sigh, hiding her relief. But what should he do. For some reason, she was only visible to Sakuta and Rio, the other students had probably forgotten her. Yesterday at least, Sakuta, Rio, Yuuma… and Koga Tomoe and her friends had been able to see Mai.
“That’s it, Koga Tomoe!”
Sakuta ran off alone, to the first years’ classrooms.
He looked through each of the classrooms on the first floor and Tomoe was in the fourth he checked, class 1-4. She was at a window desk with the friends he had seen yesterday, eating their lunches.
At the sound of the first of them seeing him, all four of them looked towards Sakuta.
“That-”
Tomoe looked at Sakuta and muttered. Seeing that, Sakuta stopped in front of the teacher’s desk and called to them.
“Do you know Sakurajima Mai-senpai?”
The four of them, including Tomoe looked at each other and started to speak amongst themselves.
“What’s this about, Tomoe, you know?”
“I-I don’t.”
“Besides, Sakura… Mai?”
“Who’s that?”
Sakuta jumped in again.
“You saw her yesterday by the Enoden ticket gates at Fujisawa Station.” The four of them looked to each other again and each shook their head. “How can you have forgotten her? It’s Sakurajimsenpai the actress, right?”
Sakuta took a step forward.
“Think about it properly, she’s in third year and a real beauty… that’s who she is!”
He approached even closer and Tomoe’s expression tightened.
“Remember!”
He put his hands on her shoulders.
“I-I don’t get it!”
Frightened, tears welled in Tomoe’s eyes.”
“Please!”
“Ow.”
He noticed the strength of his grip.
“Sakuta, stop.”
He heard a voice of restraint at his ear
his ear and Mai caught his wrists.
Slowly, Sakuta removed his hands from Tomoe’s shoulders.
“My bad, I’m sorry.”
“R-right…”
“I’m really sorry. Excuse me.”
He apologised once more and left the classroom with heavy feet.
“Azusagawa.”
Rio waved a hand, beckoning him along the corridor from where she had arrived afterwards.
“What?”
Rio was stationary, so Sakuta had no choice but to leave Mai behind and approach.
“I have a single idea.”
She spoke, quietly so only Sakuta could hear her.
However, she paused, as if she wasn’t sure how to continue.
“Tell me.”
“Say, Azusagawa… did you sleep last night?”
That was the question she started with.
After school that day, Sakuta went back with Mai as far as Fujisawa Station before they parted. Even at a time like this, Sakuta had a shift and couldn’t take it off. Mai had told him to take the shift as well.
He worked until nine through sleepy eyes, and on the way home, dropped in to a convenience store. He walked around the store as he checked the displays. The energy drinks he was looking for were by the cashiers, with things like the jelly drinks.
There were drinks that cost two hundred yen each, and those which cost enough for a large beef bowl. Actually, he even found some that cost more than two thousand yen. What on Earth was the difference between them, and which should he get?
For now, he picked up three drinks and some mint gum and tablets to keep him awake.
It all came to a little less than two thousand yen. Combined with the cost of the round trip to Ogaki yesterday and the stay in the business hotel, he wallet was just getting lighter and had essentially nothing left anymore.
That said, this wasn’t the time to be stingy.
Rio’s words went across his mind.
“Say, Azusagawa… did you sleep last night?”
Sakuta had answered that with “Not a wink.” Rio had then seemed to have known.
“I didn’t either.”
“…”
Sakuta hadn’t understood the meaning and had waited for her to continue.
“It’s nothing more than a simple conclusion, but I wasn’t with Sakurajimsenpai.”
“…That’s right.”
“Do you remember the talk about Observation theory?”
“Schrödinger’s Cat, right.”
“I honestly thought it was ridiculous…” Rio’s eyes had looked towards Mai at that point, who had been standing a little further away. Rio hadn’t seemed sure of what expression she should have, or what she should so, and had clearly been perplexed. “Experiencing it in person is chilling.”
“Adolescence Syndrome?”
“No, even before that happened, she was treated like the atmosphere within school.”
“That’s right.”
“I went with the flow as well, and accepted the situation as if it was normal. I had no doubts about it.”
“If anything, it’s because there aren’t any doubts about it that it happened. If people realised what they were doing was wrong, they wouldn’t really be able to carry on, would they?”
