VOLUME 5
Chapter 1 – If you reach the climax at the start, it’ll be even worse at the end
Part II
“Thank you for accompanying me today, Ethics-kun.”
“It was my pleasure…uhhhhhhhhhhhhh.”
“You look tired, Ethics-kun.”
“That last round was the finishing blow.”
The time was seven in the evening, the place an ethnic food restaurant in Su*sh*ne City.1
With the Sky Lounge obviously beyond my means, we settled for a place in the more affordable Shopping Street to end off our da- I mean, shopping trip.
“Wow. Today was nothing but literature and otaku culture.”
“Today was all about satisfying my curiosity. Pictorial or prosaic material, it matters not to me so long as it’s interesting.”
Which of course meant another round of spending right after we left the café earlier.
At To**noara, anim*te, Ga**rs or really any shop in Ikebukuro selling otaku merchandise, regardless of whether it was for women or for men, whether it was doujin or commercial, anything new that Utaha-senpai saw (and don’t forget she’d been isolated from the real world for a few months) she bought and passed into my waiting arms.2
I know I promised senpai that she could have anything she wanted, but this is approaching Comiket-levels of heavy.
“Couldn’t you have gotten this stuff off A**zon?”3
“Well I don’t live like Sawamura-san, Ethics-kun. I can’t get used to the idea of purchasing something without being able to physically see it – it’s just my parsimonious character.”
“Haha, very funny.”
But in truth that’s pretty admirable coming from a high schooler turned extremely successful author.
…Then again, I don’t think Eriri’s a very good comparison.
“But really, I want to thank you once again for writing up the scenarios, Utaha-senpai.”
“Oh, it was my pleasure. I’m sorry it took so long.”
“I definitely appreciate the sentiment, Utaha-senpai. But if anybody, you should be apologizing to Machida-san, not me.”
Tardiness isn’t too much of a problem on doujin projects, but it’s totally different for commercial products, where there’s real money involved. Kasumi Utako’s in-charge at Fushikawa Books always has that smile on her face, but it should be noted that she’s also a ravenous consumer of energy drinks, gastric pills and cup noodles.
But she’s already set aside enough of a time buffer and piled the pressure on her client early, so I guess that makes us even.
“But I can’t help but think of all the trouble I’ve created for the rest of you down the road. Especially you, Ethics-kun.”
“Oh, don’t worry about me, Utaha-senpai. I’m itching for the challenge ahead.”
She’s so right about creating trouble.
Senpai said she had completed everything up till the epilogue at last month’s status report, but that ended up taking more than two weeks. The additional text comprised about 4 kilobytes worth of information…or the equivalent of less than ten pages of writing.
I guess creators simply don’t measure success by the amount of time they spend on something. Like business ventures or…stuff.
“Either way, I think my obligations to this project have been fulfilled.”
“Yes, you’ve really-”
“With the novel and all, I don’t think I’ll be showing up much at circle meetings anymore.”
“Oh.”
The tone in my voice dropped so quickly it was almost funny.
“I haven’t given my future serious thought yet, but I guess it’s better late than never.”
“…I see.”
…I didn’t know I was capable of changing my facial expressions that quickly.
“Hmm, at least I think I’ve done well enough to get to where I want to go.”
“Oh no, it’s not like people would kill for your results, Utaha-senpai!”
Now I was letting my anxiety get the better of me.
“Domei University still has a lot of open slots, and my admissions counselor said I couldn’t go wrong if I chose to go there.”
“Domei…isn’t that in Kansai?”
It felt like cold water was being poured on me.
“Then there’s also So-o. It’s much closer to home, so I’m in a bit of a dilemma right now.”
“…”
There was no longer any doubt in my mind.
“What’s wrong, Ethics-kun? You’re sweating a lot for wintertime.”
I was being made fun of.
“Which does Ethics-kun think is better?”
“Erm, well…”
“Domei’s literary faculty ranks higher.”
“O-Oh. Is that so?”
“But then again it’ll be a pain moving away from my relatives…”
“Mm.”
“But I can’t say the concept of independent living doesn’t appeal to me…”
“Yeah…”
While I’ve been turning red and blue, inhaling and exhaling, glancing downward and upward in reflection of the violent fluctuations in my mood, Utaha-senpai has been resting her head on her hand while her eyes stared at me the entire time.
“What’s the matter, hmm?”
I could tell from her expression that she was clearly enjoying my discomfort.
