"Noooo - "
The shriek echoed in the dead of night.
"Mama, mama."
Touko rushed over, turning on the bedside light and shaking her mother by the shoulder until she awoke.
"Haa … haa … haa."
Ragged breathing. Her eyes were open, but she hadn't fully woken up. She'd tripped on the boundary between dreams and reality and was struggling forwards.
"It's alright. It was just a dream."
Touko stroked her mother's cheek, fixing her errant strands of hair.
"It's alright."
She repeated. Then, as though she were gradually understanding the state of affairs, her mom took a couple of deep breaths before mumbling, as though for confirmation:
"Touko-chan."
"That's right."
Touko affirmed. Then she repeated, "It's alright," once more. This one wasn't for her mother - she said it to calm herself down.
"You're really sweating."
There should be a towel somewhere in the room. When Touko stood up from the bedside, she was grabbed by her pajama sleeve.
"Don't go."
"Mama … "
Touko went back to kneeling down on the carpet.
"Don't go. Don't leave mama behind. Please."
She implored her daughter, tears in her eyes.
She was still in thrall to her dream. So she was terrified of being alone.
As she rubbed her mom's shoulder, Touko cast her gaze around the room. Her dad wasn't anywhere to be seen - the bed beside her mom was empty.
"Yeah. I'm here."
Touko had a vague idea of what her mother's dream was about.
It had happened a number of times in the last month or two. Her mom would have a nightmare and cry out in the night.
Typically it would be handled by Touko's dad, sleeping next to her mom, but there were nights like tonight when Touko came running to soothe her mother. In those cases, her mom would always say she had a terrible dream. Her words were muddied once she'd fully woken up, but while she was still confused some fragments of her dream would come tumbling out of her mouth.
- My baby's gone.
Those words were something Touko couldn't ask about. So she would let it pass, without comment.
Because her mom was someone to pity. Touko knew that it would cause trouble if she were to ask her what she meant by that.
"Where would I go? This is the only home I have."
She lost her child over and over in her dreams. So even though it was only Touko appearing in front of her, she desperately tried to cling on to her.
"It's alright."
So Touko repeated, "It's alright," over and over to get her mother to calm down. It didn't matter that it was a stopgap measure, or a mere consolation. Touko felt that it was because of this that she could control her own emotions too.
"Your next dream will be a good one."
Touko smiled as she adjusted the quilt.
"I wonder."
Touko said, "Definitely," to her anxious mom.
"I'll stay here with you until you fall asleep again, mama."
"Okay."
In the dim light of the lamp, her mom's face looked like that of a young girl, and an elderly woman.