Chapter 562: Sangsang's Saying
Translator: Transn Editor: Transn
During the conversation in the carriage, Mo Shanshan had been responding to Sangsang gently with "um-hum" . When she heard Sangsang's last sentence, without hesitation she responded as usual, but then noticed something off . She raised the tone to express doubts and astonishment and some other complex emotions that were difficult to convey only through pitch fluctuation .
If it was a conversation between any other two women in the world, the conversation would be considered to be filled with tension and harsh irony, like they were confronting each other with daggers . But Mo Shanshan knew Sangsang so well that she knew Sangsang was just telling the facts and had no intent to show off .
She learned it from Ning Que that Sangsang had a serious illness and she had come to Lanke Temple to cure it . Although it was said that Master Qishan might have a way to cure her, the possibility was so small that even the Headmaster failed to do it . Thinking about the last two sentences Sangsang said, she was a bit sad .
Noon was approaching and the black horse carriage stopped beside a temple by the mountainside to have a rest for a while . Monk Guanhai caught up from behind and prepared lunch for the monks and led Ning Que and the others into a quiet courtyard .
Sangsang had spent so much energy on the chess game, and her body was still weak . She felt sleepy after eating a few mouthfuls of vegetables . Ning Que carried her into the inner room and spread the clean bedding over her . He tucked the quilt carefully to confirm that there was no room for the autumn wind to get inside . After that, he felt relieved .
"I have told you not to care about the chess . You just didn't listen to me . "
Ning Que looked at her sullen face and said anxiously .
Sangsang whispered, "But I really think it's fun playing chess . I heard that many people admired me after I won . Aren't you happy about it?"
Ning Que thought it over, and replied, "I'm happy indeed, and proud of you . "
Sangsang smiled with satisfaction .
Ning Que reached out his hand to cover her eyes and asked her to sleep .
Sangsang did not want to close her eyes . Instead, she blinked, and her eyelashes made Ning Que's hand itchy .
"Ning Que . "
Sangsang's voice came from between his fingers .
Ning Que said with a little surprise, "I'm here . "
Sangsang said, "You are mine . "
Ning Que laughed and said, "I'm yours . Yours, yours, all yours . "
After a moment of silence, Sangsang asked, "I am not a good person, am I?"
"If the Lady of Light is not a good person, who else could be?"
"Am I really the Lady of Light? I had killed people when I was young . "
Ning Que asked, "When did you kill anyone?"
"I killed grandpa . "
"You just poured a bucket of boiling water . I murdered him with a knife . "
"Then I am your accomplice . "
"What the hell are you thinking?"
Ning Que said angrily, "Ever since you were young, I had tried so hard to keep you away from killing or anything that could make your hands bloody . Now you try to prove that you already got blood in your hands . Are you proud of it?"
Sangsang turned around with her back facing him, and said, "I'm not proud . I just don't think that I am the sort of good person many people think I am . "
Previously on the way up to the mountain, Ning Que had heard all the conversation between Sangsang and Shanshan even though they spoke in low voices . He had guessed what Sangsang wanted to say right now but he did not want to hear it .
However, as in the past, even though he did not want to do something, as long as Sangsang wanted to, she would do it . Sangsang still said whatever she wanted to him even if he did not want to hear it .
"We spent all our money buying the house beside Yanming Lake and still owe Mr . Qi more than seven hundred taels of silver . If we can withdraw some dividends from the casino in winter, we can pay him back next year . I always feel that it's not good to owe people money . So I'm thinking whether to rent out Old Brush Pen Shop . "
"Those gifts given by Emperor and Empress are all collected in a booklet and I stored it at the bottom of the winter clothes box in the west room . The Princess sent a total of 160 trees, which were favored by rich people on the west side of the mountain, according to my inquiry . If we sold them, one tree should be worth over five hundred taels of silver . "
"Aunt Wu had borrowed 14 taels of silver last time but had not returned it yet . I know that Mr . Wu had borrowed a loan from you last time . Only you know how much it was . I won't count those cheap things like oil, salt, and vinegar lest you say I'm stingy . Do remember that I hid a gold brick in the wall behind the well and firewood in Old Brush Pen Shop . . . "
Sangsang stared at the wall and was too shy to turn around . She said, "When I was young, I was worried that you wouldn't want to marry me and your wife wouldn't allow me to stay at home . So I have been . . . saving money secretly . I figured that I wouldn't need to panic if I had some money for my dowry so I keep saving even after we are moved to Chang'an . "
Ning Que was surprised after hearing her words . He thought that she was amazing for she was able to save up even though they led a very frugal life . He admired her for her frugality so he smiled and said, "I think His Majesty really should hire you to be Minister of Revenue . "
Sangsang did not respond to his joke and said seriously, "The money I have saved so far totals up to more than two thousand and one hundred taels of silver . I've left it with Aunt Jian . I know you have never liked to sell calligraphy and you did it when we entered Chang'an only because I forced you to sell them . If you really don't have enough money, take my savings . "
These words sounded like the last words of a head of a family . Ning Que wanted to laugh and get angry at the same time but he did not care about whether it was lucky to speak of death or not . He asked, "What about the gold brick?"
