Chapter 5. Voices
The days have passed and the scent of winter has already started to fill the chilly mid-November air. A few days ago, the first snow of the year fell.
Although the season had changed, Yu-ye and Yunyoung's days haven't. After school, Yunyoung would still go over to play with Yu-ye for a little while until they both drop to the floor, sleepily hugging each other, as if they had fainted.
They would always wake up around 8 and Yunyoung would go back home to prepare dinner for her family, while Yu-ye stayed on the floor, lazily shuffling around until he finally had enough strength to sit upright and watch TV.
That day was different though. Yunyoung and Yu-ye were, as always, the only ones in the house.
Already pitch-black outside, they still had a good 3 hours left before Yu-ye's Grandmother and Yunyoung's family would come home.
Yu-ye was sleeping like a baby, deep in Yunyoung's arms while using her left arm as a pillow like the other days. He suddenly jerked up, sat down and checked his surroundings. He acted like a cat who had just heard a dog barking in its sleep, woken up in fear and surprise.
Yu-ye tried to open his half-asleep eyes as he listened closely in silence.
Yunyoung, who woke up from his unusual actions, looked up at Yu-ye with her eyes full of confusion.
"What's wrong, Yu-ye? What's with the sudden…"
"Oh, sis, I heard someone call my name…so…"
"What? Who? Who called your name?"
"Sis, you didn't hear it?"
"I was sleeping so I couldn't hear anything."
"That's weird…I could have sworn I heard it clearly…"
Yu-ye tilted his head in confusion, then headed towards the front gate and looked out into the road in front of his house. He even checked the restroom, in case Grandmother had come back, but nobody was there.
Yunyoung also thought maybe her father or her sister might have come home early, and looked around as well.
But, they were home alone.
"Ugh…"
After looking with Yu-ye for a while, Yunyoung felt her hair stand up on the back of her neck. If he had heard something, but nothing was to be seen, wouldn't that be a ghost?
Yunyoung always liked to think of herself as a logical girl who never believed in such 'occult' related ideas. She clenched her muscles from the chills she was getting, and managed to flick Yu-ye's head.
"Nobody's there! What's up with you? You were sleeping so well…"
"No, I really thought someone was calling me…"
"Go back and get some more sleep."
Yunyoung held Yu-ye's hand as he struggled to formulate his thoughts into words. She quickly pulled him into the room to shake herself out of the fear.
Yu-ye had never lied to Yunyoung. Not once.
But that still didn't mean Yu-ye's words were true. Lying and mishearing were two different things.
'But isn't mishearing a voice a bigger problem?'
Yunyoung thought as she stared at Yu-ye who managed to fall asleep with her arm as a pillow once again. Troubled, she couldn't help but to wrinkle her forehead.
Both answers to the situation ended in a new problem. Was this one of the 'thoughts a mother would have while raising her child?' Despite Yunyoung's age, she tried to think responsibly. But soon after, she couldn't help but to fall asleep next to Yu-ye.
She hated racking her brain with things she couldn't understand.
Yunyoung thought the voice must have been a figment of Yu-ye's imagination, but it continued to torture her. Just as she thought Yu-ye fell into deep sleep, he bolted up to claim that he heard a voice. Who is there to blame?
The worries snowballed bigger and bigger. The documentary Yunyoung had watched a couple days ago explained the lives and experiences of those who were gifted by the Gods to become what is called a Mudang (shaman). Mudangs were destined with the fate to witness the images of the dead, their wraths, and their messages to the living whether they liked it or not.
Was Yu-ye a chosen Mudang?
'No… … Since he is a guy, would that make him a Baksu Mudang (male shaman)?
Either way, it meant that something otherworldly was going to take over Yu-ye. To a delicate and petite middle-schooler like Yunyoung, it was a prediction worthy of devastation.
If she could have avoided it she would have already ran. But this was her most treasured and loved younger brother.
Therefore, she decided to have courage, and face things head on.
From that day, Yunyoung started to watch Yu-ye closely.
Throughout her observations, she was rather anxious and nervous than relieved. Nothing was normal about him. She wondered how she couldn't see till now. When she tried, it was truly astounding.
First, although he was young, he was never scared of anything. Thunder, ghosts, the darkness…the things other children feared couldn't get a reaction out of Yu-ye.
When she asked, he replied that he didn't like the rain but loved the sound of thunder. Something about listening to it made him happier?
This situation alone was enough to see that he was fearless. The voices that he seemed to hear scared Yunyoung rather than the boy himself. He wasn't startled or uncomfortable. He showed enough understanding and acceptance of it to reassure Yunyoung from trembling in anxiousness.
Furthermore, how smart was he?
It hasn't been long since Yunyoung started teaching Yu-ye, but it seemed her knowledge wasn't enough to teach him anymore. Recently, she threw him a high school math workbook that her sister bought. Her knowledge had long since reached its limit.
"Ugh… Maybe its normal for a genius to hear voices…?"
The more she looked, the more frustrated she became. She wanted to stop watching the kid who surpassed her in almost everything.
Although she sidetracked, Yunyoung continued to observe Yu-ye when he heard the voices.
