Published at 31st of January 2021 06:34:20 PM
Chapter 106
What should I say?
It wasn’t that I couldn’t offer a few condolences, but I got caught up in a seemingly endless thought-process .
However, nothing came to mind .
It was always like this .
Nice words never came to me when it mattered .
Even though my mouth ran unbridled every other time .
……I don’t know .
I never had her worries . Never have I thought about such a situation either .
It was difficult to understand a situation you haven’t experienced, and obviously, I was no exception .
Even if I were to force myself to sympathize carelessly, it wouldn’t do a very good job at comforting her . Instead, it would simply keep her hanging as she could have some expectations .
If so, wasn’t it better to not gloss it over with pretentious words? Wouldn’t it be better for her that way?
“Honestly, the truth is I don’t understand……”
Instead of bringing ambiguity into the play, I stated clearly .
It was up to the other party to decide whether or not to call my words irresponsible or consider them a result of abandonment of thinking .
However, the woman called Kirasaka Rei had a considerable understanding of me .
Since we had become second-years, she had, under controlled conditions, observed me from an even closer distance than Shizuku, who was the childhood friend .
A consoling sympathizer was definitely not what she had in mind when she said I was ‘special’ .
So, I wavered not, and stayed true to myself .
Even if it were to be the wrong choice . Even if it were to be nothing more than my selfish imposition .
That was why I couldn’t help but think .
What is ‘special’ to me?
Immediately, my family members and Shizuku came to mind . After all, ‘special’ were undoubtedly those with whom you have had spent years of your lives .
However, the ‘special’ she keeps talking about ought to be different .
That was exactly why there was something that I had to say to her .
It was because I didn’t understand . Because I have had to traverse a completely different path than hers .
It was precisely because I couldn’t understand that there were words only I could say .
“……But indeed, I think it’s fine to say that you have talent . It’s a fact after all . ”
“……”
The difference between a genius and an ordinary .
No matter what anyone had to say about it, there existed a basic difference in the specs between the two .
No matter what you were told, and no matter how much time had elapsed, that wouldn’t change .
There was a wall that couldn’t be brought down with effort .
No matter how much effort you put in, be it in studies, sports, arts, etc . , there would always be a limitation .
That was why countless people in this world had pursued their dreams and failed .
Effort wasn’t able to bridge every gap .
“It is an undeniable fact that Kirasaka is a special person in people’s eyes……rather, it would be tough to state otherwise . Even if I know that you hate it . ”
“That so……”
“However”
However, that was not an answer .
I filled my mouth with what was left of the sandwich in my hand and downed it with the tea that had been presented before .
Then, I continued to speak .
“However……You are remarkable because you excel at so many things, not because you are the daughter of the president . ”
Being jealous of others because they had something you didn’t, changed nothing .
Even elementary school students should know that nothing would change unless one took action and procured the desired result .
It was insolent to think that the world would change when you did nothing to try and change it .
Therefore, the only thing I could say was to not pay attention to what people had to say, that it was nothing other than their jealousy towards her because she had what they didn’t .
I don’t think I could actually say it though .
A bitter smile hung on Kirasaka’s lips . She was looking to the side to evade making eye contact .
“I should change my way of thinking……It’s a plus to have what others don’t . ”
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Even if I do say so myself, that sounded cheesy .
I wanted to have a way with words, trying to be suave as I delivered my opinion, but it ended up sounding rather blunt .
My words might have sounded like sophistry in her ears .
However, that was all I could say now .
“……Fufu, that’s right . ”
Said Kirasaka, her gaze returning my way . Her expression seemed to return to normal from what seemed like a possession .
Seeing that her voice and eyes aren’t cold, her impression of me is not bad?
At any rate, her earlier words piqued my interest and I asked .
“Be that as it may, I am being liked by Kirasaka quite a bit huh……”
No matter how much of an excessively special treatment I didn’t give her, it didn’t add up .
It shouldn’t be that easy to be liked by a beauty .
At my question, Kirasaka put on a pensive expression, her hand resting against her chin, and spoke .
“This is a first for me too, having this much interest in a person……But, after all this time, I am starting to understand the reason somewhat . ”
“Is that so……the reason is?”
At her suggestive words, I asked, unconsciously impatient .
However, what came my way were words that could hardly be considered a reply .
“What I think I lack is ‘romance’, the true charm of youth . ”
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“Romance, huh……”
I wondered what she would say, but what came out of her mouth were words unbefitting her .
The student named Kirasaka Rei led a solitary high-school life, unconnected with the concepts of ‘youth’ or ‘romance’ .
For her to say something like that……
At my somewhat exasperated response, she looked at me seriously .
“Reluctantly although, after seeing Kanzaki-san and Shinrkun, a familiar feeling of discomfort resurfaced . That’s when I had a feeling that the answer was not far away . ”
She appended “Reluctantly although” once more at the end .
“You don’t have to be that hostile towards Shizuku you know . ” is what I thought, since she was my childhood friend after all .
Well, I have heard girls had more complicated relationships than boys . Theirs shouldn’t be an exception either .
“That’s why you are going on a date with me this weekend . ”
“No . ”
Similar to when she invited me over for lunch, it was as if she simply informed me of her decision . There was no room for discussion .
Momentarily though, I realized that I wouldn’t be able to turn her down for this event . She gave off that kind of an impression .
My rejection of the idea was apparent in my reply, but she proceeded with her one-sided plan .
She talked about the time and place . She also seemed to be happily muttering something about her attire for that day .
“Well then, I have to make preparations for the date . So, I will take my leave . ”
“Hey hey……you’re going to skip the afternoon classes?”
She turned around and departed from this place with light steps .
Before leaving, she turned around one last time, and although it would have been impossible to make out her expression, had she been standing any farther, a faint smile could be seen hanging on her lips .