Sangsang turned around and looked at him seriously, and said, "The gold brick is for my parents . "
Ning Que thought about her confession, and asked, "You have nothing left for me except money?"
"I had made enough shoes and socks for you to wear for many years . I'm not good at needlework . You will just have to put up with them . "
Sangsang suddenly recalled one thing and she whispered, "There is a small black box under the bed of Old Brush Shop . Don't forget it . "
Ning Que did not know she had a small black box until last year .
There were many things thrown away by him for some reason, but they were all valuable to him, such as the calligraphy he wrote after the death of Darkie .
He nodded and said, "I knew . "
Sangsang shook her head and said, "You don't know . You threw away all those letters sent by Miss Calligraphy Addict after reading them . But I collected them and now there is more than ten of them . "
Ning Que was silent for a while and said, "It is enough to read letters once . Who will want to take them out and read them in the future?"
Sangsang suddenly smiled and said, "I was thinking that I would take out the box when we got old and lay on the bamboo chairs of Old Brush Pen Shop and waited to die . By that time, in my opinion, if you read them again, you may be happy . Unfortunately, it seems that I may not be able to grow old with you . "
"I don't know from whom you learn all these sentimental things . "
Ning Que put his hands into the bedding and held her little cold hands, and said, "That is the scene in the imagination of stupid women . You are still young and shouldn't be so sentimental like them . They're so old, they're sour and smell bad . "
"I haven't had a bath for a few days . Am I sour and stinky? . "
Sangsang said, "Young Master, I am really going to die . Then I won't be able to tell you this when I'm old . I am anxious to tell you all this time so please don't think I'm annoying . "
Ning Que laughed and said, "I'm not bothered . I just wonder are you done with your last words?"
Sangsang said happily, "Almost . "
Ning Que said, "You are still energetic to play chess and speak nonsense . You don't look like you are going to die . Besides, we are meeting Master Qishan today . The Headmaster says he can cure you so he must be able to . There is no need for you to leave your last words at all . "
Sangsang's eyes widened and she insisted, "What if I don't have time to say them?"
Ning Que said, "Okay, okay, okay . If you want to say it, you will say it . Say it every year in the future . "
Sangsang was amused by him and then she began to cough . Her thin body trembled slightly and her brows were tightly knitted . Her face was pale and she looked as if she was in terrible pain .
Ning Que used his left index finger to shoot a piece of Fu paper into the Zen room and it silently began to burn and then turned into a warm fire, floating in the air, like a small sun .
Then he hugged Sangsang into his arms and gently patted her back .
Sangsang coughed painfully and it took a while to ease it .
She closed her eyes and said in a weak voice, "I'm not a good person . I am not good looking, and can't do anything except housework, yet I married you . Many people think that you have suffered a loss . "
Ning Que said, "It sounds like I do suffer some losses . "
Sangsang smiled and said, "It doesn't matter now . It's you who picked me up at that time . "
Ning Que smiled as well and he said, "It's all my good ears' fault . "
Sangsang slowly opened her eyes, looked at him and said, "Ning Que, you are the first person I saw when I opened my eyes . So I must watch you die when I close my eyes . "
Ning Que tried to confirm what he had heard . He said, "Are you saying that you want to look at me when you are dying or you want to watch me die? The former is kind of sad . The latter one is cruel . Do you just want me to die before you?"
Sangsang laughed and said, "You know what I mean . You can marry her after I'm dead . Or marry anyone else if you want . "
Ning Que shook his head and said, "If you die, I really don't want to live anymore . "
Sangsang said, "You just said I was too sentimental earlier . Look at yourself now . That's something only women can say . "
Ning Que said, "Then I am a woman . "
Sangsang said with a smile, "Then I shall be a man . "
. . .
. . .
Sangsang fell asleep .
Ning Que walked out of the Zen room and stood in the courtyard against the autumn tree outside the wall, lost in a daze for a long time .
He recalled many things in his mind, in the past and present . Then he thought of the chess game .
He had known since many years ago that Sangsang had an incredible counting ability . It could be regarded as God's counting and it was not an exaggeration . Sangsang helped him a lot with this ability when he was hunting in Min Mountain and cutting firewood in the City of Wei . But he seemed to forget her talent unless when they were in battles of life and death .