He didn’t think there were many that could know something was wrong, was uncool, pathetic, and lame… and even hold their heads high and proclaim ‘I’m ignoring my classmate.’ Something would be wrong with them.
The girl who acted as the ringleader when Kaede was bullied was like that, she was completely lost and just said: ‘Did I do something wrong?’
For the circumstances with Mai, she herself was probably also the cause. She had tried to act as the atmosphere on some occasions, and the people surrounding her had acted to accept that. She had wanted to disappear, had behaved as the atmosphere. Acting.
“But that’s why it seems likely that the cause is the atmosphere here.” Rio had muttered to herself, reading between the lines in Sakuta’s statement. “For Sakurajimsenpai, the school is the box with the cat in.”
“…”
No one saw her, no one tried to see her. Because no one was observing her, Mai’s existence became indeterminate… so she was vanishing. And it wasn’t that she was ceasing to be, it was that she would have never been. Being unrecognised by everyone was the same as not existing in the world…
A chill had run through him, a visceral understanding of Rio’s words.
In essence, the cause was at the school, in the consciousness of every student. In their sub-conscious apathy towards Mai. She didn’t stay in their hearts, and Rio was suggesting that Adolescence Syndrome could have induced those feelings that couldn’t even be called feelings.
How should they change their sub-conscious? They didn’t even realise there was a problem, didn’t even think the problem was a problem. There were around one thousand of those students in Minegahara High School.
Was there a way to turn their apathy towards Mai into sympathy.
“…”
It felt like there was a gaping void of darkness before his eyes.
It was the true cause of his chill, the truth behind the origin. Something that Sakuta would have to defeat, something that could be called his enemy. It wasn’t a visible thing, but it certainly existed, the ‘atmosphere’. That same ‘atmosphere’ that Sakuta had called ridiculous to fight.
“If the atmosphere in the school is the cause, then why is Mai invisible even to people unrelated?”
“She might have been removed from the atmosphere of the school.”
Sakuta hadn’t thought he could deny that possibility back when he met her at Shonandai Library and when she had gone to the Aquarium in Enoshima. Mai had acted like the atmosphere, and Sakuta himself had thought she might be the cause.
But now, that wasn’t the case.
Mai didn’t want to vanish anymore, she had declared that definitively. She had decided to return to show business, and even though it had been a joke, she had asked Sakuta:
“If I started shaking and crying and said ‘I don’t want to disappear’, what would you do?”
And said to him:
“I just got to know a cheeky younger boy, and started to enjoy going to school…”
They were without a doubt Mai’s true feelings.
“Even so, the atmosphere spreads easily.” Rio had said disinterestedly. “We live in an era where people just read that atmosphere as they like, and information can cross the globe in an instant, that’s how convenient things are nowadays.”
He had gone to deny it, having many thoughts on how to do so. Even Rio had to have realised that the explanation was full of holes. Even so, he could agree that there were areas where the era was indeed like that. It was… a convenient era, and at the same time, an unpleasant one…
“…”
And so, he had not been able to reply. In the first place, Sakuta saw no meaning in arguing about the cause of the phenomena spreading. All that mattered to him was the reality before him.
“Coming back to the point…” Rio had watched his silence and carefully added her final explanation. “If consciousness and observation are the key, I can somewhat accept the change occurring when people are unconscious and asleep.”
When it happened, people could see, could think. But when they were asleep they couldn’t remain cognisant of something, you could even say their cognitive power dropped. As a result, they accepted Mai’s change to the atmosphere while their consciousness halted.
“…”
He remembered last night and his insides froze. Because if he had slept, he might not have remembered Mai now…
He chewed the gum to keep himself awake as he returned home, and drank the first energy drink of his life. It had a strange sweetness, quite distinct from juice, and had a slight acidity to its taste.
It was by no means unpleasant and was easy enough to drink, but he didn’t enjoy the flavour when the mood was taken into account.
He hadn’t been expecting much of an effect, but his body was clearly energised, and he was wide awake with his mind clear.
“Onii-chan, what did you drink?” Kaede tilted her head at him when she saw the bottle in the kitchen. It was nearly eleven o’clock, and Kaede would normally be sleeping so she was fairly sleepy. Her eyes were drooping, but she didn’t make a move towards her room, probably because she still had him leaving yesterday on her mind. She then added. “I won’t sleep until you make up for yesterday.”