* * *
“What about this? I think it’ll look good on you, Eriri.”
“Umm…”
“Then again, I guess anything looks good on you.”
“Hey…”
“Slender with fair skin and sparkly hair…sigh. Eriri, aren’t you going to try this one too?”
“Stop! Just hold it right there!”
“Oh, you like the one you’re wearing now?”
“No, Megumi!”
“Yes?”
“What are we doing in P**CO?!”4
“Oh, would ***bu have been better?”5
“My god, no, that’s not the point! I mean, what are we doing in a place like this?!”
“We’re here to buy casual clothes for you, right? You can’t wear that tracksuit all the time.”
“But while we’re here, the two of them are getting away!”
“I think that’s kind of your fault…”
“Aaaaah, but there’s no use crying over spilt milk, right? Anyway, we should start looking for them again.”
“Haven’t we done enough for today? I’m a bit worried about whether this stalking is even legal in the first place.”
“What are you talking about? Who knows what kind of things the two of them might do together if we leave them alone? It might threaten the very existence of our circle!”
“But nothing really happened, right? Not today anyway.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?!”
“Kasumigaoka-senpai just texted me a while ago to say that everything is going according to plan.”
“…Come again?”
* * *
“Erm, Utaha-senpai.”
“Hmm?”
The time was now half-past seven. Or in other words, it had taken me half an hour to recover fully from the shock I received earlier.
“This is only my opinion.”
“Of course. I’ll still be the one making the decisions in the end.”
At this point I could finally meet the eyes of Utaha-senpai—who hadn’t moved an inch— but the inside of my head was still spinning as I carefully pondered upon what to say.
Even if I decide to pass this off as only my personal opinion or just advice, it’s still something that will greatly affect her future no matter which way I look at it. I have to pick my words carefully.
It’s because she’s someone important to me.
Man, this is heavy.
“I think…So-o would be a better choice.”
“I see.”
Her expression and tone still hadn’t changed.
“But senpai, I really think you should ask somebody else. Like, I’m still just a kid and you’d obviously prefer a more mature opinion-”
“Tell me why you think So-o is better.”
“Well, it’s nearby and you know, we can still work together on our game after you’ve graduated…”
Her facial features were still frozen in place.
“University students have a lot of free time, right? Especially if you’re taking liberal arts or literature…”
She hadn’t said a single word.
“And it’s not like you’ll have to look for employment. You can probably retire after just another four years of writing novels…”
Senpai continued watching, taking in everything that I said with that same poker face.
“…but I won’t force you to work with me anymore if you don’t want to.”
She must have seen through me by now.
“This will be the last game we make this year, but it may also be the last we ever make together.”
And that was the unadulterated truth.
But as her junior, her circle member, her fellow creator, her believer…
“But I refuse to consider that possibility.”
Of the many emotions swirling in my chest, that was how I chose to convey the one I wanted to the most.
I noticed that Utaha-senpai was now staring directly into my eyes.
And finally, after what seemed like an eternity, senpai casually laid an arm out on the table and proceeded to lay her head delicately onto it. Those same sleepy eyes still looked up into mine.
“I was not expecting to be wooed so openly, Ethics-kun.”
“That wasn’t my intention!”
There she goes twisting my words again.
But I guess this time she’s closer to the truth than most.
“While unnecessarily circuitous and meandering, I have to say it was a good effort overall. I believe some form of reward is in order.”
“Why thank you, senpai.”
And on that note ended Utaha-senpai’s thoughts.
She never did tell me what she thought about my “opinion” – not that it was completely unexpected.
Kasumi Utako’s characters never say what they truly mean either.
“And so here is your gift – though it might also turn out to be a punishment depending on how you use it,” Utaha-senpai said as she reached into an unseen pocket, producing something and placing it on the table.
“What’s this?”
Upon closer inspection, the object revealed itself to be a plain and unadorned thumbdrive.
“An alternate version of the True route, entirely different from the original.”
“What?!”
Forget plain, I was looking at an artfully disguised bomb!
“For our game, there exists…another possibility.”
“S-senpai?”
“It must be you who decides, Ethics-kun– which to affirm, which to deliver.”
Utaha-senpai’s expression was totally unreadable.
“Which will you choose?”
Deadpan’s Wonderland:
1See Part I.
2Comics Toranoana (Tiger’s Den), animate, Gamers. Now I’m jealous.
3A South American forest and river share this name. No prizes for guessing.
4PARCO, and
5Seibu.