He had gotten used to standing in front of Sangsang, protecting her from any danger . This time, would he be able to her shelter from the storm again?
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. . .
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Chapter 562 Sangsang s SayingTranslator Transn Editor TransnDuring the conversation in the carriage, Mo Shanshan had been responding to Sangsang gently with um hum . When she heard Sangsang s last sentence, without hesitation she responded as usual, but then noticed something off . She raised the tone to express doubts and astonishment and some other complex emotions that were difficult to convey only through pitch fluctuation . If it was a conversation between any other two women in the world, the conversation would be considered to be filled with tension and harsh irony, like they were confronting each other with daggers . But Mo Shanshan knew Sangsang so well that she knew Sangsang was just telling the facts and had no intent to show off . She learned it from Ning Que that Sangsang had a serious illness and she had come to Lanke Temple to cure it . Although it was said that Master Qishan might have a way to cure her, the possibility was so small that even the Headmaster failed to do it . Thinking about the last two sentences Sangsang said, she was a bit sad . Noon was approaching and the black horse carriage stopped beside a temple by the mountainside to have a rest for a while . Monk Guanhai caught up from behind and prepared lunch for the monks and led Ning Que and the others into a quiet courtyard . Sangsang had spent so much energy on the chess game, and her body was still weak . She felt sleepy after eating a few mouthfuls of vegetables . Ning Que carried her into the inner room and spread the clean bedding over her . He tucked the quilt carefully to confirm that there was no room for the autumn wind to get inside . After that, he felt relieved . I have told you not to care about the chess . You just didn t listen to me . Ning Que looked at her sullen face and said anxiously . Sangsang whispered, But I really think it s fun playing chess . I heard that many people admired me after I won . Aren t you happy about it Ning Que thought it over, and replied, I m happy indeed, and proud of you . Sangsang smiled with satisfaction . Ning Que reached out his hand to cover her eyes and asked her to sleep . Sangsang did not want to close her eyes . Instead, she blinked, and her eyelashes made Ning Que s hand itchy . Ning Que . Sangsang s voice came from between his fingers . Ning Que said with a little surprise, I m here . Sangsang said, You are mine . Ning Que laughed and said, I m yours . Yours, yours, all yours . After a moment of silence, Sangsang asked, I am not a good person, am I If the Lady of Light is not a good person, who else could be Am I really the Lady of Light I had killed people when I was young . Ning Que asked, When did you kill anyone I killed grandpa . You just poured a bucket of boiling water . I murdered him with a knife . Then I am your accomplice . What the hell are you thinking Ning Que said angrily, Ever since you were young, I had tried so hard to keep you away from killing or anything that could make your hands bloody . Now you try to prove that you already got blood in your hands . Are you proud of it Sangsang turned around with her back facing him, and said, I m not proud . I just don t think that I am the sort of good person many people think I am . Previously on the way up to the mountain, Ning Que had heard all the conversation between Sangsang and Shanshan even though they spoke in low voices . He had guessed what Sangsang wanted to say right now but he did not want to hear it . However, as in the past, even though he did not want to do something, as long as Sangsang wanted to, she would do it . Sangsang still said whatever she wanted to him even if he did not want to hear it . We spent all our money buying the house beside Yanming Lake and still owe Mr . Qi more than seven hundred taels of silver . If we can withdraw some dividends from the casino in winter, we can pay him back next year . I always feel that it s not good to owe people money . So I m thinking whether to rent out Old Brush Pen Shop . Those gifts given by Emperor and Empress are all collected in a booklet and I stored it at the bottom of the winter clothes box in the west room . The Princess sent a total of 160 trees, which were favored by rich people on the west side of the mountain, according to my inquiry . If we sold them, one tree should be worth over five hundred taels of silver . Aunt Wu had borrowed 14 taels of silver last time but had not returned it yet . I know that Mr . Wu had borrowed a loan from you last time . Only you know how much it was . I won t count those cheap things like oil, salt, and vinegar lest you say I m stingy . Do remember that I hid a gold brick in the wall behind the well and firewood in Old Brush Pen Shop . . . Sangsang stared at the wall and was too shy to turn around . She said, When I was young, I was worried that you wouldn t want to marry me and your wife wouldn t allow me to stay at home . So I have been . . . saving money secretly . I figured that I wouldn t need to panic if I had some money for my dowry so I keep saving even after we are moved to Chang an . Ning Que was surprised after hearing her words . He thought that she was amazing for she was able to save up even though they led a very frugal life . He admired her for her frugality so he smiled and said, I think His Majesty really should hire you to be Minister of Revenue . Sangsang did