Published at 12th of November 2020 10:19:23 AM
My usual day has always been very full and simple .
When I wake up at dawn, the first thing I do is wear my ragged clothes .
I work as a servant, so not only dresses but also any decent clothes are wasteful . Originally, my only dress was white, but it turned into a black-grey dress with oil stains and ragged fabric with time . With this, I can do dirty work without hesitation .
Draw water from the courtyard well . Make 20 round trips . Repair the house… etc . . anything…
I usually started the day adding firewood to the furnace and starting the fire . I put the dough that was prepared last night in the oven and start the cooking . I made some stew with vegetables and sausage before the bread is baked .
Later, I visited everyone, including the servants and my parents, brother and sister and wake them up . I did the laundry while they have breakfast .
A merchant’s request came . I bought some ingredients, then hand over my bread and fabric and receive more money than I paid .
When I return inside, everyone had already finished their meal and no one was there .
I gathered the little leftovers on everyone’s plate, and made my breakfast eating it with some cold soup . My breakfast has always been full of vegetables and very delicious because my father dislikes vegetables .
After I’m done with those tasks, I enter my room and head to the desk to study .
… Sister died yesterday .
… My life disappeared a week ago .
On the way to know her fiancée, the carriage tumbled into a river and was swallowed by the turbulence and disappeared . It was close to the royal capital, so a fairly large search was performed . But they couldn’t find her . On the fifth day, my parents became certain of my sister’s death .
Much earlier than the glamorous wedding, a silent and complete family funeral said goodbye to my sister forever .
We had a lot of engagement petitions here and there for her . My father wrote a letter to all of them . First of all, thanking them for asking her hand in marriage and politely informing of her death .
I sign father’s name on the envelope . For many years now, I have been writing his letters .
I stand up after finishing and prepare for lunch . Today’s family menu is some soup of onion and zucchini, pumpkin salad, and bread . For myself, I fry the vegetable skins and cut ends with fat and some bread . I eat it while standing . Delicious .
I returned to my room while my family was eating and worked again until evening .
I make dinner and clean up the dried laundry . I return to the dining room, but unfortunately, there was no food left today . Have only hot water, so I clear the dishes, polish the floor, scrape the ashes from the furnace, and set aside the dirt and organic waste for garden fertilizer .
Boil water for the bath of the family . Then, I clean the bathroom .
I sprinkle some manure and ash over the vegetable garden . Harvest vegetables, then chop wood .
-After that, head to the bath . The hot water was crisp . I wiped my wet body with old clothes . The ragged work clothes are now wet and I leave them on the well for laundry cleaning .
My hair is much harder than straw, and duller than a black cloth .
Then I return to the mansion, dragging my tired and cold body .
I can’t go to sleep yet . After calculating the balance of the day and putting it on the books, I write down my father’s schedule for tomorrow …… and the bread for tomorrow must be prepared .
Oh, but I want to read a little book .
One page, one line, one character . I want to go to sleep after reading some texts .
My sister told me the story of a distant foreign country -while recalling… the name must have been “Red Cat Zubaro”- She performed it with so much enthusiasm . I want to read it…
As soon as I entered the main floor of the mansion, I was suddenly hit with a bang .
“I wish you had died!”
It was my mother .
“Oh my cute Anastasia . Why did you die . Why …!”
Mom screams and hits me .
Over my cold cheeks, I can see that mother’s hands hurt .
Father is just looking . I remain silent and continued to be struck by mother .
Even children who aren’t cute aren’t abused . This is the first time my parents did this without meaning . But there was no surprise .
It was not surprising the unreasonable violence or being told to die on behalf of my sister .
“You killed Anastasia? Did you work on the carriage? You pushed the carriage into the river . So you killed My Anastasia . ”
“It’s your fault! Kill people! Die! You die!”
……Oh . Poor mother .
Anastasia was a treasure for mother . She was a flower . She was an angel .
Poor mother . I understand your feelings . I’m also sad because Anastasia died .
Poor anastasia … because she was too cute . Mother whose angel was robbed is really poor .
I hate being beaten because it hurts .
But compared to the dead Anastasia . Compared to mother’s chest pain .
Suddenly the beating stopped . When I opened my eyes, Dad was holding her hand .
“Stop it now, it will only hurt you”
“Even if it hurts, I can never see her face again . Anastasia is dead . ”
“No, no, don’t do this . Because Mary is going to the Count of Granado . ”
“I?”
I thought what I heard was wrong . But my father looked straight at me and told me .
“Mary, replace Anastasia, that’s your compensation for surviving . ”
Atonement . What atonement, Father .
What sin did I do?
I have not killed Anastasia . I have not even been on the same carriage . If I survive, is it a sin? Is your, brother, or mother being alive also a sin?
Oh, I see .
It’s no good because It’s me .
I won’t be even if I want… Anastasia .
The beautiful, cute, bright, Anastasia .
I also like to be loved, kind, and demanded by everyone but I’m not her .
“Plak…”
“Mary?”
There was a quiet, gentle voice calling me .
When I woke up, I was wrapped in a blanket naked and laid on a bench .
In that state, Tunica is rubbing my back . Mio is combing my hair .
As I looked around, Mio narrowed her eyes .
“Did you take a nap?”
“… I was sleeping …?”
“Yes . Did you get hurt?”
“No … I feel good”
“Mary, please sleep a little more . I’m just applying the cream throughout your whole body . ”
Tunica says . I closed my eyes again .
“――Well, be at easy . Leave your beauty treatment to me . ”
“… Mary is so beautiful …”
Their voices get farther away .
This time I did not dream .
But the next time I woke up, a dream-like world was spreading far more than a dream .
— More of all the novels tomorrow!
Translated by Djurasico (dot) home (dot) blog