She planted herself directly on the floor and pulled out the bottommost drawer of the cupboard. It was filled with an assortment of memorabilia.
She emptied the drawer on the floor, and a letter fluttered out. She opened it and plenty of little notes spilled out.
Song Qingchun quickly swiped them into a pile and later confirmed these were letter-esque notes Qin Yinan had written to her during high-school.
Song Qingchun stuffed the notes back into the envelope and arranged everything back into the drawer. Finally, there was a white envelope that remained; it had the seal 'Official Song Empire Document' on it. Song Qingchun frowned, and her expression dropped.
This was Song Cheng's suicide note.
If not for this suicide note, she wouldn't have believed her big brother had committed suicide.
Even though that was months ago, Song Qingchun's eyes still started to mist as held the envelope in her hands.
After a long hesitation, she opened the envelope with trembling fingers and pulled out the white paper from within. When she saw Song Cheng's familiar handwriting, her tears fell in earnest.
She had read the letter over a hundred times. She could memorize the content of it easily, but whenever she read it again, she would still cry inconsolably.
Song Cheng had always been a positive person, and under his guidance, Song Empire had been on its rise. He had married a beautiful wife, and they had planned to have a baby of their own, so truly, Song Qingchun had a hard time understanding why he would suddenly jump off the side of a building.
With a sniffle, Song Qingchun started to read his suicide note, line by line, character by character. She was still sad, but she had learned to accept it.
When Song Qingchun read the section directed at her, she could not control her tears anymore.
Qingchun, I haven't had the opportunity to tell you this, but even though I have always bullied you, in my heart, you are a woman who is just as important as our mother.
Song Cheng was three years older than she was, and his favorite pastime was fighting with her and bullying her. She would always complain that he was a horrible big brother, and she refused to call him big brother, always referring to him by name. Whenever she called Qin Yinan "Brother Yinan", he would pinch her on the back of her neck and twist her face around to look at him and exclaim mock-angrily, "Hello, I am your real brother!"
He had said that many times, but not once had she yielded and called him "Brother". It was after his death that she regretted their many inconsequential fights, regretted how she had been such an impatient sister, regretted that she hadn't called him "Big Brother" daily.
Qingchun, I know you will cry, but remember, I have always preferred to see you smile.
Qingchun, I know my decision will be difficult for you to understand, but I hope you can forgive me, forgive your irresponsible big brother.
Qingchun…
Song Qingchun choked on her tears. She stopped reading because she already knew what came next.
Song Qingchun cried for a long time before picking up the suicide note again to continue reading; however, her eyes were fixated on the word Qingchun .
This is weird; he has written my name correctly. Since he was young, he would purposely write my name incorrectly to piss me off. This was a habit he never changed even though he was a grown man.