After observing, she realized that the voices had a set period before appearing again.
The voices came once a week, always at the same time, and in the form of a woman's voice. Yunyoung searched the house from corner to corner in case there really was a woman nearby, but at the time the voices were heard, no woman of any kind was ever spotted.
Yunyoung needed to confirm if the voices were from another source, misheard and misinterpreted by Yu-ye as she expected, or a real human voice. The way to confirm was simple. She needed to stay awake until Yu-ye woke up saying 'I heard the voice'.
If she could hear it too, it would mean that the voice wasn't Yu-ye's imagination.
But to her embarrassment, her plans to stay awake always went to dust. Every day she fell asleep while trying to keep an eye on Yu-ye, but only to be woken up by Yu-ye's grandmother shaking her from the depths of her sleep.
Finally, when Yunyoung admitted to herself the obvious fact that she 'had a hard time staying up because she was tired and sleepy', she started to prepare for the worst.
To stay away from sleeping later, Yunyoung slept through the school recess, lunchtime and even during the class.
Yunyoung was yelled at by her teachers in every hour in different classes. Thus, she could obtain the trained, foolproof mental state where she could stay awake without sleeping for a long time.
In case the environment mattered, Yunyoung still acted the same towards Yu-ye, pulling him closer and lending her arm as a pillow as always. With Yu-ye tight in her arms, Yunyoung focused all her senses to her ears.
She started to wonder how much time had passed.
It had been a while since she froze in place, waiting in silence. She couldn't tell the time because she focused all her muscles on staying still, causing them to become stiffened and uncomfortable. Sound she heard, if any, were mere everyday sounds. The heater running next door, the faint bark of a dog, a man, probably Mr. Lee as always, shouting in a slur, heavily drunk……Nothing out of the norm.
Then Yu-ye jolted as he let out a little
"Ah!"
He had been sleeping like a corpse until he suddenly jumped up as his eyes flew open, frantically searching for the source of the noise. Then, when his eyes met Yunyoung's wide, startled eyes, he gave an awkward smile. Yunyoung's ears couldn't catch the woman's voice.
"Did you hear the voice again?"
"Yea… I thought I heard it loud and clear…… I guess I just heard it wrong again."
Yu-ye scratched his head as if he were to say sorry.
"Okay then. You should sleep more. I'll lend you my arm as a pillow."
"O..okay"
Yu-ye managed to look around once more even as his eyes were drooping shut. Then, like a drugged chicken, he dropped into Yunyoung's arms, deep in sleep. As Yunyoung kept her gaze at Yu-ye, she was worried sick.
'It must be his imagination hallucinating the voice. Should I bring him to the hospital?'
Her heart was already at the hospital with Yu-ye, but a realistic problem faced the two. Their money wasn't short by a couple cents or even a couple dollars. They had no money at all.
Yunyoung's allowance per day was two dollars. The bus costs $1.80 which would leave the two with only 20 cents to spare. Even if she was to save up for a week, it would only amount to a dollar at best. If she had anything to trust, it was her red piggy bank she had been raising for a couple years, but sadly, it had long been slaughtered by her older sister.
Yunyoung told Yu-ye's grandmother about his hallucinations, telling her she needed to take him to the hospital. To her disappointment, the grandmother's reactions were meek. She replied that he went to the hospital when he was little, and the doctor said he was fine, therefore, he didn't need to go again.
Her logic didn't make any sense to Yunyoung.
Yu-ye said she was her blood-related grandmother.
But how is it that she didn't seem to have an ounce of consideration or love for her only grandson?
Did it have to do with Yu-ye's parents who never seemed to be around?
Yunyoung was curious but wasn't stupid or inconsiderate enough to ask Yu-ye directly.
At last, Yunyoung hurried over to her school nurse in desperation. She explained that her 8-year-old younger brother hears hallucinated voices regularly, but she didn't have enough money to bring him to a hospital to have a check-up.
The school nurse replied that some children who are raised in an unstable household in their youth show such symptoms and behavior.
After hearing the nurse, Yunyoung thought of the neglectful attitude of Yu-ye's grandmother. Surely that kind of no interest would bring a child all sorts of problems.
The school nurse told Yunyoung that unless the voices are being heard in shorter intervals than before, the symptoms will fade away with time. Relieved to hear that it would be healed naturally, Yunyoung came home pleased.
Yunyoung thought if his grandmother wasn't going to change, at least she would make sure to make Yu-ye's mind at peace. To be honest, other options really did not exist.
A few more days have passed again, and Yu-ye woke up from the voices.
Yunyoung, who was waiting for Yu-ye to get up from the voices, grabbed Yu-ye's waist then threw him on the stack of soft linens she had laid out prior to napping. She hoped that the shock would make him forget about the voices as she held him in her arms to sleep. Yu-ye, who flailed about in surprise slowly stopped and fell back asleep. The faint, sweet scent of Yunyoung brought peace to his heart. Yunyoung, looking at Yu-ye with her eyes half asleep, felt relieved at his response. Only then, she fell asleep next to him.
After that day, Yu-ye almost never said he heard voices again.