Published at 3rd of January 2021 10:34:10 AM
The day of the school entrance ceremony . The day I met her .
That too after the ceremony, and before I returned home .
“The likes of school entrance ceremony are a pain . Honestly speaking, I didn’t have any intention of attending……I was thinking of skipping . ”
Indeed, I too had similar thoughts .
I had thought of the entrance ceremony as an event for classmates to just get together and get a glimpse of the high school life they were about to start . It had no actual value .
That’s why there is no meaning to this ceremony . Participation should be voluntary .
I remembered having such thoughts while standing in the line for the freshmen .
She too must have had been entertaining similar thoughts while standing in that same line .
“From junior high to high school, there’s only a change in the school building . For me, that was all it was . I didn’t think anything else would change……I had no intention of getting along with those around me . ”
There was a short pause at this point . Then, she continued with her narration .
“Back then, every day was boring……Coming to school was a pain . So I spent my days bored . ”
“That hasn’t changed even now though?”
Isn’t she always saying that? That every day is boring? Hasn’t that feeling not changed even now?
She flashed a smile at my question and answered .
“True that there has been no change in how I fundamentally feel . However, there has been one clear change . ”
“……That is?”
“That you are here now . ”
An immediate reply .
She spoke clearly, not a hint of hesitation or embarrassment in her words .
“If I did find a reason to come to school, that would be because you were in the same class, next to me . ”
“……”
I don’t know .
Why did she have such special feelings for me?
I waited for her next words to understand her feelings that were still unclear to me .
“Well, even if I say that, you wouldn’t understand the reason . These are my personal feelings after all . ”
She, who had been looking up at the sky, turned to look at me .
Although we were sat together, there was still some distance between us .
Her eyes met mine . Momentarily .
It truly was for no more than a moment .
It was rare to see her speak so honestly . I sensed something different about her compared to her usual self .
Trying to understand the feelings she embraced while looking at me, I met her gaze head-on, but soon, retracted .
It was because of her expression, as always, that gave away nothing .
“……As expected, there isn’t anything special about you, huh . ”
“……Hm?”
What was she talking about?
Nothing special?
I wasn’t quite able to understand what she meant by that and put on a perplexed expression . Then, she proceeded to explain .
“I hate being given the special treatment . ‘She can do it because she is Kirasaka’s daughter; because she is a genius, it’s only natural that she can do it’……I have heard these lines several times in my short life . ”
I couldn’t understand that emotion .
On one hand was the extraordinary her who has been told her whole life that she was special . On the other was the ordinary me, who hasn’t been defined as anything more than ‘average’ by the people around me .
Did more words need to be spoken in the face of such a glaring disparity? No .
All I could do was engage in this short soliloquy session of answering my own question .
“I really hate people who dismiss the difference between themselves and others with such convenient words . ”
Those words seemed packed to the brim with negative emotions .
Surely, she feels like that from the bottom of her heart .
It was tough for me to understand .
However, people who had too much had their share of worries .
Many asked for the moon .
However, there were also those who possessed what only a select few could, and only they knew about the troubles that came along .
“It’s true that my family has money…… . That’s because my parents have worked hard . My scores are good because I don’t neglect my studies . I only have my parents to thank for my good looks though . I have good style because I pay attention to my diet and exercise properly . ”
“Some bragging seems to be mixed in……”
I couldn’t help but cut in at her bragging in the middle of a serious story .
As if to say she didn’t mind my remark, however, she continued with her story .
“It isn’t that I was born with everything, but people insist that I was born talented……There is only a little bit of a difference between them and me, but they won’t accept that . ”
I recalled what people around her had to say about her .
‘Genius’, ‘talented’, ‘different from the start’, ‘because she is rich……’ .
True that she was born with a different innate disposition . Hence, there must have been many voices that regarded her different .
It didn’t apply only to her .
People had similar things to say about Shizuku and Yuuto .
I had always seen them up close, yet I had never thought deeply about the things people had to say about them .
I didn’t notice that the girls were hurting from the onslaught of things being spoken about them .