And so he spoke with Kaede for a while, mainly about the books she had read recently.
In the beginning, she had indeed said she wouldn’t sleep until morning, but she was curled up on the sofa with Nasuno within an hour.
He gathered her up into his arms and took her to her room. Countless books were gathered inside and there were piles of books near his feet that wouldn’t fit into the bookcases. Taking care where he put his feet, Sakuta approached her bed and lay her down inside.
“Night.”
He put a blanket over her and turned out the light before quietly shutting the door behind him.
Sakuta threw several mint tablets into his mouth and then returned to his own room. They cooled his mouth and nose.
While he was still thinking clearly, there was something he had to do. He sat in front of his desk and opened a notebook. He wasn’t going to study or anything. He had exams from tomorrow, so he should, but his grades were secondary. He had to prepare for the worst.
He scratched his head with his pencil and began writing.
Writing his memories of the last three weeks, the days since he had met Mai…
He continued writing for the entire night.
6th May
I met a wild bunny girl. Her identity was my senpai in her third year at Minegahara High School, the famous Sakurajima Mai.
This was the start of it, our meeting. I can’t forget it.
Even if you do forget, remember it, hold firm, future me.
4
The first day of the three day period of exams was a wretched time for Sakuta.
On top of not having studied at all the previous night, he hadn’t slept in two days and his concentration was near non-existent. Even when he tried to think, his thoughts stopped when he was reading the questions and his mind blanked. He just gazed at the exam paper, taking it in.
After the test, he looked in the next classroom over in search of Rio. She was wearing her lab coat even in the classroom, so she was easily identifiable.
She noticed him as well, and gathered up her things and came out into the corridor.
“Do you remember?”
Sakuta asked nervously.
“Huh? What do you mean?”
Rio looked quizzically at him.
“Ah, doesn’t matter.”
“Right, I’m going to the lab.”
“Later.” He raised his hand as she left. Rio left while waving the sleeve of her lab coat. It was no good expecting her to suddenly turn around and say she was joking, she continued off and vanished up the stairs. “So your theory was correct.”
Rio herself having forgotten Mai was proof of that. Now, Sakuta was the only one that was left. The only one that could remember Mai, hear her, or see her.
“Wheew, this is getting me fired up.”
Against this adversity, Sakuta could only force himself to feel his will to fight.
The next day was the twenty-eighth of May, the second day of the exams, and went no better.
He was sleepy, so sleepy. Each time he blinked, he could feel the call of slumber. He just wanted to close his eyes.
He hadn’t slept since the date on Sunday. Today was Wednesday, the fourth day without sleep. He was already far past his limit.
He felt nauseous, and had actually vomited twice already and was worried about what would come up next time.
His condition was awful. His pulse was uneven and pounding in his ears. For all that, he was pallid, and Yuuma had called him zombie-like on the train that morning with a serious, worried face.
His one saving grace was that he didn’t have shifts at work during the exams. Working in this condition would be too much.
His eyelids were heavy and his eyes wouldn’t open. The sunlight was tiresome and pinching his thighs was starting to not wake him up the stimulus not reaching him unless it was something like jabbing himself with his pencil.
“You look tired.”
Mai said to him on the way back.
Even though only Sakuta could see her, she had come to school every day. She had said that she had nothing else to do, but he didn’t think she was so calm. He was sure she would be uneasy staying alone in her home all day, and would be hoping that if she went to school that day, maybe everything would have gone back to normal.
“I’m always like this during tests. I’m just cramming.”
“This only happens to you because you don’t study.”
“Don’t put it like a teacher.”
“If you put it like that…”
“Hm?”
“I’ll help you study.”
“If you’re in my room with me, I’ll only be able to think perverted things, so let’s not.”
“…” Mai looked honestly surprised, like she hadn’t expected him to refuse. “R-right… that’s fine then.”
“See you tomorrow then.”
They separated in front of the flats.
He entered the lift and breathed a sigh of relief. He couldn’t let her know that he wasn’t sleeping, if he did she would tell him that he couldn’t keep going without sleep. He didn’t want to make her worry and didn’t want her to feel responsible for something he had decided to do himself.
Once he returned home, he opened a physics book in the living room. He had borrowed it from Rio on the day that he returned from Ogaki, hoping to find a hint for some solution.
