Chapter 56
[The Heart’s Judgement]
At feeding time, Renga is released to the Tsuhara Plateau
Then, the released Renga’s roar echoes through the plains, and the demon beasts inhabiting the area begin to escape .
By repeating this, the Tsuhara Plateau became Renga’s territory, and the number of demon beasts has decreased .
Even if the number decreases, it does not affect Renga’s hunting, but it is bad if the demon beasts completely disappears from the Tsuhara Plateau .
Therefore, I decided to divide Renga’s hunting ground in consideration of it .
I thought that turning the hunting ground in rotation might prevent the demon beasts from decreasing .
I don’t plan to keep it in the cage all the time, so I think that this will give me some time .
Because Renga can’t be released when I’m not around, the branch staff is feeding it in the cage .
It seems that the guy who lost the rock-paper-scissors will feeds Renga, everyone seems quite scared .
Well, I’m scared too .
“WOOAAAA!!! STOP! STOP RENGA!!”
That’s why I and Roll are currently flying on Renga’s back in the sky .
I’m screaming while hitting Renga’s scale repeatedly .
Renga is being playful, and we were swinging on it’s back .
Roll clings to my back and I cling to Renga’s neck .
I have to be careful because if I put my finger between it’s scales, it will be cut and the meat will be cut off .
The burden on me is high .
“Look, Shion! The scenery is amazing!”
“IT’S NOT THE TIME TO THINK ABOUT THAT!”
Roll seems to be enjoying this thrill ride .
It was because of Roll’s suggestion that I decided to fly on Renga’s back .
I’ve been doing it since yesterday, but it’s scary after all .
“RENGA! I TOLD YOU TO STOP!!”
“Gau!”
The voice that I made louder using my ability seemed to finally reach the Renga’s ears, then Renga lowered its altitude and landed on the plain on the ground .
I jump down from Renga’s back and sink into the ground .
Renga rubbed it’s nose against me .
It hurts .
“You won’t be able to handle it like that . ”
Then Roll that came down from the back of Renga told me .
“I won’t be able to handle like this rightー”
“How pathetic . ”
It would be convenient if I could ride it and use it for movement, but it might be better to wait for Renga to become bigger .
Because it is at the age where it wants to play the most now, so it’s almost impossible to handle it .
I take a breath and check the time on my watch .
The time is 9:00 am .
“It’s already 9 o’clock?”
“Come to think of it, you made a promise with Tsurugi and co to meet up at noon . ”
“Yeah . ”
“Then, let’s return soon . I think Renga already had a good exercise . ”
I stayed at the Tsuhara branch for two days and played with it .
I’ve also inconvenienced the people in the branch, so the only thing I could do was taking care of Renga as much as possible .
“You’re right . ”
Then we returned Renga to the Tsuhara branch and go back to the city .
“Actually, we belong to the Self Defense Forces . ”
It was a sudden confession .
In the regular coffee shop . It was the time when I have finished eating with the usual members, such as Tsurugi, I, Rin, and Ohashi, and was wondering if I should order a dessert .
“Sorry, that we’ve been keeping silent all this time . ”
While I was troubled on how to react, the expression of the other party happened to be the same as well .
Roll isn’t here .
At school, the five of us often hang out together, but outside of school, we rarely hang out with five people .
Since Tsurugi and co think that I’m dating Roll, when I made promise to play with them, they always told me to take Roll along,
but in the end, Roll always declined .
The reason they didn’t ask me to take Roll along this time is because they were going to confess to me, huh .
Rin and Ohashi are looking down, and Tsurugi is looking straight at my eyes with a serious expression .
However, there is also a somewhat uneasy atmosphere about him .
The time is late afternoon .
I can’t say that our regular coffee shop is popular, so there are no customers around us .
The only thing that can be heard is the background music played by the master and the sound of the car running on the opposite road .
First of all, why was this confession the first question that came up?
However, to answer that question first, I was too calm .
Since I should know this fact for the first time, I have to react differently .
“…seriously?”
For the time being, I asked him so .
I mean, it’s troubling if I’m told that they’re actually Self Defense Force .
There should more . Like a detailed explanation as to why they hide it .
…Is it that they didn’t do it, or is it a sign of their sincerity?
Well, it’s fine .
It’s not like I’m angry .
I’m just confused by the sudden confession .
However, if I didn’t know in advance that they were ability user and they were part of Self Defense Force, this might not have been the case .
“Truly…I can’t say my rank, but I belong to the Self Defense Force in a special way .
And we are all ability user . ”
Special way, huh .
Well, it seems that he wasn’t on the list that the boss had, it feels like ‘as expected’ .
“…Why did you guys hide it…?”
“Because, Kazuto don’t have ability…I didn’t want to make you feel inferior .
And about the SDF, I can’t say it because of circumstances . ”
“So why did you decided to say it now?”
“That’s…”
Tsurugi’s words got stuck .
Then Rin started talking .
“That is, Kazato, you saw my ability right…? So…”
“Oh . ”
Indeed, so they think that they can’t hide it anymore huh .
I intended to pretend that I didn’t notice it, but it seems impossible .
But that’s not all .
“That reaction, you have an inkling of it after all…”
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Ohashi said .
Somehow, she interprets it in a good way .
Actually, it was troublesome to solve this problem, so I just ignore it .
“…Kazato, are you angry?”
Rin, sitting next to me, asked me timidly .
