could have it all."
"Here, in L.A.?"
"Yes." She thought of New York. It would never be her home again. "I'd
like to try to start here."
"Good."
She set the bowl aside, certain he didn't know what she meant by
starting. "I need to concentrate on getting ready for another show. I
have a number of contacts out here, and I think if we could tie it in
with the book-"
"What book?"
She smoothed the sheets and took a deep breath. "Mine. I sold it about
eighteen months ago. On Devastation. Early Photographs from when I was
a child up to the last tour I went on with Dad. It's been delayed a
couple of times because ... because of what happened.
But it's due to come out in about six months." She glanced toward the
window. The wind had picked up from the sea and brought with it a rush
of rain. "I have an idea for another one. The publisher seems to be
interested."
"Why didn't you tell me?" Before she could make an excuse, he cupped her
face in his hands and kissed her, long and hard. "All we have is a
bottle of mineral water to celebrate with. Uh-oh."
She'd nearly relaxed, and now braced again. "What?"
"My mother's going to kill me if you don't give her first dibs on
autographing sessions."
And that was it? she thought, staring at him. No demands, no
questions, no criticisms. "I ... the publisher wants me to tour.
It's going to mean a lot of traveling for a few weeks."
"Do I get to watch you on Donahue?"
"l-I don't know. They're setting stuff up. I told them I'd be
available for anything they wanted during the month of publication."
It was her tone that had him lifting a brow. "Is this a test, Emma?
Are you waiting for me to grow fangs because you're telling me you've
got a life?"
"Maybe.:,
"Sorry to disappoint you." He started to rise, but she laid a hand on
his arm.
"Don't. If it's not fair, I'm sorry. It's not always easy to be fair."
She dragged both hands through her hair. "I know better than to make
comparisons, but I can't help making them."
"Work on it," he suggested flatly, then reached over for his cigarettes.
"Dammit, Michael, he's all I have to compare. I never lived with
another man, I never slept with another man. You want me to pretend
that that part of my life never happened. That I never let myself be
used or hurt. I'm supposed to forget and pick up and go on so that you
can take care of me. Every man who's ever been important to me has
wanted to take over because I'm too weak or stupid or defenseless to
make the right choices."
"Hold on."
But she was scrambling out of bed to pace the room. "All of my life
I've been tucked into corners, all for my own good. My father wanted me