"No, he became a thoughtful, considerate man with nearly unflappable
control. The scars are there, under it. It's likely that his
relationship with you has brought some of them closer to the surface."
"He won't let me help. Anna, he's got it into his head that he can't
risk having children because he's got her blood in him. Bad blood that
he would pass on. He won't marry because marriage means family to him."
"He's wrong, and he has the best example of how wrong in his own mirror.
He not only has her blood but he spent the first twelve years--the most
impressionable years--with her in an environment that could warp any
young mind. Instead, he's Ethan Quinn. Why should his children--children
that come from the two of you--be any less than he is?"
"I wish I had thought to say that," Grace murmured. "I was so shocked
and sad and shaken." She closed her eyes. "I don't think it would have
mattered if I had. He wasn't going to listen. Not to me," she said
slowly. "He doesn't think I'm strong enough to live with what he's lived
with."
"He's wrong."
"Yes, he's wrong. But his mind's made up. He won't want me now. He says
the choice is mine, but I know him. If I say I can accept this and we go
on as we are, it'll eat at him until he pulls away."
"Can you accept it?"
"I've asked myself that, thought about that for days now. I love him
enough to want to, maybe to settle for it, at least for a while. But it
would eat at me, too." She shook her head. "No, I can't accept it. I
can't accept only one part of him. And I won't ask Aubrey to accept
anything less than a father."
"Good for you. Now, what are you going to do about it?"
"I don't know that there's anything I can do. Not when we both need
different things."
Anna let out a huff of breath. "Grace, you're the only one who can
decide. But let me tell you, Cam and I didn't just float to the altar on
gossamer wings. We wanted different things--or thought we did. And to
find out what we wanted together, we hurt each other, we got in each
other's faces and we dealt with it."
"It's hard to get in Ethan's face about anything."
"But it's not impossible."
"No, it's not impossible, buta He wasn't honest with me, Anna.
Underneath it all, I can't forget that. He let me spin my daydreams, all
the time knowing he was going to cut the threads of them and let me
fall. He's sorry for it, I know, but stilla"
"You're angry."
"Yes, I guess I am. I had another man do that to me. My father," she
added, coolly now. "I wanted to be a dancer, and he knew I was pinning
my hopes on it. I can't say he ever encouraged me, but he let me go on
taking lessons and wishing. And when I needed him to stand up and help
me try for that dreama he cut the threads. I forgave him for it, or
tried to, but things were never the same. Then I got pregnant and
married Jack. I guess you could say that cut his threads, and he's never
forgiven me."
"Have you tried to resolve things there?"