“No, I’m not angry . ”
I replied .
Then, Tsurugi and co looked surprised .
“Really? I was prepared to be hit y’know?”
“That is exaggerated .
After all, even if you guys were at the Self Defense Force, it wouldn’t affect our relationship, right?
Well, as Ohashi said, I have noticed that you guys were hiding something . ”
I thought that was a good guy’s line even if I say so myself .
However, that was because I had arranged it in advance .
Also, it’s because I hide something as well .
Yes, Anonymous .
In my case, I can’t confide it like this .
Being revealed means breaking up our relationship .
And it’s not limited to these guys .
With my family . With everyone at school .
I will definitely have to go to the other side .
I think that such a day will come someday .
Do I have the resolution for such time?
“But Kazato is…”
Rin shut her mouth .
“What is it, Rin? Is it because I’m the only one who has no ability?
Certainly, I admit that it’s a little shocking, but it can’t be helped, right . ”
“You’re wrong, it wasn’t…no, it was . ”
A strange silence is born .
What? What do you want to say .
“Kazato, what do you want to be in the future?”
Tsurugi suddenly opened his mouth .
I look at Tsurugi’s eyes .
The talks suddenly changed .
Come to think of it, this guy had asked that before . Rather than “before”, he often asks me about my future .
What do you want to be? What are you going to do in the future?
Every time I answer with various textbook answers such as being a civil servant, I wonder why he ask me so many times .
Because I don’t have ability, so he is worried about my future?
…If so, then that’s an unnecessary concern .
As expected that kind of sympathy makes me uncomfortable .
Or rather it’s sad .
For a person without ability, it is one of their many bitterness .
Is that so . From the start they didn’t need to sympathize with me .
We have talked various things about people without ability, but I didn’t understand the feelings of people without ability .
However, he just being kind and worried about me .
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“Future huh . What do I want to be? Or rather, what will I be?”
I tried a different way of answering than usual .
Then, Tsurugi drank the water in the cup in his hand and said,
“Kazato, do you still remember your childhood dreams?”
When I was a child . The heck is he talking about .
It was around the first year of elementary school that I met Tsurugi .
Around that time?
“Hmm . ”
I usually remember it, but I can’t really remember it now .
What was it? I was quite a little rascal then, right .
Was it Dr . Mushi?
I think there were various things, but…
“What was it? I don’t remember . ”
“I see . ”
Tsurugi said plainly .
I am curious to have received such response .
“What was my dream as a kid?”
“You’re lying, right . You’ve always said you’d like to join the Self Defense Force since you were in kindergarten . ”
Rin leaned forward and said .
“Ah . Now that you mention it, I said something like that .
Although it became an absurd story now .
“It’s not absurd at all…!”
At Tsurugi’s slightly strong words, I unintentionally fell into silence .
Silence spreads again .
“Kazato, to be honest, it is hard for someone without ability to enter the Self Defense Force . ”
Tsurugi said .
“What are you saying?”
I can’t see where the talks is going .
What’s wrong with these guys?
“…The Self Defense Force has a department that studies the ability development of people without ability . ”
“Yup . ”
It seems that such research is being done even by Anonymous .
It is not strange for the Self Defense Force to do it .
“The study is in the process of experimenting with the human body and is now recruiting inability subjects .
…If you succeed, you may be able to develop your ability .
You can also make money . ”
“…”
“If Kazato wants…, if you haven’t forgotten your dream…”
Tsurugi stopped his words there .
Looking into my eyes with a terrifying appearance .
Somehow I was standing up .
So that’s it .
The reason they revealed their identity to me is to make this proposal .
Do you want me to be a ability user?
Why?
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…as expected, it’s sympathy .
The handicap of people without ability .
This is also that, but a person without without ability is close to handicapped person .
Why should I be angry?
There’s nothing to get angry about after all .
I am an ability user .
Sympathy for such me is meaningless .
Actually, I have an ability y’know, so I should be able to laugh in my heart, right?
No, I can’t laugh .
Since this ability wasn’t really necessary .
I didn’t need it .
If so, it seems I hate “ability”, huh .
I remember longing for ability all this time .
But I gave up .
“Kazato, if you have ability一”
I cut off the words that Tsurugi wanted to say .
“Ability, ability…is ability really that important?
Tsurugi, you told me someday that even if we don’t have ability, let’s do our best .
What was that…”
“…!”
I didn’t want to say it .
Since they thought about me, I didn’t want to say things that can’t be said to Tsurugi and co .
But I ended up saying it .
“I don’t need ability . I’m fine just as is .
I don’t even want to join the Self Defense Force . ”
Saying that, I put the money on the desk and left the shop .
I quickly walked away from the shop .
“Shit . ”
I’m the worst .
Although I actually understand their feelings .
I shelved things about being a murderer myself, I’m really a trash, huh .
In addition, this is likely to affect the long-term mission with Roll .
I’ve done it…
“Kazato!”
When I was called and turned around, there was Rin there .
She’s chasing me, huh .
I stop and look at Rin .
Rin’s breathing was ragged .
“Sorry . I knew we might hurt Kazato .
But we didn’t mean that…”
“I know . ”
Even without being told that .
For a while, we were silent .
I also wanted to apologize, but I couldn’t put it into words because I didn’t know what this anger was .
When I looked down, Rin said .
“…Hey, why don’t we take a little walk?”