not respond to his joke and said seriously, The money I have saved so far totals up to more than two thousand and one hundred taels of silver . I ve left it with Aunt Jian . I know you have never liked to sell calligraphy and you did it when we entered Chang an only because I forced you to sell them . If you really don t have enough money, take my savings . These words sounded like the last words of a head of a family . Ning Que wanted to laugh and get angry at the same time but he did not care about whether it was lucky to speak of death or not . He asked, What about the gold brick Sangsang turned around and looked at him seriously, and said, The gold brick is for my parents . Ning Que thought about her confession, and asked, You have nothing left for me except money I had made enough shoes and socks for you to wear for many years . I m not good at needlework . You will just have to put up with them . Sangsang suddenly recalled one thing and she whispered, There is a small black box under the bed of Old Brush Shop . Don t forget it . Ning Que did not know she had a small black box until last year . There were many things thrown away by him for some reason, but they were all valuable to him, such as the calligraphy he wrote after the death of Darkie . He nodded and said, I knew . Sangsang shook her head and said, You don t know . You threw away all those letters sent by Miss Calligraphy Addict after reading them . But I collected them and now there is more than ten of them . Ning Que was silent for a while and said, It is enough to read letters once . Who will want to take them out and read them in the future Sangsang suddenly smiled and said, I was thinking that I would take out the box when we got old and lay on the bamboo chairs of Old Brush Pen Shop and waited to die . By that time, in my opinion, if you read them again, you may be happy . Unfortunately, it seems that I may not be able to grow old with you . I don t know from whom you learn all these sentimental things . Ning Que put his hands into the bedding and held her little cold hands, and said, That is the scene in the imagination of stupid women . You are still young and shouldn t be so sentimental like them . They re so old, they re sour and smell bad . I haven t had a bath for a few days . Am I sour and stinky . Sangsang said, Young Master, I am really going to die . Then I won t be able to tell you this when I m old . I am anxious to tell you all this time so please don t think I m annoying . Ning Que laughed and said, I m not bothered . I just wonder are you done with your last words Sangsang said happily, Almost . Ning Que said, You are still energetic to play chess and speak nonsense . You don t look like you are going to die . Besides, we are meeting Master Qishan today . The Headmaster says he can cure you so he must be able to . There is no need for you to leave your last words at all . Sangsang s eyes widened and she insisted, What if I don t have time to say them Ning Que said, Okay, okay, okay . If you want to say it, you will say it . Say it every year in the future . Sangsang was amused by him and then she began to cough . Her thin body trembled slightly and her brows were tightly knitted . Her face was pale and she looked as if she was in terrible pain . Ning Que used his left index finger to shoot a piece of Fu paper into the Zen room and it silently began to burn and then turned into a warm fire, floating in the air, like a small sun . Then he hugged Sangsang into his arms and gently patted her back . Sangsang coughed painfully and it took a while to ease it . She closed her eyes and said in a weak voice, I m not a good person . I am not good looking, and can t do anything except housework, yet I married you . Many people think that you have suffered a loss . Ning Que said, It sounds like I do suffer some losses . Sangsang smiled and said, It doesn t matter now . It s you who picked me up at that time . Ning Que smiled as well and he said, It s all my good ears fault . Sangsang slowly opened her eyes, looked at him and said, Ning Que, you are the first person I saw when I opened my eyes . So I must watch you die when I close my eyes . Ning Que tried to confirm what he had heard . He said, Are you saying that you want to look at me when you are dying or you want to watch me die The former is kind of sad . The latter one is cruel . Do you just want me to die before you Sangsang laughed and said, You know what I mean . You can marry her after I m dead . Or marry anyone else if you want . Ning Que shook his head and said, If you die, I really don t want to live anymore . Sangsang said, You just said I was too sentimental earlier . Look at yourself now . That s something only women can say . Ning Que said, Then I am a woman . Sangsang said with a smile, Then I shall be a man . . . . . . . Sangsang fell asleep . Ning Que walked out of the Zen room and stood in the courtyard against the autumn tree outside the wall, lost in a daze for a long time . He recalled many things in his mind, in the past and present . Then he thought of the chess game . He had known since many years ago that Sangsang had an incredible counting ability . It could be regarded as God s counting and it was not an exaggeration . Sangsang helped him a lot with this ability when he was hunting in Min Mountain and cutting firewood in the City of Wei . But he seemed to forget her talent unless when they were in battles of life and death . He had gotten used to standing in front of Sangsang, protecting her from any danger . This time, would he be able to her shelter from the storm again . . . . . . . . .