It was a primer designed to break up quantum theory. But even theory. But even that was difficult and wouldn’t stay in his head. He had been ignoring studying for his mid-term exams and reading this instead, but his hands were heavy as he turned the pages.
The physics book didn’t work with his drowsy eyelids, acting like a strong sleeping pill. He cried out to link his fading consciousness to his desire, and somehow followed the explanatory notes.
He wanted to save Mai. That was all that was sustaining him.
After about an hour, Kaede’s stomach growled as she sat in the living room with him, reading as well. Sakuta wordlessly rose and started to prepare food and then ate with Kaede.
“Onii-chan, you look pale, are you okay?”
Kaede said something from the other side of the table, and though he looked in that direction, Sakuta forgot to respond.
“…”
“Onii-chan?”
“Ahh, hmm?”
His thoughts had stopped from fatigue.
“Are you okay?”
“My tests are going on now.”
He wasn’t confident it would work as an excuse.
“Don’t push yourself too much.”
“Yeah, I won’t.”
Though that said, pushing himself or otherwise, Sakuta couldn’t sleep.
If he slept, he would forget Mai.
It wasn’t a certainty, but it was a high probability.
Because of that, Sakuta couldn’t sleep.
“Thank you for the food.”
“Thank you for the meal.”
After he and Kaede finished their meal, Sakuta went for a walk to the convenience store. Staying sat down after the meal was dangerous, and he felt sleepy even when he was standing. He was at the point of falling asleep while standing on the train to school, holding the straps. As he had collapsed, his knee had folded, and thanks to the collision with the suited man he had just managed to wake up, it was really dangerous.
He bought energy drinks, the expensive ones that were the same price as a beef bowl. Probably because he was drinking them continuously, their effectiveness had started to wane. Even so, they had a huge effect, and after two or three hours, drowsiness assaulted him. Even so, it was much better than not drinking them.
He exited the store while he put his wallet in his back pocket.
The wind caressed his cheek and Sakuta halted there with a lurch.
Someone was in front of him. He felt a shudder of his body betraying him, which gradually became on uneasy sweat.
“What did you buy?”
Mai was standing there in her casual clothes looking dauntingly at him.
He frantically dug through his halted mind for an excuse but couldn’t think of anything, his sleepiness having robbed his faculties.
“Ahh, umm.”
Mai snatched the bag from him and checked inside.
“I was right, you’re not sleeping.”
She cut to the heart of things.
“…”
It seemed that Sakuta was wrong about it not getting found out. His current condition was visible at a glance, both Yuuma and Kaede had pointed it out. It would have been stranger for Mai not to have noticed.
“Did you think you could hide it.”
“I hoped I could.”
“Idiot, you can’t just keep that up.”
“I couldn’t think of anything else.”
He said like a sulky child.
He knew all too well that he wouldn’t be able to continue. Humans couldn’t live without sleep, and even if that weren’t the case, it wouldn’t solve anything. Even if he knew it was pointless, Sakuta had no choice but to continue with that pointlessness. He still hadn’t found anything to solve the incomprehensible phenomenon that was tormenting Mai. He didn’t even know if there was a solution. But even so, he had to search for one, and he couldn’t sleep until he had found it. Even if he couldn’t find one, he had no intention of just giving up and going to sleep.
He wanted to keep remembering Mai, even if it was just for another day. He wanted to be with her, even if it was just another minute. He wanted to reduce the amount of time she was alone, even if it was just another second. That was all his frazzled brain could think.
“You’re so pale, you really are an idiot.”
“I think so too, this time.”
“Come on, let’s go home.”
She thrust the carrier bag back at him and walked off towards her home. Unthinking, Sakuta followed her.
It was past eight in the evening when he returned home. Kaede was probably in the bath as he could hear cheerful singing from the other side of the door. She was singing an electronics store’s advert song. It was a short song, so she was looping through it over and over.
He went to enter his room, but stopped in the doorway.
Right in the middle of his room was Mai, sat on a cushion and setting up a folding table.
“If you come into a boy’s room at this time of night, that’s the same as saying you’re okay with whatever happens, right?”
“Eight o’clock is safe.”
“Even so, why are you here, Mai-san.”
“I’ll be with you.”
“Hurray, a confession of love.”
“It’s not. You should know, I won’t let you sleep tonight.”
