"We're not wearing any," I pointed out. "We came from upstairs."
"Excellent. One less step to worry about."
We each took a cautious step backward when a voice called out our names. "Nigel! Nicole!"
I turned to see Olive, resplendent in a red satin ball gown, bearing down on us, her expression dire.
"Dear God," said Nigel. "As I live and breath, it's the Red Queen."
I pasted a polite smile on my face and prepared for the worst. Her displeasure, however, was not aimed at me. "Absolutely not! No. I forbid it. Nigel Martini, you are not bringing that dog into this party!" she said.
Nigel glanced down at Skippy. "Why ever not?" he asked.
"You know exactly why not," Olive fumed.
Nigel affected a look of understanding. "Oh, right. The invitation. Black tie only. But never fear, Auntie dear, Skippy is dressed appropriately." He lifted up Skippy's massive head to reveal the black on black silk paisley tie that was neatly knotted around his neck. "I think he looks rather dapper, actually," Nigel added in a confidential whisper. Skippy barked and wagged his tail.
"Nigel ..." Olive said through clenched teeth.
I raised my hand. "I completely understand, Olive," I said. "Perhaps this isn't an appropriate place for Skippy. We'll be happy to take him back to our room."
Olive's mouth turned up in a relieved smile. "Thank you, Nicole. I just don't think ... wait," she paused, giving me a searching look. "You are coming back though, right?"
"I don't think so," said Nigel. "It'll be impossible to get a sitter at this late date, especially as most of the eligible ones are already busy tonight. But don't worry. We'll just say a quick hello and good-bye to Audrey and then be on our way."
Olive grabbed Nigel's arm as he moved to turn away. "You'll do no such thing." With a reluctant sigh, she said, "Fine. He can stay. But please try to keep an eye on him. He can be a bit ... startling."
"You won't even notice he's here," Nigel promised.
Olive raised her eyebrow. "Yes, well. As long as I notice that you're here, that's fine. Now go say hello to Audrey. She's over there," Olive said, indicating a large table in the center of the room.
We dutifully made our way over to where Audrey stood with Leo talking to a few guests. She was wearing a long silver gown with a deep, narrow neckline. Her hair was slicked back. Her makeup was more elaborate than usual, but it still didn't hide the fact that she was pale and there were faint blue circles under her eyes. Leo stood next to her giving every appearance of the devoted husband. He wore the required black tux, which normally elevates any man's appearance. On Leo it just looked like he sold a better brand of used cars. I noticed that he was sporting a new bruise on his face thanks to Nigel's parting shot last night. As we approached, Audrey and Leo saw us and smiled. Only one was genuine.
"Nic! Nigel!" Audrey said, after excusing herself from her other guests. "I'm so glad you could be here." Turning back to Leo, she said, "Leo, I don't think you've ever met my cousin Nigel's wife. Nic, this is Leo. Leo, meet Nic."
Around us, all the guests surreptitiously watched Leo and Nigel while pretending to do otherwise. Leo rolled his eyes. "We've met, Audrey. The whole room knows that we've met. There is a lovely photo on the front page of today's Post documenting that meeting. So, let's not pretend otherwise, shall we?"
"Please, Leo," Audrey pleaded through a fake smile. "Everyone is watching."
Leo, obliging, pasted on his own fake smile. "Fine. It was great to see you last night, Nigel. I look forward to suing you for assault. An assault that was happily captured on camera."
Nigel smiled as well. "Nothing gave me greater pleasure! In fact, I look forward to doing it again. And the only thing a jury would convict me of would be not hitting you harder."
Audrey winced, but said nothing. "That's enough," I said. "You're making Audrey uncomfortable. Happy birthday, Audrey. You look lovely, by the way."
"As do you, Leo," added Nigel. "By the way, how do you get your tux so shiny?"
Audrey pretended not to hear Nigel. To me she said, "Thank you, Nic. I love your dress. You should wear pink more often."
