HOLDEN: Mr Fejevary is looking for me?
HARRY: Yes.
(_He goes back, a moment later_ MR FEJEVARY _enters. He has his hat, gloves, stick; seems tired and disturbed_.)
HOLDEN: Was I mistaken? I thought our appointment was for five.
FEJEVARY: Quite right. But things have changed, so I wondered if I might have a little talk with you now.
HOLDEN: To be sure. (_rising_) Shall we go downstairs?
FEJEVARY: I don't know. Nice and quiet up here. (_to_ HARRY, _who is now passing through_) Harry, the library is closed now, is it?
HARRY: Yes, it's locked.
FEJEVARY: And there's no one in here?
HARRY: No, I've been all through.
FEJEVARY: There's a committee downstairs. Oh, this is a terrible day.
(_putting his things on the table_) We'd better stay up here. Harry, when my niece--when Miss Morton arrives--I want you to come and let me know. Ask her not to leave the building without seeing me.
HARRY: Yes, sir. (_he goes out_)
FEJEVARY: Well, (_wearily_) it's been a day. Not the day I was looking for.
HOLDEN: No.
FEJEVARY: You're very serene up here.
HOLDEN: Yes, I wanted to be--serene for a little while.
FEJEVARY: (_looking at the books_) Emerson. Whitman. (_with a smile_) Have they anything new to say on economics?
HOLDEN: Perhaps not; but I wanted to forget economics for a time. I came up here by myself to try and celebrate the fortieth anniversary of the founding of Morton College. (_answering the other man's look_) Yes, I confess I've been disappointed in the anniversary. As I left Memorial Hall after the exercises this morning, Emerson's words came into my mind-- 'Give me truth, For I am tired of surfaces And die of inanition.'
Well, then I went home--(_stops, troubled_)
FEJEVARY: How is Mrs Holden?
HOLDEN: Better, thank you, but--not strong.
FEJEVARY: She needs the very best of care for a time, doesn't she?
HOLDEN: Yes. (_silent a moment_) Then, this is something more than the fortieth anniversary, you know. It's the first of the month.
FEJEVARY: And illness hasn't reduced the bills?
HOLDEN: (_shaking his head_) I didn't want this day to go like that; so I came up here to try and touch what used to be here.
FEJEVARY: But you speak despondently of us. And there's been such a fine note of optimism in the exercises. (_speaks with the heartiness of one who would keep himself assured_)
HOLDEN: I didn't seem to want a fine note of optimism. (_with roughness_) I wanted--a gleam from reality.
FEJEVARY: To me this is reality--the robust spirit created by all these young people.
HOLDEN: Do you think it is robust? (_hand affectionately on the book before him_) I've been reading Whitman.
FEJEVARY: This day has to be itself. Certain things go--others come; life is change.
HOLDEN: Perhaps it's myself I'm discouraged with. Do you remember the tenth anniversary of the founding of Morton College.
FEJEVARY: The tenth? Oh yes, that was when this library was opened.
HOLDEN: I shall never forget your father, Mr Fejevary, as he stood out there and said the few words which gave these books to the students. Not many books, but he seemed to baptize them in the very spirit from which books are born.
FEJEVARY: He died the following year.
HOLDEN: One felt death near. But that didn't seem the important thing. A student who had fought for liberty for mind. Of course his face would be sensitive. You must be very proud of your heritage.
FEJEVARY: Yes. (_a little testily_) Well, I have certainly worked for the college. I'm doing my best now to keep it a part of these times.
HOLDEN: (_as if this has not reached him_) It was later that same afternoon I talked with Silas Morton. We stood at this window and looked out over the valley to the lower hill that was his home. He told me how from that hill he had for years looked up to this one, and why there had to be a college here. I never felt America as that old farmer made me feel it.
FEJEVARY: (_drawn by this, then shifting in irritation because he is drawn_) I'm sorry to break in with practical things, but alas, I am a practical man--forced to be. I too have made a fight--though the fight to finance never appears an idealistic one. But I'm deep in that now, and I must have a little help; at least, I must not have--stumbling-blocks.
HOLDEN: Am I a stumbling-block?
FEJEVARY: Candidly (_with a smile_) you are a little hard to finance.
Here's the situation. The time for being a little college has passed. We must take our place as one of the important colleges--I make bold to say one of the important universities--of the Middle West. But we have to enlarge before we can grow. (_answering_ HOLDEN's _smile_) Yes, it is ironic, but that's the way of it. It was a nice thing to open the anniversary with fifty thousand from the steel works--but fifty thousand dollars--nowadays--to an institution? (_waves the fifty thousand aside_) They'll do more later, I think, when they see us coming into our own.
Meanwhile, as you know, there's this chance for an appropriation from the state. I find that the legislature, the members who count, are very friendly to Morton College. They like the spirit we have here. Well, now I come to you, and you are one of the big reasons for my wanting to put this over. Your salary makes me blush. It's all wrong that a man like you should have these petty worries, particularly with Mrs Holden so in need of the things a little money can do. Now this man Lewis is a reactionary. So, naturally, he doesn't approve of you.
HOLDEN: So naturally I am to go.
FEJEVARY: Go? Not at all. What have I just been saying?
HOLDEN: Be silent, then.
FEJEVARY: Not that either--not--not really. But--be a little more discreet. (_seeing him harden_) This is what I want to put up to you.
Why not give things a chance to mature in your own mind? Candidly, I don't feel you know just what you do think; is it so awfully important to express--confusion?
HOLDEN: The only man who knows just what he thinks at the present moment is the man who hasn't done any new thinking in the past ten years.
FEJEVARY: (_with a soothing gesture_) You and I needn't quarrel about it. I understand you, but I find it a little hard to interpret you to a man like Lewis.
HOLDEN: Then why not let a man like Lewis go to thunder?
FEJEVARY: And let the college go to thunder? I'm not willing to do that.
I've made a good many sacrifices for this college. Given more money than I could afford to give; given time and thought that I could have used for personal gain.