him brutally, so that his vision went red.
Even when it cleared he continued to shudder, to pant. Gradually he
became aware of what was. He heard the wild drumming of a woodpecker
deeper in the woods, the tinkle of laughter from beyond the trees. And
Grace's sobbing breaths.
He felt the breezing cooling his skin. And her trembles.
"Oh, God. Goddamn it." His curse was quiet, vicious.
"Ethan?" She hadn't known, would never have believed anyone could have
such a need inside them. For her. "Ethan," she said again and would have
lifted her weak arms around him if he hadn't stepped back.
"I'm sorry. I--" There weren't words. Nothing he could say would be
right, would be enough. He bent, slipped her shorts back up, fastened
them. With the same deliberate care, he straightened her shirt. "I can't
offer you an excuse for that. There isn't any."
"I don't want an excuse. I don't ever need one for what we do together,
Ethan."
He stared at the ground while a sick pounding began in his head. "I
didn't give you a choice." He knew what it was not to have a choice.
"I've already made my choice. I love you."
He looked at her then, everything that lived inside of him swirling into
his eyes. Her mouth was swollen where he'd ravished it. Her eyes were
enormous. Her body would carry bruises from his hands. "You deserve
better."
"I like to think I deserve you. You made me feela desired. That's not
even the word." She pressed a hand to her still speeding heart.
"Craved," she realized. "Craved. And now I'm sorrya" Her gaze flicked
away from his. "I'm sorry for any woman who's never known what it is to
be craved."
"I scared you."
"For a minute." Mortified, she blew out a breath. "Damn it, Ethan, do I
have to tell you that I liked it? I felt helpless and overpowered and it
was so exciting. You lost control, and you have this incredibly
unshakable control most of the time. I liked knowing that something I
did, or something I am, snapped it."
He pulled his hand through his hair. "You confuse me, Grace."
"I don't mean to. But I don't think that's such a bad thing, either."
He let out a sigh, then stepped forward just enough that he could smooth
her tousled hair into place. "Maybe the trouble is we've been thinking
we know each other so well. But we don't have all the pieces." He picked
up her hand, studied it with that thoughtful frown she loved. Then he
kissed her fingers in a way that made her lashes flutter.
"I don't ever want to hurt you. In any way." But he had, and he would.
He kept his hand in hers as he walked her back toward the sunlight. He
would have to tell her about those pieces of himself soon. So she would
understand why he couldn't give her more.
Chapter Fifteen
"so, i don't know if I'm going to go out with him anymore because he's
getting way too possessive, you know? I don't want to hurt his feelings,