"Why, thank you," I said. "But you know, the zipper isn't latching right. Would you please be a dear and help me with it? I asked Nigel, but he's all thumbs."
"Um ... sure, of course," Audrey stammered, taking a tentative step toward me.
"Oh, thanks," I said. "Not here, though. Where are the restrooms?"
"Over there ..." Audrey began.
Leo interrupted her. "I don't think you should leave your guests, Audrey," he said. "I'm sure someone else can help Nic with her problem."
"Oh, but we'll only be a minute," I said as I pulled Audrey away. Nigel quickly stepped between Leo and us and said, "Do you mind watching Skippy for me for a minute, Leo? I'm going to get a drink. Just be careful what you say around him. He's been trained to attack when he hears a common everyday phrase."
Leo's eyes grew wide, and he stared cautiously at Skippy. "What is it?" he asked.
"No, but you're close," said Nigel. "I'll be right back."
I dragged Audrey across the room and out of the ballroom. Finding a quiet corner, I turned to her. "What is going on? Why are you behaving like a scared rabbit?"
Audrey stared back at me, her brown eyes deceptively wide. "Nothing's going on. Leo came home and told me everything. He's very sorry. He said he just needed to blow off a little steam."
"Blow off a little steam? He disappeared for several days!"
"I know," Audrey said quickly, her cheeks flushing a dark red. "But he's sorry. I'm sure he'll never do it again."
"You don't really believe that, do you?" I asked.
Audrey nodded her head. "I do. I told him that I knew he owed people money and that I would take care of it only if he promised to go to Gamblers Anonymous."
"And he agreed?"
She nodded. "He had to. How else is he going to pay it?"
I didn't say anything. Leo certainly had had money last night and made it sound as if he'd already paid Frank back. If that were true, then he hadn't gotten it from Audrey. So, who had he gotten it from?
I changed the subject. "What about Lizzy Marks? Did you tell him that you knew about the two of them?"
She looked down, suddenly fascinated with the carpet. "He ... he told me about her. They ... were just friends. They were more than that once, but it's over now."
"Well, it would have to be, Audrey. The poor woman's dead."
Audrey flinched as if I slapped her. "I'm sorry, Audrey. I don't mean to tell you your business." I paused. "No, that's not true. I don't want to tell you your business, but clearly someone needs to shove some sense into your head. Leo is a slime bag who is only interested in your money. He is using you. Tomorrow you will turn twenty-five and will gain control over your trust. There will be no Aunt Olive and Uncle Leo to protect you from yourself. It seems to me that if you're old enough to be deemed responsible to manage that size fortune then you should be responsible period."
Audrey's face bunched, and her eyes welled with tears. As a rule, I don't kick puppies. However, watching Audrey now, I felt that I had an inkling as to what it must feel like.
Audrey slowly raised her head. "Please don't hate me," she said in a small voice, "but ..."
"Audrey! There you are! Whatever are you doing out here? You have guests to attend to!" I turned to see Olive marching across the lobby, her red dress trailing out behind her, her expression grim.
Audrey gave me an agonized look and then turned away. "I was just helping Nic with her zipper," she called out in a practiced cheerful voice.
Olive shot me a doubtful glance. "Well, this is more important than a zipper," she said, extending her hand to Audrey. "Mrs. Otterson is asking for you."
I remained standing where I was. It was clear that Mrs. Otterson's interest did not extend to me. Which was fine. I wanted to think.
twenty-seven.
After about twenty minutes, Nigel came out into the lobby carrying two glasses of champagne. "Here you are," he said as he crossed to where I was sitting. Taking a seat next to me on the leather settee, he said, "I was wondering where you went." There was a smudge of red lipstick on his right cheek. I reached over and rubbed it off with my thumb.
"I don't think this is your shade, by the way," I said as I took one of the glasses. I took a sip and asked, "Where's Skippy?"