“Crap, I’m getting excited.”
“If you look like you’ll fall asleep, I’ll slap you awake.”
“Uwah, looks like this’ll be a hard night.”
Mai seemed to be enjoying herself somehow. How many times was she intending on slapping him? He hoped she didn’t get a strange fetish, but…
“Come on, sit.”
Mai patted the carpet. For now, he moved there.
“Your textbook and notebook?”
“What about them?”
“You’re going to be studying for your mid-term exams until tomorrow. I’ll observe you.”
“Ehh, that’s okay.” Studying wouldn’t help him now, it would just make him more tired. “Besides, are you good at studying?”
“I didn’t go to school for the start of first year because of work, but since second year, there’s not been a number lower than eight on my report card.”
Minegahara High School had a ten point scoring system, one being the lowest and ten the highest, so never having gotten less than an eight made her an exceedingly good student.
“You’re more of a nerd than I thought.”
“I just studied in my free time.”
“You’d normally play in that free time.”
“That’s enough, do it. I’m not everything to you.”
“You are at the moment.”
If not, he wouldn’t be going through with this reckless strategy of sleep deprivation.
“Even if things are solved, if you stay like this, you’ll just have a pitiful blank answer sheet in front of you.”
“I’m sleepy, so stop being logical.”
“That’s enough, study.”
“I don’t have any motivation.”
“Even though I’m acting as a teacher on a home visit?”
“If you were in your bunny girl outfit, I might be motivated.”
“Would anyone do for you, Sakuta?”
“I’d only say that to you.”
“That doesn’t make me happy at all.” Sakuta yawned and rubbed at his eyes hard enough to make them water. “Besides, if I was in that bunny girl suit, you’d only think perverted things and not get any studying done.”
“That was a miss.”
His head was barely working, and he was just saying what came into his head.
“Well, I know… If you get full marks in the test, I’ll give you a reward.”
His body pitched forward slightly at Mai’s alluring offer.
“Can I get you to do anything?”
“Sure sure, I will.”
Mai agreed easily, thinking it was meaningless anyway.
“Tomorrow is Maths Ⅱ and Japanese, huh.” He checked his timetable and woke up just a little. “I might be able to get full marks in maths.”
“Eh? You’re good at it?”
Mai spoke in dismay.
“I normally do pretty well in the sciences.”
That was why he would sacrifice Japanese and bet everything on Maths Ⅱ. Japanese had slight vague questions anyway, so it was hard to get full marks. On the contrary, maths had a definite answer and as long as he wrote the working down correctly he should be able to avoid losing minor marks.
He immediately opened the Maths Ⅱ textbook. But it was stolen by Mai.
“Why are you stopping me from studying even though you told me to?”
“Even though I said I’d do anything, I didn’t mean anything.”
She pouted, fidgeting.
“I won’t go too far.”
“Really?”
“I’ll content myself with ‘take a bath with me’.”
“That’s out.”
“Ehh.”
“O-of course it is!”
“Even with swimwear?”
“What kind of mania are you thinking about with swimwear in the bath?”
She looked at him scornfully, poking him. That itself was a nice stimulation.
“Then I’ll have you give me a lap-pillow in your bunny girl outfit.”
“What are you suggesting as if that makes everything fine?”
He had been fairly serious that time, but Mai wouldn’t have it.
“What about having that date in Kamakura that we couldn’t before?”
Perhaps because of the sudden mature suggestion, Mai was shocked for a moment.
“That’s okay… but are you sure?”
“I can request something more extreme?”
“I didn’t say that.”
Mai’s fingers looked like they’d stroke his cheek, but she pinched him hard instead.
“Ahh, don’t wake me up~”
“Honestly, you’re far too cheeky for your youth.”
And thus, they spent nearly two hours studying together.
However, studying Maths Ⅱ was rejected and they were working on Japanese…
“Write down the correct derivations of guarant for the following sentences: ‘There is no one who will be blank for Sakuta’s future’ and ‘There is no blank for Sakuta to live to old age’.”
“Sensei, I think the questions are mocking me.”
“Just write them.”
Mai tapped at his notebook.
For now, he wrote down ‘guarantor’ and ‘guarantee’.
“Which one would be used in ‘There is no one who will be blank for Sakuta’s future’?”