"With the owner of the lipstick, a delightful woman named Rose. Apparently, she once had a Vaudeville act that included a dog and a monkey. She's trying to teach Skippy the basics."
"Which part? The dog's or the monkey's?"
"Does it really matter?" he asked.
"Probably not," I admitted.
"How's Audrey?" Nigel asked.
"Well, that's an interesting question. She seems nervous. And unstable. And about ten other anxiety-induced traits. Why don't we just go with 'A Hot Mess' and leave it at that."
"A hot mess who is about to inherit an enormous fortune," Nigel corrected.
"Right. A hot mess who is about to inherit an enormous fortune and who is married to a gold-digging louse."
Nigel leaned back. "I really wish this weekend was over," he said.
I clinked my glass against his. "Me too."
As we came back into the ballroom, we bumped into Nigel's parents. Paul was handsome in a fitted tux. Doris looked lovely as always. She was wearing a strapless gown of midnight blue that fell in graceful folds to the floor. Her face was bright with laughter. "Can I just tell you how much I love your dog?" she said.
Paul wrapped his arm around Doris's waist and grinned at us. "Your mother is quite enamored with Skippy. She was rewarding him with the bacon and scallop hors d'oeuvres."
Doris nodded. "He seemed to prefer those over the crab puffs."
"Well, don't we all?" mused Nigel.
"Can he visit us sometime?" Doris asked. "I'd love to introduce him to Chloe."
"The alpaca?" I asked.
Doris nodded. "She's very gentle, and she needs a friend closer to her own size. Our poodle, Muffin, scares the crap out of her."
"Muffin scares the crap out of everyone, Mother. Including me," said Nigel.
"Speaking of crap, I guess you saw that Leo is back," said a thick voice behind my shoulder. I turned to see Toby. His eyes were glassy and, despite the excellent fit of his custom-made tux, he appeared disheveled. "I really hoped he was gone for good this time," he said, glaring to where Leo sat alone at his table.
"So did everyone," said Nigel.
Toby shook his head. "He's a rat son-of-a-bitch. Why couldn't he have just stayed gone? He only makes her miserable."
Daphne appeared at my side. She was wearing a deep sapphire gown that hugged and dipped in all the right places. Her hair was arranged in one of those casual upsweeps that are anything but. "What are we talking about?" she asked.
"The doomed love affair of our very own Romeo and Juliet," Nigel answered. "Audrey and Leo."
Daphne rolled her eyes. "I wouldn't compare them to Romeo and Juliet. For one thing, you were sad when they died. No one would shed a tear if Leo dropped dead."
"Why is it that everyone can see what a louse he is, except for Audrey?" Toby asked.
"I don't know," said Nigel. We all turned to stare at Leo. "Unfortunately, Audrey seems to be the only one who hasn't been able to grasp that point yet."
"Someday she will, but by then it'll be too late," Toby said.
"Unfortunately, I think you are correct," said Nigel. "But there's not much we can do about it."
"There has to be something," Toby protested.
"And yet, there is not," said Nigel.
"Are you here alone, Toby?" I asked, hoping to appear as if I were merely changing the subject when in fact I was being nosey.
Toby looked at me blankly. "Am I what?"
"Did you bring a date?" I asked.
Daphne turned on him. "That's right!" she exclaimed. "Since when did you start dating Susan Henkley? Are you out of your mind? She's poison!"
"What? I ... how ... who said I was dating her?" Toby stammered.
"You practically had your tongue down her throat the other night at Baxter's!" Daphne said.
Toby seemed to lose control of this muscle now and regarded Daphne wide-eyed. "Well, that certainly is an image I didn't want shoved into my head," said Nigel.
"Is she here?" Daphne continued.
"I don't think so," Toby answered finally. "At least I didn't bring her."
"Are you dating her?" Daphne pressed.
"What? No. No!" said Toby, his voice agitated.