“It’s…”
He couldn’t distinguish them, so he moved his finger towards guarantee and took a look at her reaction. He was hoping to determine which was right from Mai’s expression.
However, she had seen through that. Their eyes met and she smiled awfully kindly. It was a full smile, right to her eyes, so it was even scarier.
“We can go with ‘I can’t blank Sakuta’s safety if he cheats’.”
“I’m sorry, please give a hint.”
“The one with ‘or’ has the nuance of taking responsibility, and the one with ‘ee’ has the nuance of protection.”
“So it would be ‘I will be a guarantor for Mai-san’s happiness’ and ‘There’s a guarantee that our life together will be fulfilling’?”
“Don’t change the question arbitrarily.”
“They weren’t cute.”
Apparently he was correct. If the same question came up, he’d be able to answer it, probably. He remembered it, along with Mai’s sulky expression. After that, Mai kept asking him similar questions, and Sakuta managed to study the derivations like it was a game.
That said, his concentration had its limits and it was around when they completed the first stage of studying the derivations that Sakuta stood and said.
“I’m going to make a drink. Are you alright with coffee? It’s instant though.”
“Yeah.”
Mai was flipping through a workbook, looking for the next question to ask him.
Sakuta left his room and put the kettle on to boil. While he was waiting, he checked in on his sister, her light was already off so she was probably asleep.
He took two mugs with instant coffee in and put one in front of Mai before asking her.
“Milk or sugar?” Sakuta had completely forgotten he was going to have it black to keep himself awake. “I’ll go and get them.”
He left the room again and got some sticks of sugar, milk, and a spoon.
When he returned, Mai was still looking through the workbook.
“Here you go, Mai-san.”
“Thanks.”
Mai put the milk and sugar in her mug and slowly stirred it with the spoon. Sakuta took a gulp of his coffee as he enjoyed her girlish actions. The black and bitter liquid settled in his stomach where its warmth relaxed him.
“How’s your sister?”
“She’s already asleep.”
She had looked in on his room about an hour ago but upon seeing him studying left him with a ‘do your best’.
“Are you an only child, Mai-san?”
He was under that impression.
“I have a younger sister.”
Mai used both hands to bring her mug to her mouth.
“Ah, you do?”
“My mother divorced my father… and she’s from his second marriage.”
“Is she cute?”
“Not as cute as me.”
Mai replied instantly, as if it was adult.
“Uwah, how mature.”
While they were speaking, his mind grew fuzzy. He felt dizzy, and his eyelids drooped.
“Do you like the kind of girl that fawns over other’s cuteness even though they know they’re cute themselves?”
“I hate that type.”
“Right?”
“But, your own sister is…”
He hadn’t consciously stopped, but his words halted before he finished.
Feeling gradually left his body. He couldn’t stop it, even though he panicked.
He gripped the edge of the table to support himself.
His eyes were already half closed.
“I’m glad, they’re working.”
He looked up and Mai’s conflicted expression entered his narrow field of vision. She was looking kindly at him, but there was definitely unease buried in her gaze and her eyes were welling with tears.
“Mai-san… what did…”
Mai’s dainty fingers gripped something.
It was a small bottle, with ‘sleeping pills’ written on the label.
“Why…?”
He couldn’t raise his voice.
“You tried so hard, Sakuta.”
“I can still…”
He lost the strength to stay upright.
“You tried so hard for me.”
“…No.”
“So this is enough, it’s enough.”
Mai reached out a hand and gently stroked his cheek. It was a warm, pleasant sensation. It tickled and made him shudder. But even that feeling left his body.
“It’s… not…”
He didn’t even realise he was talking.
“I was always alone, so it’s okay. It doesn’t matter if you forget me.”
Mai’s figure was fading. Even now, her hand was on his cheek, her index finger slowly stroking under his ear.
“But thank you for everything.”
He hadn’t done anything worthy of thanks.
“And, I’m sorry.”
She hadn’t done anything to apologise for.
“Rest well…”
Guided by the gentle voice, Sakuta finally closed his eyes, and fell into a comfortable sleep.
“Good night, Sakuta.”
He sank down, deeply, deeply…
It’s okay.
It might have been painful and saddening…
But in the morning, you’ll have forgotten all of that, and me.
Don’t worry about anything, just rest.
These three weeks were really fun.
Farewell, Sakuta.